Gone (But Not Forgotten)

~Together~

A/N: I attempted to keep the same atmosphere with the different plot. If you haven't guessed, this is the version where Tony found Ziva before "She."

Once again, I do not own NCIS. But thanks for letting me play in the sandbox.

. . .

She listened to the voicemails until she could recite them in her sleep.

Hearing McGee's voice was a twist of the knife. Sure, she'd overheard Tony occasionally talking with him since he'd caught up with her after her so-called death. But as the years went on, she knew he kept the conversations with their old co-worker short and infrequent. Not only for their safety but also for her sake. Hearing about NCIS made her wish that she wasn't technically dead. It made her want to go back.

As things were, she shouldn't have ever been this close to temptation. It wasn't her plan to keep Tony and Tali at her side but, dammit, she'd earned reprise from her loneliness! Is that not what she deserved after keeping to herself for so many years?

Tony had lied so sweetly to her that she couldn't have turned him away even if she wanted to. I can't have our daughter live without a mother. And there will never be anybody that could replace the hole you left in my heart. It was a line straight from a romance, though she'd been unable to discern which one. She'd watched many since they reunited and yet the answer never came to her.

They hid from everyone from their past lives. Technically, Anthony DiNozzo lived with Tali and his father in some estate in Paris but you'd be hard pressed to actually find them there. DiNozzo Sr. was the picture of discretion and though he harbored his suspicions, never asked where Tony and his daughter spent the duration of their time.

It was hard; especially with little Tali. They had to move as often as Orli instructed, shifting between covers just as the previous one became comfortable. Only in the whispers of the night could they be themselves.

Those were the moments she cherished most.

And now, she found herself being drawn back to D.C. though she hadn't returned since she initially left. Even with Tony there...she had never felt the need to go. But now? Now she could hear the whispers beckon her and they sounded like McGee (though she would never admit that to Tony).

The Morgan Burke case. It was her technical failure as a Probie and she never allowed herself the respite of letting it go. There was a break in the case and she couldn't bring herself to stay away. She promised, promised, that she would redeem the missing girl. Morgan Burke would receive justice if it was the last thing she could do as Ziva David. And it would be.

He warned her to stay away. It would threaten their covers, he said. Of course he was right. But was there ever a situation where she listened to such a silly thing? Even if he was her love, she was still her own person. She was no longer an NCIS agent and she was no longer bound by the rules her boss had taught her over the years. Do not become personally involved in a case. It didn't matter because this wasn't technically a case to her and she could get as involved as she pleased.

Nobody could stop her. Not even Tony.

She left in the cover of the night. Gone before he could talk some sense into her because sense was the last thing she wanted. She wanted revenge. Luckily, she wasn't alone.

Tony told her about Eleanor "Ellie" Bishop, the spunky woman who had replaced her. But he failed to inform her of the pretty blonde's spectacular knack for getting too-involved. She'd managed to entwine herself into Morgan's case and caught up to her notes with impressive speed.

This Eleanor was the type of woman she wished she could have worked with in a different version of the world where she returned to NCIS. She was the type of woman who made her reconsider her life of hiding. A dangerous thought. Not dangerous enough, however, to keep her in the shadows. She'd found herself back at her workshop, barely dodging her old friends. Her evasion had grown rusty these past few years. Perhaps she'd grown too soft.

She watched from the shadows as Eleanor took every necessary risk to find Morgan. Every risk that led her right to the business end of Robert Hill's gun. She poised her own weapon, waiting for the son-of-a-bitch to give her the chance to shoot. Thankfully he didn't because she would have hated to see Eleanor go down.

Eleanor made it out with Morgan alive. And her case, the one that haunted her since 2013, was finally closed. Mostly. She still had one thing left to do.

Stealing the letter Morgan's mother left for the kidnapper was her biggest risk. There was no contingency plan if she was caught. Neither Orli or Tony would be able to whisk her away. But she made a promise and she intended to see it through, regardless of the risk.

It pained her to be unable to communicate with the others. But it had to be this way. She didn't fall into hiding just to blow it all on some sort of reunion. There wasn't a way to divulge her secret beyond completely wrecking the peace she'd cultivated over the past three years. So, yes, she had to keep her secret. Indefinitely, if she had to.

There was only one person who suspected anything. Her. Eleanor "Ellie" Bishop. Probably sharper than her own good. But she would hardly call that a bad thing. In fact, she admired it. And in a different world, she knew the two of them were fast friends with no secrets between them.

In this world, they could only be passing figures with secrets tainted with comradery. One day, she'd have to ask Tony to send her a gift on her behalf. She wrote to this woman, this Eleanor Bishop, with the highest confidence that her secret would be kept. If she wanted to spill, she would have done so by now.

For the safety of my family, please keep my secret.

There were a lot of things Ziva David missed about NCIS. The found-family. The humanity. The closure she was able to offer. It brought her back to humanity. It found her the love of her life. In the distant, future, when her name was the barest whisper of a memory, perhaps she could return. And make amends for all she left behind.

But for now, this was all she could do.

She was back in bed with Tony before Eleanor even had the chance to find the letter.

~FIN~

A/N: You know, the more I think about it... the idea of Ziva never re-uniting with Tony and Tali makes "She" far more poignant.

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