~Rox POV~
I starred at myself in the mirror, minutes had passed, but I didn't care. I needed this.
I needed to stare back into my own eyes, and brainwash myself silly.
It wasn't brainwashing if I was doing it to myself, right?
There was much for me to do though, before the 'cycle' was complete, there was a knock on the bathroom door. Which was strange, especially seeing as how I had left the doc opened.
When I turned around, I seemed surprised, even though I knew I shouldn't have been. Of course it was Riku, but the longer the silence progressed the more I realized I was hoping it was Axel.
"Can I help you?" My voice was rough, but I tried to smile it off.
"What's wrong?" He folded his arms, his own voice serious.
"What makes you think there's anything wrong?" And of course that was stupid, I slid by Riku, hoping he wouldn't notice that I had given him a straight-ish answer. But no, he noticed and he made sure to hound me about it.
"Oh, of course there's nothing wrong, that's why you're not giving me some random bullshit about how the couch is trying to eat you again!" His voice was louder than I know he meant it to be, but the way threw his arm up to gesture at the couch, just made him seem even more hostile. Or maybe that was because I was sitting on said couch.
"Do you really want me to get into how the couch," he didn't let me finish.
"Of course not Roxas! I want you to talk to me like a normal human and stop giving me the go-around." Again with that tone. After a deep breath, he finally lost the attitude. "Rox... you're acting like you used to... and it's concerning."
"No I'm not," I avoided his gaze. The room was silent for a moment, like he was questioning my sanity.
"Really?" It was like he was dumbfounded. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, Riku, I'm fine." and that was the straw that broke the camels back.
"You don't know what 'fine' is! I really thought you were getting better, over the past year, but now it's like we're right back at square one." Now he looked like a fish out of water. He kept opening his mouth, taking deep breaths like he was going to yell again. Only, nothing ever managed to come out. He ran his hands through his hair and paced around the room before finally sitting down. "I don't think you should see Axel anymore."
"What?" I yelled. And that was not the appropriate response.
"Because," he looked at me, "That reaction right there. He's the reason you've been acting like this, all of a sudden, and I have too much stress on my mind already to worry about another suicide attempt!"
"He's not you!" Was also not the appropriate response.
"No, but you're still you!" Point one for Riku. There was no response I could create for that, there was nothing I could say, because he was right. Plain and simple. He knew that too, "Listen..." his voice was gentle again. "Rox... I know you, it doesn't matter who you're crushing on... you always destroy yourself, just to make everyone else happy..." The silence lasted too long. "Like you did with me."
After another deep breath he spoke. "I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I put you through, regretting that I was such a stupid kid... but... I can't let you destroy yourself over someone you care about. Not all over again." He turned to face me. "Rox, you have been working so hard, to put everything behind you, and you've been doing so good. You stopped drinking, you stopped taking drugs, and you stopped giving in to people, just to make them happy."
There was no way I could return his glance, he wanted me to, but there was too much there. Riku knew me better than anyone, almost as well as I knew myself, but he also didn't know how I felt. About anything, past and present. And because of the 'curse' on my mouth, I'd never be able to just tell him how I felt about anything, ever.
"Did you talk to him when he stopped by?" The only response he received was me shaking my head. "Why not? You were all excited to hang out with him the other day?"
"That was because he said he'd 'see me tomorrow'. Not four days later."
"Well," Riku tried to defend him, "At least he showed up, at least he tried to hang out."
"Not really..." I mumbled, "I said no and he left." There was definitely a pout on my face, but I could get it to go away.
Riku had seen it though, and was quick to comment. "Oh," he drew out, "So that's why you're upset... because he didn't try harder." When I tried to tell him no, he didn't listen, instead, he continued to talk. "Well, since you're free I guess you can get to work. Since you haven't really worked all week." He stood up from the couch and opened the front door, but stopped to look back at me, "You've got a lot of people asking for their money back."
Even if I was 'upset' I couldn't help but smile at that. Yes, I knew it was a bad habit to borrow money from so many people, but they thought I was cute... I'm the devil.
At the end of the day though, I liked hanging out with Axel, but I didn't like how short his temper was. Riku knew me, he knew how I was when it came to me caring about someone. Which is unfortunate, because as much as I want to defend Axel, I don't know him that well. And he doesn't know me that well. Who's to say he won't take advantage of me like teenage-Riku did?
I just need to step back, from everything, and figure it all out.
~Axel POV~
My mind was racing like fucking crazy, and even though there was anyone talking to me, my eyes kept rolling as the conversation continued to play out in my head. I just want to get drunk, get fucking shit faced, and call it a day. Sitting at the bar, I asked for a shot. I didn't really even ask, just politely demanded, I guess. Riku wasn't able to walk very far, because once one was gone, I asked for another, till about six shoots of liquor had been downed. That was going to creep up on me.
After the shots of burning liquid, I looked around the room, and noticed the familiar blond waiting on tables. "Hey," I called, waving him to me. Honestly, I was a bit surprised he actually came over as quick as he did. I could see the money in his hand, but he wasn't in a hurry to do anything, so it must have been a tip. Maybe he was back to being himself instead of that whiney little brat he'd been being.
"Can I help you?" His tone was a bit snarky, but he had a big smirk on his face. Good thing to, if I hadn't seen the smirk, I might have started a fight with him. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn't ever fight this brat, he's too... fragile.
"Yeah," I remembered he'd asked me a question, "Can you get me a can of soda?"
I watched as the brat lifted his ass up onto the counter and swung his legs around. Giving me a soda in a just a few seconds. But, it also would have been a lot easier if he had just walked around the counter instead. The liquor was hitting me hard, because I didn't realize till he answered me that I had said everything out loud.
"Where's the fun in that?"
"I guess there isn't any." I shrugged, he may have done things the hard way, but at least he had fun doing it. Wasn't that the important part? "So..." eyeing my soda, I phrased my words carefully, "Does this mean you're done being quiet and all upset?" There were a few words I wanted to add in there, like cry baby, but I didn't want to start shit with the kid.
My phrasing must have been right, because he smiled. "Oh, yeah," he hopped back up onto the counter, "The dark cloud has left the vicinity." He didn't really sound like he meant it though. But, I didn't care. I mean... part of me did, but everything just seemed better when the brat was acting happy. Acting isn't a very good thing though.
When he started to walk away, I realized I owed him an apology. "Hey," I waited for him to stop. "I'm sorry..." Apologizing was a new thing to me, but the fact that he hadn't walked away yet, had to mean something.
"For what?" His hand went on his hip, and all I could think about was the little tattoo I knew was there. I wondered if he had any other tattoos...
"For earlier... I mean, I did want to hang out," but I also wasn't about to vent all my feelings to this kid either. "And for the other day," and the irritation was back. "I would've been here, but my father's a fucking dick."
"What do you mean?" He took a seat next to me and listened like I was going to tell him something that was actually important.
"My dad," I sipped on the soda, wishing it was liquor, "He came back the other day. Apparently his 'trip' didn't go as well as planned, and then to add to it, I never called colleges like I was supposed to. So he got pissed off at me." While I was busy shaking my head at the stupidity of my father, the brat asked me a question.
"Should've run away then," there was a smile on his face, but his words just made me more irritated.
"Yeah, I tried that. And you know what he did?" I waited for a response even though I knew I wouldn't get one. "He called the cops on me, said I was trying to 'kill myself'. Fucking bullshit is what it all is." I noticed then that he still had a smile on his face, till I told him about the cops.
"What'd the cops do?" It was weird to be having an actual conversation with this kid, but it was also just what I needed. Since all Larxene did was make my problems worse.
"Brought me to CPEP, locked me up for three days and monitored every fucking thing I did. Yeah, real effective..." I mumbled to myself. If I really wanted to kill myself, there would be no CPEP, there would be no calling the cops, there would be no time for any of that shit. Only time for the funeral. Imagine how pissed off my father would be if I killed myself. His life would be all fucked up and he'd have to think of some other lie to tell everyone, just so the 'family' image stays the same. And shit, Larxene would be pretending to cry. I would love to see that. The bitch is colder than ice. "No," I continued, "I wanted to hang out, but I didn't get that far before 'dick face' stepped in."
There was a small smile on his face, and I couldn't tell if he was actually happy, or if he was sad. It was confusing as fuck, and I was getting drunker by the minute from those shots. Damn they really crept up on you.
"Anyways," I began, "I have to go see a shrink in the morning, but to you want to hang out tomorrow then?" And now I could tell he was happy, his smile grew, and he opened his mouth like he was going to yell 'yes'. But instead he closed it, his 'fuck you' tongue ring disappearing again. Instead, all I got was a nod as he stood up and began to walk away.
"Don't stand me up this time." And that little smirk was not only on his face, but mine as well.
.
Another one bites the dust.
I guess...
I was going to upload this yesterday, but... yeah... life.
Uploaded: March 18th, 2017