II | to the grave

Breaking down, let the words fall from my mouth
All the things I've never shown, all the things you'd never know
Hear me out 'cause I never made the sound
Couldn't keep it locked away, couldn't take it to the grave
—to the grave by Bea Miller featuring Mike Stud

Richard stares worriedly at Kaliand'r, his brows pulled together and his jaw clenched so tightly together he'd crush his teeth if any more pressure were applied. The palms of his hands rub together and his elbows bare down on the tops if his knee caps as he leans forward from where he's seated on the couch beside her and tries to think of how to make the situation seem any clearer for Kali. He despises the feeling of not knowing what to say to console her, especially since she always spoke clearly and reasonably whenever he needed advice in the past because unlike her optimistic older sister, Kali's a realist, and always had something to say about everything even if Dick didn't want to hear it and he feels that she deserves some sort of explanation to help piece everything Jim Gordon revealed to them together. But he can't.

"Kali," He mumbles, his hand coming out to grab her's from the Vodka bottle it's anchored around. He sits the bottle on the coffee table and his hand returns to her's before he turns his body to face her. She doesn't look at him, her icey eyes staring off in to space across the room, as if a million thoughts are running through her head. Only one thought is, though:

Jason is not alive and he sure as hell didn't crawl out of his own grave.

"Kali-"

"He's not alive, Richard." She tells him harshly, looking at him with a glare, despite the tears that threaten to spill over her lashes. "Someone stole his body. He didn't just decide to come back to life and spring out of the ground like a weed."

Dick maintains his patience with her, nodding his head slowly, before telling her what he thinks.

"Kali, you saw those pictures. It just doesn't make sense for someone to dig him up, but have no evidence of him being dug up. And the scratch marks and blood on the inside of the casket and his nails-"

"It's not impossible for his body to have had spasms even though he was dead, Dick. It's like killing a snake but the nerves still cause the body to move and spasm despite it being dead. Humans can work the same way."

"His nerve spasms caused him to make scratch marks on his casket and caused his fingernails to tear off? Deep scratch marks that show signs of obvious struggle."

"His finger nails could've weakened from the rotting flesh they were attached to and fallen off themselves."

"The coffin was kicked out off, Kali. Someone didn't break in to it, the way it splintered is from exiting, not entering." He points out.

"I believe in Science, Richard, not miracles, and there is no way he's still alive. Even if he was alive, there is no way he managed to have enough strength to break out of a casket with pounds of dirt pressing it down being that he was beat nearly to death then left in a building with a bomb!" She barks, snatching her hand away from him and he grinds his teeth together, sighing heavily.

"You hate me right now for wanting to argue with you about this, don't you?" He asks her and she swallows the lump in her throat.

"I spent months telling myself him dying was a dream that I'd wake up from and I never did and now that I'm finally accepting it and I'm at peace with it, everyone's wanting me to believe after years of him being dead, that he miraculously survived a life-threatening beating, a time bomb, and being buried alive, even though he was dead when Bruce pulled him from the rubble. I don't hate you, Richard. I just wish you would see that this is impossible, and stop beating a horse that's already dead." She explains lowly, wiping the two tears streaming down her face, glancing at the clock. "You have patrol soon. You don't need to miss it."

"Kali-"

"I am fine. You didn't do your job at protecting this city when he first died because you had me on a highly unnecessary suicide watch and you wouldn't leave me alone and we're not having a repeat of it. You have an obligation to this city and you know it."

"I have an obligation to the people I care about as well, Kaliand'r." He argues sternly. "I'm not missing patrol tonight and I'm well aware of what all I failed to do when Jason died. I've been walking on egg shells all month to avoid being chewed out by you, or upsetting you but obviously anyone breathing the wrong way is enough to set you off so I might as well piss you off some more." He stands, his face hardening slightly as he looks down at her. "You're upset because in a couple of days it'll be seven years since he's been gone. Trust me, no one in our family is looking forward to it. Not me, not Bruce, not Alfred or Barbara, none of us. But the difference is that the four of us cope a lot better than you do. Around this time of year, always, you start to take your anger out on other people and it's not right, Kali."

"Oh, like Batman is rainbows and sunshine when he's taking his anger out-"

"On criminals!" He exclaims, and she stands to face him. "He fights criminals with his anger, he uses his rage to do good by the innocent people he protects and saves. You on the other hand, just about attack anyone who has the nerve to have a minor disagreement with you."

"Minor disagreement?" She hisses at him with her eyes cut. "Questioning my ability to do my job is a minor disagreement to you?! What if someone questioned your ability to be a good detective, Dick, better yet, questioned your ability to properly be Nightwing?"

"You're a great doctor, Kali!" He tells her, throwing his hands up with raised brows. "Most people know you are a great doctor so why the hell does it matter if a couple of pissed off police officers in another city question your judgement?"

"Because I am ordinary!" She shouts suddenly, tears coming like a flood down her face and confusion settles over her best friend's features as he tries to understand where her words are coming from. They both take a moment to calm down, and Kali wipes her tears before speaking. "When he died, and I found out and had my...incident, it drained everything from me. The power I possessed after the Psions experimented on me when I was younger, left me, and even the abilities I was born with were wilted and nearly gone, too."

"I remember it took you months of rest to even work up enough strength to be able to fly back to Tamaran because you wanted to get off of this planet and forget you were even here." He recalls lowly and she exhales before containing.

"But when I got home and faced my sister Komand'r, I..." More tears water in her eyes and Richard exhales softly, a saddened look on his face. "...She wanted me to return to my position as the leader of our people's militant forces and I couldn't. I tried but I couldn't because I no longer had the power that set Blackfire, Starfire and I apart from the rest of Tamaran, and I barely had the natural strength and agility our race was born with at that point." She tells him, licking her lips. "I thought my own sister was going to kill me. I was used to her wanting Kori dead, but she and I rarely ever had problems but I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw me trying to spar for the first time after my return. You would've thought I had tried to kill her with how disgusted she was." The sentence comes out in a chuckle, even though it's humorless. "I finally told her the truth. I told her what I did and why and she told me I no longer had a place in her kingdom's military and I was weaker than she'd ever thought I'd be for allowing my emotions for a human man to be so tightly knit to him that his death would cause me to exert all of my energy in to my grieving and do permanent damage to myself." She pauses for a couple of beats. "'You wanted a simple, moronic, life when you went to Earth, Sister, and now you have one. Congratulations, you're just as emotionally crippled as a human. You are ordinary.'" She quotes her older sister, her voice shaking as her eyes stay fixed in to space.

"That's why you came back," Richard says softly, finally understanding her coming back to Earth.

"That's why I came back."

"You could've told us, Kali," He extends his hand to her cheek, his thumb circling the soft skin.

"There's nothing any of you could've done and it would've added more burden to Bruce." She explains with a shake of her head, her hand grabbing his wrist softly to pull it away from her face.

"You could've at least told me," He says next, his eyes searching hers. "I knew something was off when you stopped shooting blue beams out of your fingers and throwing me around like a children's toy when we spar. I just thought maybe you reconnected with your people so strongly that their relatively peaceful idealologies finally rubbed off on you." His words cause Kali to laugh a little and he gives her a small smile.

"I'm ordinary, Richard." She says, sniffling. "I'm basically human. And not the kind that puts on a suit and fights criminals. I'm the kind that has no extracuriculars outside of her normal job. So, I can't afford to be questioned by anyone when it comes to how capable I am of my responsibilities as a doctor. I need to be as extraordinary in human terms as I can be. That's why I snap when anyone questions my work because I'm already as good as dust on my planet. I refuse to be as good as dust here, too."

Richard steps closer to her, opening his mouth to speak, but the ringing of his phone cuts him short.

He closes his eyes for a moment, Kali taking a step back from him so he can answer his phone with a decent amount of privacy.

"Hey," Dick answers after reading Barbara Gordon's name on his phone.

"You need to get to Gotham." She tells him with no explanation and he furrows his brows, eyeing Kaliand'r who's picked the whiskey bottle back up from the coffee table.

"Uh, explanation, Babs?" He asks, taking the bottle from Kali and taking it back to the cabinet. The Tamaranean just rolls her eyes.

The red headed woman exhales, glancing around her to make sure her father wasn't home yet.

"We've found some things the GCPD might've missed." She explains.

Richard continues looking at Kali as she plops back down on the couch and rubs her forehead.

"I'm with Kali, right now, Barbara. And I promise she doesn't want to go to Gotham and talk about anything." He replies, stepping to his room so Kali doesn't hear him.

"No, she's gonna wanna see this, too." She assures him and he sighs.

"I've already tried talking to her about the possibility of him being alive and she got really—"

"What was found let's us know him being alive isn't a possibility, Dick. It's a fact." She tells him and he clenches and unclenches his jaw for a moment.

X X X

"I don't even know what to say to them, Richard, I haven't seen them in two years." Kali complains to Dick as they arrive at Wayne manor.

"Just blame how busy work is. That's always a decent excuse for not contacting people more often." He shrugs, taking the key from his car and getting out.

She follows, crossing her arms in Dick's over sized sweatshirt she stole from him.

They stand outside the door, ringing the doorbell, and Alfred swings the door open with an elegant smile that Kali always adored.

"Master Grayson." He greets Dick, his eyes going to Kali and he keeps the same expression. "Miss Anders."

"Hey, Alfred," Dick smiles widely, hugging his old butler quickly, and Kali also gives a smile.

"Hi." She says shortly to the British man, following Dick as he steps past him and in to his previous home.

"Master Wayne and Miss Gordon are downstairs, Sir." Alfred informs them.

"Thank you." Dick replies, his hand grasping Kali's as he leads her to the hidden staircase that gets to the Batcave.

"Missed this place." He sighs out, stepping in to the heavily equipped hideout, seeing Barbara, Tim and Bruce at the same computer.

The three turn around, seeing Dick for the first time in several months, and seemingly being dragged behind him is Kaliand'r, who they haven't seen in years.

"Just like old times," Barbara says, looking at her. "All of us together."

"Yeah, except one of us is a replacement, one's paralyzed and four out of five of us are completely delusional, Barbara." Kali shoots down her light-hearted comment and Dick squeezes her hand in his, a silent command that she needs to stop trying to start trouble but the Tamaranean glares at him and takes her hand out of his.

"What is she doing here?" Tim asks Richard without caring if Kali hears or not.

"I have more right to be here than you, Mr. Replacement." She snaps at him and he scoffs.

"I didn't want to leave her by herself." Dick explains and Kali rolls her eyes.

"He's afraid I'll try to kill myself." She corrects him flatly.

"I am not." He argues with raised brows. "I just don't think you should be alone right now."

"Oh, right, because my beaten bloody and blown to hell boyfriend is alive after all." She pipes sarcastically and he glares at her.

"We know it sounds bizarre." Bruce cuts in, finally looking Kali in the eyes. "But none of us would even be proposing the possibility if we didn't have enough evidence to back it up and regardless of your skepticism, we're still going to investigate this as closely as possible. You don't have to help us, but it'd make things easier if you would at least keep your snide comments to yourself as much as possible."

Kali rubs her lips together, and gives up, walking to the three of them with Dick on her heels.

"What other evidence have you found?" She asks them, trying not to let her voice crack.

"A couple of years ago, a John Doe was brought in to Gotham General and was hooked up to a ventilator. He was unconscious for about year until he woke up and was claimed by his 'wife' and was discharged." Tim tells them.

"It was a long shot but I asked a couple of the nurses on his case what his wife looked like and the description they gave me," Barbara talks next while Tim makes a few clicks on the computer and turns the monitor to them. A beautiful woman with dark, full hair and tanned skin appears, and Kali furrows her brows. "She matches the description of Talia al Ghul perfectly." Barbara points out.

"What the hell would Talia want with Jason?" Dick asks, his mind racing with utter curiosity.

"We haven't exactly got to that part yet." Barbara tells them. "But Tim managed to hack in to the hospitals data base and the John Doe brought in is 6 foot even, about 225 pounds, blue eyes, black hair, and around the age Jason would have been two years ago."

Kali and Dick look at each other, possibly thinking the same thing. Kali refuses to believe he's alive, but the evidence is saying otherwise.

"Well, Timothy, you're good for more than trying to be at least half as good as the boy wonder before you, after all." Kali tells him and he gives her an unamused look. "So no one's visited his grave in two years?" She asks next and everyone seems to be fascinated with anywhere but looking at her as she speaks to them.

"There's been so much happening here, Kali." Barbara says calmly. "It sounds horrible but none of us had the time."

"And no one reported a dug up grave sooner?" She asks next and Bruce exhales.

"Gordon said the first complaint they heard about it was from Harley." He states.

"Where's she staying?" Kali asks them and the the four of them look at her.

"Kali, it might not be the best to—"

"I did her a huge favor regarding her ex-lover, not too long ago, that I recall catching a lot of hell from people all over this city for. The least she can do is give me solid answers. Not the bullshit she probably fed to the GCPD." Kali says sternly and Bruce gives Richard a look before the first Robin sighs out in surrender.

"Uptown." Dick says to her. "The apartments a few blocks away from the Bridge that goes to Metropolis. Apartment building 4, apartment 310."

"Okay, I'm going." She tells them and nods, turning to leave when Dick grabs her wrist.

"I'll go with you," He says.

"You have a city to go babysit." She argues with a raised brow, looking past his shoulder to Bruce and Barbara. "You all do. I'm perfectly capable of getting what I need with out supervision."

Richard gives her a look she hates getting from him. The "let me help you" look. It was her weakness, right next to the "let me take care of you" look he pulled off so well.

"I'll see you later tonight." She assures him, softening her features to give him a small smile, stepping forward to cup his face in her hands, tugging his lips upwards with her thumbs to make him smile, even though it was a sad attempt due to him only giving her stern look. She drops her thumbs from the corners of his mouth. "I love you." She tells him. "I'll call you if I need you and I'll be careful."

"You swear?" He asks her in a serious tone and she nods.

"I swear."

"Kali—"

"I promise, Richard." She repeats, her smile not faltering and he gives up and smiles a little, as well.

"I'll see you you later tonight, then." He replies.

"Yes, you will." She nods and he hands her his car keys, causing her to furrow her brows a little.

"I'll borrow one from Bruce." He explains, looking over his shoulder to the older man. "If it's okay."

"It's fine." Bruce gives him permission, not entirely thrilled about Kaliand'r going after Harley without someone with her.

She wasn't always the best humanitarian when it came to getting critical questions answered...but perhaps her lack of power will come with a lack of anger while facing the clown's ex-girlfriend.

"Bye." Kali says to them as she turns on her heel with Dick's keys in her hand.

"Love you," Richard tells her just as she's in the entrance of the cave and she gives him a warm smile.

"I will see you later tonight." Is all she says before heading back upstairs.

A quiet falls over the four of them and Richard turns to look at Barbara, Bruce and Tim.

"Talia has access to the Lazarus Pit." Bruce tells Richard once Kali's out of earshot, and Dick's smile falls from his face.

"He's alive." Dick says in an almost whisper, bile rising in his throat, and he has to keep himself steady. Bruce nods, a solemn expression on his face.

"He's alive."

X X X

Kali makes her way to apartment 310 after her arrival, knocking on the door.

The place where the apartment building is located seems like a decently safe part of the city, a long shot away from how dangerous and hellacious downtown is but Kali still keeps her guard up.

The door swings open, revealing a beautiful Harleen Quinzel. Her blue eyes shine and her smile is wide as she recognizes Kali almost immediately.

"Doctor Anders," She says politely. "Can I help you with something?"

"I have questions regarding Jason's missing body." Kali tells her and the smile falls from the blonde's face.

"Do you have a warrant?" She asks daringly and Kali raises her brow.

"Whipple." Kali says in a hiss and Harleen cuts her eyes at her for a moment before stepping aside.

"Fine." She sighs, motioning for Kali to come in.

"Well, where should we start?" Harleen asks as Kali looks around.

The apartments a decent size, but mostly spacious due to it being emptier than one would think it should be. She takes mental note of this and turns back to face Harleen.

"Where were you when he was doing it?" Kali blurts unapologetically, no explanation needed as Harleen takes in a heavy breath and steps to her cupboard.

"Start with the heavy stuff, then." She chuckles out nervously, pulling a bottle of wine out of the cabinet and setting it on the counter before grabbing two glasses.

"I don't tip-toe." Kali tells her and Harleen nods.

"I can tell. Wine?" She offers a filled glass and Kali shakes her head. Harleen shrugs slightly and takes a sip of the dark liquid, trying to put her thoughts together before speaking: "We has gotten in to an argument over something and weren't necessarily on speaking terms. I left to go stay with my friend Pamela and when I came back home a couple days later he was gone. The next thing I know the Bat's dragging him to Arkham and the murder of Jason Todd is plastered all over every news station, radio station, and paper. So I suppose I was in Gotham when he was doing it."

Kali nods, studying the woman's face for signs of lying the way Richard and Bruce has taught her. In their words, "everyone's got a subconscious telltale."

Harleen wasn't showing one, so Kali accepts her answer.

"What about you?" The question's turned back on Kali, and she snaps her head back up to look at her, trying to see if she really just asked that. "Where were you while he was doing it?" The woman repeats and Kali curls her fingers in to her palm and licks her lips.

"The outskirts of Central City." She responds and Harleen nods silently, rubbing her lips together while looking down at her black sweat pants.

"What did you say to him?" Kali asks lowly and Harleen squeezes her eyes shut a moment, drinking some more wine.

"I wasn't happy with him but that I loved him anyway and we would try to work things out when he got out of Arkham." She admits.

"Jason was only nineteen. He was a kid. He killed a kid and you still entertained the idea of staying with him?" Kali's tone is an accusation and Harleen furrows her brows.

"I was sick and dependent on a man that was sick. We were both sick. What the hell else was I going to do? Leave him? Because I would've rather someone put a gun to my head than ever be without him back then."

"So what changed?"

"A couple of years ago he was diagnosed with cancer while he was staying at Arkham. He escaped, and came home. He tried to hide it from me but I found out eventually. He found it amusing that he was dying and I didn't. So I turned us both in to the police because he couldn't go get fixed by hiding out. When he got to Arkham they did some more tests and scans and found out the cancer had spread to a few other parts of his organs and he needed a pancreaticoduodenectomy. A Whipple surgery. Doctor Arkham called in the best surgeon he knew to perform the surgery. Little did I know the doctor he called in happened to be the girlfriend of the kid J had killed five years earlier. She told me the only way she would perform the surgery and save his life, was if I left him and got better. I told her I would so she put her bias aside and honored the oath she took as a medical physician and did the surgery that saved him." She states knowingly, not breaking eye contact with Kali. "That's what changed."

A/N: Jason will be in the next chapter, both in flashbacks and present. Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think so far!