Disclaimer: All twilight characters are property of S.M and not me.

Ch.3

I woke up the next morning curled up on top of the bed covers, still wearing my clothes from the night before. It was early. The room was dimly illuminated by a predawn light that drifted in through the open curtains. I rolled onto my back and stretched my sore muscles, staring at the ceiling.
I was weird, being back in this bedroom. I hadn't lived here since I was five, and since then I had only visited a handful of times, preferring Charlie to visit us in Arizona instead. The walls were a neutral gray, with lilac bed sheets and a purple desk. The bookshelf was empty save for a few picture books and the odd toy. But mostly it just didn't feel like home. I reached to my backpack which was sitting on the floor next to the bed and pulled out my tattered pooh teddy, hugging it to my chest. Hugging something made me feel better, about being here, where I didn't know anybody, and I probably never would.
I could feel my eyes filling up with tears, my throat dry, but I could do nothing to stop them from falling. I just held Pooh, and tried not to wake Charlie with my tears.
I cried until I physically could not cry anymore. I doubt there was anymore water left inside my body. I felt lousy. Worse than lousy. I didn't want to move, I wanted to just stay here, sinking slowly into the mattress until I was impossible for me to move at all. Until I was simply a part of the furniture of the room. Truly invisible, and no longer a burden.
Eventually though, I had to get up. The bathroom was calling me. I rolled off of the bed, habitually tucking Pooh bear into the blankets as I did. I opened my suitcases, grabbing my shower supplies and bathrobe. I figured I might as well get that out of the way while I was in there. Charlie's house had a single bathroom, across the hall from my room. I approached with caution, afraid of waking Charlie up. This didn't feel like my house, in spite of Charlie's multiple insistences on the flight here that I 'make myself at home'.

Freshly showered I headed back to my room, closing the door softly behind me. I grabbed a change of clothes from my bags, half the contents spilling out onto the floorboards as I rooted through to find where I had put all my socks. I didn't bother putting everything back, I'd get to it eventually.
I was about to start dressing, when I realized that the curtains were still open. It was still early morning, but the sun had fully risen, and the neighboring property had windows that directly aligned with mine.
The curtains were held open by a piece of rope each, I had just started to unhook the rope on the right side when I noticed a girl sitting on a rope swing in next door's garden. She looked to be about my age, maybe a year or two younger. She was dressed in a floaty summer dress, seemingly unaware of the slight chill in the morning air. What intrigued me most was that she wasn't swinging, just sitting on the swing and staring, off in to the distance, not moving at all.
I watched her for about a minute, before realizing that I was probably being just a bit creepy, and I hastily shut the curtains, hoping she hadn't seen.

My first day in Forks I stayed safely inside the house. Charlie coaxed me downstairs in the afternoon to watch a movie and eat pizza. He wasn't as chatty as he had been yesterday, perhaps my lack of replies made him reluctant to ask so many questions. I sat on the couch, he sat in the armchair, and we ate our pizzas in relative silence, the only noise coming from the television. I have no idea what the movie was about, I didn't pay attention.
I retreated back to my bedroom when the movie was over and Charlie switched over to the sports network. I don't think he noticed my leaving. Safely back in my room I sat on the floor and gazed at the suitcases, still full of my clothes. I probably should unpack them, I thought to myself, but unpacking meant accepting that I lived here. And I doubted that I was ready to do that.
I left it all on the floor, crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of rain lashing against the window. The branches of the tree in the yard tapping the siding of the house.
"So much for summer." I muttered to myself before I got out of bed and headed downstairs to make myself a coffee. I was awake before Charlie again, the clock on the oven telling me it was a little before 7am. I headed back to my room with my coffee. I got dressed in some comfy sweatpants and a soft cardigan while my coffee cooled, and sat down in my old rocking chair to drink it.
For some reason, I decided to watch the rain while I drank, before the novelty wore off, so I nudged the curtains open and settled back down to drink. It was then that I saw the dark haired girl was sitting out on the swing again. Just like yesterday, she wasn't moving at all, just sitting there, while the rain soaked her. She didn't even have a jacket on, just a dark long sleeved t-shirt that was probably doing little to keep her dry or warm. Again I felt guilty for watching her,but in some way, I felt a strange kinship with swing girl, sitting there in the rain. I wished I could be as comfortable outdoors as she clearly was, but the only place I felt I could hide from the world was indoors.
After a few minutes I decided that I had intruded on her privacy long enough, and I turned the chair to face away from the window. I set my coffee mug on the floor when I was done, then lay back in the chair and shut my eyes.
I think I fell back to sleep, although I can't be sure. The next thing I remember was the creak of my door opening, starling my eyes open just as Charlie peeked his head into the room.
"Oh, morning Bells. Sleep okay?" He asked and I nodded in reply.
"Good! That's good. I'm gonna make some toast for breakfast, want some?"
"Uh, s-sure I guess." I replied. Truthfully I was starving, but nothing sounded good, and I could have killed for another cup of coffee.
"Perfect, I'll get started then." Charlie disappeared before I could reply. I stood slowly and followed him, my coffee mug forgotten on the floor.
In the kitchen I was greeted to the sight of my dad frantically opening and closing the various cabinets.
"Sorry Bells, looks like toast is a no go, we're out of bread." He looked at me with trepidation. "I have cereal though, you like Cheery-Os right?" He held the box up to me as he asked.
"T-t-they're ok." I muttered, although in truth they were quite possibly my last favorite of all cereals.
"Alrighty then." Charlie smiled, setting the box on the table before grabbing bowls and spoons from the cupboard, placing them on the table before heading over to the refrigerator. He opened and closed the door without getting anything out. "Are you alright to eat it dry? We're er, we're out of milk." He admitted.
"Its fine." I said, pouring a small serving into a bowl and picking a couple up with my fingers, tossing them into my mouth. They were blander dry, although verging on stale.
"Looks like we're going to have to make a trip to the grocery store Bells." Charlie said as we ate. "How'd you like to come with me? That way we can pick up some stuff you like."
"Yeah, ok." I replied before tossing a couple more pieces of cereal into my mouth.
I managed to eat a few bites before the taste and texture began to bother me too much to continue, and I pushed the bowl away from me.
"Perfect. I just gotta go shower, be ready to go in about 30 minutes?"
"Sure."
"Great." Charlie said, taking our bowls and disposing of the contents in the trashcan before heading upstairs.
I stayed in the kitchen, made another cup of coffee and sipped it slowly. When I heard the shower turn off I made my way upstairs, grabbing some shoes and my bag, which I slung across my shoulders. I reached into the bag and pulled out my cellphone, I had 4 unread text messages from Renee, asking how I was, how the flight was, and how was liking Forks. I quickly typed 'I'm fine.' in reply before shoving the phone back into my bag and heading back downstairs to wait for Charlie.
The idea of going grocery shopping terrified me. I didn't want strangers staring at me or asking me questions, and I wasn't sure if going with Charlie would make that better or worse. However, I needed to get some supplies, and we did desperately need food. At least with Charlie there, he could do all the talking.

Forks was a small town, the drive to the grocery store took ten minutes, if that. The store was smaller than I was used to, a stand alone building rather than part of a strip mall. The parking lot was mostly empty, I guess grocery shopping was an unpopular task on a Monday morning.
I followed Charlie around, he pushed the cart, I added a few things that sounded ok to me, carrots, hummus, a bag of apples. To my dismay the Italian aisle was limited mostly to boxes of spaghetti and different brands of sauce. They either didn't sell pesto or were out of it. I added a few jars of a simple tomato and basil sauce to the cart anyway. Maybe I could email and ask if they would stock pesto for me? It was kind of a necessity for me.
We shopped uninterrupted until we reached the register, when the cashier struck up a conversation with Charlie, asking him how his recovery was going. Thankfully she didn't try to talk to me.

Back at the house, I helped Charlie get the bags into the kitchen, after setting them down on the table, I turned to head back to my room.
"Hang on a minute Bells, we need to have a little chat." He said. I felt my heart beat a little louder in my chest as Charlie gestured at me to sit at the table while he stood, leaning against the counter. In the silence, I began to feel even more tense, gripping the sides of my chair tightly with my hands in an attempt to steady myself.
After a few minutes of silence, Charlie eventually began to talk.
"Look, Bella. I know you've been dealing with some stuff. That you've been feeling pretty low for a while." I internally scoffed at Charlie's understatement. "I want you to know that you're not alone. If you need to talk, I'm here. And if you don't want to talk to me then that's fine, we can get you someone to talk to that isn't your old Dad." He smiled at me, the corners of his mustache lifting up as he did.
I dropped my eyes to look at the table top. "Okay Dad." I quietly replied.
"Okay, good. One more thing. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and I made one for you too. Renee told me you'd stopped taking your medication."
I looked at him with wide eyes. I hated doctors, I hated that medication.
"Don't give me that look Bella. We're going to try and find something to make you feel better. But I do want you to talk to the doctor. I can leave the room, if you'd rather talk to them without me being there. But you are going to talk to them. We have to try something, you'll never feel better if you don't."
He left it at that, and I was thankful that the interrogation was over, and that I hadn't really been required to do much talking. I grabbed an apple from the bag on the table and a glass of water and retreated to the safety of my bedroom, where I exiled myself for the remainder of the day, doodling in a notepad and playing on my phone until it got late and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next day was a bad day. Waking up, I could feel myself fighting the fatigue that had been plaguing me for months. A pressure that clouded my mind and make even opening my eyelids a struggle. I slipped easily back into unconsciousness several times throughout the day, never staying awake long enough to drag myself out of bed. It was growing dark by the time I felt able to get up. I made a quick trip to the bathroom before heading to the kitchen, making myself a sandwich and a large glass of water which I brought up to my room and ate sitting in my rocking chair.
In spite of my day, I had no trouble falling asleep that night.

When I woke up the next morning I was still tired, but determined not to spend the entire day asleep again. Charlie's words from the day before echoed in my head. I had to try to feel better, even if it turned out to be useless.
I forced myself to put on my slippers and a hoodie and head down to the kitchen to make coffee. Charlie was already up, sitting in the armchair watching the morning news.
"Morning Bells, there's coffee in the pot already." He called out as I passed by, ignoring my disappearance yesterday, Renee must have warned him about my tendency to hide away from the world in my bedroom.
Finding the largest mug I could, I filled it with coffee, adding a spoon of sugar to cut through the bitterness and took it back upstairs. I was a sunny morning, a rarity for Forks, even in June. I opened the curtains, letting the sunlight into the room. If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend I was back in Scottsdale.
I sat myself in the arm chair again, sipping my coffee and staring at the sunlight bouncing off the leaves of the trees outside. The dark haired girl was out on her swing again. I took a large gulp of coffee and settled comfortably into my chair. I guess we both had our morning routines. Again, I tried not to watch her, and turned my attention back to the sunshine, just in case she turned around.

A.N

Hi to everyone reading,

My muse has been a little persistent over the last few days. I can't promise that all the updates will be as frequent, but please know that I am committed to getting this story out.
Please feel free to add the story to your alerts if you're enjoying it, or leave a review (equally feel free to review if there's anything you think needs work).
Mental illness is something I personally an dealing with, and if you feel that you are, please don't struggle alone. If you have no one else, you are welcome to contact me.

Have a wonderful week,
Liv