"Doctor?"

Nirvana looked up to see curly hair and brown eyes. "Hello, Jervis."

"May I sit with you still?"

"Please."

Jervis sat beside her, seeing her pick at her lunch and the darkness shrouding her eyes. He pulled open his bag lunch and pulled out a sandwich and pulled off the plaatic wrap and took a bite. They stayed in silence for a little while. "My head hurts." Nirvana spoke plainly, eyes seeming unfocused.

"You need some of your medicine?" Jervis questioned, holding up a hand as he chewed his food so as not to give her an unwanted show. Nirvana shook her head.

"As pathetic as it sounds, I'm just upset and stressed," she answered quietly. "My therapy was with him." She didn't need to clarify who 'him' was. Jervis searched her features.

"He will get his due justice. His pride shattered and busted," he looked at her food, "You must eat, doctor, if you're looking to get up to fighting weight." She simply shook her head. The food was either raw where it shouldn't or crunchy where it shouldn't. The first bite had almost made her gag. Jervis dug through his bag, peeking inside. He pulled out an apple and handed it to her. She took it and looked at it. It wasn't rotten or even soft. At least something was edible.

"I don't want to take your food, Mr. Tetch."

"I don't mind, Ms. Nelson," Jervis wouldn't take the apple back and she knew that. So she took a bite and the loud snap came back. She chewed quietly. "So therapy with him didn't go well?"

"No."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Tired," Nirvana commented plainly and then thought about it further, "Afraid."

"Afraid, white rabbit?" Jervis watched as she rose the apple to her lips again and take another large bite before lowering it once more. "Afraid of the Scarecrow?" She still didn't answer him, and he tutted. "You have nothing to fear, my dear. He is weak within these walls." Nirvana shook her head at his words, with coming from her lips.

"I know. I just-" she decided to drop the conversation then though, shrugging her shoulders, "I'm going to go see if they'll let me trade this shit out for a bag lunch. I'll be right back." She stood up from her spot beside him and grabbed her tray before carrying it away. Jervis looked after her, and as she walked away, from the other side, he saw a visitor come to steal her space.

"Tetch."

Mr. Crane. It's good to see you again," Jervis greeted as the man sat down across from him.

...

"Hey, I'm sorry. Is it okay if I trade this out?"

"Of course, Doctor!"

"Just call me Nirvana."

The young man behind the counter took the tray from her hands and handed her a small brown bag excitedly. She took it gingerly, eyeing the boy suspiciously before peeking inside the bag.

"Thanks."

"Nirvana, I always thought you were the best doctor here, I was devastated when I heard you were missing a year ago. And then all that at the hospital?" He leaned forward and said the last part quietly, as if it was a secret between the two of them. "Also, you look great. Some people probably don't like the orange eyes, but I think they're just beautiful." Nirvana backed up slightly.

"Thank you..." Nirvana spoke gently, "What's your name?"

"Don't you remember? My name's Danny, Danny Bartho."

"That's right, I'm sorry it's been so long since I've seen your face," Nirvana lied, she lied coolly like she needed to. Because this kid was weird. "Danny, have a good day, okay?"

"Yes ma'am!" He chirped excitedly, which made Nirvana give a small yet uncomfortable smile. She turned away from the counter, having to blonk away the absolute uncomfortable feeling she just got from that very strange man. However her whole body went cold when she looked back over to see Jervis and Jonathon having a very in depth conversation.

...

Both men watched each other as they waited for Nirvana to have their back turned to them. "What do you think you're doing?" Jonathon spoke with absolute ice in his voice. He was mad about Nirvana just skipping out of therapy and now to see her talking to Jervis again? He was livid.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean?" Jervis asked politely, but his eyes looked unsettling and knowing.

"Yes you do," Jonathon answered coolly, "But I'll remind you. Why are you talking to Nirvana?"

"Oh that? Well," Jervis leaned forward and looked deeply into Jonathon's eyes, "That is because I know how much it'll bother you, my dear Scarecrow. Do you think I've forgotten about this experiments? The only reason I'm here is because I'd surely be missed."

"And now I'm seriously regretting making that decision."

A hum of a chuckle escaped the lips of the Hatter. "I would delight in nothing more than chatting, old friend. But I'm afraid our chat must come to an end." Jervis looked away from Crane to see Nirvana making her way back over to the pair. However, Crane made no movement to get up or move away. His eyes studied her as she approached, and it infuriated her. A storm was brewing between them, and it would not cease until something was done about it. Nirvana made a quick turn and sat down at a different table entirely. It wasn't empty, but anyone, anything, was better. The current occupant looked up at her, head tilted to the side. She looked at him with daggers shooting out of her eyes.

"Dr. Nelson."

"Dr. Meredith," Nirvana relaxed, but not much. The blonde male looked away from her, uninterested to the point of boredom. She really had to think to herself... How many Arkham doctors now sat behind these walls?

"Who are you hiding from?"

"Dr. Crane."

He tutted quietly, but nodded before turning his eyes back down to the metal table. She turned her eyes to look back to her old table, watching the men look at one another. The only emotion she could describe on Jervis' face was hate. Complete and total hate, yet a smile was still on his lips.

...

"Listen to me," Crane explained darkly as he watched Nirvana turn and move away. "Stay away from Nirvana. I don't know what sick fantasy you're trying to fulfill by using her, but I can see it."

"I don't know what you're insinuating, but I can say I find it very insulting," Jervis spoke with a tone of hurt to his voice. "The thing here is a mutual benefit. That's all I want from Dr. Nelson."

"For what?"

"None of your business, nosey beast. Nothing you need to concern yourself with in the least," Jervis stated calmly, smile growing across his features. There was silence between the two of them then. And it lasted for a moment. But Crane finally broke the quiet.

"It probably has to do with your sickness," Crane was more thinking to himself than talking to Jervis at this point. Jervis stayed quiet still, but his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "You're looking for something. Maybe your hat? Maybe your card. Something to keep your obsession still in tact..." Jervis rolled his eyes at his feeble guess. "Maybe something from- Oooh." Crane's face grew it's own smirk, blue eyes suddenly holding a spark. "You want the hair you got from the last Alice? Don't you?"

The stillness between them could silence everyone around them. The atmosphere had turned into a minefield in seconds. Jervis didn't say anything, but he didn't have too. Jonathon had figured it out.

"How pathetic. Pinning after a dead woman," the Scarecrow was holding this conversation now. "Or maybe you want it for... Other reasons," he looked pointedly down to Jervis' lap. Jervis' fist slammed down on the metal table suddenly, making a loud BANG echo through the hall before his hands snaked forward and grabbed Crane's scrubs and pulling him forward.

"Shall we really talk about pathetic, doctor? Hmm?" Jervis spoke with a grin spread across his face, but eyes darted between blue eyes. "You want so desperately for us to be different. But from where I sit," his eyes darted past Crane's head to where Nirvana stood up now, watching the scene, "We are -exactly- the same."

"THAT'S ENOUGH," a guard's voice came loudly across the hall and some of the cafeteria seemed with sudden activity. Screaming, laughter, clanking of metal trays and chewing. Nirvana watched as two guards moved over to the men. Jervis let go of Crane's scrubs and put his hands up innocently. Time to be put back in his cell, he knew that already. Nirvana caught the face of Miles who approached Crane and pulled him up from his seat roughly.

"I didn't lay a hand on him," he explained curtly, but Miles still pushed him forward. Jervis studied as Crane was pushed away from the table and escorted out of the cafeteria. He rest his hands back down to the table. Was he... Not getting escorted back to his cell?

Nirvana watched as Jonathon was escorted out, Miles purposely walking past her table. She had to contain the smirk that threatened her lips as he looked at her. The eye contact they made could melt metal. When he was fullu gone, she got up, and moved back over to Jervis' table. When she sat down, she looked at him expectantly.

"Gentleman's quarrel, white rabbit. Not something to dwell on," Jervis spoke quietly, still waiting.

"Mm," she answered simply. She opened her bag and pulled out the sandwich. She opened it up and took a bite. Reaching in the bag again, she pulled out her apple and set it down in front of him. "They're not taking you, relax."

"It's so strange, isn't it?" Jervis spoke calmly, taking the apple and taking a bite out of it.

"Not really. The guards have been giving Crane a hard time since we got here," Nirvana answered, not giving him much more of an answer. He didn't need to know the full details. They enjoyed the rest of their lunch in peaceful silence, though Jervis would occasionally eye her suspiciously but didn't say anything further. Both finished eating at the same time, and when the guards hollered at the crowd of patients, they walked together to the rec room. Jervis curled up in his own corner, book in his hands and Nirvana was surprised to see him to calmly engulf himself in something. She saw a pile of familiar white journals and a grip of unbreakable white pens. She grabbed two journals and one pen and moved into her own chair. It was still relatively close to Jervis, he was a familiar comfort now. He wasn't safe and he couldn't be trusted, but familiar? He definitely was. She opened the cover of the book and took her pen and immediately started to doodle.

It was hats and eyes and circles and clouds. Nothing specific, and nothing that said anything. The pen traveled across the paper without much thought at some points, and she was only pulled out of her thoughts when someone poked her back. She breathed in and looked to see Jervis sit next to her. "They're good. You like to draw and sketch?"

"It was all I had to do when I was-you know. In any case, I found it's pretty therapeutic," she answered, looking at the book he had in his hands. "Done reading already?"

"I only read a chapter a day so I don't get through it too fast," Jervis answered honestly. She read the title of the book.

"You know, I never actually read the books. I saw the cartoon, but I didn't do much fiction reading," she nodded towards the book cover. It said 'Through The Looking Glass' in faded gold letters.

"That is absolutely unacceptable, Dr. Nelson!" He exclaimed as if insulted by her words. "You must read it, it is an amazing story. And you may relate to it more than you know!"

"Is that the first one?" She rose a brow at his reaction, sideways smile on her lips.

"No, silly rabbit," he shook his head, getting up from his spot and going to the bookshelf. He rummaged through it for a moment before a "there we are!" And Jervis moving back over with another book in his hand. It seemed to have a lot more wear and tear than the first one he had. He slid it over to her, and she took it up in her hands. She inspected the gold lettering, also faded, and opened the first pages.

"Can I take it to my cell?"

"No... But if you do not tell, neither will I," Jervis said with mischief. How much trouble could she really get into over a book? She flipped open the first page and he was delighted to see her jumping right into it. Only 5 minites in, he asks quietly, "How do you like it so far?"

"I hate it."

"What!?"

"I'm only 15 pages in Jervis. Give me 5 more minutes to really decide," Nirvana laughed gently, hoping Jervis understood she was joking. She kept reading in silence, only looking up when someone dropped a box of safe crayons before her eyes went back to the book. Another five minutes passed and Jervis peeked over her shoulder. "I'm not sure I can read this, Mr. Tetch. It's not really my cup of tea."

"Was that pun?" Jervis asked, looking pleased with her wording.

"Yes, but I'm being honest this time," she explained, closing the book with her thumb marking the page.

"Why is that?"

"The wording is a little too... Simple. I should have read it when I was little so I could appreciate it like you do. I think this would be best if I listened to someone read it to me," she explained honestly, and Jervis immediately got stars in his eyes.

"I can read it to you, this and Looking Glass too," he offered, but he seemed excited.

"Would you mind starting over since you're already reading the second one?"

"Not at all, White Rabbit, in fact I would be honored to do so," at his words she passed over the book with careful hands, taking her thumb out from between. "I'll start over for you."

This was easy. He was easy, to see all those things going on behind those brown eyes. Get him comfortable, show him decency, and most of all, at this point, listen to him talk. She pulled her journal over to her, grabbing the pen and doodling again. She listened to his voice, using it as a tether as she drew. Soon the page held a rabbit, a simple yet realistic rabbit. The tips of it's ears were darkened while the rest stayed as white as the pages. It definitely was better being read to her rather than her reading it to herself. Jervis was animated, obviously in love with the tale. "I like how she went to check the bottle to see if it was marked as poison, but it was still her drinking from a bottle with strange liquid inside it."

"Very irresponsible," Jervis added with a tutting sound.

"Very very irresponsible."

He continued to read all the way until the third chapter when the guards called the patients to attention. Dinner time already? She looked down at her paper, seeing that it was filled with flowers and small bottles and cookies that said 'Eat Me'. And in the middle of it all, was the white rabbit. "Very nice, Doctor Nelson. Do you mind if I keep that one?" She mindlessly ripped it out of the journal, though careful not to rip it, and handed it to him. "Ah, thank you for something new."

"You're welcome," she replied absently, a little too late in the conversation. "Thanks for reading that to me. It is definitely more interesting hearing it from someone who has a passion for it." Jervis gave a more genuine smile, though it was small, it still made Nirvana smile. Jervis closed the book, and moved it over to the side.

"Did you like being a doctor here?"

"I did. I did very much," Nirvana answered honestly. "I felt like I was finally doing what I was born to do."

"Helping people?"

"That, but I also felt like I belonged here. Arkham has been such a stain on the list of mental health facilities. I wanted to pull it up, shine it, and make it better. Could you imagine if all of these people really got the help they needed?" Nirvana looked out to the rest of the room, watching as some read, some colored, and some simply stared at walls or off into the distance. "I don't think I could fix all these people, but if I would have been given the chance?" She breathed out and a smile graced her lips, "I could have really done something here, Mr. Tetch."

"You could have," he answered, "But then Mr. Crane took it all away."

"Yes, he did."

"I'm sorry he did that to you, White Rabbit," he mused gently, "I hope when you get the chance, you make it hurt." Nirvana blinked, surprised to find a bit of wetness under her eye. She took a finger and wiped it away. She wasn't really hiding it, but it wasn't something somebody would see across the room. Just a single drop of a single tear.

"I will."

...

Dinner had been quiet and it was over relatively quick. Afterwards, all inmates were escorted back to their rooms. Nirvana had kicked off the slippers and slid them back over to him. "Thanks for letting me borrow them."

"Of course, white rabbit. I'll see you tomorrow. Also, do me a favor, and think about our trip down the rabbit hole," he hummed and Nirvana nodded before turning and being escorted to her room. Her first day in general public had been chaotic, but... Productive. A different guard guided her and a group of others back to their block. The trip was silent aside from the mumbling of someone behind her. She stepped into her cell when the door was opened for her and she nodded goodbye to the guard before waiting for the door to shut. She stood completely still for a moment, hearing the guard escort the other patients into their respective cells and then there was the thump of boots moving away completely. She walked over to her bed and looked underneath. The phone laid discarded there still and she was thankful for that. She pulled out the phone and clicked it on. There the riddle she needed to answer blared in it's bright font.

'What asks but never answers'

It seemed simple, but her mind was blank on the answer, so she placed the phone away once again. She hoped her mind would come up with an answer by the time the next day came. Her eyelids felt heavy, she breathed in softly, and she felt the chill of the asylum cradle her legs like a bed sheet. She took a seat on the concrete floor, pulling up her legs so her knees were tucked into her chest and she rested her head against the edge of the bed. Maybe she could skip the poison for the night. She didn't need it every day... Did she? Even just thinking about it made her arms itch and her shoulders prickle, feeling as if someone was standing directly behind her. No. She doesn't need it every day, it's just easier to have it every day. She closed her eyes as she focused on the way her body felt. She doesn't need it every day.

Skin held on to muscle which held on to bone.

Blood rushes through the veins, there are red and white blood cells in the body.

The heart pushes the blood

The brain pushes the heart

So what pushes the brain? The heart.

The toxin punishes the mind, the mind punishes the body.

The toxin poisons the blood, the blood poisons the body.

She felt her stomach tighten when she heard a sound.

The ears hears the danger

The eyes see the danger

Who is the danger?

The sigh of a deep breath, the slow sound of a body sliding across fabric, the curses of pain. She stayed completely silent as she listened to her neighbor move across his bed, stand, and pad over to the wall. The padding of bare feet, one step then another then another until they were at the wall. She imagines him staring directly into the painted concrete. She could see his outline so clearly. However, she heard him shuffle away as well, going a few feet away and the groan of a man in pain. She blinked and turned her head to look at the the wall. She heard him sit on the ground, him sighing when his weight was relieved by the floor.

"I'm sorry," his voice came through the wall. She closed her eyes as the impact felt like being hit by a train. "I wish I could fix everything, but I can't." She breathed in deeply, and it released in a sigh and thought maybe blocking everything out. "I can't just let you go, Nirvana. You hold so much potential."

The brain makes the heart feel things.

Fear

Hate

Anger

Jealousy

"I wish you hadn't been that function, but I don't regret the things that I did."

The heart is the rational party, it pumps the blood, it makes the organs alive.

The brain makes the choice to walk

To breath

To feel

To covet

To care

Nirvana didn't say anything, why should she? She was already subjected to the sound of his voice, why should she gift him with the sound of hers? But that just meant he would keep fucking talking, of course. But instead, she was greeted with silence. Sweet, blissful silence. He didn't move, he didn't even seem to be breathing. She rested her face into her knees, feeling her eyes begin to water. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't let him hear her cry, so instead two trails of tears feel out of her orange eyes in complete silence. How was she still so trapped?

"I'm sorry, Nirvana. But about what, I don't know."

She sniffed quietly, knowing full well he could hear it. She didn't want him too, but she knew he could. She wiped under her eyes with the back of her hand before resting her head back down into her knees. "I hate you. I just want you to leave me alone," she stated quietly, another small sniffle travellinh through the air and slipping through the door to his ears. One of his blue eyes was stained with blood red. A popped blood vessel, the after effects of the several punches he had recieved when getting carted out of the cafeteria earlier. While it hurt, and did it really, he wasn't put off or deterred by a few bumps and bruises. If anything, it helped put more things into perspective for him. He couldn't be aggressive. He couldn't push, he couldn't force. It wouldn't work.

"You know I can't do that," Jonathon answered, his voice getting cut off at the end as he moved his body and a sigh of pain escaped him. He heard a small sob, and he closed his eyes against the sadness that it brought him. While it was soft in nature, it brought a rain cloud into his room, causing his blue eyes to close.

"Why?" Her voice was so soft. The cry was the dark swirling cloud and the helplessness that lined her voice was the patter of rain.

He always liked the rain.