Chapter Sixteen: White Flag Part. One
Lauren's POV
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There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve…
Over a century and Malcom X's words still ring just as true. I don't know when that quote began being stuck in my head, but it's there. I've known it since high school, appreciated it even then, but I had stopped thinking of it until one morning.
One morning I woke up before the clock, got dressed, put my makeup on and then sat down on the edge to put my heels on and the quote came to me. I sat there for a good ten minutes before the alarm went off and I went about my day. Didn't think about it again, until the next morning and the morning after that.
That's been my routine for a month now.
Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss…
Hands folded in front of myself, I sit staring at the door and I wait. I listen and wait. Ethan and Michael's heartrates remain the same, it's too early for them to be up. Victoria's picks up and then steadies before repeating. Maybe pushups or sit-ups, I haven't asked. Then there's Dani's, as erratic as ever, and always awake before me.
I wonder if it's by design or just happens that way. I wonder if she just sits out there waiting for me or if she is just used to being up that early. I wonder what she thinks when she sits out there waiting for us, for me. I wonder if she has normal thoughts or are they all consumed with…whatever runs through her mind. Most of all I wonder why she has never once tried to come in.
Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss…
I glance back at the clock, two minutes before six thirty. My eyes find their way back onto the door. Every morning I wake up and it feels like I'm waiting for a funeral. Every single morning. I know the feeling well, I've been through many of them. More than anyone should have to. Every morning, the same feeling. It's unmistakable.
It begins with this heavy weight that makes you want to stay in bed but there's this sense of urgency that you need to get up, there's so much to do. So you move fast and you get ready and you're ready but then it's like hitting a brick wall. You stop and remember that heavy weight tied around your ankles, around your neck and for a while it's unbearable. You just want it all to hurry up and be over, there's so much to do and all of these responsibilities you aren't sure how you'll make it. You just want it to be over, but then there's this guilt because you know you shouldn't feel that way. So then the weight returns and so does the urgency. It's a vicious cycle.
The alarm goes off and with a sigh I force myself off the bed, brushing myself off before I silence the alarm and head out. The room that was once Sean's now belonging to the boys still closed. The room once Dani's now Victoria's still closed. They never seem to be open, just like old times. Nodding to myself, I make my way down the hall and there she is.
Dani sprawled out on the couch, leaning into the crook of arm, one leg hanging over the edge while the other is on the cushions. Remote in hand, as her attention shifts from the television to me. She smiles, running her free hand through her hair. She looks normal, not psychotic in the least. I suppose I never did either. What she has taken to is wearing sweats and tees, how she remembers Bo dressing before…everything.
"Where you going?"
"You remember, I'm meeting with your mom this morning."
"Did you want me to come?"
"No, I think it would be better if I went alone."
"Hm."
"Dani, you said you would try if she came around."
"I don't have a problem." She shrugs. "Honestly, it's not the same without her here."
I almost laugh. "Really?"
"Really, I mean we're already missing Sean and Ethan is hardly around, always over there. I came back for a family, I want them all."
"Well, I intend to do my best."
"Mother." She sort of snaps, grapping my wrist as I walk around the back of the couch. "We've been good, very good. Haven't we?" I nod, with a smile. "Please don't do anything that would jeopardize that."
"Dani," Rather than simply jerking away, I wrap my hand around her hand the best I can. "I'm going for breakfast with your mom, not going to plan war strategy."
"I would hope not." After a second, her features relax and she flashes me a smile. "After all we have plans for that play next month, and that dinner tomorrow night."
"I'm looking forward to one of those." Letting go of her hand, I pull away. "Did you want me to bring you something back?"
"No thanks."
"Okay." Nodding, I start back toward the elevator.
"Mother." I stop, taking a breath before I turn back to face her. "Forgetting something?"
Forcing a smile, I walk back over to the couch, leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead. She smiles saying something like "there we go" or "that's better" I can't hear it over my concentration to keep my heartrate even. The truth is that well-behaved Dani is actually worse than savage Dani, because I never know anymore what's genuine and what's not. I never know what is a game and what is just…life. I never know whether she is trying to deliberately hurt me or just accidently.
Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss…
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Victoria's POV
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"Get up!" I pound on the door before pushing their door in. "Get up lazy asses."
"They're boys." The sound of her voice making me jump. She lingers near my mother's bedroom, leaning against the doorframe. "The men in our family have always been lazy."
"Ethan has to get to Sean's and Mikey has shit to do."
"Does mother tell you to keep them away from me?"
"No, she does tell me to make sure they do what their supposed to do." I roll my eyes, pulling the door shut hard enough to slam it. "That'll get them up."
"Are you still mad at me?" She steps in front of my path. "Still?"
"I'm not mad, I just don't like you."
"Why?"
"You realize five of us and eventually six of us will be living in this apartment right?"
"You don't like me…because you don't have enough space?" her eyebrow raises, almost laughing at me. "Well, that's one of the most me things I've ever heard."
"Unfortunately we're related."
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Lauren's POV
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Control, it's all about control Lauren.
Sighing, my fingertips tapping the mug. Funny, I've lived here longer than anywhere else in my life, and I didn't even know we have a dive diner. I didn't even know they still existed. Lukewarm, putrid coffee. A menu small with no specials. Nothing but old booths and an a few stools lined up along a counter. One fry cook and two waitress. It's like taking a step into the past.
My heart does this weird race and then sudden stop. Smile pulling at my lips as my eyes go to the door. Not a second later it's pulled open, and she's there. Forty-five days, the longest we've been apart in years. My smile fading slightly as her eyes narrow looking over me.
"She have a dress code for you?"
My smile fades, as she takes a seat rather than waiting for me to stand. "It's good to see you too Bo."
"Is this," Her hand gesturing to me. "Her?"
"Bo."
"Is it?"
"We have…arrangements."
"Like playing dress up?"
"Like I dress closer to how she remembers me…before everything and she doesn't come onto me. I don't scheme against her and doesn't scheme against me. Things like that."
"That's…disturbing on many levels."
"Well," I shrug, kind of rolling my eyes. "My life is complicated."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm surviving."
"The kids?"
"They're…complicated. Sean has kept his distance, his hands are full with…Mila. Michael and Victoria are rebellious, occupying Dani, she doesn't quite trust their turnaround."
"Ethan?"
"I try my best to keep him from her, keep him busy."
"So, she's gotten into his head?" Her jaw clenches, looking out of the window keeping from my stare. "Have you heard from Charlie?"
"Charlotte?" I feel my demeanor change unintentionally, I feel myself sitting up straight and tensing "Personally, no."
"Lauren, what aren't you saying?"
"Charlotte is the least of our worries."
"Lauren, what is it?"
"What I said, she's made her choice. Her actions just enforce that further."
"How about we stop these games, and you tell me what I've missed."
"You've missed a lot, you've been gone a while."
"Lauren."
"A few days ago I received a…present. A body of a boy, young man actually that I knew once. You might remember him, Hunter?"
She shakes her head. "No."
"You met him, twice. Once when he was about eight and again when he was eighteen. Anyway, he was the lead Guardian as New Zion."
"The failed refugee project?"
"He and a team of twenty-two were there, keeping it running on the bare minimum. I had hoped to try to make another push. Neither here nor there now."
"I'm not understanding."
"Charlotte has apparently led her girlfriend and her followers to New Zion and it would be logical to assume they have taken it."
"That's…" Trailing off, her eyes stare down my coffee. "Wait, Hunter is that was the boy in the hotel wasn't he? When I got back from…anyway, Danielle's message in the hotel. He was the one who snuck down to see you…"
"Mm-hm." I nod with a heavy sigh. "How has your…" This time it's me who trails off, taking a pause I glance around at our company. "Journey been?"
"My journey?"
"Your journey, have you…come to terms?"
"I'm," Her eyes following mine, lips fixing to a smirk seemingly realizing there is a reason why everyone here is so uninterested in us. "I'm coping. Doing better."
"I hadn't expected the kids to come around, before you."
"Slow and steady." She shrugs. "There's this stupid old book there at the cabin, a bunch of different pictures of the sky, inspirational quotes on each of them. Pain in the ass, but after a couple of weeks, they start to sick."
"Ah," I can't helping grin, horrible metaphor but definitely sums Skylar up. "I know the book well, has that tendency."
"Kind of grows on you."
"Pretty much." Sighing, she folds her arms. "Have you come to a decision yet?"
"There is no decision Lauren, I won't play this game with her."
"Your family misses you and Dani, well she assures me she is willing to make an effort."
"Make an effort?" She laughs. "Are you drinking the Kool-aide? Never mind, obviously you have."
"Bo," I can't help the way I reach out, waiting for her to take my hand. "I miss you."
"And I miss you Lauren," Hesitantly she takes my hand. "But this…you can't expect me to do this after everything."
"Let me rephrase Bo, I need you."
"I would die for you Lauren, I'd rip out my own heart to save you…but I will not play house with my psychotic child who depending on her mood wants to date you."
"Okay." Taking a deep breath, I force back the feeling of tears. "Then you've made your choice."
"I thought that you-?"
"Bo." I snap, pulling my hand away remember exactly where we are. "I want you with us. All of us."
"I will never be by her side."
"Then you will never be by any of ours."
"Lauren."
Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss…
Standing up, every ounce of control going into to keep from letting my tears fall. She grabs my wrist, attempting to stand, but I shake my head. "Choices are having to be made Bo."
"I've made mine, I hope you haven't really made yours."
"My choice…" I look around our surroundings once more. "Will depend on our children."
"Danielle included?"
"Dani is our child too Bo."
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Victoria's POV
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"Ethan Alreyna!" I snap, walking into the kitchen to find him and Dani cooking. Seriously what the hell is going on? "Sean is waiting on you."
"Sean is a catatonic mess, much like Mila."
"Yeah, thanks for that by the way Danielle."
"He doesn't want me to help." She shrugs, pouring some type of meat from a frying pan onto a plate.
"I wonder why."
"Don't be a bitch."
"Ethan, get your shoes on and go to your brother's house right now."
"You kind of remind me of Bo right now." She spins around, plate in hand. "Not attractive."
"Oh no, I guess I'll be the one sibling you don't wanna fuck." My attention snapping back to Ethan. "Now."
"He has no balls, does he?" She asks once our brother has ran back toward his room. "Like none at all."
"Remember mother is working late today and me and Mikey have school meetings. Please feed Ethan when he gets home."
"Yes ma'am." She lazily salutes me.
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Lauren's POV
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Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss…
I stop at the door, free hand hovering over the lock. Stopping for a minute I try to listen in, but there's nothing. Absolutely nothing. Good. Finally something is working the way it's supposed to. Pressing my hand to the lock, it opens up. Victoria and Michael sitting at the back of the conference table, twisting around in the chairs.
"Children."
"Mother." The two stop, Victoria glaring as Michael sits up straight.
"There's no one coming from the school, I'm sorry for the deception but it was necessary."
"Is there any lie you don't believe is necessary?" She snorts.
"Hm." Forcing a smile I nod coming to the head of the table. "We don't have a lot of time, Dani will grow impatient and I prefer Ethan not to be alone with her for very long. So what will happen in the interest of time is I will speak and then you will speak."
"We actually get to speak for once?" Rolling her eyes, she starts turning the chair halfway.
Nodding, I lay down two sheer cloths on the table. One the navy blue that was to be our new family color and the other the dark, blood red one I had been wearing wrapped around my arm for weeks now. Their eyes fixated on them, confusion just beneath the surface of their glares.
"Something happened," I hesitate not quite sure how to proceed. "There is a test, a loyalty test that has been worked into all of the standardized tests from middle school through college. There's even some in job placements, for the adults."
"Not surprised."
"It was said to have worked perfectly. There was a question as to how several of the people who helped Dani in her quasi coup had scored extremely high. But it was a question on a long list of worries, until a couple of weeks ago. Dani had grown bored and found some of the tests, as a joke she took them not knowing what they were."
"And?"
"She took fourteen test and she scored ninety-seven percent on all but one, in which she scored ninety-nine percent." I nod more to myself than them. "Something has become abundantly clear, the ideal range is not the high nineties as initially thought, but rather the eighties. You wonder why I am so concerned about your brother being around her alone, it's because he scored in that percentile. It is because I am worried that his…intense loyalty to me, he may be swayed to a different perspective."
"Swayed?" Victoria rolls her eyes again, leaning back in her chair.
My hands come to rest on the table, eyes focused on the cloths. "I know the two of you are confused about some things as of late and that you're angry. You have a right to be."
"Mostly angry." He folds his arms across his chest.
"The hardest part of becoming an adult, of being one is accepting that we make mistakes and that we can be wrong. I think that when you're a parent, it becomes even harder. It becomes harder because we are supposed to have all of the answers. We are supposed to know every right and wrong and that isn't always the case."
She snorts a chuckle. "You think?"
"I've made many mistakes in my life, many I've owned and some…" Deep breath drawn as I look my two youngest children over and silently wonder what they would think if they really knew all of my mistakes. "Well, some are harder to admit because I cannot yet accept them. But here and now…I've never been prouder than to say these words; I was wrong."
"Holy shit." He almost laughs. "I never thought I'd hear those words."
"I need you to listen right now." I'm stern, but careful not to snap. "I think we…I had assumed that it would be Charlotte and Ethan next because…I don't know."
She scoffs. "Because they're perfect."
"No." I shake my head. "Because they were naturally responsible. They were naturally well spoken. They naturally enjoyed school and were naturally well mannered. And…they looked like me. It's an awful thing to say. I know that. It's not that you look like Bo, it's that at some point you stopped looking like her, and began looking like Dani. Began exhibiting her early behavior. It worried me, no…it scared me."
"You think we're capable of being what she is?"
My eyes meeting hers, I desperately want to lie. "Absolutely."
"Good to know how you really feel."
"There is a darkness inside of her that lives inside of each of you. It is there because it is inside of me. It is there because in some small ways, it is inside of your mom. It is there because at the end of the day, it is a part of our nature. Succubi and incubi live off of life and whether or not that is controlled is dependent on the person. On the determination and will within themselves. But it all starts with a single thing. A choice."
"A choice?" He sits up straight, hands folding on the table slightly more responsive than his sister. "What like be good or bad?"
"Not necessarily." Sighing, my left hand comes to rest over the red cloth while the right over the blue, pushing them apart. "By now, you know the game. You know the players, the stakes and rules."
"Mother…?"
"You're young, but unfortunately that means nothing now. Me and your mom had a horrible habit of making choices for each other. Sometimes it worked out and other times, we had to pay a price. While your mom isn't here, I am deciding to give you the choice. Sean made his. Charlotte made hers. And Ethan, well Ethan is something different entirely. Now it's your turn."
"What are you asking of us?" He asks, looking to his sister.
"At the moment, I'm asking you to listen. Really, really listen to what I'm about to say. There's downsides to both. Prices you have to be willing to pay either way. Sacrifices you have to be willing to make. But…I will make the choice as simple as possible."
"Shh." She hushes her broth who started to speak.
Pushing forward the red cloth, my eyes shifting between them. "Red…we move forward in this life. What's become of it. I can keep Dani under control, for the most part. We adopt a new way of life. Bo, Kenzi they will eventually fall into line if this is what you choose. I know this because her family is everything and if this is where all of us are then…" Swallowing the lump in my throat, I push forward the other cloth. "Blue…you take your final step from innocence. Because if this is your choice, understand that you will not be the same when it's over. If you survive. Blue…we do what's necessary…whatever is necessary to buy Bo enough time. Blue…means you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself, each other and me."
"W-when do you need a decision?"
"Now."
"Now?" She snorts a chuckle. "Seriously?"
"There are things in motion already, things I cannot stop. All I can do now is participate, but in which way depends on you."
"So you don't care, one way or another?"
"I'm tired." I admit. "I am exhausted, I was exhausted before all of this. I carry a weight that I pray neither of you will ever have to. I carry things that…I'm tired. And honestly, I don't know if there is victory to be had here, either way. But I do know that I want this choice to be yours. I want you to decide how this proceeds."
"What would you need from me?" He asks, eyes shifting between the two cloths.
"I need you to go to Asia. Our people are growing uneasy not hearing or seeing any of us. I need you to go and be what you're destined to be."
"Away from…?" His eyes widen looking between the two of us. "What?"
"I need you to go and hold a press conference, and take the first step for our people into this new age, whatever it may be that you choose."
"Am I supposed to lie to them? Say everything is fine?"
"What you say Michael, is entirely up to you."
"And me?"
"I think you know."
Her eyebrow raises, almost smirking as if I've finally lost my mind. "How would I know?"
"Because I've seen something within you awaken that makes me prouder than I ever thought possible. I've seen true greatness in you Victoria, a greatness that I could lead for another century and never obtain. None of this is fair. None of this is right. I know that."
"Then how can you ask us to choose?" He snaps, jumping up.
"Because I am tired of taking choices away from you."
"What's to keep me from going and telling them the truth?"
"Mikey, sit down."
"No, for real Ria. She's lied over and over again! We aren't even eighteen! And now we have to decide the fate of our people? Fuck that."
"And if I decide I want this life?" She asks casually, eyeing the red cloth. "If I want to learn from Dani? Improve this life?"
Sharp pain ripping through my heart, but none the less I nod. "It's your choice."
"And Ethan?"
"You're considering this bullshit?"
"He cannot be a part of this."
"Hello." He waves his hand, immaturely. "I'm right here. I'm speaking."
"Okay." She says simply, nodding for her brother to sit. "Okay."
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Victoria's POV
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"Jesus!" I jump, turning my head to find Dani had managed to sneak beside me. "Can I help you?"
"Why is our brother leaving?"
"Some PR bullshit. I don't know."
"Victoria." She trails off, hand resting on my thigh just above my knee. "Victoria, think very carefully." Her grip tightening as she leans in, chin on my shoulder. "Why is our brother leaving?"
Turning my face, forcing her to pull back ever so slightly. "Some. PR. Bullshit. Sean can't go. Ethan would fold like a cheap folding chair. Mom is off in the woods somewhere. Charlie is off killing our kind. That leaves me and Mikey."
"Why not you?"
"I prefer pussy over cameras, our brother not so much."
Her free hand cupping my cheek as I watch her eyes turn black. "Lie to me again and I'll rip your heart from your chest and shove it down your throat."
Smirking, I tilt my head forward. "Fine, I may prefer cameras over pussy too…depends if I'm having a good hair day or not."
For a moment there is nothing except silence. And then this smirk comes over her lips as her eyes transition back to normal and she lets out this laugh. Her arm wrapping around my shoulders, pulling me in close as she waves to a waitress to bring us another bottle. Silence fading away as I begin to hear the music again. Strobe lights flashing everywhere. I had actually forgot where I was. I want to be that intimidating one day. Laughing, I take the bottle from the waitress, pulling the cork out with my teeth before chugging it down. Dani laughing the whole time as if this was the most entertaining thing she had ever experienced in her life.
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Lauren's POV
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"Sky, did you get the…" She trails off, turning to face the door where I find myself lingering. "Lauren."
"Sky?" I nod, sort of grinning. "Friendly now, hm?"
"What can I say, she beat me into submission." Shrugging, she tosses the blanket she had been folding onto the couch. "Does your master know you're here?"
"Bo, please."
"Bo please?" She snorts, rolling her eyes. "Look at you Lauren, playing dress up for her? What else are you playing?"
"Do be so petulant."
"Wow, been a while since I heard that one."
"I don't have a lot of time."
"Let her come."
"You don't want that, not yet."
"I don't?"
"No, you don't and you know that. You aren't ready, and neither are you're new friends."
"What does that mean Lauren?"
"It means there are things that we have to make peace with before…whatever happens, happens."
"What does that mean?" She asks again, this time more sternly, eyes moving over my face as if she can guess the meaning.
"Skylar and Ty have made it clear, that if this goes one particular way, they will," Hesitating, I finally step in fully, shutting the door behind myself. "Abdicate."
"Abdicate?"
"Yes." I nod, her eyes narrowing. "They will not serve under Dani."
"I don't blame them but what does…" She trails off, head tilting slightly to the right as her features scrunch up. "By abdicate you mean die."
"I mean they won't fight, but they'll take the honorable death, yes."
"There's honor in not fighting?"
"Sometimes."
"Yeah, okay." Snorting, she rolls her eyes again. Must have picked that up from Skylar. "So what, if it comes to it they'll just…fall on their swords?"
"Technically, yes. They will not raise a hand against me."
"It wouldn't be against you."
"If this goes one way, then yes they would be."
"Why do you keep saying that? Goes one way? What does that mean?"
"I'm tried Bo."
"Yeah, welcome to the club. I spend my days getting beat the shit out of by Barbie and Ken and my nights taking care of Kenz, I know tired."
"No Bo, I'm tired." Sighing to myself, understanding full and well how petulant my own words sound, I can't help the weight they hold. "I'm tired."
"We're all tired."
"Do you know they keep Mila chained up now? She's…human souls aren't supposed to go to…where Dani took her. She isn't well. Sean, he's a shadow of himself. Charlotte is off building an army. Ethan, I watch him day in and day out grow closer to Dani's way of thinking. And day in and day out I watch my people, the ones left within my little quarantine grow skeptical of the Queen who hides in the shadows." I take two steps forward, eyes falling to the arm of the horribly upholstered couch. "I grow tired of my own reflection Bo. One way or another, this must end."
"The children, we'll get them back on track. That's our job Lauren. And as to your precious people, they can deal."
"No, they can't Bo. You still after all this time don't get it."
"No, I really don't. Your dedication to them above all else. Always."
"I didn't want this…"
"Please spare me the 'I didn't wanna be a power queen' deal again. I'm too tired to pretend I believe it and too upset to pretend you're the victim. If you don't want it, then abdicate the throne, give it up."
"To who?!" I snap, eyes widening. "To who Bo? Even if I could have given it up without forfeiting my life, who have you seen with our strength to keep the nations together? Because anyone that I've ever seen with that strength has been the bad guys. And I don't know if I can that we're…that I am the good guy in this scenario, but not like them. Sasha? Agathon? My mother at the end? Your father? Dani? Akuma?"
"Then let them split Lauren, the world functioned just fine as several nations before, it will again."
"To welcome war? To welcome everything that follows a divided nation? To welcome the power grab that would follow? You are an amazing leader Bo, you always have been but you've never been able to understand the mentality that it takes to be queen…and that's okay. Because there is one thing that I am good at and this is it."
"Geez, thanks." Snorting she waves me off, taking a seat on the couch.
"Do you know why it was so important for me to instill religion within our children?"
"To make Travino happy?" She mumbles, elbows pressing into her knees as her hands over her face.
"The same reason that when we began rebuilding after the fall I made sure things like Catholicism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism and several others made it through. Because they need something to believe in other than us. Other than me. The line between devotion and worship is not as bold as one may believe. You see Iel and Koari as just foes in a long line, but what I see is devotion turned to worship. You see Dani as another foe, but her albeit twisted notion of devotion turned to worship."
"It's different."
"No Bo, it isn't. It was important to set up local governments and ambassadors to give the people the idea that not everything in their life is ruled by me. They know it is. They know that no law passes without me, but they welcome it. Why? Because sometimes the idea of freedom is the most important thing to hold onto." Letting her hands fall to her sides, she looks up at me as I take two steps closer. "When assuring that racism would not live through the fall, I made sure to keep cultures. I made sure to keep museums and that schools would incorporate them equally, why? Because culture makes us who we are. You can have nationalism in its truest and still hold onto what makes your history unique."
"Lauren…"
"You think I sit up in my office making these decision because I don't want to be home? Because I enjoy growing further from you and our life? Because I enjoy building my people and their city like if they were legos? These are the things I have to think about over and over again Bo. These are the decisions I have to antagonize with. I have to lay awake at night wondering should I have left this culture out because well it led to genocide? Or should I have not left this one out that led to racism, but it was a rich culture…before? Did I miss a religion? Did I keep the wrong one? Am I making too many decisions or not enough?"
"I get it."
"Do you? Because everything I have done has been for the greater good. I worry every day about these things, about making one wrong step and it's exhausting. Even now, you think that me worrying about their view is…narcissistic, but devotion while can turn to worship can also turn to something else. It can turn hate. Then what Bo? If one group rebels, then what? And the next one that follows?"
"I…" She trails off, her head turning to me as she reaches out waiting for me to take her hand. "I'm sorry. You're right, I'm not made to be queen Lauren, as much as we try, I'm not. I'm a leader and I'm a warrior. If there's anything these past few months has made clear, it's that. And I think that maybe," She stands up, closing the distance between us as she takes my reluctant hand. "That's our disconnect. I think maybe it's always been because my love," She smiles sadly as she speaks, looking down at our hands. "You were born to rule, to be a queen and I was born to fight, to be a warrior."
"A champion." Soft smile pulling at my lips, tears slipping down my cheeks. "My champion."
"Of course."
"Always and forever, right?"
"And even after." She sniffles slightly, blinking back her own tears a single stray one falls. "But I need you to understand, one way or another I will fight."
"I know." I nod, sniffling myself.
"Now I know my queen is, is battling a decision. But I need to know, where my wife stands?"
"Behind you, as always my love."
"Beside me." She almost snaps, her other hand taking mine. "Always beside me Lauren."
"Our children are making a choice, or maybe they have already. I told them I didn't want to know, that when tomorrow morning came, I would."
"What? Lauren, what did you do?"
"I am learning to abdicate, one way…" My eyes meeting hers. "Or another."
"What are you saying?"
"You big lug," Kenzi sort of chuckles, holding onto the wall as she carefully makes her way down the stairs. "Our queen won't be fighting with us this time." Reaching the bottom of the stairs Bo looks form her sister to me. "Your wife will be."
"Michael will be in Asia by tomorrow, if he isn't already. The mystics were opening a gateway. When he gets up to speak to our people, a decision will have been made. A path will have been chosen. There are but a few ways this can go, but Kenzi is right regardless how this proceeds it will be as your wife and their mother. There are things that must be done, that they cannot bare…nor you. And there is something that I cannot do, that you must…if it comes to that."
"Danielle still doesn't die in every scenario for you, does she?" She sighs, pulling her hands away.
"No." I shake my head, heavily admitting what she…what they already know. "But she only lives in one, if that means anything to you."
"Oh well." Kenzi lets out after a solid minute of silence, our attention shifting to her as she fiddles with the bottles on the liquor table. "I was getting a little worried I was gonna go without one last hurrah." Like the expert she is, she makes her way to us, three full shot glasses in hand. One to me, one to Bo and the third for herself. Her eyes moving from Bo's to mine and back. "Like I told you Bo-Bo," She raises her glass. "To the bottom."
.
Victoria's POV
.
There are always consequences…
The heavy mixed base of the song attempting to drown out those words…along with all the other bullshit my mother said. I just need a minute. I just need a fucking minute to disconnect. And this is that minute. Strong, unlimited alcohol. Sexy men. Sexy women. All which are pulsating waves of sexual desire. It's a perfect distraction.
So why am I not fucking distracted?
Stopping in the middle of the dance floor, I pause and wait. Wait for something to take over me.
Background Music:
'Cause you hold me like a woman
In a way I've never felt before
And it makes me wanna hold on
And it makes me wanna be all yours
.
"Now I'm out and wearing something low-cut. 'Bout to get attention from a grown up." I sing the lyrics, bouncing around letting the music take over me. It's loud enough to cause this annoying ass ringing in my ears, but the base, the base helps me relax in the weirdest way. I just need a damn minute and I am gonna get it one way or another.
The multi-colored strobe lights on the other hand not so much. Closing my eyes I welcome it all in. Bouncing around aimlessly, I bump into just about every body near me, nearly everyone getting handsy but I don't really feel it now. All I feel is the screaming hum of their aura.
Background Music:
Guys my age don't know how to treat me
Don't know how to treat me, don't know how to treat me
Guys my age don't know how to touch me
Don't know how to love me good
.
One thing I do feel is her eyes on me…or more precisely…her.
I feel her all around me, I had left her upstairs on the landing, but now she feels closer and everywhere. Maybe I just can't focus with everyone around me. Michael kept calling me crazy, kept saying I didn't know what I was talking about. I just don't think he was disciplined enough yet. I've been able to feel them all for a while now, whenever they were near. Mikey, our parents, Sean and Ethan, and now even Little Miss. Psycho.
Truth is, it's as frightening as it is exhilarating. There's this rush that comes of power I get near her. Maybe it's her…maybe she forces something out inside of myself. I don't know. I don't even know if it's right or wrong to enjoy it, but to be fair…I'm not sure about a lot of things anymore.
Background Music:
Guys my age don't know how to treat me
Don't know how to treat me, don't know how to treat me
Guys my age don't know how to touch me
Don't know how to love me good
.
Her hands wrap around my waist, spinning me around within her embrace. My eyes flying open, finding hers darkening. "You don't look okay."
Smirking, my arms draping around her shoulders. She looks curious now, curious and intrigued as I lean in, lips hovering over her ear. "You aren't our parents."
"I promised mother you would be okay."
"I never pictured you for uptight."
Tilting her head back, eyes holding mine she smirks with a nod. "Let me show you some real fun."
She moves passed me, my hands grabbing her hips pulling her back against me. Lips pressed to her ear. "Whatever game you have in mind, incest isn't my thing."
"Says the girl who keeps touching me." She leans back against me, laughing.
"I want you to know I'm not afraid." She turns within my embrace. "You get close and touch and say inappropriate things because it makes people uneasy. I don't care how close you get or how much you touch me. It doesn't mean a thing."
"Then tonight will be fun."
.
Lauren's POV
.
"How long do you have?" She asks, face resting against the top of my head as her arms keep a firm hold on my body. My head pressed to her chest, listening to the familiar sound of her heart.
"Not long now."
"We always did live a life of moments."
"Some longer than others." Half smile curving my lips, my hand gently holding her arm, thumb idly brushing over her skin. "No matter what happens my love, I never regretted any of it."
"Lauren," My name a call, but I don't look up. "Don't talk like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're preparing not to make it through this."
"It's a possibility."
"It's not, not for me." She pulls back slightly, body tensing. "I will die before I let anything happen to you."
"You don't get it Bo." With a sigh I force myself to move, sitting up half way, turning to her the best I can. "I know you'd die for me and I know you'd live for me. I've witnessed both, more than once. More than I deserve."
"Then what's changed?"
"I want you…to die with me."
"W-what?" Her eyes widen slightly.
"That didn't sound…it sounded better in my head." Shaking my head at myself, I almost laugh. "I need you to accept that we may die together, and it's okay. I've watched you fight, trying to save me and it's almost cost you your life so many times over."
"And you've also been the reason I've made it through when there was no hope."
"I know." I nod, hand coming to rest over her heart. "I am prepared to die with you my love, because I don't want to live without you. I can't live without you, in more ways than one."
"Great, because I don't plan on dying. But if one of us is going, it's me. It will always be me." Her hand cups my cheek. "Always."
"You're not understanding." I whisper through tears, fingertips softly tapping her heart. "It's okay." Smiling softly, I nod again, resting my head back on her chest, needing just another minute.
She isn't quite sure of my words, but she won't ask. Rather she just holds me close, letting me silently cry against her chest…letting me break like I didn't know I could anymore.
.
Victoria's POV
.
You think we're capable of being what she is…Absolutely…
The sound of a scream pulls me toward a bliss laced consciousness. Unlike any time before I find it hard to get my barring. My entire body an unusual mixture of sore and buzzing. Sooo much buzzing. I had done a shitload of experimenting since coming into my nature, but this…as dangerous as it is has opened my eyes to a whole new world.
Tingling spreading through my body, head staring to clear I glance to my right at the two girls sprawled out over the bed beside me. My heart suddenly racing as remaining traces of sleep vanish. Their bodies completely still. Mind racing, I can't calm enough to listen for a heartbeat. My eyes falling onto their chests. Sigh of relief coming as I see their chests faintly rise and fall.
Thank God.
Sense of relief vanishing as I remember what had woken me. Bolting upright, eyes moving over the naked bodies on the floor to Dani, kneeling down over another young girl, her mouth buried deep in her neck. Blood dripping down the girl's chest. I have to stop myself form screaming out, thirteen bodies…thirteen faint heartbeats.
"Mother said no killing." My words ignored. "You agreed."
She doesn't pull back right away. But something must click because I still hear a heartbeat from her current meal. "Fine!" She yells, jumping up. "You need to live a little."
"I am." One hand waving to our escaped, the other holding the sheet up to my body.
"Nooo!" She laughs at me, blood falling from her lips. It's repulsive and disgusting, but I can't help that part of myself that's…intrigued. Intrigued by the power. Intrigued by the things she can do. By the strength. Even if mother was coming clean, this right here…she'd never show me. "You're still clinging to rules."
"I told you, I won't kill."
"Yes, yes." She waves me off, walking over to the bed. Without hesitation she grabs my arm, pulling me up. "You want to know how I do it?" She laughs, she must have caught me staring too long. Her free hand pulls the sheet from my body, leaving us both standing here naked. Heart racing. I had never been shy, can't even remember the amount of times I walked around naked in front of Ethan and Mikey, hell even Sean and Charlie. Never batted an eye, they were family, but now with her…something is different. Something makes this uncomfortable. "Let…go."
"I could say the same thing." My eyes looking at her hold on me, slightly trying to jerk away from her.
"You have to let go and let nature take its course. You have to let it all in little sister." She leans in slightly, my heart painfully racing beneath my chest but I refuse to show her fear. "Focus on all the anger and all that hate within yourself. Hold onto it. And then focus on all that desire, the dark little thoughts you keep to yourself. Hold onto it. And when you have them both…give in."
Her words pulling me into a trance, my eyes staring into hers as I feel my control wavering. As much as I hate to admit it, there's a part of me contemplating her words. A natural allure to it all whispering in my ear tempting me to push the boundaries just a little further.
It would be so easy…so easy to choose red…choose this life.
We're more than halfway there aren't we? And if my parents are to believed, this lives in all of us…it's not a leap to take but rather just a step. A step into darkness and maybe it'll be better…right?
"You don't want to teach me Dani."
"Of course I do." Her eyes transition to pure blackness, lips curving to a smirk letting me see her descended canines. "I want to show you want you can be."
"No…" Shaking my head, eyes running over every feature of her face. "You don't."
"Pain and pleasure," Her hands come to grip my sides, thumbs brushing over my skin. "It's all one thing. Embrace both Ria, embrace them like you're meant to. You, me, Mikey and mother…the things we could do."
Eyes falling to her collarbone, I find myself smirking. "Mother used to say something," My hands come to rest on her wrists momentarily before slowly running my hands up her arms, over her shoulders stopping at her neck. My own eyes transitioning, earning a smile form her. "We are all the architect of our own demise." Thumbs brushing over her jawline. Tempting my luck one more time I start to pull chi from her only to have her grab my jaw, growling. But I don't pull away, rather I keep her gaze. "Still wanna teach me?"
.
Lauren's POV
.
"I don't like this plan." She whispers, holding my hand as we walk back toward my car. "It's insane."
"No more than any of our other ones."
"That's not reassuring."
"We've always won."
"Not without sacrifice."
"My love, there is but two options."
"I know, I know." She nods with a sigh as we come to a stop. "I hate this."
"I do too."
"I know." Smiling softly, she pins me between herself and the trunk of my car. "I've said a lot of things, mostly in anger and fear. Some in pain. But I know," Her free hand cupping my cheek. "I know you don't want any of this."
"Do you?" I hear my voice break, shaking my head I try to look away only to have her guide my face back toward her. "I'm just so tired baby…I just…"
"Shh." Leaning in she presses her lips to mine, stealing a gentle kiss. "Shh." Her arms wrap around me, keeping me close. "No matter what, we'll be together."
"Forever." I whisper against her shoulder, holding onto her for dear life, needing just one more moment. Just one more and I'll be okay.
Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve…