Ok, little early this week because I won't be able to post it between tomorrow and next Saturday, and since the chapter was ready, I didn't want to keep you guys waiting! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one, it's a lot shorter but hopefully you'll like it that way ^^

Startled wasn't a strong enough word to describe how Rhys felt watching Feyre walk quickly to the end of the street and turn left towards the main avenue. He rose a hand to his cheek, almost burning from where she'd kissed him before leaving him at the door.

He stood in the cold for a moment, unable to stop staring at the spot where she'd disappeared. Only minutes ago, they'd been sharing a passionate kiss on the couch, her hands on his chest and his exploring the skin of her back. His body had gone into a turmoil when she'd started undoing his shirt, and he had been toying with the idea of taking off her bra when she'd suddenly retracted away from him. He closed the front door and went into the kitchen, mindlessly starting to wash the dishes of their earlier meal, but only thinking about Feyre. Despite what she'd said to him, he knew he must have had crossed some sort of boundary for her to react that way. Maybe it had been a small thing that had set her off, maybe it had been that she wasn't feeling safe with him, maybe she didn't want to have someone touch her like that. From the very few hints she'd given him, he knew her last relationship had ended in a nasty breakup, but he hadn't gathered enough to have a clear idea of what had gone on between her and her ex, and how she felt about it now. He could only try to guess what had sent her running away, and he felt awful for it, for not being able to understand and adjust his behavior. For now, all he could do was leave her some space and hope that she wasn't done with him quite yet. His phone lit up on the kitchen counter and interrupted his train of thoughts, he reached for it to see a text from Feyre.

Feyre, 00:27 : I just got home. Thank you for a lovely evening. I'm sorry about the way I left, I just needed some time. Talk tomorrow?

He smiled a bit at her text. It didn't help him understand what he might have done to upset her, but at least she wasn't shutting him out completely, she seemed ready to still talk to him, if not more.

00:29 : Thank you for being a lovely person. And you don't need to apologize to me for doing what's best for you. We can talk whenever you want. Sweet dreams, Feyre.

She had crawled into bed the second she'd gotten into her apartment. Staring at Rhys' answer, she hesitated for about a minute before deciding to call Alis.

"Feyre?" Her voice sounded sleepy on the other end of the line.

"Hey Alis, I'm sorry to call you this late, I was just hoping we could talk for a while if you don't mind?"

"Feyre, I told you that you could call me day or night, of course we can talk. What's up?"

"I… I had a date tonight."

"Oh?" Alis wasn't pushing her, she was never pushing her when Feyre called her like that. Sometimes, they would stay on the phone without talking, sometimes Alis would talk about her day in excruciating details, sometimes Feyre would only cry for an hour without giving an explanation. Alis always seemed to know what her friend needed most when she was feeling down. And the bad days felt a bit less awful when she called Alis.

"Do you remember the man I was talking to last week when we met at the pub near Clare's work?"

"The gorgeous tall dude from the bar? Yeah I remember him."

Feyre chuckled at the description and continued:

"I saw him a few times since then, and I was at his house tonight." She paused for a few seconds, not really knowing how to put words to describe her reaction. "I didn't feel well, so I left."

"What happened? Was he a bit too forward?"

"Oh no Alis, the evening was wonderful. We ate this delicious dinner he'd prepared, and we talked of much more personal stuff that we had before, like our families and all. We actually ended up… making out on his couch for a bit." She couldn't suppress the hint of a smile at the memory. The smile was immediately swallowed by a wave of guilt, and she bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"Fey-re ! You go on dates with handsome men you meet at pubs, make out with them, and then you wait like a week to tell me about it?" Alis' tone was being falsely offended, and Feyre laughed softly at her reaction. Alis knew how to make people relax and open up about what was eating them up, and Feyre was no exception. She retorted that she had indeed called the second she got home, and fell quiet again as she was gathering her thoughts.

"It was great honestly, I really like this guy, he's nice and sweet, and he's gentle and he's understanding. I feel good when I'm around him."

"So what's wrong?"

"I don't know, it's just we were talking and then we started kissing, and I realized how much I enjoyed it, and I wanted more with him. Alis I really want to have sex with him."

Alis laughed at her answer but then repeated :

"So what's wrong then? Why didn't you?"

"I don't know, suddenly I started thinking about… About Tamlin. I mean, we've only been apart for a few months, and I know I'm the one who left him, but I still care about him. I think. I mean, when I was kissing Rhys earlier, I wasn't thinking about Tamlin at all at first, and then it just all came to me, and I felt so bad, I had to leave. "

"'Rhys'? Cute name. Anyway, listen to me Feyre. First of all, Tamlin is a piece of shit unworthy of you, who tried to tame your spirits and keep you away from the people you love for a year. You know what I think about him, you were right to leave him and in no circumstance should you feel ashamed of your decision. Second, you have no reason whatsoever to feel bad or guilty about wanting this guy. You left Tamlin nearly three months ago now, it's okay to enjoy yourself with someone else! You wanna sleep with this guy? Sleep with him, you'll feel better afterwards."

Feyre laughed. That was such a typical reaction of Alis, making detailed lists for everything, including her friends' love life.

"I don't know if I'm ready to go that far with him. I like him but…" But sleeping with him would make it real somehow, this connection between them, this attraction and this ease she felt around him. Flirting with him, exchanging quick kisses after lunch, texting with him, that was one thing. Letting him come any closer, talking to him about her family, and Tamlin, and how she felt about all of it, that was something else completely, something she wasn't sure she was ready to face yet. There were still too many nights when she went to sleep crying, too many mornings when she didn't want to get out of bed, too many encounters with friends when she felt herself drifting away from the conversation to stare blankly at nothing. Dragging this man into it, this wonderful man that had been only moments of joy and fun since they'd met, dragging him into the mess that was her life, she didn't know if she was ready for this. She couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence, but Alis seemed to understand and said:

"I know it's hard for you, Feyre, letting people in. You shouldn't rush into anything if you don't feel at ease with it, but maybe don't shut this guy out completely?"

"I know, I don't want to shut him out. I don't know what I want."

They both stayed silent for a moment before Feyre breathed:

"I'll let you get back to sleep, Alis. Thank you for talking."

"No problems, Feyre, you know I'm here for you. Try to get some sleep, and call me again if you need to."

Feyre bid her good night and hung up, turning off her lights to sleep as Alis had suggested. But sleep wasn't about to come easily tonight.

She'd spent so long trying to move past Tamlin and the way he had acted with her, trying to sort through her mixed feelings of guilt for leaving him so abruptly, and relief at the idea that she was free. She was still sorting through all of this, and the way she felt when she saw Rhys certainly didn't help her clarify her thoughts. Whenever they met, it was as if she was glowing. There was the rush of the discovery, of course, the classic emotions of giddiness and desire present at the beginning of every new relationship. But she couldn't help but sensing that there was more to it. She'd been able to ignore it fairly easily at first, but tonight, their proximity, the way they'd sat so close they had shared breath, talking about their childhood with no difficulty,... Feyre never spoke about her teenage years to anyone, she didn't like people seeing her like the poor little fourteen years old girl that had stepped into every business of the town to find work. But she didn't mind Rhys knowing about her past. And she'd delighted in their kisses too. She could still feel the brush of his hands sliding up her back, of his tongue exploring her mouth softly as she'd ruffled his hair. She could still see how she'd been on the verge of giving in completely to the sensations when her thoughts had made her back away. It wasn't just the fact that she was attracted to someone else that had made Feyre feel so guilty she'd run out of his house at light speed, it was the fact that she was attracted to him in particular. Because she knew it wasn't just plain physical attraction between them. She knew that if she let herself act on it, it could grow into… something more. And this, more than the simple fact of sleeping with him, felt like a betrayal, somehow.

She fell asleep with that thought in mind, still unsure of how to figure out the mess that was her life currently, but certain that she was not ready to let Rhys slip away from it.