~~Axel POV~~

I couldn't sit still any longer, I tried to sleep, I laid in bed all night but I couldn't stop thinking about Rox's face. He was so torn... I wanted to chase after him last night, I wanted to confront him right off bat, but I knew he wouldn't see me... not like I wanted him to.

He'd see me, standing in front of him, but he'd see an angry hot head who was 'using' him... I didn't know I fucked up so bad with him.

Throwing myself back, I smothered myself with a pillow, because how the hell could I not have fucking noticed. He told me he liked me and I pushed him away, only to come back and see him, and rant to him about my girlfriend. Yeah, the girlfriend I'd never mentioned to him before... Why the Hell did I mention her at all?

"Oh shit..."

I searched for my phone, as quickly as I could.

"FUCK!" I jumped out of bed, it was fucking ridiculous how everything in the fucking universe worked against me, all the damn time.

Tomorrow was Roxas' birthday, Riku planned on moving tomorrow, so now I was running out of time. I need to think of what the fuck I'm going to do, I need to figure out what the Hell I'm going to say.

But... what if it's better if I don't say anything at all?

Would that be better?

Maybe it'd be easier for Roxas if I just dropped off the face of the fucking earth...

"What are you doing here?"

The voice echoed from the dinning room, after a step back, I peered into the doorway to see my father sitting at the table. News paper in one hand and a coffee mug in the other.

"Last I checked, I lived here."

He completely ignored my comment, "You're supposed to be in school. I pulled a lot of strings to get them to accept you," he glanced at his watch. "It's almost a two hour drive there, if you hurry up, you can try to sit in on another class hour."

"Alight," I continued walking away. Fuck that, I wasn't going to no school.

He'd realize that real fucking quick, especially right now...

Where the Hell was Vanille, she hadn't left for her place yet, I know she's somewhere around here...

"Ax! Ax!" I turned around as a little fiery blob almost jumped me. "Do you have time now?"

Was I really that terrible of a brother? My whole fucking summer I spent messing with Roxas, that I continuously pushed Lea away... I told him we'd spend all summer together playing my play station, and I've been ignoring him left and right...

"I have to talk to Vanille real quick, and then I might have some time." Yet again, I'm pushing this kid away...

Lea always wants me to play games with him, always wants to be right by my side... but I've always got 'too much shit going on', to fucking pay him attention...

He got quiet as I walked away, I'd just crushed his feelings again... And he'd been awesome all summer, he let me do my thing and he didn't nag me every five seconds, and probably because his tiny heart breaks every time I tell him no. I've probably killed him inside a thousand times already...

Vanille was on the back porch just like she always was.

"Hey, Vanille..." I sat next to her, trying to get right to the point quicker than anything. "Do you remember me telling you about Roxas?"

She looked at me with a blank stare for a moment, "Is this the kid you're going on dates with?"

"Yeah..."

"Then yes, how is that going, by the way?" She turned her body in her seat to face me, but otherwise, remain lounged out.

"Not so great..."

She looked at me like she was concerned, but she very carefully chose what she was going to say to me. "For who... you or him?"

"Me," I thought about it, "Him... both of us. I don't know what the fuck to do..."

"Well..." she licked her lips, "What do you want to do?"

"I want him to fucking talk to me, I want to be able to talk to him without getting pissed off because everything gets fucking confusing and nothing ever fucking goes right!" I'd meant to talk to her, but now I was ranting. "I want to stop fucking everything up at every god damned turn! I want to open my mouth and have the right words fall out! I want to be able to talk to Roxas, and explain how he makes me feel alive, and not just because I'm pissed off at everything else at the moment. I want him to understand that even if everything else in my life is going right, he'd still be the best part of it!"

Once the words left my mouth, I realized what I had said. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how true those words were.

My sister stayed quiet, but my mind was begging her to hurry up and speak, fill the silence with sense and knowledge instead of the mess that I'd left. Of course she took her sweet time though... but she always said the right thing.

"Write him a note... with a clear head, everything you want him to understand. Read it over and over again, and fix it till there are no mistakes... give him the note and watch him read it..."

"Yeah, except I let it slip the other day that I have a girlfriend." I mumbled to myself.

"What was his response to that?"

"He looked like he was going to cry..." I buried my face in my hands, "He wouldn't stay and talk to me..." A sarcastic smile crossed my face, "He waited for me to finish talking, to finish ranting, before he said anything... And I didn't realize till he started talking that he was upset..."

"Good," she threw me off, "He cares about you too."

"Yeah... I already know that..." I looked away, my hand rubbing the back of my neck, "He told me before that he liked me..." My head shook as I thought about my own stupidity. "He told me he liked me, and you wanna know what I did?" I didn't wait for a response, "I said he needed to go home! I sent him away, and then I avoided him..."

"That was an asshole move..." Her tone was the crudest I'd ever heard it.

"Yeah, I know!" Standing up to look at the trees didn't help clear my mind as much as I was hoping it would. I turned around once I realized I still hadn't told her, "Tomorrow is his birthday, and I still feel guilty as shit for not telling this whole fuck fest idea was set up by Riku!"

"You feel guilty?"

"Yeah," I sat back down, "I don't know when it started, but... I want to tell him, but I don't want him to take it the way I know he's going to."

"Ax..." She sat up, like she was finally engaging in the conversation, "You're kinda stuck in a hole now... it's going to take a lot of time to dig your way out of it."

"But I don't have time, he's supposed to leave tomorrow to move in with Riku's mother..." My fingers ran through my hair, why did everything always fall apart for me...

"So follow him."

I'd never even thought about that... What if I followed him, got a job, and lived close by? I could take my time to make it up to him then... right? A face flashed in my mind, my father would throw a fit if he found out... not that I really care how it affects him, but he has an annoying habit of going out of his ways to ruin things for me.

"Go talk to him, go write your note, go do something," my sister finally said, I hadn't realized how long we were sitting in silence till that moment.

"Why can't things just ever be simple..." even though my voice was quiet, she heard me, but she stayed silent.

What the Hell was I going to do? I could follow Roxas, it's not like I have anything here to stick around for. Demyx and Zex were moving away for school, Vanille would be leaving soon too... Lea would be upset... But would he really be that upset? The kid has a short attention span, if I just gave him my Play Station, he's forget I even existed... My mother, well, it wouldn't effect her life any, I'm right here and she still barely gives shit...

I could lie to my father, tell him I moved away to be closer to school, and then, just, not go. It'd take him a while to realize anyways.

Standing up, I began to make my way inside, but big sea green eyes stopped me in my tracks. Lea was waiting just behind the door, waiting for me to give him an answer...

"Come here," I walked past him, he quickly followed me to my room, but when he saw me unplugging my Play Station, he could keep his curiosity quiet.

"What are you doing?"

"Well," I picked up the system with all it's cords, "I never play it, and I'm always busy... you can have it. And it's a gift from me, so Mom and Dad can't take it away." The last part made his eyes light up.

Once it was hooked up in his room, he instantly began playing and I became a shadow he'd forgotten about.

Oh well...

Silently, I slipped out of the room, before I could really understand what I was thinking, I was already back in my room. Throwing stuff together in two separate piles.

One pile was stacked with shit that I knew Lea loved, mostly books about cheats and shit for video games.

The other pile was for Vanille, it wasn't as big as the one for Lea, but she always loved the comforter I had on my bed, as well as the bean bag chair that I never sat in.

No one said a word as I carried the things and placed them in their rooms, the only person there to witness any of it was Lea, and let's face it, I'd pretty much just given him the Holy Grail.

Either way I was leaving, for school or for Roxas. I didn't have a need for all this extra shit, I'd just weigh me down in the end.

As I made my way down stairs, another idea crossed my mind. Less of an idea though, and more like wishful thinking. Walking into the kitchen, I spotted my mother, I didn't wait for her to notice me, because, well, let's face it, she'd try to ignore me as long as she could. "What do you think of Larxene?"

Her eyes drifted to me for a second before she went back to what she was doing, "She's a nice girl."

"No, I mean, really think." I knew I had to elaborate more, but I couldn't think of how to at first. "Like, do you think we're good for each other? Do you think we make each other happy? Do you see anything good coming out of us being together?" Larxene was the last person I gave a shit about, but I wanted to hear my mother's opinion, I wanted to know if she actually understood me before I brought up Roxas to her.

"I don't know, why don't you go ask your father."

"I'm asking you."

"And I don't know," she looked at me like she had something better to do, "Go ask your father, you know he likes the two of you."

Out of all the ways she could have phrased that, and she chose a fucked up one, "Whatever," I stood up, she scoffed, so of course I had to turn back around and look at her. "Don't even, you are so fucking ridiculous, why the fuck would you have kids if you knew you didn't have a fucking heart?"

There was no time for me to hear a response if she bothered to give me one, because I was already out the door.

It's amazing how parents are supposed to be there and help guide you through life, but my fucking parents are useless.

~~Rox POV~~

Why is it so hard for people to love me? Why the Hell am I so weird?

Riku didn't even want to deal with me this morning. No, that wasn't fair...

Looking over to the clock, I realize I've been laying in the same spot in bed for the past four hours, and if Riku had stuck around for all that, he'd probably be sleeping again... He's always tired, he's always exhausted.

He tried to get me to get out of bed this morning, and he really did try, but I'm stubborn. Clearly, because I'm still laying in the same spot, unmoved.

Axel knows my feelings for him, but he ignores me... is he just trying to 'let me down easy'?

Why can't he address my feelings, this whole limbo I'm currently stuck in, is torture.

Once I could see the bedroom door open, the noises suddenly made sense, a little too late.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked, leaving the door open behind him.

"I'm a human whose only destiny is to die... are any of us really okay?"

He was silent. I knew he was tired, I had a whole inner monologue about it, and now I was being a brat... Why did I do things like that?

Was I doing the same thing to Axel?

"I'm worried about you..."

"What else is new..." my voice was quiet, I don't think he actually heard me, but instead assumed I had said something self degrading.

"You were so upset when you came back in last night... I heard Axel out there, yelling. Was he yelling at you?"

The only response I could muster was a head shake, of course not. I mean, he was yelling to me, but not at me... he was ranting to me.

"Why does that worry you?" My voice finally found it's way out of my throat, breaking the silence that had taken over the room.

"You've been on this roller coaster lately... it's like, one minute you're happy, bouncing off the walls, and then the next... you sit in the same spot for hours without moving... I don't like seeing you like this..."

There was a knock on the door, making us both jump. We shared a mutual look of surprise and question, but Riku was the first to move and satisfy his curiosity. My spot was no longer comfortable and instead was pushing me to indulge my new interest. Creeping to the door, I kept quiet, attempting to decipher the whispering I was currently hearing, but I'd already made myself known by the time I might have been able to pick out any solid words.

Of course it was Axel, and while my heart soared out of me chest, eager to spend time with him, another part of me was cautious out of fear. We didn't exactly separate on good terms the night before, on the complete opposite terms to be accurate. What was Riku going to do though? Was he going to play the seeming annoying role of protective older 'brother', or would he play the even more annoying role of lucid, sleep deprived, silver head?

Almost as if he could read my mind, Riku turned around to face me, staying silent as he moved out of the way for Axel to enter our small abode.

"I wanted to ask you a question..." The was Axel spoke was as if that was a question in itself. He moved a little closer, his hand weaving through long red hair to scratch the back of his head. He nervously looked down and away from me, "I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with me..." nothing unusual there, "At my house... meet my family...?"

That was a tad unusual... he'd never before hinted to even wanting me to meet his family, in fact, the most he'd really talked about them was the moment we were in the woods. Except for when he rants about them, but that's pretty much Axel's way of speech it seems.

Casually I shrugged, "Sure," Axel seemed so tense and my completely languid response was a head turner. "I don't really have anything going on at the moment..." there wasn't a point to add that part, but I did.

"Okay," Axel still seemed nervous, "I'll let you get dressed then," he stepped away as I looked over my current attire.

Yeah, I really should get dressed.

Black and white all the way, black skinny jeans with a plain white tee, plus the usual accessories. It didn't take me long, but I was still surprised to find Riku waiting in the living room.

"Be careful," he started, "I mean, have fun," he quickly added, "But be careful... come back in a better mood please." It was almost as if he was trying to share a telepathic conversation with how he was staring at me, but it didn't last long before he made his way back down to the bar. Following behind him I crossed over the tongue and bald floor without incident, to find Axel parked in his usual spot.

"This is random," I spoke up as I sat in the car next to him.

At first he didn't address me, he shifted and drove for a block or so before finally responding. "Yeah, it was a last minute idea..."

Not a very insightful response. He looked as if he had a thousand things running through his mind, but he didn't voice a single problem, was he afraid to talk to me now? All because I went off on him yesterday after he finished ranting? That wasn't what I wanted... I have to bring it up so he understands I wasn't telling him to stop talking to me, but how to bring it up?...

It was a short drive, but I wasn't even sure if we were actually in the right place... nothing against Axel, but the way he acts does not suggest he'd live in a nice neighborhood like this... I mean, I know he's mentioned it a thousand times that his father is rich, and he is always complaining about it, but I didn't think he was that rich...

"Come on..." I slowly climbed out of the car, and I quickly followed. Axel might have stuck out, but I was the sore thumb at the moment, and I didn't want to be too far from my current chauffer.

"You live here?" wasn't the rudest thing I could say.

"Yes," he smirked, opening the front door to a large house. The first things I saw were the stairs, but it was definitely the nicest house I'd ever seen.

"Wow..." the words slipped from my lips, standing inside his front door made me feel ashamed of ever letting Axel even see my place of work. Let alone where I live.

"It's not that great..." he mumbled, seeming almost annoyed by my awe struck face. Without another word, he made his way further into the house, and afraid of being left behind, I quickly followed him all the way to a kitchen. Shinny appliances lined the whole area, and I never knew a kitchen could be so white. There was a woman sitting in the kitchen, flipping through a magazine, even as Axel approached her, she didn't even spare him a glance.

"Mom," he started, surprising me, "I want you to meet Roxas."

"Hello," she didn't even look up from the magazine. Axel stared at her for a second, before rolling his eyes and quickly walking away from her. "And this, sometimes charming individual, is Vanille." The name popped images into my brain, and those images very closely mirrored what the woman actually looked like. I guess my imagination was spot on in this scenario.

"I'm always charming, to those who deserve it," She spoke before she looked up, her smile spreading as her gaze met mine, "You must be Roxas." She barely waited for me to nod before she stood up and quickly wrapped me in a hug. Her hugs were warm, but not as warm as Axel's... "I'm so happy to finally meet you," she pulled away with a hug smile on her face.

I wanted to say something back, to return the enthusiasm, but I had no idea what to say. Axel spoke up for me, taking the spot light away.

"I'm sure he'd say the same thing... if he'd ever heard anything good about you," he snickered and she play slapped him... He always acts so angry when it comes to his personal life... but the bond he shares with his sister is something I wish I could have... The closest thing to that is the relationship I have with Riku, but I'm pretty sure our 'brotherly' relationship would fall in the category of 'Unhealthy'.

Axel began to walk away, Vanille sat up with a hurt expression, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go introduce him to Lea," the redhead called over his shoulder.

"Okay, well, come back when you're done." She looked at me as she whispered, "I'm the cool one," she didn't wait for a response from either of us before she turned back around in her seat, like nothing even happened.

The introduction with Lea was short lived, said child was to entranced in his video game to even spare me a glance. Which I'm glad, it meant a lot to me that he was introducing me to his family, but I actually cared what they thought of me and found my tongue stuck in my throat. My mind wasn't even thinking of things to say, so no need to stop the thoughts from pouring out, I had never had this feeling before...

We were back outside, Vanille making fun of Axel and he shooting the jokes right back. But I sat there, fading into the scenery, waiting to be spoken to before I opened my mouth.

"You know," Vanille looked at me, "Axel talks a lot about you, I didn't picture you being so quiet though..."

"I'm not," I licked my lip, but the look she gave me was confusion so I took an extra second to explain. "I've never met someone's family like this..." still needed clarification, "My ramblings get annoying, I don't want to start off annoying you... hopefully if I do good the first time, Axel will give me more chances in the future to steadily drive you insane."

The first look on her face was something like shock, while Axel lowered his head with a smile. He had such warm smiles...

"Me too!" I didn't understand her response, but I smiled back.

It was odd, the entire time Axel and I were talking to Vanille, I felt like a pair of eyes were watching me, but I dubbed that as crazy since his backyard was pretty secluded. My 'feelings' weren't wrong though.

After a quick glance, I noticed a man standing by a window upstairs, looming down at us. Once he noticed I'd seen him, he quickly moved, and before my mind could begin to wonder about who he was, he was in front of us.

"Axel," he spoke gently, "A word."

The redhead stood without a word, leaving Vanille and I in silence for a mere two seconds, and then we could both hear Axel shouting. Vanille saw my look of concern, but she only looked down at her own lap. It was like she knew why Axel was screaming, even though she wasn't explaining anything to me, I had a feeling it had something to do with me. There was yelling from another deep voice, but as loud as they were, I couldn't make out anything they were saying, and I really wanted to know.

"Roxas?" I'd never heard that voice say my name. My head spun so fast it took me a moment to realize it was said man again. "I'm sorry, but Axel isn't feeling well, he asked me to see you to the door."

My eyes glanced back at Vanille, who quickly jumped and began speaking. "I'll do one better," she stood up, "I'll take you home, I know Axel picked you up." That thought hadn't even crossed my mind, but I was a okay being with her, the man on the other hand... I didn't want to be alone with him, nope.

I followed her to the door, and into an unfamiliar car that instantly started driving. She drove much like Axel did, "Do you know where I live?" I hoped she was serious about bringing me home, because I had no idea where we were.

"Yes," she smiled, "Don't worry," she quickly added. Vanille waited for me to look at her before she continued talking. "Axel will probably stop over tonight, once things mellow out..." I stayed silent because I really had no idea what was going on. "I'm sure Axel will explain everything later, but..." She looked me dead in the eyes, "My dad can be off putting, but I like you, Axel likes you... I hope to see you more."

It sounded like a good bye, which considering we stayed silent for the rest of the ride, it pretty much was. She waved good bye before peeling away from the curb, she really did drive like Axel, but I stayed still on the sidewalk because I was so confused. Everything was going fine, and then suddenly Axel 'didn't feel well'?

Once inside, Riku didn't even spare me a glance, so I walked straight upstairs and thought myself into a depression. Because what else did I have to do?

Nothing... I wanted to talk to Axel, I wanted to know what happened and why, but I was stuck waiting, hoping Vanille was right and Axel would stop over again.

But the wait killed me, my eyes drifted shut and I never even realized till I heard frantic knocking on the door.

Did Riku forget his key again?

I pulled the door open, my mouth ready to sarcastically lecture the silver haired man, but then I remembered why I fell asleep like I had.

"Axel."

Before me stood the redhead, drenched in rain, his arms resting on both sides of the door frame, and before I could think to say anything else, he pressed his lips against mine.

It wasn't just rain, but sweat and tears, and yet again he stopped me from saying anything as his hand slowly closed around my wrist, pulling me down the stairs with him.

"Let's go..." his voice was hoarse from screaming, but I followed without a word.

Uploaded: October 22, 2017