Chapter 2
Delicate
Delicate by Taylor Swift
This ain't for the best / My reputation's never been worse, so / You must like me for me / We can't make / Any promises now, can we, babe? / But you can make me a drink
Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? / Phone lights up my nightstand in the black / Come here, you can meet me in the back / Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you / Oh damn, never seen that color blue / Just think of the fun things we could do / 'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best / My reputation's never been worse, so / You must like me for me / Yeah, I want you / We can't make / Any promises now, can we, babe? / But you can make me a drink
Is it cool that I said all that? / Is it chill that you're in my head? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Is it cool that I said all that / Is it too soon to do this yet? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? / Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? / Delicate
Third floor on the West Side, me and you / Handsome, you're a mansion with a view / Do the girls back home touch you like I do? / Long night, with your hands up in my hair / Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs / Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share / 'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best / My reputation's never been worse, so / You must like me for me / Yeah, I want you / We can't make / Any promises now, can we, babe? / But you can make me a drink
Is it cool that I said all that? / Is it chill that you're in my head? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Is it cool that I said all that / Is it too soon to do this yet? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? / Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? / Delicate
Sometimes I wonder when you sleep / Are you ever dreaming of me? / Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I pretend you're mine, all the damn time / 'Cause I like you
Is it cool that I said all that? / Is it chill that you're in my head? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Yeah, I want you / Is it cool that I said all that / Is it too soon to do this yet? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / 'Cause I like you / Is it cool that I said all that? / Is it chill that you're in my head? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Yeah, I want you / Is it cool that I said all that / Is it too soon to do this yet? / 'Cause I know that it's delicate / Delicate
Jon - January 2016
A month and a half later, Jon and Robb made their way from the San Diego airport to the Stark family's vacation house in La Jolla. It's where they would be staying for the next couple months as he and Robb worked with the San Diego branch of Winterfell, Inc. It was winter now and Jon felt like it was wrong to be down in sunny Southern California for it instead of up in chilly Washington.
He had been relieved when Sansa left Seattle to go back to her apartment in San Diego. Not that he didn't want to see her. He definitely wanted to see her, but that was the problem. He kept feeling ashamed for it, always thinking of the Stark family and all that Ned and Cat did for him since his parents passed. He didn't want to disrespect them, he knew Sansa deserved to be with a higher class man. And he didn't want to feel like he was betraying Robb by thinking of his little sister in a sexual way. When she left Washington, it was a lot easier for Jon to go about his way without her invading his mind too often.
But now he would be in close proximity with her again. It made him worry but he couldn't help feeling somewhat excited about it.
Sansa
She prepared the house for her brother and Jon's arrival. The house hadn't been stayed in for a while so she wanted to make it more homey by replacing bedding and buying groceries, little touches here and there. She didn't want to admit to herself that she was eager to see Jon again. She was still trying to live by her own code of not seeing anyone for her own well being. But when she heard the car pull up in the driveway, she felt butterflies in her stomach.
Sansa - February 2016
After a few weeks, Sansa realized she was spending more and more time at the La Jolla house. She had even started to stay overnight there more and more. She liked being around him. But she kept telling herself over and over that the nervous little twist she felt in her belly was just shyness due to her never really having spent time with him in the past. Her mind knew it was a lie, but she still insisted it was only that.
On that Sunday, the boys decided to have a Super Bowl party. Margaery had arrived in town to stay with Robb for the rest of the time they were there and Robb and Jon's old friend Theon had come down for a visit. They invited some of their friends from the office and Sansa had a couple of her San Diego friends come too. After she finished putting out all the food and set up the bar, she ran upstairs to dress. She knows her San Diego girlfriends are hot and most of them single. She didn't want to admit it but she wanted Jon's eyes on her. Maybe it was the fact that she'd been spending more time around him or she subconsciously thought he'd be drawn to it, but she had packed some stuff that was definitely influenced by him. She wouldn't care to admit how many times she had packed and repacked her bag before she came back to the house. But among her typical pretty clothes, there were some flannels, combat boots, and gray and black clothing that were definitely inspired by Jon.
Jon
Fuck. Jon thought as she came down the stairs. First thing he saw were her long legs, accentuated by the knee high socks.
"Daaaamn, what I wouldn't do to your sister," Theon muttered as he talked to Robb and Jon.
"Fuck off man. No one is touching my sister. Not you, not anyone." Robb said, giving him a hard punch on the arm.
Stay away from Sansa. Stay away from Sansa. Jon reiterated in his head. It didn't help that she was asked about my multiple guys from the office when they arrived and saw her. He was thankful for Robb being an overprotective brother in those moments. Jon did his best to pay attention to the game but sometimes he couldn't help but glance at her quickly from time to time. This seemed like a new style for her and he definitely liked it. She didn't even know she was making it torturous for him.
Sansa
"Aren't you cold, Sans?" her friend Jeyne asked.
"Oh please, it's 62 degrees outside. I have Stark blood, this is like summer to us."
"You need to inform us about that guy with the dark curly hair," Jeyne asked as her and a couple of the other girls leaned in closer.
"Oh, that's Jon."
"Ohhhh you're brother's friend you've been talking about!"
"I think Sans has a little crush!"
"Shut up guys, he's like a brother to me," Sansa tried to sound convincing.
"Well, if that's the case…" Jeyne said as she strutted away from their group and went over to Jon. Sansa couldn't hear what they were talking about but Jeyne put on her usual flirting charms. This time it annoyed Sansa.
After the game ended and everyone left, Jon and Robb started cleaning up. Sansa would have helped but Jon wouldn't let her and she was a little tipsy from a few drinks so she decided sitting was a good decision and talked with Margaery by the fire pit in the backyard.
"So you were looking pretty hot today, Sans. The outfit seems a touch familiar to the way Jon sometimes dresses, wouldn't you say?" Margaery said in her teasing voice.
Sansa rolled her eyes but her face felt a little flush. Damn Margaery for catching little details, she thought.
"Why can't you just admit you like him?" Margaery asked with more seriousness.
"Because I don't, Marg. I like being around him, he's friendly and fun to be around. But that's it."
"Sure," Margaery said with doubt.
"Even if I did like him, you know I'm not ready for anything new anyways, Marg. Ramsey fucked me up. Even saying his name brings back bad feelings that course through my body. I'm too fucked up inside still to even let a guy back in."
"Even a sweet and respectful one like Mr. Jon Snow?"
"Even a guy like that. But it doesn't matter, because I don't feel for him like that."
After the guys were done, Robb and Margaery went up to bed. Sansa could see Jon sit down on the couch inside. She made her way inside and plopped down on the couch next to him as he watched a show.
"I feel like we haven't talked all day," Sansa stated.
"Yeah, just lots of people here. Plus I ended up having to babysit Theon until I put his drunk ass to bed in the guestroom," Jon said, still trying not to look at her legs as they stretched out to rest her feet on the coffee table.
"I saw you talking to my friend Jeyne, how'd you feel about her?" Sansa asked, telling herself she was just getting info for Jeyne but she could taste a little jealousy on her tongue.
"She's nice, that's about it. How come you don't have a boyfriend down here? That friend of yours, Harry, seems to be really into you."
"I'm just not ready for that in my life," Sansa replied with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"What's wrong, Sans?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it."
"Sansa, you can tell me," Jon said softly as he finally turned to look at her. Her beautiful eyes were shining with tears that were threatening to fall. It made Jon's heart ache.
"I just…Something came up in my mind that I wish would disappear forever, and now it's just sitting in there and I can't get rid of it." The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop it, probably thanks to the still present tipsiness.
"Maybe I can help?" Jon said, lightly using his thumb to wipe away the single tear on her cheek.
"You don't want to hear about my past issues and how I'm fucked up, Jon." She moved to get up to go upstairs so she could cry in privacy. But his hand grasped hers gently.
"Please stay, I think you need to talk and vent it out, it might help." She sat back down. His gentleness and kind voice made her relax a little.
"It's about an ex-boyfriend. Two actually." Sansa said, looking down at her hand where she had felt Jon's touch. It felt warm still.
"Ah, I've heard a lot of angry things come out of Robb's mouth about those two."
"Yeah, he doesn't even know everything. Joffrey treated me badly when we were together. He was so nice at first but it changed so fast. He wanted me to be a certain way and when I didn't comply, he became a childish brat and said horrible things to me. I didn't know it at the time, but he would start spreading rumors about me whenever he was angry with me. Then he would turn it around and tell me no one would want me because all the guys think I'm a crazy, insane bitch who sleeps with lots of guys. It happened so often that I started to think no one would really want me. It took way too long to get there, but the final straw happened when we were all in Europe after graduation. He kept trying to get me to have sex with him. I wasn't ready for it but he just wouldn't stop trying to guilt me into it. One night, I decided to just give him what he wants otherwise he's going to leave me and I'd be alone. Turns out he was fucking my so-called friend that night. Marg found out that it was Joffrey who had been telling all the lying rumors about me. Marg and I changed up our Europe trip so that we would no longer be around any of them. Thank God I didn't end up sleeping with him. But then there's Ramsey…And I really need to stop talking now," Sansa said as she realized how much she was talking about.
"You don't have to tell me, Sans, I know it's all very private for you. But I really do think this is helping you," Jon gently said. Sansa took a deep breath.
"Ramsey wore me down to my core. It's been nearly eight months and it's been hell trying to find myself again. I know that sounds stupid but I realized I wasn't myself with Joff, it was like I was pretending to be a different type of person. When I got to New York after Europe, I was weak still and someone talked me into dating Ramsey. Ramsey made me even weaker. There was something about him that made me feel trapped. He made me feel small and sometimes scared. Like Joff, he wanted things his way only. Unlike Joff, he was terrifying when things weren't done his way."
"What did he do?" Jon asked in a low angry voice. This type of anger didn't scare Sansa, it made her feel protected in a way.
"Mostly verbal abuse. But sometimes his anger exploded in more ways. A slap or pushing me to the ground and threatening me, once he put his hand around my throat," she said slowly, every word was a struggle. "He forcefully had sex with me." Those words felt more like a strangle.
"Sansa," Jon said quietly and pulled her into him so he could hold her as the tears fell from her eyes. As sad as she was, she felt like nothing could hurt her in his arms. "I am so sorry, Sansa," Jon whispered into the top of her hair after some time.
"It's okay, Jon," she said quietly as she untangled herself from him.
"It's not okay. And if I ever see that man, I will fucking kill him," he said angrily.
"No. I hope to never be anywhere near him and I don't want any of my loved ones to stoop to his level. Thankfully, he's on the other side of the country and I heard he's with this girl Myranda, who I've unfortunately met and she is every bit like him. I don't want to give him anymore of my thoughts or anger, he would think of it as him winning. I can't allow him that."
"Sansa, you're more strong that you know," he said admiringly, lifting her chin with his hand to face him so he could look in her eyes to make sure she accepts it. He wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Thank you, Jon. I'd like to think that. But thank you. I think it really did help to say it to someone, it feels like some of his power is gone."
Jon
He gazed at her as she slept, her head resting in his lap.
After telling him everything, they continued to talk on the couch. He wanted to ease her mind and wipe away her bad thoughts. He told her about his time in the Marines, deployment, college, and when she asked if he had any serious girlfriends, he talked about Ygritte. Reckless, carefree, wild Ygritte. They just weren't meant to be, they wanted different things. Plus he felt her love leave when she got restless so he finally gave up trying with her and she moved to Alaska.
Eventually, their talk died down and they just watched some tv silently. Jon was tired but he didn't want to leave Sansa alone if she needed his company. Then he felt her sleepily lay her head on his shoulder. Soon, he heard her soft breathing as she fell asleep. And now she adjusted to get more comfortable by laying down with her head in his lap.
He gently brushed a few strands of her fiery red hair from her face. He had a lot of emotions rushing through him. He felt so sad for Sansa and what she had to endure. The anger towards the men who dared hurt her still boiled within him. He was curious about her "loved ones" comment that seemed to include him, but he told himself it's just because she sees him as family. He was surprised by how much he had shared with her, he never talks that much to people about his private life. But with her deeply sleeping in his lap, he didn't want the night to end.
He enjoyed this moment for an hour longer until he decided it was time to sleep. He carefully picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to her bed, laying her in it and covering her with the duvet. He glimpsed one last look at her as he shut the door and went to his own bed.
Sansa
She woke the next morning and took a second to wonder how she had gotten in her bed with her clothes from yesterday still on. Then last night hit her. She regretted spilling her issues to Jon but realized it did feel like a small weight was lifted off of her. But why did it have to be Jon, she thought.
As she was about to leave to go to work, she caught a glimpse of Jon in the kitchen eating breakfast. He was already dressed in his suit for work. He looked incredibly handsome. She sheepishly went to him.
"Hey," she quietly said, looking around to make sure Robb wasn't in the vicinity. "Thanks for bringing me to bed last night," she said with a shy smile. "Could you just not tell anyone, especially Robb, about what we talked about last night?"
"Of course, Sans."
"Thank you." She gave his hand a squeeze and she left.
The rest of the week, she stayed at her own apartment. After oversharing, she thought it would be best if she had time to herself. But on Friday night, she came back to the house for the weekend. She was going to go out with Margaery, Jeyne, and a couple of other friends for a girls night out.
"Why have you been M.I.A. this week, Sans?" Margaery asked as the two got ready.
"Oh I just needed some me time."
"Everything okay?" she asked with some concern.
"Yeah, things are actually a little better than it's been in quite some time."
"Good. Well, Jon's seemed a little different since you were gone."
"Different?"
"Concerned, sad, forlorn."
"Oh please, you're so dramatic," Sansa laughed as she put on an all black outfit that she shyly had to admit to herself was something Jon might like.
As they were about to leave, Jon and Robb arrived home from work. Marg and Robb got all mushy as they said bye to each other, so Sansa rolled her eyes and turned to find Jon looking at her body. She noticed he tried to avert his eyes and it made her smile.
"So where have you been all week? I got used to seeing your face around here," Jon said shyly.
"I just needed some Sansa time," she replied with a smile.
"Well good. You're doing a little better now?"
"I am, actually."
"Good, have some fun tonight with the girls, you deserve it. And you look great, Sans," he said in a quiet, bashful voice as he nervously ran his hand through his hair.
She ended up having a great time dancing all night with her girls. Later in the night, Margaery went back to the house, but she texted Sansa when she got home safe. And then she informed her that Jon was waiting up to make sure Sansa herself got home safe. It made Sansa smile. After hopping over to another bar with Jeyne and the others and dancing until last call, she got in an Uber and went to the house.
She walked in and found Jon had laid down and fallen asleep on the couch as he had waited. She gazed at him, thinking of how handsome he is and debating on if she should wake him up so he could go to his bed. Instead, she quietly went to her room, changed into pajamas, and came back down to him. She decided to be brave and she laid down in front of him on the couch to be the little spoon. She threw a blanket over them and as she adjusted to get comfortable, he slipped his arm over her waist and brought her closer to him as he stayed asleep. Sansa felt happy and content as she drifted off.
Jon
Jon gently woke from a dream he was having of Sansa and slowly realized that there was a body pressed to him. His eyes shot open and faced the back of her head and all of her perfect red hair. He felt how the back of her body was completely formed to the front of his own, fitting every curve. He could feel her ass pressed into his crotch and he began to get hard. Come on, Jon, you're not a teenage boy,he thought as he quickly shifted and pressed himself into the back of the couch so her ass couldn't feel his pelvic area and what was going on there. But his quick reaction made her stir awake.
"Hey you," Sansa said sleepily with a smile and saw his confused look. "I came home last night and saw you sleeping here. I didn't want to wake you and you looked cold but comfy, so I decided I'd join you."
"Ah, I…" he began to say but then they heard Robb and Margaery coming down the stairs. Jon instinctively scrambled to get up and off the couch, nearly rolling Sansa to to the ground.
They spent the next few nights on the couch sleeping next to each other. They didn't speak about it, it just kept happening. Jon made sure to always wake up early before Robb could find them, he felt like he was disrespecting his friendship. But one night when they all got home from dinner and drinks and Robb and Margaery went to bed, Jon couldn't say no to Sansa when she asked for him to join her in her bed since it's more comfortable than the couch.
He nervously slid in next to her and wrapped his arm around her as she nestled the back of her body into his. He realized he hadn't felt so happy in so long. When he woke early in the morning, he found they had shifted at some point in the night and her head was resting on his chest, her arm resting on his stomach, and her bare leg lazily draped across his thighs. It took all he could muster to not glide his hand up that leg until it met her pajama shorts. He gently woke her to let her know he was leaving for his room before Robb woke up. Instead of going back to sleep, he closed his eyes and could almost feel her body against his again as he pleasured himself.
Sansa had begun to stay every night at the house and when they weren't at work, she and Jon were always together. And every night, she would invite him to her room to sleep. Jon told himself that it's just because she doesn't want to be alone right now, but his feelings for her kept growing.
Jon - March 2016
Eventually, it was almost the day that he and Robb were to leave to go back to Washington. He was glad to be going back home but he had learned to love it down here, especially with Sansa showing him around. He was going to miss her. The night before they were to leave, the four of them went to dinner with coworkers from the branch.
Jon liked to walk behind Sansa that night, gazing at her creamy fair skin as it peeked out of the back of her strappy, open-backed dress. He so badly wanted to caress those patches of skin. He was glad they were going out tonight, he needed a few drinks to get his courage up.
As they were sitting next to each other during dinner, maybe a little closer than the others at their table were sitting, Sansa crossed her legs and he could feel the calf of her crossed leg rest against his knee and stay there. When they were at the bar later, he noticed how she hardly left his side and seemed to always be close enough to where her arm would be gently grazing his. Along with the alcohol, her seemingly wanting to be physically touching him at all times really brought up his courage. He spotted Robb dancing with Margaery so he took that moment to pull Sansa to the bar's outdoor patio. It was strung up with lights, the outdoor fireplace was blaring, and Jon was happy to find no one was out there.
He dared himself to look into her clear blue eyes. He realized he had never seen that color blue in anything other than her eyes. She looked at him expectantly.
"Sansa, I just need to tell you some things before I leave," he began. "I know things are a bit delicate for you and you're still finding your way. I don't want to hinder that. But I hope it's okay for me to tell you that you're always in my head. I like you, Sans, I always have. But this trip has brought me to the realization that I finally needed to tell you." He blurted everything out so he wouldn't stop himself from saying what he needed to.
"You always have?" she asked confusedly.
"Since we were young. You never wondered why I was shy and nervous around you?"
"I always thought you just didn't like me as much as you liked my family."
"Well it was the opposite of that. And when I saw you at the engagement party, I knew I was in trouble. I tried to stay away from you at first, tried to take my mind off of you. But it never worked. I always seem pulled to you. I'd dream of you and wake up wondering if you've ever dreamt of me. Being around you the past couple of weeks, in my head I would pretend you're mine and it would make me smile. God, I hope it's okay I'm saying all of this, please don't feel awkward around me if this is all just me," Jon quietly said as he looked down and began to lose his nerve.
"Jon," Sansa said, lifting his chin so he could see her. "I really like you too. Especially after I spilled all of my issues to you and you treated me with such kindness. You were able to look past it all and just see me for who I am. I just…I can't promise anything. I don't know if I'm there yet."
"I understand that," Jon said as a smile crept up on his face when he processed that she said she likes him too. "I don't want to rush you into anything. If anything were to happen between us, it's at your speed only." She smiled at him and it made him feel weak. He gently grazed his knuckles against her arm. "Is it too soon to kiss you?" He asked shyly, looking down at her lips. She bit her lip and slowly reached up to press her lips into his.
The first few kisses were gentle, with his hands placed on her waist. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him harder. His hands grazed her back where her dress opened and he felt her soft skin. After another few minutes of kissing, they reluctantly broke apart and went back into the bar before they could be found.
Back at home, he waited for Robb and Marg to go to bed. Once they did, he found Sansa's door open and she scooted over for him in her bed. He closed the door and laid next to her and carefully brushed her hair back. She leaned and kissed him, this time there was more hunger behind it. He gently snuck his tongue out and caressed her lip until she opened her mouth and let his tongue invade. She softly moaned and it made his already hard dick throb. She wound her hand through his curly dark hair and gently pushed to pull his mouth harder on hers. It made him let out his own throaty groan into her mouth. He knew she must be able to feel his hardness under his pajama pants against her thigh. They happily kissed a while longer. It was difficult, but Jon successfully didn't try to move things on further than that. He didn't want to rush it and ruin it. When they eventually tired, he pulled her in so her chest was pressed against his and her head rested under his chin. He kissed her soft hair and said good night. Even though it would be another two months until he saw her again at the wedding, this night had been the happiest he could remember.