~Axel POV~
Did i really lack that much of a life? I stood at the counter, waiting for Riku or the little blond brat to make an appearance. It was no wonder the place was seeming more and more dead, there was never any fucking employees around! I probably stood there for a good five minutes before I spotted either of the weirdos, and it made me serious debate on if I even wanted to bother.
"Looking for Roxas?" he asked like it was a surprise, when he was the one who said I'd be back. Did he really not expect me to come around again?
If Demy and Zex were still around, I sure as hell wouldn't be.
With a deep breath, I pushed away from the counter, not wanting to indulge my thoughts any longer. "So, where is he?" My voice didn't sound as bored as I wanted it to. At this point, there was no reason for me to keep seeing the brat, it wasn't like I really drank that much anyway. At least, not when I didn't have company. And since the little brat was all against drinking and drugs, I guess that left me shit out of luck too.
"He's upstairs." He was towel drying a shot glass, but the way he was acting was like he didn't give a fuck at all about anything. Riku had a tight frown on his face, like he was pissed, but I knew it couldn't be aimed at me. I did my job, I showed up!
"Alright..." I began walking upstairs. It was weird, and slightly uncomfortable, that Riku trusted me so much around a kid he babied. He doesn't know me, not at all, yet he is a-okay with me being alone with the 17 year old. That's not very good for a friend to do.
I paused. My arm was raised to slam on the door with the side of my fist, but the face of the blond crossed my mind. The last time I saw him, he was on the verge of tears and wouldn't tell me a damn thing. My question wasn't really 'why was he on the verge of crying', but more 'why the hell do I give a damn'.
My knock was gentle, maybe we could get off on the right foot and that would make this whole thing more bearable, since apparently he's too nice to tell me off like I want him to.
At the same time, I don't want to waste time getting close to this kid.
I have no interest in him, so that's problem number one.
Problem number two is, Riku plans on moving him away anyways.
Say I did catch something for this kid, that meant as soon as anything could come of it, Riku would move them away and I'd be left with nothing to show for it.
Seems more like Riku's trying to fuck me over.
The blond answered, as if in a hurry.
He seemed shocked to see me, but, without pause, opened the door to let me in.
"What can I do for you?" There was no chipper tone to his voice. But he sounded like he was really trying, so +A for effort.
"I wanted to know if you wanted to hang?" Part of my mind was begging him to just so 'no', but the other part of me was the part I was questioning. Some part of me wanted to be with the blond, because the little brat was the one to fill my silence and I needed something to take my mind off everything.
My parents were supposed to come back in about twelve or so hours, and it was like a countdown to my death.
"Um..." he looked around the room, but otherwise stayed still, "Yeah... okay..."
He walked past me, and just, something was not right with him. Even the way he nodded his head, even the way he walked past me, was not done in his usual way. Was there something wrong with him?
There was no excuse given as to why he disappeared for a few minutes, but when he came back, I understood. He changed his clothes.
I didn't really notice the clothes he was wearing before, they were pajamas of some sort, but now he had on black skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a black hoodie. Watching him put on his shoes, there was even more I noticed that was different about him. There was silence all around us, and I was too stunned to break it, but he also wasn't blabbing my head off with random ass shit.
Did someone else hurt his feelings?
I didn't dwell on the thought, instead I followed his lead out of his apartment and into my car. There was a movie in theaters that I'd be dying to see, and why not kill two birds with one stone?
The kid stayed next to me the whole time, silent and calm. Completely out of the norm for him.
What the hell.
It was like he was in a depressed rut, but the problem was, he was going to drag me down with him.
"Have you seen this movie yet?" My voice was quiet as we entered the room, finding a seat in the middle. I was surprised by how empty the place was, was it really that bad of a movie?
Looking over, I realized the brat still hadn't given me a response, so I asked something else.
"I heard it was good, do you like action movies?"
And again, the fucking brat ignored me.
Whatever.
He can ignore me all he wants, it's not my fault he's got a stick up his ass. Sitting more comfortably in my seat, I took a silent pledge to ignore him for the rest of the movie, watching to my satisfaction, and keeping up on the deal with Riku. But the longer I sat there, the harder it was to not keep glancing over at the teen.
There was a hole in the knee of his pants, and he was picking at the frayed edges, not even watching the movie I just paid for.
What was bothering him so much that he couldn't just zone out to the movie?
~Rox POV~
Why was the presence of the redhead bothering me so much?
Last time I saw him... well... I turned into a blubbering mess, and turned to past addictions to help ease my nerves. But, that wasn't the point. Last time I saw him, he did a whole bunch of yelling and then just left, there was nothing wrong with that. I'd been yelled at before, thousands of times, but why was I still shaken up about it?
Like, come on brain, I get it, now drop it.
Gah I'm such an idiot, why the fuck can't I just function like a normal human. Why don't my own emotions make sense to me?
I'm the tongue among noses. Everyone around me can understand 80% of their emotions, while I am the tongue that only is able to comprehend 20%...
I don't want to be a tongue, I want to be a nose.
But no, I have anosmia, and that's the closest I'll ever get. The pleasure of a nose, but almost no sense of smell.
I also don't want a mind that can't keep a straight thought for more than five seconds. It's one thing to be random aloud, but I don't even get consistency in my own brain?
There was a big explosion in front of me, looking up I realize that the movie probably started awhile ago. But I don't really care, I wanted to care, because I know this punk just went out of his way to buy me a ticket, but it's also a movie. Tv and such don't suit my fancy. But, that's just another reason I'm a flaw in society. Tvs have become so popular because human instinct has told us that things moving is something we need to keep our eyes on. So, when you're sat in front of a screen, companies are literally making money off your survival tools.
Rip offs.
It's a brilliant idea though...
And again.
I'm a malfunctioning robot.
My fingers found their way into the hole in my jeans, right by the knee. I hadn't realized it, but I was picking at the fraying fabric, and now that I'm aware, I can't stop. It was better than thinking of more useless and pointless facts.
When the redhead started asking me questions, I had to almost literally bite my tongue not to speak. A screaming match was not something I wanted to fuel, and I knew that was exactly where it would lead us too. He'd get mad at me for not answering his questions directly, and I'd be mad, because at least I'm answering...
I could live in the silence...
Maybe.
My mind was only able to stay quiet for so long.
Why did this little punk want to keep hanging out?
Certainly it wasn't just to continue to complain about me, right?
So what other reason did he have?
Or, maybe that first kiss made him think I was a hooker ...
But, if that was the case, wouldn't it have been easier to just make a move and hope to score, instead of these little 'dates'.
Unless... that's what he thought they were, dates...
Nope, nope, nope, not going there.
Random fact, random fact, random fact... My mind raced, wanting it to wander so I couldn't indulge the deranged thought any longer.
I mean... I wasn't the most innocent, but if I let him in on that, he'd call me names again. I didn't like it the first time he called me names, and, hey, I'm selfish, there's no reason for me to give him knowledge he won't know how to use.
Right?
That was a ridiculous thought, and it made almost no sense.
My point still stood though...
I really just needed to calm down, my mind was racing, my mind was annoying, and it was getting hard to breathe.
"You alright?" he asked me. His eyes had been on me for a while, he was just watching me, and I was just slowly falling apart.
I couldn't take the silence any longer.
"A poet will write and read a poem for you, if you die in Amsterdam, and have no family or anyone..."
~Axel POV~
What the fuck?
I ask if he's okay, because he sure as hell doesn't look it, and he gives me a bogus fact instead. What the hell is the point in trying to talk to him if he's just going to tell me bullshit instead.
Whatever.
He wants to avoid me, I can ignore him right back.
Staring at the movie screen, I tried to ignore him. I tired to pretend he wasn't there, he didn't have to enjoy his time with me and I didn't care. But, the longer I thought about it, the more I did care. Obviously there was something wrong with the brat, and I had no idea what it was. Looking back over at the teen, I saw that look in his eyes again, the one that said he was about to cry. I'd been having a good day, and it was probably the last good day I'd have for a while, so no, he wasn't allowed to cry.
Standing up, I pulled the brat with me, grabbing his hand and holding on tight.
He didn't fight me though, which, didn't really make any sense. I mean, it did tell me that he wasn't being a whiney bitch because of me, right?
He was practically holding my hand back, like he was holding on for dear life.
Once we finally got outside of the movie, it took a moment for him to let go of my hand.
Was he starting to think this was more than it was?
"Look," I scratched my head, "What's wrong?"
The brat looked off to the side, as if the answer was over there, but he stayed quiet.
And then it fucking dawned on me.
"You don't like TV..." the conversation flooded my mind. With a deep breath, I clarified my question. "You don't like movies either, do you?"
He blinked a couple times, still staring off, before he slowly shook his head. I was an idiot, I knew he didn't yet I still paid for us to see a movie. What was I thinking?
Oh yeah, I was thinking: I don't give a damn about this kid, and I want to see this movie.
I was going to give him an ultimatum, tell him that he could either watch it with me or go home. But, that'd just be mean. That was a long walk back to the bar, and I'd have dragged him out just to tell him to go home... Damn, I was a dick.
"Look," my mouth started moving on it's own, "Let's do something else then."
Really? Did I really just fucking say that? What the hell was I smoking? It must have been good because I just spent a lot on the movie that I apparently wasn't going to watch.
Deep down, I knew I could just watch the movie again, but I didn't want to admit to myself that I was being a decent human being to a stranger. My parents didn't raise me right, and I made sure to prove it daily, but I just couldn't. It seemed like my 'asking him to hang out' was more torturous for the blond, than it was for me. There was so part of my stomach that just didn't want to be responsible for hurting this kid.
When this brat wouldn't shut up, yes it was annoying. But, it also made me forget about everything shitty in my own life. That was priceless, and I was going to need distractions to get through the next month, if not the rest of my life.
"Let's go," slowly I began to walk away, hoping the brat would follow me.
I knew once I got home, I'd be in trouble, and I wouldn't be in an okay state. My friends were nowhere near me, this brat was the next best thing.
Slowly the brat walked behind me, at that perfect spot were he was just barely visible in my peripheral sight. He was following me at least, but he was still quiet.
What was wrong?
And, why wouldn't he tell me?
Then again, I wouldn't tell a strange all my problems either. Maybe he was upset because Riku told him about his mother, and maybe the news was starting to sink in. If that wasn't the problem though, I wasn't going to blab about it to make it a problem. That'd probably fuck me over more.
He was really quiet, his hands in his pockets and his hood up. It was like he was trying to hide from me, and I was... aggressive, maybe, but not that bad that he would need to hide from me. Right?
"Look..." His silence was going to kill me. "I'm sorry for how I acted the other day..." Maybe if I was vague enough he would just apply the apology to whatever the fuck was bothering him and move on with his life.
"You didn't do anything..."
Well that cleared my conscience. Only, it didn't, I still felt guilty, and it was starting to get really annoying. The footsteps that had been echoing with mine, stopped. Looking over my shoulder, I noticed the brat balancing on a railing. Of course.
Well, that meant he was 'better', right?
He took a deep breath as he walked along the railing, making it look easy, and then finally, finally, words came out of his mouth again. "This railing is stainless steel... Did you know that 'stainless steel' is a generic name for a huge array of alloy steels?"
"Really?" The words hadn't meant to leave my lips, but the fact caught me off guard. Mostly because the fact was the opposite of what I thought I knew as common knowledge.
"One thing all stainless steel metals have in common, is they contain at least ten and a half percent chromium... If only we could be made out of chromium... I mean, we wouldn't work the same, or be human, but we'd be better off..." He was rambling, before getting to his point. "Chromium produces a film, like a living creature... So, when it gets scrapped and scratched... the chromium repairs itself. Almost like a starfish growing a new limb."
That was actually a really cool fact.
"I mean..." he kept talking, "Humans heal... but they bleed first, they bruise, they scar, and they become fearful... I could cut this railing, and it would repair itself, but continue to be a railing..." His babbling was beginning to sound a bit intense. "It doesn't really feel fear, or any of those instincts, because... it'll never die. It'll never fade, it'll never disappear..." After another long breath he continued talking. "I wonder what it's like to be nothing... just a solid piece of matter with only the purpose others give it... but, to not give a damn about any of their expectations... Just doing..."
He realized I was staring at him, he hopped off the metal and stood next to me for a moment before walking onward. "I forgot where I was going with that." was mumbled as he walked away.
The life of a railing sounded like the dream... the more I listened to how he described it, the more I envied the hunk of metal. If only I could not be effected by the people I was surrounded by, then this life wouldn't have been born with no future but a Hell-hole.
Why the hell did his bullshit rambling affect me so much?
This story is not going to live up to expectations, just a forewarning... I am going to have fun with it though~
I hope you stick around to the end. That being said, this story is not going to be as long as TIDBD, if you read that story, but... it is going to have an interesting plot twist. And I'll repeat, for future notice, I am a terrible person and don't worry, I hate me too.
Uploaded March 10th, 2017