A/N:
I think I need to clear something up here because a lot of you have mentioned Edward and Bella's age difference and that despite them not having sex, it was statutory rape and he should be charged with sexual misconduct/assault.
To me, this whole thing of statutory rape is a completely foreign concept because in Sweden, our age of consent is 15, and Bella did give her consent every time after that first time when he coerced her (yes, that can be seen as assault, and it was written in there to show what a dickbag Edward was)
I apologize for any mistakes around the information about the US Army. I did research as much as I could, but there's only so much understanding a Swede can have of the US Military Forces. I received loads of help from my Beta on this subject!
A few abbreviations that are important to know for this chapter.
BCT – Basic Combat Training
ASVAB – Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery
AIT – Advanced Individual Training
Furthermore, this chapter spans over a period of 13 years, so there will be sporadic time jumps that aren't marked in detailed, but I hope you'll keep up anyway ;-)
Title: The Perfect Partner Program
Author: MarieCarro
Beta: EdwardsFirstKiss
Pre-reader: brwneyedgrl01
Genre: Angst/Hurt&Comfort/Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The summer of 2005 was the summer that changed Bella Swan's life forever. Sent to Ohio by her mother to attend a school for debutante girls not quite up to par, she meets Edward Masen, an apprentice. But is that really all he is? AH
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Word Count: 2, 944
CHAPTER 17 IN ORDER TO HEAL
A lot of changes took place in the following months after Renée and George's scheme had been revealed.
I moved in with Becca and Rachel, who did not mind having me in her house at all since she already saw me as her surrogate daughter, Dad filed for divorce, and I found out that I had underestimated him when it came to his trust in Renée.
First, he had been smart enough to have had a prenuptial agreement drawn up before they married, and because the wedding had been pushed by the Higgenbothams', Renée had signed it without much thought, and could not argue against it now.
The best part, though, was the safety net Dad had arranged from the moment he knew that Renée was pregnant. He had opened a savings account in Nana and Pop's names where he'd deposited every cent he could put aside without Renée noticing its absence, and they had taken care of the growing money until the day they died.
That account had then been changed into my name and was for all intents and purposes, completely unreachable by Renée as it was technically seen as my money.
She would still get half of their joint assets in the divorce, and Dad had also signed over the house to her because that was one of her demands, and he refused to make his separation from her more drawn out than it had to be.
In an attempt that was doomed to fail from the start, she had tried to get more than her share and had insisted on sole custody of me. However, since I had turned seventeen at that point and was less than a year from being a legal adult, my choice was taken into consideration, and I had made it clear that I would rather be homeless than have to live with her.
Dad had also wanted to pursue legal actions against Mrs. Cullen and the Academy, and even more against Edward. However, I had been able to convince him that with me as the only witness, it was doomed to fail, and instead of stirring up the hornet's nest and start a whirlwind of lawsuits and courtrooms, I'd be better off if we left the entire thing behind us.
He didn't like that, but he didn't want to go against my wishes, either.
Just before Christmas, Dad had bought a house that was much smaller than what the both of us had grown used to but I fell in love with it the moment I stepped over the threshold. I saw the potential of making it a home without all the haunted memories, and our first Christmas together, just the two of us, was the happiest I had been in a very long time.
I never began my junior year because I refused to go to the school where I would undoubtedly run into George. Instead, Dad hired a private tutor and arranged for me to finish high school through an online program from Stanford University. The result of which, as well as finally being away from Renée, caused my grades to soar.
I was on track to finish high school the following April, and my dream of joining the army flared up anew.
With Dad's permission, since I was still a minor, I started to make calls to recruitment offices to find out more about what was needed, and what steps I had to take. I was told that graduating high school would be ideal, but a GED could be accepted depending on my score.
From that moment on, I was determined to pass all of my academic work if that meant I could apply for a place in the army and start my BCT early, hence getting as far away from Renée and the Carters' as I could without moving out of the country.
It was also a way for me to focus on something else than the constant pain I had felt after discovering that everything between Edward and me had truly been faked. I had only been a job for him. From the very start, I had meant nothing more.
Before I knew that, it had in a weird way been easier to deal with his betrayal. Even though he was presumably only using me for sex; it had still been a form of desire, and I had still felt wanted even if it hadn't been what I had hoped. Now, even that small part of my heart that had somehow survived had been ground to dust, and I had strong doubts that I would ever feel completely whole again. There were just too many pieces to put back together.
Months passed at an incredible speed and the days were filled with studies, spending free time with Becca, and sometimes her new boyfriend, Solomon. Although, I blankly refused to go on any double dates. I didn't want to have anything to do with guys unless it was solely platonic and friendly.
It didn't take long for me to reach my goal of graduating a year early. Since I hadn't applied to colleges, my tutor told me that I could take a Gap year if I wanted, but I was dead set on enlisting in the military.
Dad, even though he was proud I wanted to serve our country, still felt he needed to make sure that it was what I really wanted.
"It's a huge commitment, Doll. Once you've signed a contract, that's it. You can't get out of it until it expires."
I had smiled at him reassuringly. "I know, Dad. I've done my research, and I've been very thorough. I know what I'm getting into, but this is really something I want to do. I've even taken a trial ASVAB test online and the results showed I could have a great career ahead of me in the army."
"I'm sure you could. I just can't help but be slightly worried."
"And you have every right to be, but I need to do this. It's something I've wanted for so long, but was scared I wouldn't be allowed to do because of Renée and George."
As soon as I mentioned their names, Dad understood my need, and from that moment on, he was only ever supportive of my choice.
Once I'd taken all the tests, and passed them, I was offered a standard eight-year contract with four years of active duty and four years of inactive service, which could be extended if I wanted further down the road.
I was sent to Fort Jackson base in South Carolina for my basic training, which was the furthest I could be sent from home. It had been difficult to say goodbye to Becca and Dad when the day of my departure arrived because contact would be minimal during the ten weeks of basic training. Cell phones weren't allowed and they were taken the minute us new recruits stepped off the bus.
Those ten weeks were the most physically draining I'd ever experienced in my life, but I also felt invigorated in a way I never had before. It was exhilarating to feel my body become stronger through muscle aches, as well as my skills becoming sharper.
After BCT, I had to relocate to Oklahoma, to the Fort Sill base for my AIT in Air Defense Artillery, and it was during that time that I first met Garrett Martin, my AIT Sergeant.
A year had passed since I had been torn down, and despite the instant physical attraction I felt when I first saw Garrett, I still fought it tooth and nail. I was determined to not let another guy in that could potentially ruin everything I'd built back up.
What I had not expected was his own reluctance to admit that he felt something more for me, and it slowly changed my attitude toward him. He wasn't as forward as Edward or as pushy as George, and it gave me a sense of security.
I knew instantly when I had fallen in love because that night I didn't go to bed. The realization of the depth of my feelings for the man that I wasn't allowed to love for many reasons, one being that he was my Sergeant and I was his Soldier, had caused me such anxiety that I had put on my running shoes and ran lap after lap after lap on the track in the hope of relieving the tightening in my chest.
Eventually, I had collapsed from exhaustion, and a guard had notified Garrett since he was my superior. I had woken up in the base's medical clinic with an IV in my arm because I had suffered dehydration. Once I could finally look Garrett in the eyes again, we both knew we couldn't deny the inevitable any longer.
We had to sneak around in the beginning, making our relationship more exciting.
Garrett was my first in many aspects. My first—real—relationship; the first guy I had felt fully secure with; the guy I gave my virginity to; the first guy who responded with 'I love you, too' when I told him how I felt, and the first guy I could see a happy future with.
I wanted to introduce him to Dad and Becca, and I wanted to meet his family in return.
When we both felt that sneaking around wasn't what we wanted for each other, we came to the unanimous decision that he would ask to be assigned to a different unit because he couldn't remain my Sergeant if we wanted to be together. His views of me would always be clouded because of our feelings, so while it hurt that we could no longer see each other every day, we knew it was for the best.
As our relationship progressed, we started to plan for the future. When he found out about my dream of becoming a cop, he said he would like me to pursue that dream. It would mean that we could eventually have a permanent home together if I served my active duty time, and then applied for the Army Reserve for the remaining four years of my contract. He said he wanted a life with me, to get married, and start a family.
We had been together for almost two years. I had turned twenty, and I wanted everything that he wanted so badly. I wanted Garrett to be my husband, and I wanted to have children with him. Children who would always know that they were loved and accepted and wanted by their parents.
I thought everything was finally lining up in my life.
Dad had met a new woman, Susan Tozzi, or Sue as she preferred to be called, and like Dad, she was divorced and had two children of her own; Lilliana and Samuele. They were engaged to be married in the summer after my twenty-first birthday since my active duty would have reached its end by then, and I could easily attend their wedding.
Becca had stayed with Solomon, and they celebrated their three-year anniversary by moving in together into a small apartment on the outskirts of Seattle while Becca finished college.
I never heard from Renée or George ever again, and I felt that I could let the past go when memories of Edward came back to haunt my life with a vengeance.
Garrett broke up with me just one month after our two-year anniversary. While he said that it destroyed him to do it and that he loved me more than he had ever loved a girl before, he could see that my past baggage was still weighing me down, and it had driven a wedge between us that he could not remove.
He told me of the wall I had built around myself that I wasn't even aware of until he pointed it out; that it pained him beyond comprehension that I wasn't giving him my heart as he had given me his, and that he wished it could be different, but being with me hurt too much.
The second I saw his back disappear out the door, something dark and cold took root in me. It made me feel nauseous at first because the overwhelming hate I felt for not only Renée and George for having put me through everything, but also for Edward for having acted as their executor, was so intense I was amazed it could fit inside me without causing me to burst into flames.
Even when they were no longer involved, they continued to destroy my life.
Because of them, I was unable to give Garrett what he deserved, which was a happy life with an undamaged woman.
My hate for Edward was the hate that started to fester because while Renée had been the mastermind, and George had mostly been a spectator, Edward had been the one who had not only lured me up onto the scaffold but also gotten me to willingly lay down my head on the block for the beheading.
After that entire ordeal, I noticed that my passion and drive had vanished and I was closer to being a cyborg than I was a human. I never allowed my feelings to show, and I only did what I was told. The moment my contract allowed it, I asked to be assigned to Fort Lewis and McChord Air Force base in Washington for my Reserve Duty since that was closest to home.
My wish was granted, and I gratefully went back to Dad and Becca, the only two people in my life that I had ever been able to rely on and trust completely. Although when I left Oklahoma I could feel the piece of me that belonged to Garrett, and always would, break free and stay behind with him.
The result was that I came back home with more mended cracks in my heart than I had when I first left Seattle before my eighteenth birthday.
Dad allowed me to move in with him and Sue until I could get back on my feet, and I had never appreciated him or my stepmother as much as I did in those first months. It was while living with them that I realized and understood how perfect Sue was for Dad, and I was overjoyed that he had found someone that deserved the love he had to give.
I also had the chance to know my siblings-to-be.
Lilliana, or Lilly, was four years older than me while Sam was a year younger. Lilly had a family of her own; a husband and a two-year-old daughter, who was also named Isabella, while Sam still lived with Dad and Sue.
Eventually, I did what I had spoken of for the last five years. I went to the Police Academy, and I don't think I had ever seen Dad as proud as he was when he handed me my badge at the graduation ceremony.
The years passed, and I lived on. I kept my head above the surface and survived. I went to college to study criminology while I worked part-time as a rookie officer in Dad's old precinct. I didn't care about relationships, though. I wasn't interested, and the only time I allowed men near me was for the occasional one-night stand. It wasn't an ideal life, but it was my life, and I wasn't being controlled by anyone else but myself, and I dealt.
Once I'd finished my studies, my focus was on my work, and like Dad, I excelled at it. I was promoted to detective just before my twenty-eighth birthday. By then, my time in the military was up; my contract had expired, and even though it hadn't ended in the best way possible, my time as a soldier was something I would always be proud of.
I did feel lonely, though. After I'd found my dream home, which was in reality too big for one person and meant for a family, my thoughts started to wander to the things I was missing in life.
When Becca married Solomon, I wondered whether I would ever get married.
When Lilly had her second baby, another little girl, I questioned if I'd ever have the children I'd wanted with Garrett.
When Sam met his girlfriend, I doubted I would ever love again.
My friends and colleagues at my new department suggested I should get a dog if I felt lonely, and a few of the guys took it upon themselves to set me up on blind dates, but every time, I laughed and waved them off even though it had pained me to do it.
It wasn't until I was eating dinner with Becca and Solomon one night, and Becca joked over her third glass of wine.
"Have a baby! You wouldn't be alone then; problem solved!" she laughed, but something stuck with me.
She was right. I wouldn't be alone, and while I knew that was no reason to have a baby, I'd wanted children of my own since I was twenty years old. In my head, I'd always thought I needed a man in my life before I could think of children. But the truth was that I wasn't ready to let a man into my life, and it was possible I never would be after everything I'd gone through.
A baby, on the other hand, I was more than ready for, and I knew I would give that child all the love I'd never received from Renée, and there were ways to have a baby without a father.
A/N:
I know that was a hell of a lot of info in one chapter, and if you're confused, I promise I will answer any questions you have about this chapter :)