Chapter 4: Dating 101

The very next morning, Patrick arrived at SpongeBob's pineapple.

"Welcome, Patrick," SpongeBob greeted Patrick at the door. "Come on in, and follow me to the library."

So they went into SpongeBob's giant library. Surrounding the room were seemingly thousands of books, which he hadn't even come close to reading them all, because he had so much.

SpongeBob got out a pencil, paper, and a clipboard, and they sat down.

"Wait, what are we doing again?" Patrick asked, confused.

"Patrick," he explained, "you're supposed to tell me what you're looking for in love, so I can help you get a date. Remember? You were crying yesterday because you wanted one."

"Oh, right," Patrick responded, happily.

"So, tell me. What do you find attractive for women?"

"Well, let me think about it…" Patrick began. "I like mermaids," he said, after thinking about it for a few seconds. "I think they're hot."

"Ah, I see," said SpongeBob. "So, you'd rather date someone who's not your own species?"

"Yep."

"Mer…maids," SpongeBob said to himself as he wrote it down. "Actually, I don't think I need a clipboard. I think we've all got you covered."

"So…how do we find a mermaid?" Patrick asked.

"Well, let's look up them in the phone book." SpongeBob brought one enormous and heavy phone book, struggling to hold it up. It was so heavy, his arms fell off, just as he was about to put it down near Patrick.

He got his arms back, and SpongeBob searched for the "mermaid" section of the phone book. "Ah, here we go, mermaids," he said. But then he noticed something about it.

"Hmm…there appear to only be seven mermaids. And they're all royalty. Are you sure you want such high class, Patrick?"

"Yes, I'm okay with that."

"Well, if that's true, and if you get married, you'll become part of royalty, too!" SpongeBob realized, in surprise. "Let's see if anyone is available."

Then he looked through the list of them.

"Queen Hargen…married to Kind Quenstar. Princess Melinda…married to Prince Jaman. Princess May…married to Prince July. Princess Jamie…single, but she's only two years old. Princess April…married to Prince August. Princess Sea…married to Prince Ocean."

"Well, Patrick, there's only one mermaid that you can date: Princess Mindy."

"Oh, I remember her. I think she's pretty," Patrick said in a dreamy voice, recalling her. She was the daughter of King Neptune and helped SpongeBob and Patrick on their adventure to stop Plankton from ruling the city after stealing the king's crown.

"Alright, then," SpongeBob said. "Then we shall make an important visit to the castle." So, they set out on an adventure.

Stay tuned!