A/N: So sorry for the delay. The dinner scene was initially much longer, but I quickly realized I was trying to add everything all at once. So, I shortened it, even though it is still kinda long. LOL, I'm exhausted. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, please review and let me know.
Emma listened intently as her parents recounted their first meeting. Despite that Henry had that book Emma had never read the story of her parents. She felt guilty for even asking; she knew most of what happened after they got together, but she had never heard the story of how they actually met. The first half of the meal had been relatively quiet, as everyone wrestled with the emotions. This had been their first family dinner, and though it was awkward, it was perfect.
"…So, I knocked the thief of his horse and that's when I discovered that the thief was in fact a woman…a very strong, very beautiful woman…" James continued, smiling at his wife. Mary beamed brightly, the love and adoration she felt for her husband shining through.
"Then I picked up a rock, hit him in the head with it and ran…" Emma almost choked on her dinner at her mother's words, not having expected to hear that. Not exactly the most romantic first encounter, she mused.
"And you still fell in love with her?" Emma asked in disbelief, leveling her father with an incredulous and teasing glare.
"Not right away…" James made eye contact with Snow as he spoke, his eyes communicating more than his words ever could. "A few misadventures later, though, I was in love."
"Wow…that is quite the story…" Emma said in awe. She tried to imagine how she and Gold would explain how they met if asked; she tried not to laugh as she pictured it in her mind.
"What about you, Emma, any first or true love's?" James asked, regretting the question the moment it left his lips. Emma stared at him blankly, looking like a deer caught in headlights as she gulped the last of her wine.
"My father…" Henry blurted out before Emma could say a word. "He was a fireman and he used to visit Emma at the diner she worked at and they would eat pumpkin pie together. It was pumpkin, right?" Emma swallowed hard, forcing a tight smile as she nodded. Her heart constricted at the sight of her son, excited to recount the details of a father who never existed. She could only hope that Henry never learned the truth, and only ever saw his father as a hero.
"Speaking of, is anyone ready for dessert?" Mary said breathlessly, rising from her seat. Mary knew that the story of Henry's father was false, but James didn't, Emma hoped he wouldn't push the issue further.
"I am…" Henry said, practically jumping from his seat. Emma mouthed a thank you to her mother for the save. Mary smiled with the slightest nod of her head, returning her gaze to Henry.
"Well, how about you help me with the dishes, and then you can help me serve dessert." Mary suggested. Henry's smile faded, though he stood from his chair anyway and followed Mary to the kitchen.
"Doesn't being Emma's son make me a prince? Do princes' even do dishes?" Emma couldn't help but laugh, though as a parent she probably should have chided him for rudeness. James didn't fare much better, laughing deeply as the boy walked by.
"Hey, hey…a prince is always a gentleman and he never lets a lady do the dishes on her own."
"Says the prince who is still sitting at the table…" Mary said sarcastically with a wink. A boyish grin formed on his lips, looking between Emma and Mary. "I'm keeping Emma company…"
"Hey, don't drag me into this…" Emma laughed, putting her hands up innocently. James laughed lightly, though he sensed the sudden tension the moment Henry mentioned his 'father'. Mary was quick so quick to distract him it was obvious she knew something more. While James was tempted to simply ask Emma, he decided against it; she'd made it clear her past was off limits. As much as he hated to admit it, Gold may have been right; he needed to back off and let Emma come to him as she was ready.
"Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate, Emma?" Mary offered as she and Henry finished the dishes.
"Do you even have to ask?"
"No, I was just being polite…" Mary replied with a knowing smile. Emma used the opportunity and excused herself to the bathroom, splashing cold water on her flushed face. Most of the homes Emma grew up in were full of fighting and anger, meals were hardly, if ever shared together. She felt her tears dangerously close to the surface, and not that she was sad, but that this is all she's ever wanted. In all the times she imagined finding her parents Henry was never part of that picture. And to finally have access to her son, to be able to spend time with Henry especially after she almost lost him was overwhelming.
This time last year she was completely alone, and quite honestly miserable living in Boston. She never allowed herself to have much hope for happiness or love in her future; keeping herself guarded and alone was her first priority. Now, as a mother and a daughter, she could hardly believe that she ever allowed herself to be so alone for so long; wondering how she made through all these years without this. With a deep breath, Emma dried her face, rejoining her family in the living room.
"Pie…" Henry said, handing Emma her plate as she sat beside him. She laughed lightly, taking a big spoonful of vanilla ice cream and pumpkin pie. A steaming mug of hot chocolate sat on the coffee table before her. A comfortable silence settled over them as they ate their dessert, each lost in their own thoughts.
Mary's eyes already glistened with fresh tears, smiling brightly as she looked around to each face – her husband beside her, her daughter across from her and her grandson beside her. It had been their first meal as a complete family; a moment twenty-eight years in the making, and it was perfect. There were a few times since the breaking of the curse that Mary feared this moment might never come, due mainly to Emma's initial distant behavior towards them. In the enchanted forest, Mary was afraid to admit that she didn't think they'd ever make it home, that she'd never see Charming or Henry again. But they were all around her now, all safe from harm; they were all finally together.
"Everything was really good tonight, Mare…thanks for cooking." Emma said softly breaking the silence.
"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"Yea, I was getting tired of Granny's…" Henry chimed in. James felt his face flush as Mary and Emma stared at him.
"Traitor…" he mumbled with a sly grin. Henry giggled with a sheepish grin and Emma couldn't tear her eyes away from the pair of them. She envied Henry for the time he got to spend with her father; time she desperately wished she could have had; but she would never begrudge him that either. It gave her such peace of mind to know that Henry would spend the rest of his life surrounded by a family who loved him.
"Please tell me you didn't take him to Granny's for every meal…" Mary pleaded; a stern look in her eyes.
"Of course not…" James said emphatically in his defense. "…he had lunch at school." he added guiltily. Mary scoffed shaking her head in disbelief and Emma couldn't help but laugh.
"I meant to ask earlier if you had a chance to see Mr. Gold today?" Mary asked, changing the subject as her gaze returned to Emma. She was shocked at the question; assuming Gold's name would've been carefully avoided in the interest of keeping peace.
"I did actually; I uh…I'll be heading back there after I leave here tonight." Emma said, waiting for the lectures and disapproving stares. James diverted his gaze to his dessert, but thankfully said nothing.
"Permanently, or just to see him…?" Mary prodded. It was strange for Snow having her memories of fear of both Rumplestiltskin and Mr. Gold. Yet also, the memories of Mary Margaret, who witnessed the changes in him and saw how much he loved Emma. To reconcile the two was no easy task, but she was trying to be supportive.
"Permanently, and I wanted to invite you three to dinner the night after tomorrow. I already spoke to Henry and he agreed on the condition you guys are with us. Now that I have the chance, I want Henry to start spending time with us; getting used to Gold. You guys as well…" Emma added softly, looking to her father anxiously.
"Sounds like you guys are really getting serious…" James said flatly, his face emotionless as he spoke.
"Well, we were kind of already serious before all this happened. I just had no rights to Henry until now." James and Mary locked eyes, communicating again in a way that Emma could only marvel at. He leaned his elbows on his knees, glaring intently at his daughter.
"What time should we be there?" he asked, a slow smile spreading on his lips. Emma breathed a soft sigh of relief, smiling gratefully at her father. It was obvious in his eyes he had no desire to agree, but at least he was making an effort.
"Say 6:30…"
"We'll be there…" James promised softly. The words nearly choked him as James said them. The last thing he wanted to do was spend time with Rumplestiltskin or encourage his daughter to do the same. But not only did he promise Emma that he would try to be accepting and civil around Gold, he also made a deal with the man himself and his only request that he be given a chance. If he wanted to have any kind of a relationship with his daughter, he knew he would have to concede in this.
"Is Mr. Gold gonna teach you how to use your magic?" Henry asked curiously. James and Mary both looked to their daughter, curious themselves of the answer. Emma set the empty plate on the coffee table, lifting the mug of hot chocolate into her hands.
"Uh, we haven't really talked about it yet and I'm in no rush to learn. The idea of using magic when I've seen what it can do…"
"Yea, I know what you mean. Regina wanted to teach me when she made me stay with her. I didn't want to learn either…" he said sadly. Emma studied her son, noting the sadness on his face. She wasn't sure if it was just talking about Regina, or if there was cause for her to worry.
"You know, I saw Regina at Archie's today. She said that she hadn't used magic for two days." Emma informed him, hoping to brighten his mood. Henry met Emma's gaze, looking somewhat surprised.
"When gramps came to take me away from Regina, she told me she wanted to redeem herself…"
"And I don't think she was kidding." Emma said with an encouraging smile. Henry lifted his eyes and smiled, though he didn't look happy and Emma was instantly worried. Henry was the most talkative child she'd ever met with an opinion on everything. When they arrived at the apartment he was excited and bursting with energy, now he seemed worn down and tired.
"Speaking of Regina, who do you think will take her place as mayor?" Mary asked, still somehow unable to believe that Regina had truly lost her power here. Emma shifted her gaze from her son to Mary, a small smile on her lips.
"I kind of assumed you would…" Mary glared at Emma incredulously, laughing at her suggestion.
"That would so cool!" Henry chimed in excitedly. "Yea, Snow, why not?" James added with a challenging grin. Mary looked around the table, flattered and shocked that they all seemed to be in agreement.
"Me?! Why would you think that?"
"Well, because you and James already ruled over a whole Kingdom; I assume being Mayor of a small town would be easy by comparison. Besides, you were a total badass in the Enchanted Forest. You guys should've seen the way she dropped that ogre…"
"Well, when you put like that…" Mary said dramatically, tossing her hair back. Laughter erupted around the table, and despite herself, Mary found herself actually considering Emma's words.
"We should do this every night…" Henry said with a mouth full of ice cream.
"Well every night might be a bit difficult Henry…" Mary said gently.
"But I think at least two; maybe three times a week could work…" Emma suggested. Henry nodded in agreement, though obviously not thrilled with the suggestion. Emma rubbed his back, kissing his forehead affectionately in an attempt to comfort him.
James watched the pair of them intently; it was obvious Emma was worried about her son. Part of him considered telling Emma about Henry's nightmares, but Henry asked him not to since it would only make his mom worry. He had assumed that the nightmares had something to do with Emma and Mary disappearing; he'd hoped that the dreams would stop once they returned. He decided not to say anything, and hoped that tonight after spending so much time with Emma, Henry would sleep peacefully.
"Hey, how would you guys like to have picnic on Saturday? We'll make a day of it; bring our swords…maybe even teach Emma a thing or two…" James said with wink at Henry. Emma watched as her son's face lit up, unable to suppress her smile at his enthusiasm.
"Can we, please? That'd be so awesome!" Henry asked, his eyes pleading with both Emma and Mary.
"I'm in if you are…" Emma replied, looking toward her mother.
"Then it's a date…" Henry cheered at Mary's words, obviously overjoyed at the concept. Though it killed Emma to do it, she decided to leave earlier rather than later; the longer she stayed the harder it would be to leave.
"As much as I hate to do this, I should get going…I still have to check out of Granny's and everything." Emma said regretfully, rising from the couch. Henry's face fell, begrudgingly sliding from the couch beside her. Emma hugged him tightly against her, kissing his temple affectionately as she rubbed his back.
"I love you, Henry…"
"I love you, too…" he said, an ear to ear grin smiling up at her. Henry finally released her and Mary stepped forward to say goodnight.
"Be careful getting to Gold's…" she said softly, gathering Emma into her arms.
"I will…" she promised, clinging to her mother. Her respect for this woman had grown leaps and bounds in the last few days; Emma reminded herself to set aside some time for just her and her Mary. Finally pulling away, her gaze fell to her father who was standing patiently beside his wife with a hesitant smile. Emma stepped into his arms, determined not to pull away too soon.
James swallowed hard as Emma wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, whispering a thank you in his ear. The few times he had hugged Emma she was quick to pull away, but right now, he held on as tight and as long as she would allow. They were all in unfamiliar waters right now and he had to hope that it would eventually get easier. But there was nothing easy in letting his daughter go; knowing she was heading straight to Rumplestiltskin. He wondered if he would ever be able to truly accept it.
"Can you meet me at Granny's in the morning?" Emma asked as she pulled away. James met her eyes with surprise, only too happy to agree.
"Of course, what time?"
"7:45…?" she suggested.
"I'll see you then…" James promised, curious as to what she would need him for. With that Emma made her way to the door, fighting the tears as they stung her eyes.
"Goodnight, love you all…" she said hoarsely, opening the door. A chorus of 'I love you' followed her as she waved goodbye, closing the door behind her. Emma leaned heavily against the door to catch her breath. She never realized leaving could be this difficult, especially when it had once been so easy. With a deep breath, stepped from the door, beginning her slow descent of the stairs.
The day had been a whirlwind of activity, being blown from one moment to the next. Emma was only too happy to put the last two weeks behind her, looking forward to the near future with her family and Gold. As the day drew to a close, all she wanted was to go home and curl up in his arms. Checking out of Granny's could wait until tomorrow…
Gold sipped his red wine beside the fire feeling like his skin was the only thing keeping him from going everywhere at once. Anticipation coursed through him like electric currents; their kiss at the shop replayed in his mind, his lips still tingling from the contact. It was too good to be true; but he would be a fool to continue denying himself his own happiness. Emma had not only returned, she had forgiven him; and when he kissed her, she didn't pull away.
Perhaps she really had forgiven him and they could by some miracle, pick up where they left off. Yet he still found himself nervous, unsure of how he should act tonight. Given her nature, he expected Emma would be on her guard now more than ever. The guilt of his past had consumed him to the point that he almost sacrificed Emma and her son. That fact alone was unforgiveable and it terrified him; it was never his intention to hurt them.
But now – save for his son – he has everything he wanted, and despite that, he was determined to be grateful for what he had. He could never let go of his Bae, but he would never risk Emma's life so carelessly again in an attempt to find him. His heart rate quickened when he heard her knock softly on the door, placing the wine on the table as he limped to the door.
"Hello, love…" Gold whispered breathlessly. Emma smiled brightly, stepping over the threshold as he locked the door behind them. Before he knew it she had her arms wrapped around his neck, pressing her body firm against him. His eyes widened in surprise, a suggestive smirk on his lips as he slipped his arms around her waist.
"Hey Gold…" she whispered, tangling her fingers in his hair. She had been thinking about his kiss all afternoon, regretting that she ended it too quickly. Now, they had the whole night to themselves and she intended to make up for lost time. Without a word she leaned in, catching his lips gently between her own. Compared the passionate kiss they shared earlier, this kiss was languid, unhurried as they became reacquainted.
Gold felt her tongue softly entering his mouth, then shyly pulling back, only to probe deeply again. He savored the feel of her lips, her tongue, the caress of her fingertips; the lingering flavors of pumpkin, cinnamon and vanilla tantalizing his taste buds. His fingers ghosted over her neck into her hair, moaning into her mouth as he backed her against the door.
Emma opened her eyes as she pulled back, breaking the kiss. "I missed you so much…" she whispered, hugging him against her. His arms wrapped tight around her waist, kissing her temple as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"I missed you too, love."
"I know this is going to sound strange, but can we go to bed?" Emma asked hesitantly, lifting her eyes to meet his. Gold held her gaze intently, while he in no way opposed the idea, he was unsure exactly what she had in mind.
"Are we going to bed to sleep, or…?" Gold asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow. Emma giggled nervously at his unspoken suggestion and on a normal night she would've agreed. But tonight she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, listening to sound of his voice.
"It's too early for sleep, and I just ate and I'm too full for another dessert. I just want to be in your arms…"
"But you are in my arms…" he replied with a teasing smile.
"Yes, but I don't want to stand in your hallway all night…" she said with a pout, knowing how much he liked it.
"I take it you're staying the night then?" he asked hopefully. Emma nodded without a word, catching his lips briefly once more.
"Well then, let's get to bed…" Emma smiled, removing her coat and boots as Gold turned off the lights. She waited at the bottom of the stairs, smiling brightly as he limped towards her. He hooked her elbow with his as they made their slow ascent up the stairs.
"So what did you do while I was away?"
"Oh, you know, worked a little magic, gave Belle a library; generally went insane from worrying about you…" he answered matter-of-factly in a way only Gold could. Emma cocked an eyebrow, staring at him incredulously as they walked.
"You gave Belle a library?" Gold nodded once in response saying nothing. "Like the library that had a fire breathing dragon beneath it?"
"One and the same. Belle always loved to read, I know she'll enjoy it much more than working at Granny's. I hope you don't mind…"
"No, not at all…you just said it so nonchalantly…I gave Belle a library." She repeated, laughing harder. While Gold didn't know what she found so funny, he basked in the sound of her resounding laughter. He choked back his tears, focusing on the feel of her arm in his as they reached his door.
This last week, he didn't know if he would ever see Emma again. When he feared the distance that had divided them – both physically and emotionally – would leave her as the ghost that would haunt him for the rest of his life. She would've been the loss that he would never recover from; the last loss of love in a long line of tragedy. But somehow she found her way back home, and against all odds in favor of everything he had hoped for…she forgave him.
He stopped walking as they stepped inside his bedroom; pulling Emma into his arms he clutched her against him. Emma released a small cry of surprise before wrapping her arms around him. He swallowed the lump rising in his throat, finally overcome by her forgiveness, her presence here, the love he had for her all boiling to the surface with frightening intensity. Gold dropped his cane, bringing his hand to cradle the back of her head, burying his face in her neck.
Emma was surprised when he pulled her against him, assuming he wanted another kiss. Rather, he only hugged her, his grip growing still tighter around her waist. If she didn't know better she'd think he was crying the way he hid his face; Emma knew he didn't like showing that kind of emotion. She considered asking, but for now he seemed to need just to hold her…and she needed him just as much. Long minutes passed in resounding silence as they stood in the center of his clutching each other desperately. With a deep sigh, he lifted his head resting his forehead to hers.
"Are you really here…? Or are you just a dream telling me what I need to hear?" His voice was raw with emotion, trailing his fingers along the edge of her face. Emma pulled back, her thumb tracing his jaw line as their eyes locked intently.
"Yes, I'm really here, and you are forgiven…" she stated firmly, hoping he could just accept it. Emma knew better than anyone his capacity for guilt and self-loathing. Gold nodded against her, catching her lips once more before releasing her. He kept his arm around her waist as he escorted her to the bed.
"I'm sorry, love, I don't know what came over me…" he said as they sat on the edge of his bed.
"Don't apologize, Gold. It's been a tumultuous few days, emotions are riding high everywhere." At that, Emma fell onto her back with an exasperated sigh.
"You have no idea how much I missed this bed…" Gold laughed lightly at her enthusiasm, drinking in the vision of her lying on his bed. He dangled his legs off the edge of the bed falling on his back the same way Emma had so they laid face to face.
"What was the magic you worked?" Emma asked curiously. Gold furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before he remembered his own words.
"Oh, well, it didn't actually work; I've been trying to break the curse of being trapped in Storybrooke…" Gold admitted honestly.
"Oh, well, good luck with that one."
"You're ok with me practicing magic?" he asked, studying her face in disbelief.
"OK, maybe not the right word, but if it lets us leave this town with our memories intact, I wouldn't be opposed. I would prefer if you didn't use it, but let's say this: please don't use magic to hurt people and no crazy deals. If it helps people, I won't complain."
"Why thank you…" Gold said sarcastically with a smirk, sitting up. "I'll be right back love…" Emma watched as he limped to the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed as she kicked off her shoes. Emma retrieved a pair of his sweats from the nightstand, using the opportunity of his absence to change. She had forgotten her bag in the car and was too tired to go out and get it. Emma dressed down to her black tank top, pulling on his sweatpants as she slipped beneath the red silk sheets.
Emma smiled tightly when the door opened again, and Gold stepped out in his pajamas. She wondered if he would ever let her see his full body, or if he would only allow her see his torso. Even when they made love it was in the dark or he was covered by sheets. But it was unimportant right now as he climbed into bed beside her. Emma instantly rolled closer, unable to get in his arms fast enough.
"So, uh, how was dinner with your family?" he asked, securing his arms around her.
"It was…it was everything I hoped for and more. It was awkward at first, a little heavy emotionally speaking; but it was a dream come true." Emma swallowed nervously hoping what she said next wouldn't upset him.
"And I kind of invited them all for dinner the night after tomorrow. I just want Henry to get used to being around you, maybe spend a night or two here each week whenever he's ready. If that's okay with you…" Emma asked hopefully.
"It's fine by me, love, but I can think of at least one person who might have a problem with that…" Gold answered honestly. He wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having Charming here either, but he knew if he wanted to be with Emma long term, than this needed to happen.
"I know it's going to be awkward, but James is not going to magically like you anytime soon. He'll just have to get used to us being together and the only way I can think to accomplish that is by making us all spend time together…sparingly." At Gold's curious glare, Emma explained further.
"Between the two of them they kept asking about my past, and I kept telling them no. Now, it just seems like they're on eggshells around me; we talk…but there's just this underlying tension, you know?" she said quietly. Gold rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow as he looked perplexed at Emma.
"Why don't you just tell them, love and be done with it?" he asked. Emma leveled him with an incredulous stare as if it would be so simple. She wanted to yell and make her case, but just thought of telling them caused a deep sense of sadness.
"I can't cause them that pain, Gold. I can't…they don't deserve it." She answered softly, her gaze far off.
Gold covered her hand on her abdomen and squeezed gently; moved by her desire to protect her parents from the pain of her past. He wished he could be so lucky with Bae. But he could empathize with both parties in this situation. He understood what her parents were feeling, needing to know what had happened to their daughter, and he understood Emma's desire for privacy and not wanting to hurt her parents further.
"Emma, as a father who has lost a child I can tell you that the imagination can carry you to some very dark places. Knowing what happened – no matter how bad – is better than not knowing at all."
"Yea, but in this case imagination and reality are one and the same." Emma replied sharper than she intended. She pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing heavily as she fought to control her emotions.
"We've already been kept apart for 28 years; I'm afraid if I tell them they'll never forgive themselves and it'll ruin our chances for a relationship before it even begins." She whispered hoarsely.
"Emma…as parents we all make decisions that we're going to have to live with, as will our children. You gave Henry up for adoption, your parents sent you here to protect you from the curse, and I made my decisions to save Bae. While we all acted with the best of intentions in the interests of our children, it can still go horribly wrong. And it is not the job of the child to shield their parents from the consequences of their actions…" Gold said ardently, hoping that Emma was still listening.
"I won't tell you what to do one way or the other, but this is already weighing heavily on you and it's creating distance between you and your parents. It's not beneficial for any of you. But if you tell them, you can all begin healing and rebuilding together. Yes, that knowledge will hurt but the fact that you don't blame them will go a long way in them forgiving themselves. The sooner you get it over with Emma, the better."
"When did you become the voice of reason?" she asked, trying to tease him. But she couldn't joke now, not about this.
"It's common sense, Emma. Your parents, your father in particular, may be the ones best suited to close this wound." Emma nodded, closing her eyes as she released a heavy sigh. She hated it when he was right, especially that he was right about this. Actually telling her parents would be much easier said than done, especially where her father was concerned. But there was no point keeping the secret if it was already creating a rift between her and her parents.
"This is really going to suck…"
"Do you want me there with you when you tell them?" Gold offered supportively. Emma smiled, grateful for the offer, but shook her head.
"No, I'll tell them…thank you though." Emma whispered hoarsely. Gold rolled onto his back, pulling Emma along with him. A small smile formed on her lips, wasting no time snuggling against him. She let her head fall against his chest with a soft moan, willing her thoughts to cease and her body to relax as his arms closed around her.
"I didn't mean to upset you…" he whispered against her temple.
"You didn't upset me…it was already there." she replied barely above a whisper, tracing her fingertips over his chest.
His eyes drifted closed in the peace of the moment, combing his fingers through her full, thick hair. He kissed her temple once more, drinking in the full aroma of her hair. Gold found himself wishing for a way to freeze this moment in time, perfect in its simplicity, yet deep in its meaning. He knew that her presence here was nothing short of a miracle, and he was resolved to never again let history repeat itself.
A long silence ensued as Emma closed her eyes in the stillness; simply resting in the comfort of his arms. The only sound was the crackling of the fire place – that and his deep breathing. The warmth of the fire combined with the steady beat of his heart and soft touches helped her to relax against him; as the tension slowly start to dissipate. These quiet, intimate moments were what she had missed, what she had longed for these past long and lonely nights.
"I missed this," he choked out, almost inaudibly; his own voice sounding incredibly loud "Just holding you, loving you even in the silence." Emma smiled against his chest, her eyes remained closed as she called to mind those countless little moments.
"I missed it too…"
"So, what happens now? Between us…I mean." Gold asked hesitantly. Emma's eyes opened, resting her chin on his chest to see his face.
"I forgave you, Gold; which means we put this whole crazy mess behind us and move forward. It doesn't make much sense for me to say that I forgive you and then continue punishing you. I don't want you to be nervous around me or to apologize all day every day. I know you regret it…"
"But still, I never thought you'd forgive me; that you'd be here..." Gold admitted bluntly. A mischievous smirk played on her lips.
"Just keep in mind it's your last chance. If you betray me after this moment, I have a feeling my father will be only too happy to help me hide your body…"
"Indeed…" he agreed chuckling nervously as he continued moving his fingers through the length of her hair. Emma studied his face, her fingers tracing circles over his chest. Perhaps it was just talking briefly of his betrayal, but it turned her thoughts to his son.
"What do you think you'll do if Bae comes back?" Emma asked in the lingering silence. His fingers stopped their movements and she felt his breathing intensify, a profound sadness filling his dark eyes.
"I honestly don't know…I've been chasing after him for decades, I just can't accept that I may never see him again." he replied in a hoarse whisper. Gold closed his hand around hers, bringing the back of her hand to his lips. His eyes drifted closed, the image of his son burning in his mind.
"I try to hope, but mostly I'm just scared…"
"Of what?" Gold sighed heavily, tightening his arms around her.
"What if I get him back only to have him reject me?" he whispered fearfully. But that was assuming his son is even still alive; unsure of which outcome would be worse. If he was alive, he had the chance for forgiveness, to tell his son how sorry he was and how much he loved him. But that left the possibility open that Bae would ultimately reject him for the coward he was. If he was dead, he would never have the chance to apologize. Emma released a heavy sigh, nodding in understanding as he continued.
"I keep trying to imagine his face, you know? I still see him as that young boy who was a better man than his father. After what happened with Booth…it makes me wonder if I would even recognize him as a man. I like to think that he will be happy to see me here in human form. Bae hated the magic, hated…what I became; would he forgive me when he finds out I brought it here so I could find him? I know he'll hate me for letting him go and I can't imagine he'll be too forgiving when he finds out that I cursed an entire realm of people just to find him." Gold rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose willing himself not to cry.
"It almost sounds like you're more scared of finding him…" Emma whispered sympathetically.
"Well, I am; I've prepared myself for every possible reaction and outcome. But I have to know what happened. Even if he does reject me, at least I could rest knowing he was alive. I don't think I'll ever fully recover from the loss of my son, but…" His voice trailed off, unable to actually imagine having to let go of his boy. Emma pulled herself up, her face only inches from his.
"Well, if he does reject you, I'll be with you and we can pick up the pieces together. I want you to find your son, Gold and I would never ask you to choose. I don't think as parents we're ever meant to let go of our children. But promise me that if you ever need my help finding Bae, please just ask?" She pleaded softly.
Gold nodded with a smile, barely registering her words as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He was mesmerized; his fingertips trailing the soft edge of her face. After all they had been through; with as far as they came together, he still couldn't believe that he risked her life so recklessly. No matter how he tried to justify it; she trusted him and he abused that, something he swore on several occasions he would never do.
"I've lost so much that I love, Emma, and when you fell through that portal it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I was terrified…and I was powerless – again. Just like Bae you slipped into a vortex that took you away from me, and with all the power I possess, I couldn't save you like I couldn't save him…" his breath caught in his throat and Gold exhaled heavily, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.
"It was like you took the sunlight with you, I was never so aware of darkness or emptiness. I couldn't sleep, I could barely eat; I couldn't focus on anything. And I realized that even though I own everything in this town, you're all I want. I swear that I will never hurt you or break your trust again." His voice was firm as he spoke, almost as if he were speaking more to himself than Emma.
The tears streamed from her eyes, her heart constricting at his words. She's known that the guilt of losing his son has been the driving force behind all of his actions since the day he lost him. It was one of the major reasons she had forgiven him; his intention was never to hurt her – he was just desperate and saw no other way to find his son. But if his eyes told her anything in this moment, it was that he truly loved her.
"I know…" she said, barely above a whisper.
"It's getting late love, shall I turn out the light?" he asked, knowing both of them were too emotionally drained to do much else.
"Yea might as well…I'm sure tomorrow will be another long day. But don't make any plans, you and I will be busy…" she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
"All of my friends will be so disappointed…" Gold said mockingly, raising a curious eyebrow. "What are we doing?"
"You'll see…" she said, yawning sleepily. With a groan of disappointment, Gold switched off his bedside lamp. Emma rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder; a spot she believed was made just for her, molding perfectly along his side. Her eyes closed, feeling him whisper 'I love you' against her skin as he kissed her temple. Emma smiled in the darkness, her fingertips traced circles over his chest.
"I love you, too…" she whispered in return. Gold tightened his arms around her, listening as she fell into a deep sleep. After two weeks of torturous anxiety and crushing hopelessness, an immeasurable peace filled him. He silently thanked whatever gods were responsible for this moment; for this treasure resting in his arms. It was his last conscious thought as he drifted off into a deep and restful sleep.
I hope you liked it. I may end up re-editing this chapter, but I figured I would at least post it and move the story along. Charming Family fluff on the way amidst some angsty drama. My psychology class ends on Dec. 17 so after a night of drunken celebration, I should have at least a month before my spring classes begin. I'm so excited... So, again, please review :) thanks to everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed this story already, it really does feed my creativity and inspires me to write, so if you like please share
And Anna...to answer your question on another story; no Rumplestiltskin will not be as I wrote him in Cold Comfort. Kind of compare it to when Red says that she's afraid simply because she hadn't turned into the wolf for so long. In that scene, it was an alcohol induced nightmare of his biggest fear. The dark one returning and him not having the same control over him and hurting Emma. (I hope I just didn't confuse you more)