Disclaimer: I don't own any characters except my characters. Which are quite a few this time around. Let's try it this way: I don't own any Marvel characters that happen to show up in the upcoming chapters and which I'm sure you'll recognise without any need to name long lists. I also do not own Jenny, which Dizi created a few years back and which is a fabulous character. I strongly recommend you read her adventures with Wolverine and the X-Men.
12. Misgivings
Hank sat on the chair, looking at the sleeping Isabel. In his mind, though, he was going through all his knowledge about the woman. And he was very much aware how precious little it was.
He knew she was in apparent good health. He knew she had a rare blood type, but he didn't have an inkling concerning its nature. And he had had no idea she was pregnant. Why hadn't she confided in him? If she had intended to maintain that information secret, he would have respected her wishes and preserved the necessary secrecy. Obviously, though, Isabel hadn't trusted him. In an effort to gain her trust, he had delayed starting analysis on her blood. He would do so only after receiving her consent so she could conclude he was trustworthy.
It begged the question 'why?'.
The Isabel he vaguely remembered from years back had been a timid yet resolute young woman. He remembered best her cool determination when refusing further medical exams. She'd been experimented upon, he recalled. That would explain some of her renitence about consulting with him. Surely, though, she understood the importance of having medical assistance throughout a pregnancy.
Another factor, and Hank's first thought, was Creed. He was distrustful to the extreme and he still saw the X-Men as his enemies, that much was obvious from his every interaction. Isabel might have felt constrained to uphold the villain's distrust by not confiding her state.
Then there was another factor to consider. Could Creed have been pleased with the prospect of having a second child? Once more, his first thought had been to scoff at the idea. It would have been all too natural for Isabel to have been afraid to let him discover her pregnancy and, not knowing who to trust, had remained silent.
However, thinking it through calmly, he did possess good parenting qualities. Could he, then, welcome the prospect? Ignoring the man's backstory and keeping in mind solely his current behaviour around Lilia and Zelig, Hank was forced to admit there was actually a good probability Creed might welcome a second child. There had been a moment, the day before, when Creed had actually shown himself distressed by the loss of his would-be son. For a few seconds, before he'd asked about his daughter, he'd been clearly disoriented and on the verge of breaking down. On the other hand, had the pregnancy been unexpected, he might not have welcomed the timing. In this case, Isabel might have feared his reaction.
Were there other probable causes that explained both Isabel's stress and distrust? Certainly. The environment in the Institute had been rather unwelcoming towards her connection to Creed, culminating in her child discovering she was afraid of her father and assuming her mother was a coward. Most unfortunate and upsetting. That was definitely a cause for emotional stress and a reason to further entrench her into her distrust.
However, the aforementioned factors did not satisfactorily explain her behaviour, and it was said behaviour which Hank had set off to understand so as to fulfill his duties as a doctor to the best of his abilities.
Creed had claimed Isabel was not afraid but simply apprehensive and, naturally, he had followed that line of inquiry. Ever since his mutation had been jumpstarted and he'd taken on a more feline appearance, Hank had discovered that his own healing factor and heightened senses had also been much improved. Nevertheless, his senses were still not a match for Logan's, neither in degree nor in experience. Therefore, he had ignored his own empirical findings and had interviewed Logan.
His colleague had eventually admitted that yes, Isabel was more often apprehensive than fearful, if one wanted to split hairs. But he had still maintained that there were enough situations when actual fear was present. Those situations, in as far as he had witnessed, had always happened when Creed was present or, in alternative, when his standing on the team was mentioned in her presence.
Hank had further enquired into how Logan distinguished apprehension from fear, but the other man had shrugged it off. There was a fine line between fear and apprehension, he had stated, and it really wasn't important. It was more about how intense the scent was than anything else.
Hank could clearly identify uneasiness, though he identified it much more from one's heartbeat rate in conjunction with other visual cues rather than through scent. Logan, however, had told him there's a definite scent that goes with it, faint and subdued, true, but a definite scent. Once more, he claimed, if Hank could smell fear, then the scent they were talking about wasn't much different. More subtle, but close enough. In fact, Logan had claimed, intense fear, skyrocketing and bordering panic, is so intense one could almost categorise it as a different smell altogether. Hank was aware of that, how the intensity of fear morphed the scent emanating from one's body, and concluded that the difference between fear and apprehension was simply too subtle for the class of his senses. Logan had then gone on to say that the difference between intense dread and fear was far more conspicuous than the difference between apprehension and fear.
"If ya ask me, Blue," Logan had said at the end of the interview, "Creed doesn't want to accept the truth. The woman may not be scared to death of him, but she is scared. Fortunately, he isn't in any position to actually hurt her, so that fear comes out as borderline apprehension. And that asshole decided to see her apprehension as a sign of worry instead of what it really is. That's all there is to it."
But, once again, that opinion had enough contradictions. First of all, Creed had been truly upset by the notion that Isabel might fear him. Why? If he was abusive, even if only occasionally, then it was only natural she'd fear his abuse and, therefore, himself. In fact, all of his known behaviour supported the idea that he had forced Isabel into her current status and the only way he could have done so was through fear. It was his natural modus operandi. What could have possibly led to this delusion that Isabel didn't fear him?
Emma had offered little interest in exploring the conundrum. She had assured him that whatever emotions she read coming from the woman – whether it was apprehension, anxiety or fear – could very well be due to her being a telepath, so there was nothing she could say on that behalf.
"She is clearly terrified of telepaths and has been taught to hide her thoughts and emotions when one is around."
As for Creed, he was obviously distressed. Very emotionally and heartachingly distressed.
"And that, my dear, tells me our rampant killing machine has a definite soft spot for someone other than that little screeching devil. Useful tidbit, wouldn't you say?"
Indeed. If Creed possessed feelings for Isabel, then he probably would not want her to be afraid of him. That could explain why he refused to see her fears for what they were.
Hank's inquiries had allowed him to come to two main conclusions:
First of all, the reason behind Isabel's fear was clearly a combination of three factors: the threat that Creed represented, the threat that a residing telepath represented to herself, and the threat of trusting Creed's enemies. Naturally, Creed was behind most of it.
Secondly, the reason behind Isabel's distrust was born of the aforementioned factors. To trust Creed's enemies was to betray him and, therefore, she incurred in his wrath.
Unfortunately, none of those conclusions had so far offered a path to gain Isabel's trust. Despite her fear, she was deeply attached to the man and gave no sign of wishing to escape their relationship, quite the opposite. And gaining her trust was what he needed to secure if he was to help the young woman.
Even more unfortunately, the image of Isabel as being submissive and fearful made her recent behaviour quite unexpected.
Isabel had woken up three times since she had lost consciousness, post miscarriage, and she had never been herself, even if there had been a definite evolution. The first time, she hadn't recognised anyone. She'd tried to escape, wounding herself when she wrenched the IV needle and trying to wound those in her way. Curiously, she hadn't talked much, but the few words she had pronounced had all been in her native Portuguese.
The second time she'd woken up, in the middle of the night, she had found herself restrained to the bed. In retrospective, that seemed to have been the main factor behind her panic. Nevertheless, she had had enough presence of mind to call for help, and the one name she'd call for had been Creed's. Veetohr, she had cried over and over again, until the tranquilizers had induced her back to sleep. Clearly, she saw Creed as a protector, at least at that time, not as an abuser.
Following the event, he'd decided to unrestrain her, believing that the third time she came round, she might be conscious enough of the events previous to her coming to the infirmary. She had, indeed. But she'd also been very impetuous, obsessive and verbally aggressive. She had demanded information about her baby, details. Should he have produced the details she had asked for? Of course not. It would have further excited her sanguine disposition. She might have viewed herself at fault, causing an emotional breakdown, or she might have refused to accept any responsibility and become physically violent. It was an unfortunate situation since she was physically weakened from blood loss and the miscarriage itself. Both emotional rollercoasters and physical exertions were to be avoided at all costs. It was preferable to sedate her to keep her subdued... but not indefinitely. Sooner, rather than later, she'd have to face her fragile condition and make peace with her loss. But what to do if she insisted in leaping off the bed and attack those around her? Attack herself even? Another surprising trait, her disregard for her own well-being.
He shook his head. What could he do to obtain her trust and, therefore, to have her follow his instructions on the path to a full recovery? And why had she exhausted herself at Creed's side, knowing it might harm her unborn baby? For surely she had been aware of the danger of over-taxing herself in her condition!
Hank had been delaying an interview with Creed himself. He knew the man would not be forthcoming. Although, if he trully had feelings for Isabel, perhaps he'd be more candid than expected. At any rate, he might offer some insights into Isabel's…
A slight movement caught his attention and Hank let go of his line of thought. He remained attentively quiet by her side. Isabel took a few deep breaths, slowly escaping the dreamless sleep induced by the drugs, then she opened her eyes and gazed blindly at the ceiling. Once more, Hank remained absolutely still, allowing the woman all the time she might need. Eventually, her head slid to the side and she saw him. Their eyes met, silently and reactionless, for a moment.
"My baby," she said softly.
Hank decided to avoid a direct confrontation.
"Do you recall anything?"
Isabel closed her eyes, frowning slightly, and her lips quivered lightly.
"Perdi-o," and her voice quivered too. "Please. What happened to my baby?"
"You mustn't blame yourself," Hank told her gently.
He'd have liked to say that there had been nothing she could have done to avoid it, but he knew it wasn't so. Had he been informed, he could have shielded her at least partially from the brunt of the previous month's strain. But of course he couldn't say that; she must be preserved from further pressure.
"Staticics prove that most pregnancies meet unfortunate ends before the end of the first trimester."
"My baby..."
"I understand statistics hold no comfort, but you must first and foremost consider your health now. It should please you to know that you have suffered no lasting sequels from this unfortunate event. And, indeed, now is the time to focus our efforts on your swift recovery to ensure that even the temporary outcomes are as short lived as possible."
She was gazing dispassionately at him and Hank told himself he'd spoken too much and possibly too fast; Isabel was still under the tranquilizers' effect, after all.
"You must get well, Isabel. Make a complete recovery. Do you understand?"
Her face had no expression, even as her left hand flew over to the IV line and pulled it off.
"Isabel, don't!" But it was too late. The needle had ripped through the skin, blood flowing freely onto the bedsheets. "You've lost too much blood as it is, you mustn't hurt yourself further!"
Uncannily, her expression did not once change. Hank's pressing worry was to stop the bleeding – pulling the needle off had ripped open a quite deep and long wound – and he didn't immediately mind the needle in the woman's clenched fist.
"My baby," she uttered in a deep, detached voice.
Applying pressure over the wound, Hank looked up to witness the strength of the woman's closed fist around the needle, which was puncturing and tearing new wounds.
"My baby," an edge of neurotic obsession joined its detachment. "My, baby. My, baby. My. Baby."
Hank nearly swore under his breath. In a backwards flip, he reached for the tranquilizer and quickly injected the limp arm.
"Tell me, my baby," she still insisted, her eyes gazing in dull detachment. "My baby. Please!"
The moment Creed exited the shower room and saw Hank heading his way, his whole body tensed up. Hank knew what the man was thinking even before he half-snarled "S'about time she woke up!"
Hank would have preferred a more civile "Is she awake yet?" or "Can I see her now?", but he hadn't really expected it. The man wasn't civile, after all, and it took a good mood or at least some conscious effort for him to pretend to possess some courteousness. Moreover, his angry expression once more impressed Hank as being the opposite of what Isabel required at the moment. She had called for him, true; however, she had felt under attack when she had done so. But even if she had been conscious of her situation, still Hank would hesitate before bringing the man to her presence.
"I'm afraid she's not awake, yet." He reconsidered. "Or rather, she became disturbed and is once more asleep."
The deep growl and stiff members showed clearly how much of an effort the man was doing to avoid any movements that might be deemed aggressive.
"Ya doin' that on purpose, Doc? Keepin' the woman sedated so I can't talk t'her?"
"As I explained last night and again this morning, Creed, it is in her best interest to avoid any type of agitation, including emotional turmoil. Now tell me, what interests you the most? Isabel's well-being or your whim of talking to her?"
Creed looked away, eyes showing nothing but fury, and Hank knew that he would not allow him near Isabel unless he deemed the man capable of withholding every and any indication of anger. On the other hand, the psychopath could give evidence of extreme stubbornness when aggravated and Hank needed him pliable if he were to obtain any answers from him.
"You must understand: Isabel has lost a lot of blood and is terribly weak. Every time she has woken up, she has never once been fully aware of her situation. And I'm certain you know you will not be able to have a conversation until she is fully conscious. That is your aim, is it not? To pursue a sensible dialogue?"
The man clenched his jaws but lowered his head slightly, thus indicating his agreement, though unwilling. Nevertheless, it was all Hank required. Turning to Scott, who'd been waiting behind him, he warned: "I need to discuss a few details with Creed, Scott. We'll join everyone for lunch as soon as possible."
"What're ya babblin' 'bout?"
The usual distrust shone in the man's amber eyes.
"I'll explain in a moment. If you will follow me..."
He did, promptly. Expectation and curiosity gave themselves away freely as Hank closed his lab's door and motioned him to a seat. Nevertheless, the blond held his tongue and waited, with anxious patience.
"As I've stated, Isabel has yet to recover consciousness of what has befallen her. And I admit I'm not certain when that will be... Perhaps next time she awakens, perhaps not." Creed's mouth closed to a thin line. "However, I believe there may be something I can do to help stabilise her current condition. Unfortunately, I lack the necessary information to do so."
He narrowed his eyes, a suspicious frown growing above them.
"What d'ya wanna know?"
"What is your psychological evaluation of Isabel's character?" The frown deepened considerably. "Have you witnessed any situation where Isabel might have shown an unstable, erratic or obsessive behaviour?"
"What are ya talkin' 'bout?"
Hank should have known he'd have to offer some information before getting any himself.
"During her stay, Isabel has so far displayed a great deal of distrust, determination and placid reserve." Hank consciously omitted apprehension. "But in her current condition, she has exhibited a tendency for obsessive behaviour. She asks about her baby repeatedly and becomes agitated, sometimes violently so."
Creed's cautious lack of reaction told Hank the man was not surprised.
"I take it you find it a normal behaviour."
"Some folks get violent when they ain't themselves," he shrugged.
"Especially when they are frightened or feel under attack," Hank pointed out. "And Isabel has apparently experienced a similar stressful situation. How does she usually react to stressful situations?"
Creed laid back on the chair and said nothing.
"Were you upset in anyway with her pregnancy? Perhaps it wasn't the best timing..."
The man's angry eyes glanced about the room in a show of annoyed disrespect, but once more said nothing.
"Why do you wish to talk to Isabel? What do you intend to ask her?"
A half-sneer of contempt.
"If you truly wish to talk to her, Creed, it would be wise to answer my questions."
Hank knew the veiled threat would get the man's attention, and he wasn't even surprised by the snarl, though he hadn't expected the man to suppress it half-way.
"So, what do you wish to converse with Isabel?"
There was a stiff silence before the man grumbled the answer.
"I wanna know why she ain't told no one nuthin' 'bout her bein' pregnant an' stuff."
Oh. Then that was an interview to be delayed as much as possible.
"Were you..." Wait, focusing on the man might have the opposite effect of the veiled threat. "I mean, could Isabel have thought you were upset with the pregnancy or its timing?"
He shrugged.
"Ask her. I ain't no telepath t'know what she thinks an' don't thinks."
"She has been frightened recently, not to mention she's been under a great deal of stress."
"Well, 'course she has! Ya told her kid she's afraid o' me!"
Hank bit back a sigh of impatience.
"Can you think of any other..."
"Ask. Her."
Hank took a deep breath to control his own growing irritation.
"I would certainly have if she were awake and conscious. As it is, I'm asking you. Now I suggest you start cooperating."
Creed clenched his teeth, hopefully forcing himself into greater cooperation.
"I don't go about imaginin' reasons fer the woman's actions, McCoy. I wanna know what's goin' on in her head, I asks her. If she ain't in no state t'answer, then ya gotta wait, same as I do."
Not satisfying, but cooperative enough.
"Very well. You've stated she can get violent when upset..."
A sudden wave of alarm flowed through the man's countenance.
"I ain't said nuthin' o' the sort!"
Curious reaction.
"Some people get violent when they aren't themselves, your words. I had just informed you Isabel had had a violent outburst, so it follows that Isabel can get violent when she's upset and 'not herself'."
The man swallowed and closed a fist.
"Isabel ain't violent."
"So this outburst I've mentioned is uncharacteristic and surprising, isn't it?" His clenched teeth indicated a conflict of ideas. What was he holding back? "Or is it?"
"She ain't violent."
"I see."
Hank took a deep breath. Creed would not be much more cooperative, he was now certain. But what if he upped the stakes? If he truly had feelings for Isabel, he might be willing to be more open to get to her.
"Creed, if you answer me honestly, I will consider giving you leave to see Isabel as soon as she regains consciousness. You may even sit by her side until she wakes up, if you so desire."
He didn't mention he would not be allowed to ask any questions that hadn't been previously sanctioned. The offer had a profound impact, nevertheless, as Creed took a couple deep breaths, looked about and adjusted himself in the seat. His heartbeat was much faster than normal and there were other signs of anxiety that did not escape Hank's eye. Perhaps Emma really was on to something.
"Have you ever seen or heard of Isabel becoming violent for whatever reason?"
The man literally held his breath, frowning and avoiding eye contact.
"She don't usually loses her cool, no matter what."
Why did the man insist on circumventing the question of Isabel's potential for violence? After all, he viewed violence as a normal part of everyday life. Why the... oh.
"Has she ever become violent against herself?" The man's mouth became a sudden thin line and the frown deepened, teeth still clenched. "Has she ever made any attempt on her life? Creed, this is of the highest importance! If Isabel has a historical of suicide attempts, even if only when she's not herself... especially if when she's not herself, then you must say so immediately!"
"She ain't gonna kill herself, ya moron!"
The reaction seemed honest enough. On the other hand, if it reflected the man's beliefs rather than the reality...
"Has Isabel ever had a suicidal episode or recklessly endangered her life due to being upset?"
"She ain't gonna kill herself!" Creed got up, anger simmering. "Ya know what, I don't give a damn what ya consider or don't consider. Ya wanna know stuff 'bout Isabel, ya ask her directly. It's all none of yer business, anyways! All ya gotta do is get her back on her feet, period. Go play the shrink with somebody else!"
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