A/N:

Just a short an here because I almost forgot to upload this :-P I was literally in bed when I remembered xD

This is another emotion-filled chapter!

Title: The Perfect Partner Program

Author: MarieCarro

Beta: EdwardsFirstKiss

Pre-reader: brwneyedgrl01

Genre: Angst/Hurt&Comfort/Romance

Rating: NC-17

Summary: The summer of 2005 was the summer that changed Bella Swan's life forever. Sent to Ohio by her mother to attend a school for debutante girls not quite up to par, she meets Edward Masen, an apprentice. But is that really all he is? AH

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Word Count: 2, 785

CHAPTER 25 COMFORT

We sat in the car a moment longer in the tension-filled silenced that followed Edward's painful confession, but as it grew closer to the end of my break, I made a decision.

Edward was beyond torn up, and it was my fault. I'd asked him to tell me about the tattoo, but reliving the trauma had been too much for him.

I couldn't leave him like that. "Stay here," I told him. "I will be right back." Before he could say anything, I climbed out of the car and walked into the station.

At my desk, I collected a few things I'd need, and then I knocked on Demetri's door.

"Hey, Little Swan," he greeted and then looked back at his computer screen.

"You don't need me here for the rest of the day, right?" I asked. "I thought I'd take these folders with me and work from home."

He instantly glanced at me with a hint of worry. "Are you okay? Is everything alright with my next little detective in there?" he asked and looked pointedly at my protruding stomach.

"Everything's fine," I assured him. "Something just came up that I need to take care of."

"Yeah, okay," he consented with a nod. "Nothing I'd have you do around here that you can't do from home."

"Thanks, Dem," I said appreciatively with a smile. "But if anything comes up, just give me a call, okay?"

"Of course."

I made my way back to the parking lot, and there I opened the door on the driver's side. "Hop out. I'll drive."

Edward looked at me with confusion. "Bella? What are you d—?"

"You're in no condition to drive, Edward. You'd be a danger to yourself and others, and I can't have that on my conscience since I caused your distress. I'll drive." Still confused, he got out of the seat, but before I could climb in, he stopped me. I didn't allow him to protest, though. "Just get in the passenger seat. I'm taking you back to your hotel."

"And what about you?"

"I'll be fine. I'll take a taxi back here to get my car, and then I'll go home."

"Don't you have to work?"

I held up the folders in my arm. "I have everything I need for work right here. Seriously, Edward, let me do this."

He finally relented and walked around the car. I had to adjust the seat on the driver's side since there was quite a height difference between Edward and me, but I fixed that quickly.

"Where are you staying?"

"Kimpton Hotel on Fifth Avenue," he replied monotonously.

"Really?" I asked incredulously. "You like to splurge on luxury, don't you?"

"I'm not paying for it," he explained. "The company is."

I frowned and instantly knew that he had revealed something I was sure he hadn't intended. "The company, huh?" I asked, and his sudden silence told me that he'd realized the same as I had. "I knew you didn't work for the CIA," I stated as there was no longer a question about it.

"I—" he started, but I shook my head.

"You don't have to explain yourself. I already understand that whatever it is you do, it cannot be too illegal, and if it is, you have technology and connections very high up, so it wouldn't matter what I did about it, anyway."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I never meant to lie to you, but as I said I had no idea you'd become a cop, and the odds that I'd walk into your precinct are pretty amazing."

"They are, aren't they," I mused without taking my eyes off the road.

We were silent for the rest of the way to his hotel, and once I'd driven the car into the hotel garage, we made our way to the elevator. I reached for the entrance floor button, but Edward grabbed my hand before I could. I turned to look at him, and what I saw there wasn't what I expected. For some reason, he was terrified.

"Please," he pleaded. "I hate asking this of you, but I could really use some company right now. At the very least, I don't think I should be alone."

Even though I had never been around anyone with a past addiction to drugs before, I still understood what he meant. Talking about what had happened with Kate had triggered him, and he was scared he would do something he would regret later, like trying to find a dealer, if he was left to be alone with his thoughts.

I couldn't even fathom how high his anxiety was at that moment.

That was why I nodded and lowered my arm. His relief was so great it was almost palpable in the confined space of the elevator. He pressed the button for the floor of his room, and then he placed himself on the opposite side of the elevator and looked down at the floor the entire way up.

Inside the room, he removed his jacket and loosened his tie while he paced all over. I took the opportunity to look around. Apart from a couple of bags in one corner, the room didn't look very lived in for a place he'd stayed in for months, but that could very well have been the maid's work. I hadn't expected a hotel room to tell me much about Edward and who he was as a person today, but it was the first time I was inside anything that was close to a temporary home to him, so I guess a part of me had hoped to see anything that could tell me more about him.

I sat down in a chair and looked over at Edward who had resorted to standing completely still and looking out the window with distant eyes.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "It wasn't my intent to bring something so painful up."

He shook his head slowly. "You don't have to apologize to me. You have nothing to apologize for. Besides, you gave me a choice whether to tell you or not, so you're free of guilt."

"Doesn't mean I don't feel it, though."

With a grimace, he turned away from the window and looked at me. "I didn't tell you my story to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to understand that the things that have happened in my life have irrevocably changed me." He swallowed hard. "I named her Ava because Kate never bothered, and her death was my true wake-up call. It was as if that little girl represented every life I had corrupted, and I knew I needed to make it up to them all."

He sat down heavily on the bed and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "You will probably think this sounds insane, and you're entitled to. I won't judge you for it because it took a while for me to accept it myself." He locked his eyes with mine, and I was unable to look away because of the pure intensity of his gaze. "I don't think it was pure coincidence that we met again in that supermarket, or that I just happened to be here in Seattle to investigate something connected to your murder case or that of all the cafe's I could have chosen to sit and work in, it had to be the one you walked into."

"What are you s—?"

"Ever since Ava passed, I've lived my life without holding myself back," he continued without allowing for my interruption. "If a chance was presented, I took it, and hoped that it would lead me the right way, and so far it hasn't failed. It led me to my job that has provided a stable income and a chance to build my life back up, and when I was ready, it sent me to Seattle on a case that led me to you. I can't ignore that."

"I still don't understand," I told him honestly.

He sighed. "I believe there's a reason why everything has led me here. That earning your forgiveness is the last step I have to take before Ava can rest."

He was right; I did think it sounded insane. I had never been religious or believed in guardian angels or spirits and a higher purpose. I was a very practical person, so it was difficult for me to swallow what he was telling me, but I wasn't going to discard his belief either.

"Okay, but I don't know how long that could possibly take," I warned him. "My anger and hate have shaped my life into what it is today. It's been a part of me for a very long time, and I honestly don't know how I can just forgive and forget."

Edward got up from the bed and crouched down in front of me instead. Like previous times, I hadn't expected his close proximity, but I wasn't uncomfortable either.

"I don't want you to forget. Forgetting would mean denouncing everything you've learned on the way to become the person you are today. That's that last thing I want, but I'm not going to deny that receiving your forgiveness one day would mean everything to me. Whether that means it takes months or years, I'm fine with that."

"But I might not be," I reminded him. "It's still difficult for me to look at you and not feel an all-consuming fury. Had it just been for me, it would have been different. I'm sure I could have forgiven you so much easier, but because of what you did to me, I hurt Garrett, and he didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire."

"You're right. He didn't," he simply agreed, and it was comforting that he didn't come with a bunch of excuses.

He knew that what he'd done was wrong, and he'd told me that he regretted it. What more could I ask for? What was it that was stopping me from seeing him as the man he was today? Was it my pride? Was I just too stubborn?

Suddenly, I felt a sharp kick to my side that caused me to flinch and let out an involuntary groan. Edward's eyes immediately widened with fear as he stood up and backed away.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

I laughed softly at him. "Nothing's wrong. He or she has just decided they're going for a career as football pros," I said, but Edward remained looking at me worriedly. "Relax, Edward, I'm fine. Kicks just mean the baby is healthy. Is it comfortable? Not very, but it's not dangerous."

A relieved exhale left him, and he nodded. "I never saw Kate while she was pregnant," he said without taking his eyes off my stomach. "I don't know anything about pregnancies. It's still a strange thought to me that you actually have a human growing inside you. That Ava grew inside Kate like that."

He still appeared shaken, and even though I had always hated how people felt they had a right to touch my stomach just because I was pregnant, I felt that I needed to assure him further that my child was okay. I had no idea what kind of horrific thoughts were going through his head.

So I encouraged him to walk back to me and crouch down again. When he had resumed his previous position, I took his hand in mine, and without taking my eyes off his, I placed it on my stomach where I could feel my baby was the most active.

His eyes were so uncertain until he felt the determined kick against his palm. Then they shifted to his hand and were filled with awe.

"See?" I told him with a smile. "Completely healthy."

He nodded, and his eyes went blank. Thirteen years ago, in Ohio, I would never have pegged Edward as the kind of guy who was so connected with his emotions, but I found myself liking it.

"Thank you for this," he whispered out and looked back at me. The green color of his eyes was the clearest I'd seen, and I was inexplicably drawn to it.

Maybe it was the vulnerable moment we'd just shared, or his painful story that he had entrusted me with, or possibly even that we had basically cleared the air of everything we could, but as we locked eyes, I was the one who initiated the kiss that I could read in his expression that we both wanted.

Or rather, needed.

I now knew that he had, like me, resorted to it for the past thirteen years. Whenever we hurt so much we couldn't deal with it on our own, we sought physical comfort. It was what we knew, and it was why we were helpless against the undeniable pull that was between us.

The feelings of his lips against my own, his hands tracing up my arms only to cup my cheeks gently, made me feel alive. There was so much passion, but compared to the last time, it wasn't rushed or impatient. It was a slow burn that consumed us both from head to toe.

He pulled away from the kiss for a moment, and his breathing was harsh. "I don't want you to think that this is why I asked you to come up here," he panted out.

I nodded. "No, I know," I said and pulled him back in for another kiss. "I know."

Without breaking the contact between our mouths, we stood up and started to shed our clothes. There was no question as to what would happen now, and I welcomed it. After listening to Edward's story, I felt so raw and exposed and being in his arms, feeling his fingers splayed against my naked back, made everything feel better.

I couldn't handle his sensual touches and tender kisses the first time, but now as he let them rain over my body while he laid me back on the bed, I craved them. I wanted more of them and pressed tighter against him.

When he placed a kiss on my stomach, I started crying because it was what I had hoped and dreamed of when I was younger; that a man would show tenderness toward the child growing in me. But in my dreams, it was supposed to have been the father of the child, and the man I loved.

Edward didn't stop even when he noticed my tears. It was as if he understood the pain I felt, but also that he knew I didn't want to stop, either. I needed this connection between us. I ached for it. He wiped away my tears and when new ones replaced the old, he dried them away as well.

We were both naked and wanting, and he gave me a look that said everything I needed to know at that moment. He couldn't change the past, but he wanted to make sure that everything worked for the better going forward. He then shifted us over so that he was on his back.

"Take the control you need, Bella," he told me. "Do whatever you want and need. I am completely at your mercy."

I hadn't understood until that second that he had given me the last piece I needed for my decision as to whether to forgive him or not. At the Academy, he'd been the one in control of everything we did, at home; Renée was the one who had called the shots.

By relinquishing that last piece while we were both so exposed and vulnerable, he made me realize why I'd felt so empty and alone.

For the better part of my life, someone else had told me what to do and when to do it; Renée, Edward, my superiors in the military. When that was removed, when I became a respected homicide detective and people looked to me for advice and second opinions, I became uncertain how to act, how to be, and it fed the feelings of loneliness.

As I now let Edward inside my body on my terms only, and he allowed it, I felt more complete than I'd ever felt in my life, and it both terrified me and made me feel stronger at the same time.

I didn't know what it meant, or what was supposed to happen after, but I instinctively knew it to be one of those irrevocable changes that would shape and form me from that moment on.

A/N:

I hope this clears up a bit of confusion about Bella's sexual state. Since Garrett, she's resorted to one-night stands whenever she's felt lonely. She's still a woman and she still feels lust, she simply haven't been in a relationship.

Edward has pretty much been that way since … always. He's sought comfort in the physical because he hasn't understood the importance of a mental connection.

Note this: Bella's thoughts are running wild here, BUT she hasn't said out loud that she will forgive him yet!

Until Friday

Stay Awesome!