Title: Forbidden Attraction

Author: MarieCarro

Beta: Alice's White Rabbit

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rating: NC-17

Summary: To Edward Masen, Bella Swan was nothing more than his daughter's best friend, but that all changed when they both applied for the same weekly writing class. Suddenly, she didn't appear to be the young girl who had played with his daughter since her family moved in next door. What will Edward do when he realizes that he's developing a very forbidden attraction for a woman twenty-five years his junior? AH

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER 3

As the clock closed in on lunchtime, I felt my nerves settle in my stomach, almost making me nauseated.

What was I thinking inviting Bella here? We would be completely alone, and I already had a hard time controlling myself when she was close by and there were other people around.

But it needed to be done. We had to talk about it, whatever it was that was happening between us, and end it. We couldn't pursue anything because it was wrong.

She was more than half my age; she was Alice's best friend and our neighbor's daughter. I'd seen her grow up from the age of five. I'd been married since before she was born. And I was still married.

My time to think was up, though, because I heard the entrance door open out in the shop, and I took a deep breath to calm myself before exiting the office. It was now or never.

I'd barely laid my eyes on Bella before I felt the need to curse out loud.

She was dressed in a tight, black mini-skirt, and it looked like she was wearing one of those push-up bras that I'd seen Alice wear occasionally. She'd also put on some makeup. In other words, she didn't look dressed to talk but to seduce, and I swallowed thickly. All of this went through my mind in only a few seconds, and when Bella met my eyes with her brown ones, I knew that no matter what I tried to tell myself, I wouldn't be able to end it.

Bella had become a huge weakness of mine.

In order to hide my thoughts from her, I cleared my throat. "I was just wondering …" I started but didn't continue.

"What?" she asked weakly. It was obvious she was just as nervous as I was, if not even more.

"If you were going to show up at all."

She shrugged. "Of course! I would never ignore you," she said, and it felt like she was hinting to me that she would never treat me the way I had treated her. I felt like an ass. I was supposed to be the adult here, but it was me who acted like the immature teenager.

"Come on in. We can sit in here and talk." I gestured toward my office, and Bella walked inside with a straight back and sat down in the chair opposite mine across the desk.

I watched her look around the office before her eyes settled on me. "I don't understand any of this," she said genuinely, and I understood that her feelings for me confused her. She'd never expected to feel this way for me, her best friend's father.

I smiled slightly since I could see how innocent she truly was. She was so young and already in a deep mess she had no idea how to handle. Not that age mattered there since I didn't know how to handle it, either.

"My feelings aren't exactly new," I admitted, and she blushed adorably. "But I have to confess that I was quite surprised and shocked to hear that they are reciprocated."

Her blush deepened and she looked down at her hands. She looked so vulnerable, and I just couldn't keep my distance any longer, so I took a step closer to her and placed my hand gently on her arm in hopes of comforting her.

"What do you want with this?" I asked.

"I … I don't know," she said, and it sounded like the truth. She still kept her eyes on her hands. In order to make her more comfortable, I stepped away from her and turned toward the coffee maker to pour us two cups of coffee.

I thought of the letters she'd sent me, how she'd put herself out there and admitted her feelings before I did, and I sighed lightly before turning back around. Bella was now looking at me, probably a reaction to my sigh.

"You know what I told you about reading your letter at least ten times?" I asked, and she nodded. "Ten times." I snorted. "I had accomplished that before lunch." I cast a glance at her to gauge her reaction to that.

She seemed to almost grow in front of me. Suddenly, she sat up straighter in her chair, and she wasn't avoiding my eyes any longer. She squared her shoulders and waited for me to continue.

I shook my head incredulously. "I thought I'd left all this craziness behind me decades ago, and then you show up."

"I've been here the entire time," she said with a steady but low voice.

I sighed again. "Which makes it even worse."

I handed her one of the cups of coffee, and when her hand enveloped around the steaming mug, the tips of her fingers grazed my knuckles. The feeling was like being electrocuted, and my heart started to drum violently in my chest. My neck broke out into a sweat, but I refrained from rubbing my hand over it.

"What do you want?" she asked after a moment of silence, and my head snapped up to meet her now completely steady gaze.

"I don't know, either." That was a complete lie. I knew exactly what I wanted, but if she knew even a small portion of it, she would turn her back to me and run as fast as she could because my desires were just sick. Still, I couldn't lie straight to her face, so I corrected myself. "Well, I do know, but …" I let it trail off and allowed her to interpret it however she wanted.

She stood up gingerly from her chair and walked up to me so that we were face to face. Bella had to bend her head backward to accomplish that, though, since I was at least a head taller than her. I could feel her body heat through my clothes, and when she got close enough, I felt her warm breath waft over my face.

It caused every single rational thought in my head to fly out the window, and I put down my coffee before I started to move my hands up and down her arms, an action that caused goose bumps to break out on her skin. Then I let them travel up over her shoulders and her neck to eventually settle on her, now red, cheeks.

In slow motion, I bent down and touched her lips with my own, and the second they met, every nerve ending in my body started sparking like electric wires that had come in contact with water.

Everything inside me was ablaze, and it all came from the one focal point of our mouths pressed together.

The taste on my tongue and the smell of her skin made my head swim with lust and desire, and I enveloped her with my arms.

"Bella …" I moaned, and her hands started to discover my body in a manner that felt too good. I instantly woke up from the spell that had been placed on me. I pulled away from the kiss and released her from my hold before taking a step back.

My thoughts screamed that I was completely insane. What the fuck was I doing? She was Alice's best friend! Charlie Swan's daughter!

I ran my hands through my hair repeatedly and down my face while pacing back and forth in the small space that was my office, but nothing could erase the memory of the passion that simple kiss had awoken inside me.

I cast a glance in Bella's direction and saw her looking slightly dazed, her breathing labored, and her lips slightly parted.

I stopped pacing. "Are you all right?" I asked, concerned about what the kiss would mean to her.

Bella nodded in reply to my question, but for once, I doubted if she told me the truth. I turned my body so I was fully facing her, but I made sure to keep my distance now. "I meant what I said before, Bella. We need to talk about this! I never imagined something like this would … or well, of course, I've imagined it, fantasized about it. That was unavoidable after your letters, but I didn't plan for it to really ..." I stopped my own word vomit, took a deep breath, and looked her right in the eye to make sure she understood every word of what was about to be uttered from my mouth. "Bella, I don't think you have any idea how flattering it is for a man when a woman over twenty years younger shows interest. Honestly, I don't understand how or why you feel this way. I really don't."

My little speech caused her to blink in shock, almost as if she hadn't thought of it that way, and maybe she hadn't, but that didn't really matter.

I started to pace again, but I could feel Bella's eyes on me the entire time. "I need to clear my head and think rationally about this," I said. "Because right now, my body's telling me to uproot my entire life and run away with you." I could instantly see what my words did to Bella. She obviously hadn't imagined that I could be so drastic and dramatic, but there was something in the girl that brought it all out of me.

"Y-you're out of your mind," she stuttered. "You would regret it terribly, and just think of Alice and …" she said as if I had actually considered the thought for real. Well, I guess I had for just a short second, but I would never be able to really go through with it.

We looked at each other for a few seconds, and her mouth hypnotized me. I couldn't stop myself from minimizing the space between us and stealing another kiss. This one was less passionate with closed lips, but it still set my entire being on fire.

I pulled away again, but she remained in my arms this time. "I think it's best if you go now," I whispered to her, and she nodded before leaving me alone in my office.

Later that night when I was home, I sat in the living room and pretended to watch the evening news while thinking everything through just like I told Bella I would.

It was so much easier to think rationally when I was away from her. She was so intoxicating that it bordered on ridiculous. The whole adventure in the carpentry had proved that.

I'd still been in a daze when I first got home. During the first part of the evening, I had truly considered pursuing a relationship with my young neighbor. My head had swum with images of her and me together, and how I was positive it would be good.

When I kissed her, it had felt as if the delicate creature in my arms had been made for me. The only thing that had actually stopped me from ravaging her on top of my desk was the immoral part of the situation. I barely cared about the age difference anymore—it was the least of my problems.

My main problem was that I wanted to be with her with my entire heart, but if I were to give in to that longing, I would commit a crime, and not just against my wife but against my daughter. Adultery was frowned upon on its own. Add to that acting out adultery with someone who'd just barely reached legal age.

Technically, I'd already committed a crime by lusting after Bella, but as long as I hadn't acted on my feelings, everything had been fine. Now, I had acted on it, though. We'd shared kisses, secret and forbidden kisses that were full of passion, passion that had been non-existent in my marriage for over seventeen years.

But it wasn't just that. I shared something with Bella that I hadn't with anybody else before: an interest, a hobby of sorts. We had so much in common, and before this entire ordeal, we'd had no problem talking with each other for hours.

There was a reason Bella and I happened to be in the same writing class. Fate wanted us to meet and get to know each other on a deeper level, become friends, but I don't believe fate had taken this attraction into the equation. I refused to believe that Bella was meant to become my mistress, no matter how much I secretly wanted it. She was too good, too innocent for that.

And I wasn't really prepared to do what I had told Bella I'd wanted to in my office. I couldn't leave my wife and daughter, hell, my life, behind all because of how this teenage girl made me feel. I couldn't imagine abandoning what I had built up—my company, my family, and the normalcy of my existence—for the chance of a physically, and probably mentally, satisfying relationship. I had no guarantee it would last, though.

I couldn't destroy my family for a shameful impulse. Bella deserves better and so does my family.

I had to forget about her, and she had to forget about me. In the end, even a friendship would be unlikely. It would be too tempting to be that close to each other.

So, my solution to all of this was exactly what I had done the first time. I decided to act as if nothing had ever happened and continue my life.

Bella would be hurt at first, but she would get over it eventually. She was still young. As soon as the next attractive guy came her way, she would forget all about her little crush on me.

I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

As the days pass, everything started to change.

Bella stopped coming over to our house, something that didn't go unnoticed by Alice. One afternoon, I sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in front of me. The window that faced the front was open, and I could hear the two girls discuss this very issue.

Bella claimed that they used to hang out in this house all the time before, so what was so wrong with wanting to take a break from that and hang out at her place instead.

Alice didn't buy that explanation and left Bella alone by our two mailboxes. I barely had time to greet my daughter before she had her cellphone pressed to her ear. She called Bella to ask what was wrong, but the conversation didn't end well, or so I could tell by the slam Alice made with her bedroom door upstairs.

The strain between Alice and Bella caused my daughter to withdraw into herself. She wasn't communicating a whole lot with me and Mary before, but now, she blankly refused to say anything at all. Her behavior worried Mary, and fights between us erupted more often than before.

She couldn't stand how passive I was. When she was at her worst, she yelled that I only cared about myself.

It didn't exactly help her temper that I let her throw these words and accusations at me. She wanted me to react, to yell back, and claim that she was wrong, but I couldn't. Deep down, I knew I was responsible for what my life had become.

So, it was with reluctance that Mary and I agreed to have lunch at the Swans' house that very Saturday. Renée wanted to give back since we invited them over a couple weeks before, and she also said that she hoped it would help the girls find their way back to each other.

That we agreed with reluctance was because lunch with the Swans meant pretending, smiling when you felt like screaming, constant bragging from Charlie, and incessant gossiping between our wives. It wasn't a play I enjoyed partaking in, but as it was, I had no choice.

I would have to meet Bella. I would have to interact with her.

My hands shook as I buttoned my shirt and began tying a marine blue tie around my neck. It didn't help to repeatedly take deep breaths, either. All I could do was hope that my intense desire for Bella wouldn't be visible to the others.

When we arrived at the Swans, they were in the middle of exchanging their old, wooden garden furniture with new, plastic ones. They were horrible, boring, and sterile, but it was obvious Charlie was pleased with them, and I immediately understood that he had bought them for this occasion. It made me want to throw up, but as the good neighbor I was, I complimented them, and a smug smile stretched across his face.

Inside, I shuddered at the whole display.

I felt a prickling at the side of my face and turned my head toward where I knew Bella was standing. For an infinite second, we are locked in each other's gaze, but I think we were the only ones who noticed.

"Hi," I said politely.

"Hi," she replied, and she succeeded very well with sounding unaffected, although, since I had gotten to know her quite well during the course of her life, I could see she was anything but that.

"Hi, Bella!" Mary greeted her and went up to kiss her cheek. "How pretty you look today!"

"Thanks," Bella mumbled.

Renée went around and handed us drinks before we all went to the backyard where she and Charlie welcomed us with a simple dinner.

In the background, I heard giggling and two girls making fun of us boring adults as we clinked our glasses together and thanked our hosts for the invitation. The corners of my mouth twitched in amusement at the thought.

The next hours dragged by as we talked about mundane things like the weather, politics, and our jobs. I smiled and laughed at the right places when Charlie said something he deemed funny, and the whole time, I was able to avoid Bella.

There wasn't much to avoid. Alice did a pretty good job of keeping her away from me, and I thanked my daughter for that.

However, my luck couldn't last forever. Toward the end of the night, Alice's cell rang, and when she squealed before answering, I knew she would be occupied for a while.

Renée and Mary began to take all the dishes inside to the kitchen, and Charlie had disappeared a few minutes before without saying where he was going, so it was only me and Bella left in their garden.

Bella gave me a look before standing up and making her way toward the south end of the hedge where a huge apple tree created a shadow that hid everything from view. I knew for a fact that Alice and Bella had used that same space many times when they were looking for trouble, but I tried not to think about what kind of mischief Bella had planned for us before I followed her.

I couldn't not follow her. She was like a magnet.

Bella stopped just where she would be completely concealed, but she remained with her back to me.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to explain why I had reverted to ignoring her.

"Bella," I started lowly, and her shoulders tensed up as if she were expecting me to yell at her or something. "We need to take it easy, don't you think?" I asked her, but she didn't answer me. "I mean … it would be impossible to …" I couldn't find the right words to explain it. I didn't know how to phrase it so she would understand. For her, it was probably as simple as me not liking her enough to take the chance—if she only knew.

"If we were to meet in that way …" I had to be careful not to say anything that would spark hope inside her. I only wanted to explain it once, and I needed her to understand what it was she was asking of me by staying silent. "It would be hard for our families to associate, and we would constantly have to play theatre. I already am, in a way, and I don't think I can handle adding another level to the character I already play. And I can't do that to Mary. I would feel like an ass."

Bella remained silent, but I knew she was soaking up every word, and I also knew she didn't believe that to be the entire truth. She didn't have to say it out loud. I could hear it in her silence.

"I don't want to do this with you, Bella," I said truthfully, but the words came out harsher than I intended. "I can't start a relationship that might not have a future. It makes me feel like I have no control. Emotionally, I mean. Not now. Not at my age. Do you understand?"

I wished she would turn around so I could see her face, but it also made it easier to say all of this to her back, but I would have appreciated it if she said something to me. All she gave me was a shrug.

"I have too much to lose, Bella. Who knows what you'll feel for me in six months?"

"I haven't exactly asked you to marry me," she finally snapped at me. I flinched at the hurt in her voice.

"No, no, I know that! What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to take any risks with what I've got. I don't want to even think about what would happen if Alice and Mary suddenly found out." I sighed deeply. "I know it's difficult for you to understand. Mary and I have been married for twenty-three years, and—"

"I know exactly how long you've been married," she said and defensively crossed her arms across her chest. "And you don't have to explain anything. I understand better than you think."

She huffed slightly, and it tore at me, but it was for the best.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said genuinely. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

I took a step closer and gently placed my hand on her bare shoulder. I let it remain there a second before removing it and backing away from the girl who had succeeded in capturing my heart, returning to what my life had been before her.