I feel like my face is a catchers mitt, and my throat is killing me! So please be gentle on this chapter, Im half drunk of nyquil. To everyone who reviews but I cant get back to you because you are a guest, thank you so much. You all are amazing. Alright. FINALLY! The date. Hope you guys like this, like I said, half delirious on a sinus infection and all the nice syrups Docs got me on and over the counter goodies. lol
Jane couldn't believe that Maura stood in her apartment in an exquisite white suit with emerald trim, emerald heals, and her hair down, and flowing slightly wild. Jane found their role reversals quite refreshing. She let her self-feel, and allowed herself to live in the moment, take it all in. Take in the effort Maura had gone through. In retrospect Maura in 2 days had done more for this one date than any one has ever done for her in the past. Maura tried for Jane, and Jane loved it. She absolutely adored it. When she saw the look in Maura's eyes, the slight parting in Maura's lips as she saw Jane, the detective knew this night would change everything for them. Before it was a feeling, now it was certainty.
Maura had treated her equally, she met Jane move for move in their little ritual of hello they had just gone through, and not for one moment was Jane uncomfortable. She was nervous as hell yes, but not uncomfortable. When Maura took her hand in the car, Jane smiled because she thought it would have been a gesture of thanks for opening her door, treating her right, and good.
Nope. As Maura's lips slid over her scared hand, kissed the rough and elevated skin that marred her flesh, her heart stopped, her breathing seemed as if it was sucked from her, and she felt a sensation shoot from her heart to her core. The gesture was so innocent, so loving, but to Jane the action shot through her a wave of soft desire. It was as if that desire was a caress on the insides of Jane's soul. When Maura didn't look at her, she knew the cinnamon blonde was just as unsettled by the move as Jane had been.
Jane closed her eyes, looked out the windshield and prayed she could control herself this evening, because if Maura pulled another move like that, she would not be held accountable for her actions, whether they would be sweetly chaste, or unhinged passion. Throughout all her thoughts, her inner turmoil, she never let go of Maura's hand. She grasped it like a lifeline. It was when she took a deep breath and looked down to the hands in her lap, that she realized Maura held her just as tightly as Jane held her.
"What will we be seeing?" Jane asked trying to smooth out some of the sexual tension in the car.
"Sleeping Beauty," Maura said as she let go to turn the wheel, but her hand found Jane's immediately. It made Jane smile. "It was the earliest show I could get on notice, and decent seats," Maura explained looking over at Jane with a smirk.
"I'm happy with Sleeping Beauty Maura. It's different for me, hell going to the ballet is different for me, but I would love to try and see how this goes," Jane said but squeezed Maura's hand. At the red light, Maura looked over to Jane and saw the double meaning behind her words. Maura was about to speak when a horn blared behind her. She smiled and continued driving.
When they pulled up to a different building other than the auditorium from yesterday Jane looked over to Maura as she paid for parking.
"Maur, why aren't we going to the other place? Ya know, the auditorium from yesterday?" Jane asked looking around at the different setting.
"I'm very sure they didn't want the performers distracted by the closed balcony, and the fact that someone they knew had died where they danced. Takes a different meaning to dancing on someone's grave wouldn't it?" Maura explained.
"No kidding," Jane sighed as they pulled into the parking spot.
Jane opened her door, and then walked around the car. Maura was out of the car before she could open her door, and Jane smiled when Maura took Jane's arm and led them to where they had to be. The admittance staff scanned her phone for her online tickets, and then Maura walked her and Jane toward a grand stairway. Jane looked at Maura as she began to climb. Jane hated heels, and hated walking in heels, much less climbing in heels but as Maura let go of Jane's arm her hand slipped into Jane's larger and they smiled to the other. Once to the top of the stairway, Maura then led them down into another section. When they walked into the area Maura explained they were to sit, Jane looked around amazed. Balcony seats. Jane could see everything, the orchestra, the stage, and even the way the lighting hits certain areas of the hall. Jane looked around at everything with a detective's eye never noticing Maura calmly sitting there next to her, reading the program, and from time to time looking over to the excited woman.
Jane finally settled back and placed her hands over her stomach fingers laced together, with a huge smile on her face.
"I don't care what we watch this is already awesome," Jane said to Maura. Jane finally looked over to her friend and saw the other woman watching her, head resting on her hand propped up at the elbow on the farther arm rest posture open, almost lounging, and grinning at the brunette. Immediately Jane was self-conscious.
"What?" Jane asked defensively straightening her posture and looked down at her hands.
"I have never seen you so excited before," Maura then laughed as she shifted, "Excited over something that was not a Red Sox game I mean," Maura laughed when she saw Jane nod in confirmation.
"Well, I have never been to a place like this, on a date before," Jane twiddled her thumbs nervously, "I usually go out for drinks, maybe dinner. Nothing fancy, just talking," Jane said explaining her dating history.
"You do realize we could have done just that if this is something you would have preferred to have done on a second date?" Maura asked. Jane's gaze found Maura's.
"You want a second date?" Jane asked. Maura reached over to Jane's hands and laced hers with Jane's fidgeting fingers.
"I want a second, a third, a thirtieth," Maura lowered her voice and leaned into Jane and whispered into Jane's ear, "I want to date you Jane. I want so very much more than one evening with you," Maura leaned back from whispering into Jane's ear. Jane was left speechless. Jane didn't know that. She knew Maura felt strongly about her, but she didn't know that Maura wanted more than a single date, a trial run, with Jane. Jane swallowed as hazel eyes bore into her own. Maura wanted so much more than Jane had given to anyone else. Maura wanted a possibility, Maura wanted a future. Jane swallowed and clasped Maura's hand entwining their fingers.
"Maura…" Jane was cut off, but the lights dimmed, and the show began.
From the moment the first curtain lifted Jane was mesmerized. She watched and took it all in. She fell into the story, she gasped when lifts, and spins were executed as if the dancers could fly. She smiled in joy, and stifled tears as the grace and beauty became too much. Jane had never had such an emotional experience from simply watching people dance. It was crazy, it was wonderful. Jane loved it.
OOOoooOOOooo
Maura's heart beat in her throat as she said those words to Jane and saw what looked like hope in Jane's eyes. Jane watched everything on the stage. Maura had seen Sleeping Beauty before, and was not as thrilled as Jane, so she watched the detective more than the dancers. Jane sat on the edge of her seat in some instances especially when the dances became more physically demanding. Maura felt her lips pull into a smile when she watched her friend gasp and point like a little girl. It was the most unguarded, and innocent, even carefree, she had ever seen Jane.
She had a feeling that Jane's tough façade was nothing more than that, a mask, a character she chooses to play so she can be one of the boys in squad. Maura had that inkling when Jane danced with her, then let Maura lead her. Maura often wondered if Jane wouldn't just like someone to take over, or take control, or lead if not for once in a while. She was always leading her team, and being a role model for Frankie, and even handling Angela's crazy antics and taking care of her. The world seemed to sit firmly on Jane's shoulders as if she were the mighty Atlas. But her Jane was simply human, simply one person, and simply a woman who rarely let's go, and is just that, simple. Even baseball games are complicated and serious.
When the lights came back on and the cast took their bows Maura smile as Jane sprang to her feet applauding just like the rest of the audience. Maura stood next to Jane and watched loving the fact that she was able to give this moment to her friend. Maura and Jane sat back down and waited for the crowd to thin out and gave Jane a moment to gather her thoughts from her excitement.
"Wow," Jane breathed grinning from ear to ear. Maura let the woman take her hand as Jane stood clearly indicating it was time to get moving. "That was more fun that I thought it was going to be," Jane jabbered honestly.
"I am happy you liked it," Maura said as she walked with Jane's hand in the crook of her arm as they took the stairs down.
"I would love to come back again," Jane mused contentedly as she slipped into the passenger seat buckling up. Then Jane took out her phone and texted someone then put her phone down. Maura lifted an eyebrow as she began to reverse from her parking spot.
"I want Frost to check on one the dancers. She looked like Corrine Little. I didn't know she was a dancer. She didn't say anything about it," Jane told Maura. Maura stared at Jane for a moment, then blinked as she began to merge with traffic and drove her date home.
"I didn't know you were working," Maura said casually. Truthfully it rather hurt that Jane had used their date as an in to the Ballet to work. It stung rather painfully. Maura lost in her thoughts felt Jane's hand on her arm. When she came to a red light she didn't look at Jane, but the woman squeezed Maura's arm getting her attention.
"I wasn't. I promise, but it's something I couldn't pass up. I wanted to text Frost immediately, but then the scene changed, and I told myself to do it later," Jane bit her lips, "I also only wanted to spend time with just you. Share that with just you," Jane's voice lowered as she tried to explain to Maura and the doctor took a breath and then nodded.
"I suppose I would have done the same thing," Maura said beginning to understand. Then Jane's hand slid down her arm and took her hand. Maura smiled as she lightly pressed the gas pedal trying not to plunge the car forward in her knee-jerk reaction to the sensation she felt run through her body at Jane's hand in hers.
"Thank you, Maur," Maura heard and then another red light caught them, and it was a shock, right there on her right cheek. Her head spun, and brushed Jane's lips. The energy in the car surged. Maura watched as that pink tongue peeked out and wet Jane's lips, both leaned slowly.
BEEEP!
Maura jumped back and looked forward, both hands on the wheel as the car horn behind them blared at her to move. Her breathing fast and erratic. She drove forward, maybe a little under the speed limit, but she drove. She glanced over and saw Jane's chest heaving in shallow pants as well. They glanced at one another. Then away, then back to the other.
In an instant both women were in stitches. Laughter rang out in the car, and Jane waved her hand trying to breathe. Maura's eyes watered as she slowly pulled off to the right road toward Jane's apartment.
"Your face," Jane tried to say.
"My face, you couldn't breathe," Maura wheezed as her laughter almost prevented her from speaking. After a few miles of chuckles, their breathing eased, and the air in the car was less charged, Maura placed her hand on Jane's arm.
"Thank you for allowing me to take you on a date. I had so much fun with you tonight," Maura said truly happy.
"Are you ending the date before we even get to my apartment?" Jane's eyes twinkled at the question. Maura didn't know what to say, so she let her lips curl into a light smile as she shook her head.
"No, I just wanted you to know I liked doing this with you," Maura finally found words. They were not elegant, or classy, but they were the truth.
Finally, they parked, finally they made it to Jane's door, but that spark was back. They stood in front of Jane's door. Nerves prevented them from moving, prevented them from continuing.
"I'm nervous Maura," Jane whispered, as Jane finally unlocked her door, and opened it.
"I am too Jane," Maura confessed as she walked in and turned when the lights came on, and she turned to watch Jane triple lock her door and lean her back against it. Maura couldn't get over how Jane sometimes seemed to deflate when she realized she was safe from the big bad world. Safe from Hoyt, safe from muggers… safe from Maura's father. She wanted to make Jane safe, make her feel appreciated, and loved, and cared for.
With that last thought Maura walked over to Jane slowly and took the woman's hand pulling her over to the couch. Jane sat down at Maura's insistence. Jane protested when Maura walked back to the kitchen motioning for Jane to remain where she was. Maura opened the freezer and took out two pints of frozen yogurt that Jane kept there just for Maura. When Maura walked over to Jane she watched Jane's eyes brow lifted.
When Jane took her first bite, she merely moaned when she closed her eyes as the creamy substance began to slide down her throat. Maura smiled as she sat on the coffee table in front of Jane and reached down to Janes ankle and lifted the heeled feet onto her thighs. Jane's eyes popped open as she glanced toward Maura. Maura took an elegant bite from her own pint and Jane smiled as Maura's eyes lit up slightly and took a slightly larger bite than the last. Then Maura put the snack down. Maura began to unbuckle the straps to the heels on Jane's feet.
Maura slowly slipped the shoes off Jane's feet and smiled when Jane sighed, grinning. Maura looked down at the aching feet. She knew Jane was sore, she walked slower, her strides not as long and commanding. Then she slipped off her suit coat and rolled up her sleeves.
Maura closed her eyes as she heard the moan slip from Jane's lips as she ran her thumbs up the middle of Jane's tender feet. From the heel to the ball of her feet Maura applied pressure, dug in, massaged the ache that made Jane uncomfortable. She finished with the first foot, and then took the other one in her hands and then looked up at Jane. Dark eyes watched Maura. Jane's long frame was practically draped before her, sitting languid, so relaxed she slid an elegant arm behind her over the back of the couch above her head relaxed.
Maura could only think of this moment, but Jane in this posture in bed lounging on pillows. Maura squeezed and ran her thumbs up and out eliciting another sensual moan from Jane. Maura looked back to Jane and saw Jane's eyes closed biting her lower lip to keep from moaning again. Moans may not have come but small whimpers did, and Maura delighted in being able to milk those sound from Jane.
Once done Maura stood and slipped out of her own heals, she needed them to hold Jane's feet level to work on, and then sat next to Jane facing her on the couch. Jane sighed, and a Cheshire cat smile grew on her lips. Then her lips fell into a slight frown.
"Maur?" Jane asked as she searched Maura's hazel eyes, "What is love?" Jane rasped out into the space of the apartment. Maura flinched, she was not ready for such a conversation, was not expecting such a question from the ever-stoic woman.
"I… I don't know, Jane," Maura replied not lying but not entirely truthful. She had her own definition of love, she had her own standards or guidelines of what love is and how someone should or could love her. Jane met every standard and guideline, and then some. So she was unsure of what love meant with Jane. She surpassed every prerequisite she ever desired in a lover, in a mate, in a partner.
"What is love in your scientific google definition?" Jane asked as she rolled her head to look at Maura tenderly using the moniker and the doctor sighed. How in hell was she supposed to answer that? Then her mind flicked into stuffy scientist.
"Well, scientifically speaking, hormones act on numerous systems within the brain and receptors are present in a number of brain areas associated with romantic love. These receptors are triggered, and we experience 'love,'" Maura said using air quotes around the word love. She watched Jane as she dipped her spoon into her pint, took one last bite, then placed the lid back on the carton and placed the container on the table.
"No, that's not it," Jane said as she stood stretching realigning her back with small pops and shook out her legs and smiled as she stood on her toes.
"What do you mean?" Maura inquired watching Jane flex and shift her muscles. Jane looked back as she headed to the kitchen with desert, deposited the treat back in the freezer. Jane headed toward the bed room and simply smiled to Maura and shrugged going into the room. Maura heard the shower run, the shower curtain scrape on the shower rod. Maura listened as she envisioned everything Jane was going. She followed as she read drawers slam shut.
Maura followed Jane's path to the freezer and deposited her own dessert then Maura walked into the bedroom. She looked at the bed and saw her own pajamas she kept there just for emergencies laying on the bed. Maura smiled as she looked over to the dark headed woman wrapped up in a towel and took them to the bathroom. Maura hopped into the shower. She scrubbed off her makeup, washed out the mouse and hairspray. She brushed her teeth with her own guest toothbrush that Jane kept just for Maura. When she walked back out into the room Jane was laying on her back fingers drumming on her abdomen as she read.
Maura walked to the other side of the bed and settled in the bed next to Jane. Jane smiled, dogeared the page, and smiled when Maura rolled her eyes. Maura knew Jane knew she hated it when she did that to pages. Maura and Jane lay there next to the other both staring at the ceiling, then Maura felt Jane's hand cover her own under the blankets. Then Jane released her hand. The light turned out. Maura felt the bed shift as Jane rolled onto her side facing away from Maura.
"Your definition..." Jane paused, "it's not it because I feel so much more than that," Jane whispered away from Maura. Maura wanted to reach out, to shake the woman, to hold the woman. But when Jane is like this, when Jane is feeling deeply, one simply can't rush her. But Maura's heart hammered in her chest. She was still technically on a date with Jane but her heart, her soul, and insecurities screamed that this was not real, it couldn't be happening.
"About who?" Maura's voice pitched and then she cleared her throat, "Who do you feel like that about?" Maura said softly trying not to scare the detective from her. Hoping… Hoping…
OOOoooOOOooo
"You," Jane's eyes clenched shut. Too much, too fast she told herself. Sure, she had the woman, no partner whether female or male in her bed, waiting for her. She waited, listened to Maura's breathing and part of her fell to the floor, dropped and shattered to the hard wood floors.
The bed moved. A body shifted. Arms slid over Jane's ribs, around her waist and a warm soft body pressed into her back. Jane took one of Maura's hands and laced their fingers together. For Jane it was enough. Maura didn't run, Maura stayed with her.
For Maura it was almost too much as she let silent tears fall to the pillow. Maura loved Jane, but she never thought that Jane would love her back.
"Can you hold me?" Jane asked as she linked their fingers together. Jane swallowed at her weakness, and her vulnerability. Then she felt Maura pull her back to the center of the bed. Wrap her arms around her tightly. She felt Maura's lips kiss her shoulder blade where her skin was not covered by her tank top. Jane's eyes squeezed shut as Maura's lips slipped and slid from her shoulder blade to her neck. The hair on her arms stood as Maura pressed her entire body against Jane, pulling Jane into her arms tightly.
"I will never let go," Maura whispered in her ear. Jane sighed as Maura wrapped around her, held her protected her.
"Thank you," Jane's voice thick. Maura simply soothed the hair from Jane's temple, making sure the Jane's hair was swept from Jane's face, and Maura curled into her.
"Jane?" Maura asked, and Jane could hear the hesitancy in her tone, "I feel so much more too."
Jane squeezed Maura's fingers letting Maura know she was heard. Both women sighed. Sleep claimed them. Sleep transported them both to each other in their dreams. For tonight this was enough. For tonight this was a perfect conclusion to a perfect evening.