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Lauren's POV

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Hesitation is for the weak my mother once said, well Stephanie once said. My mother, Reyna actually said hesitation wasn't a sign of weakness but rather the sign of a logical mind. I don't know if she meant that or it was just something a mother said to their over-analytical child. I suppose it doesn't really matter. It's ironic in striving to be like Reyna I've shown many traits of Stephanie and in the moments I've needed Stephanie's utter lack of heart I find myself wavering, comforted by words of Reyna.

I wonder if this is what it's like in some form for Dani. I wonder if in moments of doubt or hesitation she finds comfort in some words uttered by Bo or myself, context misconstrued to fit her narrative. Or maybe she doesn't mean to twist them, maybe that is just how she hears them. Maybe there really was nothing I ever could have done to stop this.

My fingertips pressed against the frosted class, a particular chill in the air tonight.

"You've grown distant mother." Her voice calls to me from the couch.

There is irony to be found there. "I've always been distant, hence your resentment."

"Cute."

"Thank you."

"Where is your mind?" Silence. "On her?"

"Careful Dani, you boarder sounding like a jealous lover."

"I am jealous." She admits flatly. "I am always jealous. It's a personality flaw."

"Where was this honesty before?" I waver into temptation to turn to her only to be caught by my own reflection in the glass.

"It's always been here mother, you just weren't listening."

"I've always listened to you."

"Then you weren't paying attention."

"Perhaps." Heavy sigh mirroring the feeling in my chest, I turn to find her just sitting there staring at me like a dog waiting for some type of affirmation. "Do you think if I would have paid you more attention things would have been different?"

"I think life would be different."

"Peculiar answer."

"Peculiar question." She shifts, but isn't uncomfortable. "Mother."

"Yes?"

"Knowing what you know now, would you have killed me?"

"Which time?" I almost laugh, earning a small smile form her.

"In the womb."

"No."

"So certain."

"Absolute. I believe in choice, I don't believe in abortion."

She laughs, arms folding as she leans back into the couch. "Fine. After birth?"

"Dani."

"Early years?"

"Stop this."

"Teens?"

"Enough."

"I'm just curious mother."

"I did kill you Dani, it just didn't stick." My words halting any hit of amusement. "Even knowing everything I know now, no…I would not be able to kill you other than the way in which I did. I would kill Koari though, before she got her claws into you."

"She isn't the reason I'm me."

"No, but she made sure that there was no coming back."

"You think there was a time when I could?"

"Yes."

"When do you think there stopped being a time when I could come back?"

"When," I find my voice lost as I attempt to answer the question. "When I joined you in darkness. I think it gave you a taste of something absolute and to know anything absolute…it's consuming."

"Fair enough." She shrugs, leaning back into the couch once again as she unmutes the television and pretends she isn't thinking about my words.

Just as well, I'm pretending the same.

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Victoria's POV

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My hands grip the top of the pew, eyes staring up at the symbol Trivi loved so much. I find no comfort in it…in this place. What I do find comfort in is this place in the sense that I feel him. I feel Trivi all around here. Dozens of memories playing out like shadows in the dark. To the right me and Mikey running through the pews as he fusses at us. In the middle we take our communion with him smiling like a proud papa. To the left I sit crying in his arms because I don't fit in. Behind myself, six pews back I sit next to mom taking a break from helping him clean this place up for the bicentennial.

So many memories…so much lost.

Can't see it now, but behind the wall and past the sacristy an open area where he would give us Catholicism lessons during fencing lessons because you know he was just that kinda weird cool. What's the English word for that…eccentric? Yeah, think that's it.

I nod, finding myself smiling at the thought.

Really, I don't know what I believe anymore. I've always wavered back and forth and now after all the bullshit…I really can't tell you. But I believed in…no I believe in Trivi. I believe in him so maybe that's enough. Maybe that's enough for this moment. Because truth is, I really need some damn help right now.

"Trivi, if you are up there watching and going what the hell has happened down there without me…watch over my family tonight. Well except for Dani's psycho ass, send that bitch straight to hell." I laugh, stopping short. "Sorry, sorry. Swearing I know. If I make it outta this I'll say a Hail Mary. Cool?" I look up as if I expect to see him staring down at me. "I don't know what I believe, but if it's what you taught me then I'm asking for your intercession tonight to put in a word with the big guy, cause…I'm really scared."

Terrified actually.

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Lauren's POV

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"Where are you going?" She asks from the hallway, ever so attentive as I pull my jacket from the hanger by the elevator. "Mother?"

"I'm restless."

She demands. "Where?"

"To check on the progress of something."

"I will come."

"No." …..please don't….

"Yes."

"Danielle, I do not wish for you to come."

"And I do not care."

"I'm just going to inspect the construction of the new medical building."

"That isn't necessary, especially at this hour."

"I wish for space Danielle, if you cannot tell."

"Either we go together or not at all."

"Is this our future Danielle? An eternity of imprisonment…for us both?"

"What is an eternity together if not some form of imprisonment?"

"Danielle…don't come."

"We go together or not at all….what's it going to be?"

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Victoria's POV

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"Why'd you pick this place?" Ethan asks as I jog down the steps to meet him.

"Tivi."

"Yeah." He just nods, burring his hands in his jacket pockets. Every step feeling like a death march, which I guess in a way it is. Every word he says about how lonely it is and how empty the streets are doing nothing to help the terrifying feeling growing with every step.

"Did you do your part?"

"Yeah." He nods. "Sean, he doesn't care."

"I know."

"How do you know?"

"Because he loves her the way mom loves mother."

"Mom wouldn't keep mother locked up in the basement especially if it wasn't even her."

"It's still her body."

"Still…"

"Sean isn't as strong as mom. No one is."

"Not even mother?" He looks at me curious.

"No, not even mother."

I wait for him to mention treason but he just nods. "Do you think we'll die tonight?"

My body stops without warning, my hand grabbing him by the wrist stopping him. "Ethan…" He looks at me and for some reason he looks like a little kid. "I promise you, I will protect you."

"I'm the big brother here."

"I know."

"Ria…whatever happens tonight…if I don't…"

"You will."

"But if I don't….no matter what…don't tell them I died a coward."

My lips part to say something smartass but it's in this moment I realize something I don't think I got before…he's afraid not of the situation but of himself.

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Lauren's POV

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"Is this what you needed to see?" She condescends me, looking over the step above rubble.

"I told you what I needed was space."

"Trust is earned mother."

"The same could be said to you."

"There's irony to be found here." She laughs, looking around as if trying to imagine this place as more than beams and construction supplies. "It'll be nice."

"It will."

"Someone died here."

"What?" My eyebrow raising, arms folding over my chest as I study her.

"I can feel the death."

"Accident perhaps."

"No."

"Not every death has to be murder."

"Not every one, no. But this one yes." She nods, almost smirking now. "After everything you still side on the side of optimism."

"Not always, but I try…yes."

"Always trying to see the good." Idly she starts to pace, she's caught scent of something she doesn't quite know. "Doesn't it ever bore you?"

"Yes."

A laugh escapes her. "At least you can admit it."

"You shouldn't have followed me Dani."

"And what, miss out on all of this?"

"Forgiveness Dani…it's…"

"You know what I hate?" She snaps, coming to a sudden stop. "I absolutely hate villains with sob stories."

"I'm sorry?"

"It just infuriates the shit out of me mother. Villains with soft sides made out to be relatable." She makes this disgusted face and shrugs. "They try to give them this backstory and turn things around…try to excuse their actions. Excuse their pleasures. Make them redeemable. It's pathetic really."

"Is it?"

"Let me tell you something mother," Tone changes just as quickly as I find her cross the distance between us. Standing toe to toe neither of us blink to the other's surprise. "I went to hell…I paid for my sins…and you know what…I am still not sorry…" Her jaw clenched, it must hurt to get every single word out. The faintest of tears in her eyes as they glass over. She mustn't realize. "I am not sorry."

"I know you're lying Danielle."

"I'm not. I don't regret a thing. Not a one. Not a throat I slit. Not a heart I ripped out. Not a single bit. I don't."

"All these years I've antagonized repetitively until I drove myself insane attempting to understand you. To understand myself in relation to you. To understand any of. To accept any of it."

"Poor mother, always the hard life." She snorts, eyes still glassy. I don't believe she even realizes anymore.

"These last years all I've wanted to do is accept that you're evil. Accept that I gave birth to this…absolute evil. That a part of me was carrying that and I passed it on. If I could just accept that then it would be over and I would know some peace. I've utter the words aloud and to myself until I nearly believe them…but never truly could I accept them. Finally I know why." Hesitantly I reach out, cupping her cheek. "You're sick Dani."

"You're wrong."

"Evil doesn't feel."

"I am evil." She snaps, slapping my hand away.

"You became the thing the darkness fears. The story whispered on rainy nights. You struck fear into the hearts of everyone, myself included not because of your actions but because you were chaos for the sake of chaos. You were death for the sake of death. Pleasure in it all for the sake of pleasure. An enigma that couldn't be understood. You became evil personified."

"I. Am."

"The truth is we just didn't understand…you're sick."

"I'm not sick!"

"You hate sympathetic villains Dani because you are one. We hate most what mirrors ourselves."

"Tell me mother, what is it you hate about yourself?"

"That I bare the conviction to do what's necessary but lack the strength to carry it out myself."

"What the hell does that shit mean?" She snorts a laugh, she's so confused. "What does that mean?" Her voice raises as I turn away from her, starting toward the stairwell. "What? Isn't this where you try and save me now? Offer me some forgiveness?"

"No." I stop just short of the stairs, but I don't turn around. I can't now. "I offer no salvation Danielle, because I can offer you no forgiveness."

"Mother…mother….MOTHER….MOTHER!"

Her calls heard down the stairwell, drowning out the sound of my heels on the metal. Her calls drowning out the whispered goodbye. They drown out the weird noise that escapes me as I push back the feeling of tears. They drown out the sound of my heart pounding through my chest. They drown out the million thoughts screaming in my mind. Her calls for me drown out everything.

Everything except my conviction.