Diabolus of the Old School Building II: Futsunoko, the Worthless.

A/N: So yeah, if you read the warning, you know this chapter's incomplete and a bit bugged. I'm still pissed because I got some important stuff from College deleted, and this fucked me up.

Anyhow, I'm answering some of the reviews on the last chapter.

. ClearwingYuta: Thx man.

. TheJSmooth: I'm still new to the Lemon business, trying to improve them by reading some mangas. Thx, by the way.

. Neo Infinity: Lol, those are some great ideas. The Love Meter is definitely going to be added on the repost.

. alabahmaman: Yeah, I'm reorganizing this plot after I'm finished with the tabel.

. akasuna123: What a lucky bastard.

. Fmaximus19: I decided to make things gradual, and give him powers as the story progresses.

. kingslayer98: Thx, Jaime Lannister.

. Oblivious ninja IJ: Fighting zombies is love, fighting zombies is life. And yeah, Kiba has always been weird.

. MrSpice: If my laptop allows it, I'll try.

. OechsnerC: Thx cousin.

. Cake Buddy: Yeah, it was intentional. Futsunoko Kainashi literally means "Useless Normal Man".

. belamy20: Thx bro. And about Issei's name, well…dude, the fun is her being a tomboy with a boyish name.

. Authorian - Shade of Aletheia: Hey man, thx for the review. My writing used to suck too, but I got better with the time.

. : When I repost this, I'll correct it.

Wildfurion

Disclaimer: I do not own Highschool DxD, nor do I own the Gamer Manhwa or any of the series/anime/movies/comics/games/books cited. I just own this satirical and kind of funny fanfic.

"Gamers always believe that an epic win is possible and that it's always worth trying and trying now."- Jane McGonigal.

Diabolus of the Old School Building II: Futsunoko, the Worthless.

My Crib, Home, Chinese Guetto, Town of Kuoh, , Kanto, Northern Japan, April 13th, 2018, 6:30 AM, Tokyo Time-zone.

GOOD MORNING!

During your sleep, your Health and Mana Points have fully recovered. All ailments have been removed and healed.

Lemon Alert!

"Oh yes! Deeper! Deeper! It feels soooo good~!"

With a smug grin, I stare deep into Suzaku's violet eyes as I thrust up into her insanely tight crotch. With her hands holding onto the bed in a tight grip, the Himejima priestess violently bounces up and down my shaft, her loud moans of approval filling my ears as my movements meet with her own.

"I love you, Suzaku." Is what I say as my hands reach up to squeeze her large, shapely breasts. Yet again, I have to thank my new powers for making me last this long in bed.

"Futsuu!" The black-haired beauty moans loudly as she's sent into the clouds by one more intense orgasm. "I love you! I love you!"

As my own orgasm closed in, I let out a loud growl and use my newly found strength to force the beauty onto her hands and knees before brutally sheathing myself in her once more. Suzaku's moans fill my apartment- as does the smell of her arousal and sweat- as I pound her sensitive, dripping wet pussy like a piston.

"I'm cumming, Suzaku! I'm cumming!" I groan into her ear, before going for a bite at her exposed, tempting, pale neck. The salty flavor of sweat fills in my mouth, as I speed up with my thrusts.

"YES! YES! CUM! Cum inside me, Futsuu!" lost in pure ecstasy, she says in between moans, her hips moving on their own to meet my powerful thrusts. I could hear the sound of skin slapping against skin, and it did nothing but excite me even more.

With one last thrust, I buried my shaft deep into her womb before exploding inside her. My body shivers in a mind-breaking orgasm.

"Yeeeeeessss~!" I hear Suzaku moan weakly in approval, as the seventh orgasm of the night takes the last of her remaining energy.

Lemon End.

With a groan, I pull myself out of her- earning a low moan of protest from my lover- before laying by her side on the wet sheets and pulling her closer in a hug. With a giggle, the priestess obliges and cuddles up to me, placing wrapping her legs around me in what would be quite the sexy view.

"I love you, Futsu." The beautiful Himejima whispers at my ear before kissing me on the lips. Not a passionate kiss, though, it was more of a chaste one. "I love you more than everything in this world."

I grin, kissing Suzaku on the forehead before replying. "I love you too, Suzaku."

Almost immediately after, I could feel her grip getting tighter, her legs wrapping around me as if to never let me go.

"For real?" she asks, looking at me like a puppy would at its owner. Gods, she really looks like Akeno. I wonder if the other Himejima can be this clingy too? Or this…assertive in bed? Better not to even think about it. You've had enough sex for a night, Futsunoko Kainashi.

"For real, Suzu."

Or so I thought. To be honest, I do feel some sort of attraction- by some sort, I mean a lot-to Suzaku, and I would indeed try and do everything to make her happy. But to call this actual love? That's going waaaay too far. I even don't know if such feeling is hardcoded in my persona, to begin things with.

Anyhow, after some more cuddling and a bit of small talk- which was mostly Suzaku telling about how stressful it was to be the head of an important clan- we finally found the energy to get up from bed, at last.

After a long, cold shower- during which we obviously had even more sex since I am unable to resist Suzaku's body- I'm presented with a sight that is becoming more and more familiar to me: Suzaku, dressed in my clothes, standing by the stove, happily humming a song while making me breakfast.

"I'm making you some Jian Bing today. Just saw the recipe on the web, hope you like it~" Jian Bing was basically a Chinese version of a crepe, filled to the brim with eggs. While not my favorite dish, it was a pretty common treat at my neighborhood.

"You're not eating with me today huh?" I ask with a smirk, standing up to give her neck small kisses from behind, taking in the sweet smell of her shampoo. "Pity, I thought you would be my main dish today, love."

"*giggle* I really can't stay, Futsu." The priestess replies with a giggle, ruffling my messy black hair with her free hand. "The clan elders are demanding a meeting, as the head of the Himejima, I have to be present."

"I see…"

"However…" With no previous warning, Suzaku turns and pushes me onto the desk, forcing me to sit before straddling on my lap. With a smug grin, I look down to kiss her passionately, my hands running down her curvy body to grope her sexy butt. After about 5 minutes of intense making out, we finally broke apart- panting for breath. "Maybe, just maybe, I get to spend the entire Sunday with you, Futsu."

"Oh, I'll make sure to explore your body."

"Every inch of it." She completes with a teasing smile, standing up from her place from my lap and going back to the stove. Less than ten minutes later, breakfast was ready and served, and Suzaku- already dressed in her traditional miko attire- stood by the door.

You've eaten a nutritious meal! +1 VIT

You've eaten a nutritious meal! +1 STR

"See you later, Suzu." I say, blowing her a kiss before turning back to the food and digging in.

"I'll be back tonight, my love." Suzaku replies with lust and devotion almost dripping from her words.

FLIRT HAS LEVELED UP BY 1!

Soon after the Hime Miko left, I feel something warm rub against my leg and look down to see Fuji. The white cat stares back at me with smugness shining in its hazel eyes, before jumping up to claim the free seat on my lap.

"Good morning to you too, Fuji." I greet, giving her a piece of my crepe while patting her white fur. The cat groans and lets out a pleased mewl in response. "You're finally up. And just after Suzu left. You don't like her, do you?"

The cat merely stares into my emotionless eyes, before scratching my skirt with its small, yet extremely sharp, claws. I guesses that was a no from the little thing.

"Well, it's Saturday. The best day to laze around." I say with a whistle, putting the plates into the dishwasher- you expect ME to wash the dishes? – and lazily letting myself drop onto the sofa like a lifeless body. "IDK, I guess I'll just spend the rest of the day playing Game of Thron-"

*knock**knock**knock**knock* "Rise and shine, sunshine~!."

Or so it would be, if not for the extra classes I'd have to take (something about compensating all the days I skipped frickin' school). "Fuck, it's 7:30 AM and some jackass's already knocking at my door."

"I heard that, Kainashi-senpai!"

I sigh, standing up and walking to the bathroom in order to wash my face and pour some water onto my ridiculous, long black hair that makes me look like an emo femboy. I then proceed to- following a suggestion from Issei- to tie it in a ponytail, which made me look even more like a femboy. Damn, I do hate my life.

"Who the hell are you?" I ask with the biggest scowl I could muster as I open the door and find myself face to face with some weird, blue-haired chick. Guess this girl's a third year as well, judging for the uniform. Who cares?

"Tsubasa, Tsubasa Yura. We're from the same school, you know?" she replied, with a cheeky playful grin.

Standing by the door, is a tall, fair, athletic girl of about sixteen years of age. Like Issei, Tsubasa has the looks of a tomboy, though her body is much more curvaceous and attractive. Her blue hair reaches down to her shoulders, and her matching eyes glow with a peculiar, mischievous glint. 'Just like Issei, geez.'

"And you're here…why?"

"Because Sona-kaichou sent me here to get you. She said something on the lines of 'Bring that lazy idiot here, else I'm getting him personally.'" The girl replied as cheerfully as ever, despite my death glare and terrible mood. "By the way, this hairstyle looks good on you, Kainashi-senpai."

And there I was, expecting to spend all the weekend smoking, having sex and playing some games- because cancer ain't enough to fuck my health up- and now the devil comes to haunt me at home.

It was then, that I noticed the small data floating just above Tsubasa's head. And, boy, was I surprised.

Tsubasa Yura-Lvl: 30.

HP: 51200/51200

MP: 31243/31243

Info: Sona Sitri's Rook and a Second-Year Student at Kuoh Academy, Tsubasa has been interacting with the Supernatural since she was a child. She is athletic, and often takes all the physical work at the Academy's Student Council. She's into the femboy types.

Status: Fresh and ready for the day. Finds you quirky and attractive.

Emotions: Bliss, freshness, lust.

Opinion of you: +60.

Your opinion of her: -90.

Wow, she's strong. And a Devil, to add it up. But fuck that, this brat just came knocking at my door…to drag me to school. When did the kouhais lose all their respect for their veterans?

"So, Kainashi-san, how will it be: are you coming or…" She then walks closer and runs her finger up my chest, giving me a teasing wink. "Will I have to take you by force?"

"I'd rather not take the second option." Was my emotionless reply, and she giggled before pulling her hand back. I didn't mind all the flirting- it was quite exciting, in fact- but I still didn't know how Suzaku would react to me sleeping with yet another girl. "I'm going to change, just wait there on the couch." I say, pointing at the couch before I walk into the main bedroom and strip down, before starting to dress up in the uniform I'd left sprawled over the King-size bed.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but the apartment I live in is actually quite big for Japanese standards. With 150 square meters of area, it has a main suite- which I took for myself after my parents passed away- three bathrooms, a large kitchen, living room, dining room and two bedrooms- one which used to serve as my dad's office before he died, and the other which belonged to my only living relative, my sister, Hina. Since Hina's in America for her work, this means the house is all for me.

Besides, the girl hates me guts. So I don't even consider her as family anymore.

"Whoa, senpai, your place's big." I hear Tsubasa say in awe, as I walk into the living room to see her exploring around. "You must be pretty loaded to afford something like this!"

I choose not to answer that, instead pulling up a cigarette from a hidden pocket on my blazer before using my Fire affinity to discreetly lit it up. As the taste of tobacco fills in my buds and lungs, I fill my sour mood beginning to crack down. Nobody resists a good ol' Marlboro Red. "Let's go, shall we?"

"Geez, so serious. You'll never get a girlfriend if you act like this, Kainashi-senpai…"

"First, it's Britney, bitch. Second, it's Saturday, and I'm far from happy for being forced to take extra classes…"

"Fine, fine." The girl replies with a giggle. She then walks up close and whispers to my ear. Her voice is low and teasing, in a tone filled with nothing but pure sex drive. "But I wouldn't mind one bit being your girl, handsome."

Dear God, why are so many magical girls lusting after me?

You know what, don't tell me. It's probably because I'm living in a game.

A pretty difficult…and erotic, sick game.

(Small Time Skip)

Kuoh Academy, Town of Kuoh, Kanto, Northern Japan April 13th, 2018, 11:55 AM, Tokyo Time-zone.

It's the last five minutes of torture, before midday comes and I'm free from the Academy for the rest of the weekend. As the teacher rumbles something about Integrals and Derivatives, I sigh before taking a look at my MENU, choosing the longer version because…well, class.

I don't need this bullshit, damn it.

[MENU]

Name: Futsunoko Kainashi (正常男甲斐無し- Kainashi Futsunoko)

Title: "Gamer of Kuoh."

Vital Status: Half-dead.

Race: Human/ Job: The Gamer. /Class: The Gamer/ Married: No./ Children: None.

Lvl: 18/ Exp. to next level: 3876/5,450.

HP: 4120/4120 -MP: 3410/3410 .

Mana Regen. 9.1 % per minute (310. 31/min)/ HP Regen. 15, 1% per minute (622.12/min).

Armor: 5000/5000.

[STATS]

STR: 33/ VIT: 31/ DEX: 34/ INT: 61/ WIS: 25/ LUK: 26.

Status Points: 0.

Money: ¥ 75000.

Prestige: 80. Rise: 0.1 per minute.

Opinion of you: -.

Your opinion of him: -.

[Skills]

-The Gamer. Type: Passive. Lvl: MAX. Description:This character is The Gamer. Effects: Can change races and classes at high enough levels. Can do things most characters can't; Gains exp faster. Able to evolve faster than others. Can Revive freely. A Gamer works with HP and Mana systems. Character has a special body. Unique Prestige mechanic.

-Gamer's Mind. Type: Passive. Lvl: MAX. Description: Allows the user to calmly and logically think things through. Allows peaceful state of mind. Immunity to psychological mass effect.

-Gamer's Body. Type: Passive. Lvl: MAX. Description: Grants a body that allows for the user to live the real world like a game. Sleeping in a bed restores HP, MP and all mass effects.

-Observe. Type: Active. Lvl: 2. Description: Through continuous observation, a skill to observe objects, situations, and persons was generated allowing the user to quickly gather information. The higher the skill, the greater the data obtained. At level 1, it tells the target's Lv 2: it reveals the remaining HP, and weaknesses. Enemies that are too strong aren't affected!

- Mana Affinity. Type: Passive. Lvl: 5. Description: Technique that allows the user to become more sensitive to mana and handle it better.

- Dish Washing. Type: Passive. Lvl: 4. Description: A technique to wash dishes. With greater mastery, you can clean any dirty spot. 20% increase in dish washing speed.

-Cooking. Type: Passive. Lvl: 4. Description: The skill or activity of preparing food for people to eat. At level 4, it allows the user to cook basic dishes with a much better taste.

-Physical Endurance. Type: Passive. Lvl: 3. Description: The body's durability increases, allowing for less damage taken. 3% decrease in damage taken by attacks.

- Shadow Clone Technique . Type: Active. Lvl: 3. Description: This jutsu allows the user to create one or more copies of themselves. The user's MP is evenly divided between themselves and their clones. Shadow clones usually disperse once they are struck hard enough. Once dispersed, the clone's experiences and remaining chakra are transferred back to the user. The shared experiences make shadow clones extremely useful for intelligence gathering. At level 3, allows for the creation of up to three Shadow clones.

-Bronze Skin. Type: Active. Lvl: 5. Cost: 60MP/ minute. Description: A magic with unknown origin. It appeared as a protection magic that mages used widely. The skin becomes as strong as bronze, but it retains the texture of skin, having the strength of bronze and the flexibility of skin. The defensive strength is so strong, that it deflects bullets with only a light skin wound. A deep bruise is possible and it won't stop the bones from breaking- At level 5, the Gamer has 5000 Armor as defense.

-Energy Bolt. Type: Active. Lvl: 8. Description: A skill that attacks by emitting Mana. Attack power increases by INT. Range 80m- Damage: 360 DP.

- Flirt. Type: Passive. Lvl: 5. Description: Ever present in relations between man and woman, flirt is a key element for both seduction and a good relationship. Effects: At lvl 5, it makes women feel more attracted to the user.