That night in the casino hotel rooms, Level 6 Scientist's POV:
I used to enjoy ridiculing believers in my earlier scientific careers, it kept me calm and pleased. Though in some senses, religion is so much like science, their concepts, to explain the world and ourselves. Why do they contradict each other so much? Why has there been so much conflict between religion and science? No, right now I'm not mocking believers. I Iike to view their faith in a different perspective. There are so many unanswered questions in the realm of science, so much debate, everything has to have evidence. People always competing,publishing new studies or theorizing. Unlike faith, science is unpredictable. It causes stress, watching religion play its role sure is calming and therapeutic to some degrees. It all added up to my curiosity. Still, I am a scientist after all, so why do I have the Book of Genesis in my hands right now? I flipped through the pages in search of an answer but knowing I would have none. But I have respect. Christians' missions are to be of service towards the greater causes of humanity, for the Savior Jesus Christ had sacrificed himself to achieve that, dying for our sins. "How stupid." I thought to myself. No half of the population are Christians, not half of the population recognizes him as our savior. He had died in vain watching people still committing sins. That saddened me, when it applies to the real world. Not that I'm a believer, but with so much shit going on, everyone still expects innocent Christians to clean up their mess. I wonder if my studies and dedications only creates more conflict, more trouble for the altruistic to clean up, or actually improves humanity and solves problems. Did God really create us in his own image? Yes, a nice attempt cloning himself. Picture this, the cloning technologies were not to a level of perfection, Misaka Mikoto is the God, or Goddess, I tried to clone her, were the clones as strong as the Original? They are not, but they are her disciples.
I went to the bathroom to fill the tub. I opened up Genesis and got an answer. Tree of knowledge or tree of life. Choose knowledge, you surely die. Choose life, you live forever in the garden, retarded. It's a trade off, all creatures evolved in this concept. Throwing away old traits for newer, better traits. Espers are like that, they are smart, lightning fast calculation, deflecting vector of machine gun bullets. Inept in other areas, unstable brain. Not even mentioning that they don't live long. Metabolism increases, brain neurons so complexed to use the Esper particle fields, processes going so fast it's like they are rushing toward their grave. All the genes and ingredients for a detrimental Esper ability are present, Espers are not much different anatomically, it's about turning off a switch in the body, and turning on one in the brain. As I said, science and religion are so similar. The thought evoked my past stories. My focus on Esper powers and genetics, alteration or cloning. I am a monster am I? Why did I choose to join John's crew? It might seem like a attempt to redeem myself, but nothing will wash away my sins. God hates me. So why did he let me live on? Why does an scientific atheist even talk about God? For a split second I thought about drowning myself. The water is one third of the way full.
No, I accept myself. I was tearing up. I accept my mistakes. I call bullshit on claiming me as disloyal. Life changes, nothing is eternal according to Buddhist views. I have no sentiment for life back then, for I am a committed scientist. I only think about right now, not a year ago. My goals are compatible with John, a living example of Level 6 success, success in achieving new heights, success in my commitment. No one except for him recognized my work. I'm just determining who is my friend. Sure, towards the followers of Jesus, I might be trying to seek salvation. What would wash away my sins, I'm not certain. I don't care.
As I mentioned about the trade off earlier, I'm smart, my life is like a firework instead of a slow burning candle. I would die early just like other Espers, but we still have no regrets. I would only continue what I'm doing, for I am in better conditions. I unclogged the tub drain, and walked down to the casino to have a few plays. As I walked to the elevator, I thought about the words I want written along with my will and testament: "I've never asked for forgiveness. People like us die early. But we would die like gods, like Jesus himself, at the very least knowing good and evil. As I said, all of us has no regrets, we've already experienced the darkest and brightest of all things humanity had to offer. Maybe death can free me of my sins, but I would not die in my own hands. I owe God nothing."