Title: Forbidden Attraction

Author: MarieCarro

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rating: NC-17

Summary: To Edward Masen, Bella Swan was nothing more than his daughter's best friend, but that all changed when they both applied for the same weekly writing course. Suddenly, she didn't appear to be the young girl that had played with his daughter since her family moved in next door. What will Edward do when he realizes that he's developing a very forbidden attraction for a woman twenty-five years his junior? AH

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Word Count: 2, 549

CHAPTER 8

Just like we said, Bella and I stopped talking until I figured myself out, but it killed me every day to not hear her sweet voice in my ear. That in itself should have been enough indication that I could barely function without her, but I was all too aware that I couldn't be selfish in my decision, and therefore, I decided to see what people in my proximity would feel about me dating a younger woman.

I was out at a sports bar with one of my longtime friends, Felix, taking a beer and watching a baseball game when I broached the subject. "How long did you wait after your divorce to start dating again?" I started carefully, hoping to ease into it.

Felix tore his eyes from the TV behind the bar and turned to me. "Uuh, I don't know, maybe a month, but that was mostly for Jane's sake. Why?"

I took a swig of my beer and shrugged noncommittally as if I was just making conversation. "My divorce was finalized two months ago, and I was wondering if it's too early to start dating again."

Felix frowned. "Too early according to who? To Mary?"

I shrugged again.

Felix sighed. "It's never easy to watch your spouse move on without you. No matter how long you wait, it will always be too early for Mary, and for Alice as well, but only you can make the decision." He patted me on the shoulder and brought his own bottle of beer to his mouth without taking his eyes off me. "How is the single life treating you by the way? Because honestly, you look a bit worn out."

I chuckled humorlessly. I was beyond worn out and mentally stressed to the brim. I was constantly on edge thinking about Bella, wanting to be with her, but also worrying about the consequences if we ever became official and came out with our relationship.

I needed to know what the reactions would be, so I glanced at Felix, trying to gauge his mood and predict what he would say.

"Well, I am a bit tired because I've been seeing a new woman for awhile." There was no reaction whatsoever from Felix as I revealed this. "That doesn't surprise you?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I understood it was something like that when you asked about dating. You forget I know you better than you know yourself, Edward," he replied with a teasing smile, and I laughed in response.

"Yeah? Well, maybe you can tell me what to do then, because everything has become a very complicated mess."

"How so?"

"She has started to want more than what we have."

"And?"

I groaned in frustration as I knew that I had to come clean about my dirty secret now or I would forever remain silent. "And while I wouldn't oppose it personally, no one would understand our relationship."

Felix frowned, obviously confused. "I am not following you. Why would no one understand?"

I cleared my throat and took another drink of my beer to gain some courage. "She's...uuh...she's a bit younger that what might be socially acceptable."

"How much younger?"

I couldn't answer. I just couldn't. I was all too aware of the hint of disgust in Felix's tone. He knew I wasn't talking about a five to ten year age difference. He just knew.

"Edward, how much younger?" he pushed, and I couldn't look at him as I answered.

"She'll turn twenty-one in six months," I mumbled out, but he heard me.

"Damn..." he whispered out, finally grasping the enormity of my secret. "Are you fucking insane? Have you utterly lost your mind?"

I flinched at his words, but I just had to try and defend myself somehow. "I know it's a huge age difference, I've been aware of it from the beginning."

"You don't say? You're practically robbing the cradle. How the hell did you two meet? She's not even legal to drink yet. You were married longer than she's been alive!"

I closed my eyes and massaged my temples as I could feel a headache coming on. "Felix, please, I know all of this, but when the attraction is there, what are you supposed to do?"

He threw his hands out exasperatedly, almost tipping his beer bottle over. "Nothing! You don't do anything. Seriously, Edward, how far have you gone with this girl? Because that's what she is, a girl. I mean, isn't she the same age as Alice?"

I flinched again when he mentioned Alice. If he was already freaking out, how would he react when he realized it was Bella I was talking about. Felix knew who Bella was. He had met her himself on several occasions when she was hanging with Alice and he came over.

He misinterpreted my flinch though, and the fire in him died as he realized how deep in this I was. "You've already fucked her, haven't you?"

I didn't need to answer.

He propped his elbows up on the bar and supported his chin on his hands. "Please tell me she wasn't a virgin at least. I beg you to tell me that you haven't ruined this girl."

I was just about to tell him that I hadn't taken her virginity when I suddenly realized that I didn't know. That first time on my desk had been so heated and rushed, I couldn't recall if Bella showed any discomfort. It made me nervous that I didn't know because what if that was the reason Bella felt the way she did. If I was her first, was her feelings real or just a reaction to what her body was telling her.

I thought about that day in my apartment and how she had teased me. The way she sucked me spoke of her experience in that area at least, because there was no way that was the first time she gave oral. She was way too confident.

I had to talk to her about it all, but for now, I gave my friend a little white lie. "No, she wasn't a virgin."

"Well, there's that at least."

It was silent for a minute and my thoughts once again went back to the meetings Bella and I had in my office. I thought about our first kiss and couldn't stop myself from chuckling when I remembered what she wore that day.

Felix looked at me as if I was crazy. "Would you believe me if I told you she was the one who seduced me?" I said, and when he shook his head, my chuckle became a laugh instead. This was what I meant that no one would understand the relationship Bella and I had. No one could understand the dynamic, and that the shy twenty-year-old Bella could possibly become the sexy, confident young woman she was with me. They wouldn't understand that I wasn't the predator in this story.

I knew we wouldn't reach an understanding, so I decided to deflect the seriousness of the situation and bring some humor into it. I nudged him lightly with my elbow. "C'mon, as if you've never fantasized about being with a twenty-something. It's like, every man's dream, right?" I said with a light tone, even though I hated how I kind of trivialized what I had with Bella by saying this.

"Yeah, well, the difference is my fantasies stay in my head. I don't act them."

"Mmhm." I refused to believe that if he was presented with the opportunity he would actually say no. No man in his right mind would, and I doubted Felix was as righteous as he wanted to appear. "Tell me then..." I scanned around the bar until I spotted one of the young waitress's. She was easily the youngest and I suspected she wasn't many months older than Alice and Bella. She was also definitely Felix's type; petite, cute face, her blonde hair cut very short. "Let's say the waitress over there," I nodded in her direction and Felix looked over at her. "If she came over here and told you that, after her shift, she would like to go home with you, would you actually tell her no?" I smiled, because I had him there. His eyes told me everything because as they glazed over, I knew he was imagining it.

He exhaled and admitted defeat. "Okay, yeah, you're right, I wouldn't say no, but I wouldn't exactly pursue a relationship with someone that young either."

"Not even if everything just feels right when you're together?"

"You're talking as if you're in love with this girl or something," he threw at me and smiled at the preposterousness of the possibility. When I didn't deny it, his eyes widened. "Are you?"

"I told you it was complicated."

He ran a hand through his shortly cropped hair. "Seriously, Edward, I have no advice whatsoever to give you on this. It's fucked up, and as you said, no one will understand a relationship between you and this girl. They will all believe you're either forcing her into it or that she's some gold-digging wretch and you're her sugar daddy."

I sighed deeply as I already knew this, but it didn't make it easier to hear it from someone else. "Does it really matter, though?" I asked. "If those I care about know the truth, shouldn't that be enough?"

Felix scoffed. "Do you really believe Alice will be okay with it no matter what the truth is? That her dad is dating and therefore sleeping with someone her own age? She will think it's creepy as hell. And if for some miraculous reason, you and this girl have a successful relationship, what then? Will you marry her? Start a family all over again? Have you thought any of this through?"

"More times than I can count," I replied tiredly. "I'm too old to start a family again, and marriage is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I know I'm depriving her of these things if we pursue a real relationship, and I've tried to push her away numerous times in order for her to realize that I shouldn't be what she wants, but she hangs on. For some reason, she wants me."

"Can't see why." Felix chuckled at his own joke, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're not exactly a catch yourself."

"Hey, I'm a great catch, and you know it," he continued, so I just shook my head in response, and then sighed. I had just confessed my deepest, darkest and dirtiest secret to Felix, and while I felt a bit better to have confided in my friend, I wasn't any closer to an answer.

"Seriously, man, what the hell should I do?"

He was instantly serious again and clapped me on the back. "To me, it sounds like you need to straighten some things out with the girl first before you do anything else. You need to know what her expectations are before you announce anything to the world."

I nodded. "Yeah, you have a point." I tilted my head back and emptied the last of my beer in one go.

I sat down on my couch with my phone in hand and brought up Bella's number in my contacts but hesitated as my thumb hovered over the green phone below her name.

She said she didn't want to talk before I'd made a decision, and so if I called her, she would assume I could give her an answer. I knew what I wanted, but the problem now was that I didn't know what she wanted.

There was no way around it. I had to have this conversation with her before we could even consider moving forward, and with that thought in my mind, I touched the key and brought the phone up to my ear.

Almost all the signals beeped, and for a second I thought I would have to call again later, but then a breathless Bella answered.

"Edward?"

"Bella? Are you okay? Why are you breathing so hard?"

"Oh, sorry! I'm at the gym, and I was doing sprints on the treadmill," she explained and then there was the sound of her gulping down water.

I couldn't stop myself from imagining Bella sweaty and flushed from exertion and my mind went into what other things that would cause her to pant like she was now, and I had to hold in a groan.

"If you're too busy to talk right now, maybe you could call me later tonight?" I told her, my head still in the gutter and my jeans were becoming increasingly tighter by the second.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked carefully, and my semi immediately softened as I heard in her voice how unsure she was. I could only imagine how difficult it must have been to not know what answer I would give her.

"Us. It's long overdue, don't you think?"

"Yeah," she replied softly, and then cleared her throat. "I will call you when I'm back in my room. I was about done here anyway, so I'm just gonna do my stretches."

This time, I couldn't hold in my groan. "Are you deliberately trying to kill me?" I asked jokingly, and Bella immediately caught on to where my mind was.

"Yes," she said coyly. "I have to keep you wanting so you won't forget me." She giggled lightly, and the sound warmed me up.

"As if that would even be possible."

"I'll call you soon."

We hung up and I leaned back and covered my face with my hands in pure frustration. If she told me that children were a must in her future, I wasn't sure that I would be able to walk away from her.

I went to the cabinet in the bookshelf where I stored my liquor and poured myself a generous amount of Talisker. I'd been drinking more since Bella gave her ultimatum and if we couldn't stay together, I was afraid I would become a true alcoholic.

I was pacing the length of the room as I waited for her call, taking too large gulps of my whiskey in the process. I was already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, but when my glass was empty, I went to refill it anyway.

I wanted so many things with the coming conversation, all at once, and while I knew what my selfish side wanted, and had always wanted without a question, I had the responsibility on my shoulders to be the mature one. I had to be the one to think everything through until there was nothing left to analyze because if we went forward and then everything went to hell, I'd be the one drawing the shorter straw.

Finally, my phone started to ring, and I practically dived for it on the table, but instead of answering while my heart was thundering in my throat, I took a deep calming breath before sliding the green phone to the right on the screen.