Hey guys!
I´m so so so sorry that I haven´t posted in so long. I just had like zero inspiration because my favorite couple (Slexie in case you didn´t know XD) broke up last chapter and I was so sad about my own story that I couldn´t write anymore XD.
Well, now you guys have a long chapter (3 pages more than usually) and I hope you like it.
Love ya
Ps: So sorry I haven´t really used Crowen the last few chapters. But there will be more in a few.
It´s not that easy being green
It´s hard being a doctor.
Which decision should I make?
What is wrong and right?
What will work and what not?
"Karev. Good to see you back at work." Lucy greeted Alex who came towards her yawning.
"Yeah. Perhaps it´s better when I distract myself with something." he replied faking a smile.
"Oh you have to work on your attitude to work with tiny humans." Arizona joined them with her big smile.
"Doctor Robbins. What are you doing here?" Lucy asked a bit annoyed of her interrupting them.
"Well, Alex is my resident today." she claimed and Lucy shook her head confused.
"No...look here...Karev´s with me." she showed her the plan where head of peds stood as attending by Alex´ name. "What does stand on our plan?" she asked the two of them.
"Head of peds." Alex shrugged and Arizona pulled out the plan.
"Here...it says Alex Karev – Arizona Robbins. I´m sure the thing with head of peds was just a mistake." Arizona grinned and Lucy got mad.
"Sure. Please...he´s fully yours." she meant stepping back.
We don´t have the right to prefer a patient.
We have to help them and stop their suffering no matter which skin-color, religion or political opinions they have.
"Good afternoon Mister uh...Clarington, my name´s doctor Grey I´m your doctor." Lexie opened the curtain to face a man and his wife.
"Miss...um...could you maybe bring me somewhere else?" the man asked whispering with his wife´s hand on his shoulder.
"Why? What´s the problem?" she came closer and the old man looked down at his hands.
"I just would like to be somewhere else." he repeated again and Lexie arched her eyebrows suspicious.
"Sure...um..I´m gonna look what we can do." she faked a smile and went to the nurses desk.
We are also not allowed to work on family.
We have to stand there and watch other doctors performing our work.
And that´s hard...especially when we know we are better than they are.
And trust me...every doctor thinks this about himself.
"So his BP could be better but everything´s fine." a cardiologist meant noting something in Henry´s chart.
"Are you sure? He looks so pale and is really weak." Teddy asked the doctor again.
"Teddy.." Henry tried to hold her back whispering.
"Doctor Altman I´m a pretty good cardiologist, you know?" the doctor mentioned to her sarcastically mad.
"Me too." she replied crossing her arms over her chest.
"Then why did you want another doctor to come when you´re a surgeon. You can read this on your own. This was a waste of time."he meant leaving the room and Henry hold his fake wife back before she could follow him.
"Son of a bitch." she cursed murmuring but Henry heard it and had to smile.
It´s hard to work with all the pressure of deciding about who can live and who has to die.
We need to stay focused no matter what happens in our private life.
It´s good to have something, where you can forget the work.
But often...doctors can´t do that.
"Doctor Shepherd...don´t you want to go home and get some sleep? You´ve been here the whole night." a nurse meant when she entered Izzie´s room where Derek sat on the chair next to her yawning and rubbing his eyes.
"I´m fine thank you." he replied and the nurse left him eye-rolling. He looked down at his shoes when suddenly Izzie said something.
"Good morning doctor Shepherd." she whispered huskily.
"Doctor Stevens. Hi." he smiled at her.
"How often do I have to tell you...it´s Izzie." she corrected him.
"So you remember?" he asked happily.
"Of course why shouldn´t I?" Izzie replied confused and sarcastically. "Why are you here?"
"There were complications during your surgery. I just wanted to check on you but it seems fine." he smiled relieved.
"I´m feeling so good. How are you?" she wanted to know.
"I´m feeling great now that I know you´re fine." Derek replied and took her hand. After a pause Izzie took a deep breath and smiled even brighter.
"Derek...what are you doing here?" she asked and Derek closed his eyes with a long sigh and leaned back in his chair.
"Nothing...I just wanted to check on you." he faked a smile and looked at her trying to hide the fear.
"Okay...Your heartbeats are a bit irregular so I prefer to have you here and do some tests if it´s okay for you." Cristina told the Mexican patient in the e.r. next to Lexie´s patient. But the man looked confused and his adult daughter nodded.
"I´m sorry...my dad doesn´t speak English...El médico quiere hacer algunas pruebas pero no necesita tener miedo (The doctor will do some tests but you don´t have to be afraid.)." the daughter explained to her father in Spanish.
"Okay...Well, then you should come with him so you can translate." Cristina meant and showed some nurses to help her to carry the bed into a room followed by mister Clarington´s eyes.
"So there´s no empty trauma room here?" Lexie asked the nurse Taylor.
"Doctor Grey...I told you these rooms are all full and moreover you are not allowed to exam a patient in there without a trauma." Taylor answered a bit mad.
"But he does not let me exam him as long as he stays here." Lexie explained stressed.
"Not my problem." the male nurse replied and went away.
"Ugh.." Lexie sighed and went back to her patient´s bed where now was enough place because Cristina´s patient was gone.
"I´m sorry mister Clarington I tried but there are no empty beds or rooms here." Lexie excused but the old man shook his head.
"It´s okay I can stay here." he smiled and Lexie arched her eyebrows.
"Really? What did change your mind?" she asked confused.
"Nothing, nothing." he lied and Lexie started the examination after a short second of confusion.
Every doctor got a page and met in the auditorium where doctor Webber stood on the stairs having a view over his staff.
"Dear ladies and gentlemen. As you know the fusion with the Mercy West is only a few days away. As you maybe noticed I shortened our staff and that´s what the chief of the Mercy West did too. Today some of the doctors that will work here for sure are coming to watch how it´s going on with us and that I can see if they are really as good as they are told to be." he explained and a whisper ran through the crowd. "They are not going to replace you. I am still thinking about whom I´m firing and there´s the possibility that you can be fired after the fusion. I´m really sorry to announce this but the management wanted it like that." Some of the doctors looked shocked others looked confident not getting fired.
"I need to go." Derek whispered to Bailey who stood next to him and looking at him confused when he went away.
"Thank you." Webber meant and turned around going to his office when the crowd slowly split.
"Doctor Shepherd. Sorry. I just needed to see her." Alex stood in Izzie´s room and turned around to Derek.
"No no. It´s okay." he replied and stopped at the end of her bed and put the chart on the table.
"Are there any changes?" Alex worried and went to the attending and looked into the chart.
"I´m afraid not. I´ll wait till tonight and if it won´t get better I´ll operate."he closed the chart so Alex couldn´t read anymore and the resident nodded.
"I hope it will get better. I don´t want her to suffer." he sobbed.
"She won´t. I made a mistake, I will fix it." Derek said and left her room.
"You paged cardio- Cristina!" Teddy entered the room in which Cristina brought the Mexican patient.
"No I didn´t." she replied more asking.
"I did." her intern admitted quietly raising her hand and earning a mad look from Cristina.
"Doctor Yang go. I don´t need your help here." Teddy said mad and stepped to the patient which looked confused and scared.
"Excuse me...what´s going on here?" his daughter asked worried.
"Nothing." Cristina assured and continued the examination.
"Doctor Yang!" Teddy said harshly standing behind her.
"I didn´t page cardio cause it´s just a test. I can do do this." Cristina explained messing his blood pressure.
"The last time you said this a patient died." Teddy quickly closed her mouth after saying this.
"What?!" the daughter screamed which made her father even more anxious.
"Teddy I-"
"It´s doctor Altman for you. And now leave the patient. You´re off of my service." Teddy explained harsh but still controlled and Cristina turned her head to face her. After a short moment in which they stared into each others eyes Cristina let the instrument fall onto the bed and stamped out of the room.
"I´m really sorry for this incident. My name´s doctor Altman and I´m your doctor now." Teddy faked a smile and continued the examination.
"Okay...you have gallstones. We need to operate tonight. Doctor Bailey will do this." Lexie explained to mister Clarington and his wife before the nurses brought him into a patient´s room.
"Is she good?" his wife asked worried and whispering when her husband was a bit away.
"Oh she´s very good." Lexie assured smiling and watched the woman going behind his bed.
"Hello doctor. Could you please help me I guess I´m lost." a male voice behind Lexie asked. She turned around and faced the resident she met at the Mercy West when she was with her sister.
"Jackson right? Jackson Avery?" she asked and pointed on him smiling.
"Lexie Grey...Ha..last time you were blonde." he giggled and reached out his hand and Lexie shook it. In the meantime Mark entered the e.r. and stopped next to Callie at the nurses desk. He tried to avoid staring at Lexie but watched her from the corner of his eye.
"Who´s the guy Lexie´s talking to?" he asked jealous.
"I heard he´s one of the Mercy West guys. And that he´s Harper Avery´s grandson." Callie explained noting something into a chart.
"Harper Avery? You mean THE Harper Avery?" he asked shocked.
"Yep." Callie replied looking at her chart.
"I guess I was." Lexie smiled. "So how can I help you?"
"I am one of the doctors that has to prove they can work with the doctors here. And fortunately I can work with you today. Well, with doctor Bailey but I heard she´s working with you so.." he replied to her question.
"Wow that´s..cool. So I just gonna give you the information of the case. So his name is-" Lexie started but Jackson interrupted her.
"Why don´t we talk about it during lunch? 1 pm?" he asked smirking what benefit his light blue eyes but Lexie hesitated.
Callie noticed that Mark now looked straight to Lexie.
"Forget it." she looked at him and sighed. "She won´t take you back this time. You really screwed up with her. Well, we both did but you´re the one that has to pay for it. Deal with it." she explained annoyed.
"Why are you so..mean?" he asked surprised and looked at his best friend.
"That´s the pregnancy hormones. And I miss Arizona." Callie answered.
"Why don´t you talk to her?" Mark asked grinning.
"Because she left me!" Callie replied mad.
"But you slept with me." he joked but Callie thought it was not funny.
"And you slept with me!" she shouted through the e.r. leaving it and of course everybody including Lexie and Jackson heard it. Lexie looked at Callie walking away and then to Mark and they´re eyes met. Nobody of them could break it and Jackson followed Lexie´s eyes to Mark too.
"Everything´s okay? Is this your boyfriend?" he asked and Lexie shook her head and closed her eyes before she looked at him again.
"Yeah..No..no..I don´t have a boyfriend anymore. Lunch sounds good...I...I see you at 1." she faked a smile and also walked away. Jackson looked back at the person Lexie stared at – Mark – and noticed that he watched Lexie leaving sorrowful.
"Uh I hate Teddy." Cristina laid down next to Meredith on a bench in the resident´s locker room.
"I hate Derek."
"She embarrassed me in front of a patient." she told her friend.
"I just wanted to help him. I know something about neuro. I knew what to do." Meredith didn´t respond Cristina.
"She doesn´t want to understand that I am the best she can get." Cristina continued with her story also not replying to Meredith.
"He ignored me the whole night and day. I called him, paged him. He just doesn´t want to talk to me. He didn´t sleep at home!" Meredith got mad talking about her miserable situation.
"Teddy ignored me the past two weeks. I learned my lesson. She can take me back. But no she interrupts my cardio exam." Cristina crossed her arms over her chest.
"I thought you were off of her service...why did you do a cardio exam?" Meredith asked Cristina.
"I saw him in the e.r. and I needed cardio. Even if it was just messing the BP. She told the patient that my last cardio patient I had died."
"How dares she?" Meredith asked unbelievable and Cristina shrugged.
"Attending are dumb." she said and Meredith looked at her smiling before staring back at the ceiling.
"Attending are dumb." she replied and took Cristina´s hand.
Teddy ran through the hallways straight to Henry´s room.
"Henry!" she shouted when she entered his room to face him sitting in his bed playing with his jello. "Wha- What´s going on?"
"Hey...I´m bored. I thought we could spend some time together. Maybe go to the park?" he smiled at Teddy´s confused and anxious face.
"The park? Henry I have patient´s. I just ran away from a man with irregular heartbeats and I don´t know what causes them." she leaned against the wall rubbing her forehead.
"Well, you look like you need to relax. Can´t you just sit here and spend five minutes with me?" he grinned making place on his bed and straightening the blanket.
"Henry I-"
"Two minutes." he begged but Teddy hesitated. "You can say you had to examine someone."
"One minute and no second longer." she smiled and wanted to sit down.
"Wait! Can you bring me a fruit cup instead of this Jello? I´m not a big fan of it." he giggled and Teddy rolled her eyes going outside and taking two fruit cups from the tray with the meals the nurses put next to the desk.
"Here." she threw one towards him and sat down next to him starting eating hers when she noticed Henry staring at her and not eating his.
"Time´s running." she joked and he laughed.
"So how was your day so far?" he asked her before putting the spoon inside his mouth.
"Good...well, I had a little argue with Cristina and said something inappropriate in front of the patient. But she just doesn´t want to learn that she´s not the best." Teddy explained him.
"What did you say?" he asked taking another spoon with the fruits.
"Not important...You know I don´t want to embarrass her again." she answered and Henry nodded and rubbed the place his scar from the surgery was.
"What´s wrong? Does it hurt?" Teddy asked worried and put away her and his fruit cup.
"No..yeah..I got side effects of the pain killers they used on me so I asked for another one but they didn´t bring it yet." he explained and Teddy looked up.
"Side effects! Henry you´re a genius!" she hugged him and headed outside of the room before turning around and coming back to the door.
"Oh and the next time you want to change your dessert, you call the nurses." she smiled and ran back to her patient.
"I´m sorry. I´m afraid I don´t know what that means. Why is it important if my dad had a cold recently?" the daughter of Teddy´s patient asked.
"Because some cough syrups have an active ingredient called Dextromethorphan. It can cause palpitations. So did your father use one of these cough syrups?" Teddy asked and handed out a piece of paper with some cough syrup labels.
"This one." she pointed on one.
"Okay...when did he stop taking it?" Teddy opened the chart to note it.
"About one week ago." she counted.
"Hm...okay...that´s strange. Well, we´ll do some more tests and then I can tell you more. But for now thanks for the information." Teddy closed the chart after making some notes and left the patient again.
Lexie talked with her patient and his wife about the operation when Bailey entered the room.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Clarington. My name is doctor Bailey and I´m gonna operate you today. How are you feel-" she smiled but mister Clarington cut her off by talking to Lexie.
"She´s the brilliant surgeon? That woman´s gonna operate me?" he asked her quietly but loud enough so Miranda heard him.
"Excuse me? What´s the problem?" she asked into the round and Lexie shrugged.
"I don´t wan to be operated by her. I want another doctor. I don´t want this woman." he meant and Bailey looked to Lexie confused and she replied it.
"Doctor Grey...on a word please." she said and the doctors left the room.
"What did you tell him about me?" the attending asked and Lexie shrugged shocked.
"Nothing. I told his wife that you were great and that they were lucky to have you. I said nothing." she defended herself.
"Then what´s wrong? Is he a sexist? Did he say anything to you?" she asked and Lexie shook her head.
"No not really." she replied and Bailey nodded. "He behaved so strange the whole day."
"Okay...I have a theory. Page doctor Webber. He should do this. Maybe he has more luck." Bailey turned around and left.
"Wait! What theory?" Lexie asked her loudly but she didn´t answer. Lexie wanted to go in again when she saw that it was already 10 past 1 pm and remembered the meeting with Jackson. After a goodbye to the patient she headed into the cafeteria where Jackson already sat by a table.
"I already thought you wouldn´t come." he joked and showed her to sit down next to him.
"Yeah I had some struggles with our patient." she sat down and let out an exhausted sigh.
"Why?" Jackson asked eating his chips.
"He doesn´t want Bailey to operate him. I don´t know why. He´s completely normal to me but he was almost hysterical when he saw her." Lexie explained rubbing her forehead.
"Who was hysterical?" Alex asked and sat down next to them followed by Meredith.
"My patient." Lexie stole a fry from her sisters tray.
"Hey! These are mine." she warned her.
"What´s with your patient?" Alex wanted to know taking a bite of his sandwich.
"He doesn´t want to be operated by doctor Bailey." Jackson mentioned to them and Meredith and Alex looked at him.
"Who are you?" Meredith asked snoopy.
"Jackson Avery. I´m from the Mercy West." he said smiling but both kinda looked annoyed of his presence.
"Why does he not want to be operated by Bailey?" Alex continued.
"I don´t know. He´s normal to me." Lexie sighed helpless.
"Dude, you´re smart. You´re Lexipedia. He´s a racist." Alex chuckled.
"A racist?" Jackson asked. He still didn´t know how Bailey looked like.
"No he´s not...he´s just...um..just...oh god...he´s a racist." Lexie stuttered and Alex giggled. Cristina came and sat down next to her best friend and also stole a fry.
"What´s wrong with you guys?" Meredith asked mad.
"I need carbs. And a heart." Cristina said with her mouth full.
"You must be Cristina Yang. I heard from you even at the Mercy West." Jackson explained smirking.
"And you are?" Cristina asked interested.
"Jackson Avery." he shook her hand.
"Avery? You mean-" Cristina stuttered, her eyes widened.
"Yeah as in Harper Avery." Jackson cut her off and looked down at his food embarrassed. "He´s my grandfather." he whispered. Jackson hated it when everybody started showing interest as soon as he tells he´s a relative of Harper Avery. He wants to be respected as the surgeon he is and not because of his famous grandfather.
"Good afternoon doctors. I have a huge case. Burn patient – skin donation. Any volunteers?" Mark came to their table looking around, his eyes stopping on Lexie. "Little Grey?"
"I have a patient." her voice was shaky when she stood up and left the table not looking at Mark who stared at her leaving. Again Jackson tried to figure out what happened between them.
"Anyone else?" he asked disappointed. "You.." he looked at Jackson. "You look perfect for plastic surgery."
"Um...I´m sorry I...I don´t like being reduced on my outsides." he stuttered. "And I´m working with doctor bailey today so excuse me please." Jackson stood up and left the table with his tray while Mark looked at the three familiar residents with asking eyes.
"Sorry. I got Robbins." Alex answered. Mark didn´t even dare to ask Meredith feeling the tensions between them.
"Yang.." he looked at Cristina hoping she would agree.
"Plastics?" Cristina asked disgusted.
"It´s not a heart but as I heard you need some more hours in any other specialty. This surgery will take at least 8 hours." he winked at her when she rolled her eyes.
"Fine. When?" she asked annoyed.
"In 2 hours." Mark smiled relieved and left the table again.
"You know you were his last choice. Attending don´t like you." Meredith mentioned to her.
"I don´t care. He can be happy that he got me." Cristina left the table again so she could study in the library.
"I can´t believe it...this patient should had got operated yesterday." a surgeon stood in Izzie´s room with her chart talking to himself in front of the patient´s boyfriend.
"But doctor Shepherd meant that-" he wanted to say but he got cut off.
""I don´t care what this doctor said...He risked this patient´s life." the man explained harshly.
"Izzie." Derek stood behind him leaning against the wall. "Her name is Izzie. And I didn´t risk her life." he came closer to the unfamiliar surgeon and faced Alex who looked terrified. "I wanted to wait. In some case the bleeding goes away on it´s own. I would have operated tonight." he faked a smile and tore the chart out of the other doctor´s hands.
"Doctor Shepherd." he reached out his hand. "And you must be Doctor Dixon. Mercy West´s best neuro surgeon." Derek recognized him.
"Indeed." Dixon shook his hand. "Webber told me I should check on um..." he looked down on a note book.
"Stevens...Isobel Stevens." Derek helped him.
"Right. He wanted a second opinion." Dixon also faked a smile.
"Did he? I´m pretty sure he could have asked the neuro surgeons at this hospital...why would he ask you?" Derek wanted to know sarcastically offending.
"We both know that we are the best neuro surgeons in Seattle." the other doctor replied not less offending.
"Maybe you are...I´m the best from America." Derek grinned and Dixon stopped.
"Alex what´s going on?" Izzie asked huskily when she woke up from the men arguing.
"Iz...nothing it´s fine...That´s doctor Di-" Alex came to Izzie but the Mercy West neuro surgeon interrupted him.
"I´m doctor Dixon...I took over your case." he meant and Izzie arched her eyes confused.
"I thought you were just the second opinion." Derek also stopped smiling and narrowed his eyes going to the other side of the bed.
"I´m gonna operate soon. I´m pretty sure doctor Shepherd wants to assist me when I correct his mistake...to learn something." He told Izzie but looked at Derek who shook his head uncomprehending.
"Mistake..operation..Alex what are they talking about." Izzie asked terrified grabbing Alex´ hand.
"Nothing..." he whispered to her before he turned to the neuro gods again. "Due all respect could you please discuss this somewhere else? That´s not professional behavior that´s..that´s childish." Alex explained mad and Derek and his unfriendly competitor looked at each other narrowing their eyes.
"He embarrassed me in front of a patient." Derek pointed on Dixon when they stood in Webber´s office.
"I did not. I was saying the truth." Dixon justified his acting.
"Which was clearly to embarrass me!" Derek explained to Richard who rubbed his forehead.
"Enough..." he ordered and the doctors remained quiet. "I have so much going on with the management firing my staff, doctors marrying patients, love triangles and the fusion. I can not deal with two of the best neuro surgeons fighting over a patient." he explained and Derek rolled his eyes.
"I´m not-" he started but Webber showed him with his hand to stop.
"Doctor Shepherd I told doctor Dixon to look at Steven´s case and to tell his opinion. But due all respect doctor Dixon...I never wanted you to take over the case. Maybe we are handling things different here and maybe it´s not the way you should go." Webber looked at him.
"So you´re firing me? You don´t want me here after the fusion?" Dixon asked harshly and Webber nodded.
"Fine. I´ll go...I already knew this hospital would be a bad choice. I can find hospitals that are happy to have me and respect me as the greatness I am." he stormed out of the office and left them behind.
"Thank you." Derek smiled but Webber didn´t.
"Shepherd I know you think you´re always right. And you really are one of the best neuro surgeons. But you shouldn´t always count on it. There can always be someone with a better plan. And there can always be someone that´s better than you. You can´t do this alone. You have to except help from your loved ones." Richard fold his hands together and looked him deeply into the eyes.
"Are you talking about my love life?" Derek wondered.
"This hospital might be big but I´m the chief and I am not excluded from hearing the rumors." he explained.
"We need to operate your dad as soon as possible. Though it´s just a cardiac pacemaker there are also some risks you have to know." Teddy talked with the daughter of her patient.
"I..I can´t...I don´t know what to think." she replied her eyes tearing up.
"I know you´re afraid..but I want to assure you that I´ll give my best. If you could please sign this?" Teddy gave her a chart and the daughter signed it. "Thank you. We prep him immediately."
"Okay Mister Clarington I got a new surgeon for you. It´s doctor Webber he´s the chief of surgery." Lexie told him and his wife and only seconds later Webber entered the room and the patient rolled his eyes.
"I don´t want him either." he said and Richard looked confused.
"Mister Clarington he´s the best surgeon here with the most experience." Lexie tried to comfort him and Webber sighed.
"Doctor Grey please...isn´t there any other doctor." his wife asked quietly and Lexie looked at Webber who heard the wife and showed the intern to come here.
"Are there any other general surgeons available?" Lexie asked him, now pretty sure that Jackson was right.
"No their not. He has to let me operate him otherwise the pain gets even worse." Richard explained and Lexie nodded.
"Okay." she whispered and Webber left.
"Will there be another surgeon?" the wife asked hoping.
"Mister Clarington. I don´t care about you being a racist and you being so damn stupid to be in pain than to finally get rid of these gallstones. I´m a doctor...I´m your doctor and..I...I have to treat you. But it´s your decision. You can get this operation with doctor Webber or you can go home and find another hospital. But good luck and at this moment your pain should be so bad that you can´t stand straight." she explained harshly leaning over to the man. Then she stepped back and looked at the couple. "Page me when you have decided."
Alex sat on the end of Izzie´s bed sobbing quietly so she didn´t wake up.
"Alex? What´s wrong why are you crying?" she asked yawning. Alex inhaled deeply. He knew it wouldn´t make sense to tell her everything´s fine and he also knew she would forget if he tells her.
"Because of you!" he stood up and wiped away the tears. "Because you´re sick. Because you forget everything. Because you wanted this surgery and I let you." he explained and got louder and closer with every sentence.
"I don´t know what you mean..." she replied shocked.
"Exactly. Cause you forget everything within 30 seconds. I...I don´t know what to do you...you´re the love of my life and I don´t want to let you go...but...but you don´t even let me that decision cause you signed a freaking DNR! I..I hate you so much for doing this...I hate you so much because it hurts me that you´re sick...I hate you that I love you...And I love you so much that I would like to put a pillow on your face so you don´t have to suffer anymore." he cried and yelled at once what made her cry.
"Alex I-" she wanted to say but he stormed out of the room. He hates when someone sees him weak.
"Okay guys...Let´s give this man a cardiac pacemaker!" Teddy said holding out her hand when she stood in front of the Mexican patient´s opened chest. "Here you guy little guy..." she placed the pacemaker when suddenly his BP dropped.
"What´s going on?" she yelled and tried to fix it stressed when he suddenly flat-lined. "Paddles!"
We can´t show our grief about the patient we lost.
We have to stay strong so the next patient trusts us.
When we show our sadness we´re weak
and when we don´t show any emotions we´re heartless.
"Doctor Altman! How did it go? Is he fine?" the daughter asked when Teddy came towards her exhaling deeply.
"No..no no no..please tell me it´s not true." The girl begged tearing up.
"Your father had a really weak heart. We tried everything in our power to save him but we failed. I´m sorry to tell you...your father is dead." Teddy fought with her tears while explaining it to her.
"No..no no.." The girl put her hand on her mouth and sat down crying heavily.
"I´m really sorry." Teddy said heartbroken before she left the patient and went to the attending locker room, where she sat down on the couch.
"Hey...what´s going on?" doctor Dixon asked when he saw her wiping away a tear.
"I lost a patient." she said sobbing.
"I´m really sorry. I lost my job." he tried to cheer her up.
"I´m sorry." she replied.
"Would you like to go to this bar across the street? Heard they have good drinks." he suggested and Teddy looked up to him. She hesitated but then nodded.
"Yeah...can you wait a few minutes? I´ll be right back. Just need to do something first." she smiled and left the room after he agreed.
Our private life has to stay at home.
We need to be professional and act like nothing´s wrong.
We are the doctors. Not the patients.
We have to listen to their problems not ours.
Meredith was checking Henry´s vitals and noting them when he suddenly spoke up.
"Do you think she likes me?" he asked watching the resident.
"Who?" she asked smiling.
"Teddy...doctor Altman. Do you think she has feelings for me?" he wanted know and Meredith looked at him while noting his blood pressure.
"I don´t know. Do you?" she put a wisp of her hair behind her ear.
"I have the feeling she does...I´m a handsome guy right?" he joked and Meredith giggled.
"My fiancé would not be happy about this but yes you are." she smiled and so did Henry. "but I´m not pretty sure if my fiancé still wants me so..." she stopped smiling and continued checking him with the stethoscope.
"Why?" Henry asked carrying.
"I messed up with some things and...and now he´s mad at me." she explained the short form.
"Maybe you should tell him how you feel." Henry suggested and Meredith smiled weakly when Teddy entered the room.
"Hey you. Just wanted to see if everything´s alright." she said and smiling and Henry´s eyes immediately sparkled when he saw her.
"Yeah..sure..I´m..I´m in good hands." he looked at Meredith who replied the smile. "You wanna spend some time with me?..Us?" he stuttered nervously.
"No sorry I have a date tonight...See you tomorrow." she waved him goodbye before going back to the locker room and changing into normal clothes and going out with the doctor she met.
"Maybe we both should say what we feel." Meredith meant after finishing the examination and watching Henry who sighed and nodded playing with his hands.
"Good night." she said leaving the room.
"Good night." Henry whispered sadly.
We have to overcome our fears.
We have to accept things as they are and cope with them.
But still be there for the patients.
Mister Clarington sat in his bed dealing with the pain while his wife was getting a coffee, when he saw the daughter of Teddy´s patient sitting on a bench and crying.
"Hey you." he called her and she looked up at him. "Yes you. You´re the girl from the emergency room. The Mexican. What´s wrong?" he asked and the crying girl came closer to the door.
"My dad...he...he died." she sobbed.
"I..I´m sorry." the old man showed his respect.
"Thank you." she whispered huskily. For a moment it was completely silent when a deep breath from the girl stopped it.
"I should go now...call my aunt. Thanks for listening though. And I hope you get better soon. You seem very nice." she said and he nodded biting on his lip nervously while she left. A few minutes later his wife entered the room facing him how he tries to stand up.
"Hey hey! You shouldn´t move so much. Let me help you." she put the coffee on the table and helped him back into the bed.
"Please page doctor Grey and tell her...tell her that I want the surgery." he asked his wife who looked at him confused.
Being a doctor isn´t just doing a job.
It´s scary. It demands everything from you.
Your passion.
"Hey Izzie...How are you doing?" Lexie leaned against the door of Izzie´s room. "I mean I heard it from Meredith but..How are you doing?"
"Well, I don´t know." Izzie replied. An awkward silence filled the air.
"We haven´t spoken in a while...a long while..." Lexie joked and Izzie smiled and looked up to her.
"Yeah...I mean of course I heard everything about you and..and Mark." Izzie explained.
"Yeah let´s not talk about this...How´s it going with you?"
"You mean besides the fact that Alex wants to suffocate me with a pillow? I guess I´m okay." Izzie said and Lexie nodded when she suddenly recognized it.
"Wait! That´s not possible! When was he here?" she asked excited.
"Um...30 minutes ago I guess why- oh god...I I remember.." she also noticed and smiled happily.
"I´ll page him." Lexie replied smiling. A few minutes later he met him at the hallway.
Your joy.
"Great idea Alex. Scream at your sick girlfriend that you want to press a pillow on her face." she acted.
"Mind your own business." he said harshly passing her when he suddenly stopped and turned around. "Wait! What did you just say? Who told you?"
"Izzie...she told me." Lexie smiled from one ear to another when Alex run into his girlfriend´s room.
"You remember?" he asked breathless.
"I do." she smiled and Alex came to her and hugged her heavily.
"I love you so much." he said and she pulled away.
"I love you too. But I think you owe me an apologize for what you said." she joked.
"I really do...I´m so sorry...I...was so upset and mad and everything I...I didn´t think about it." he stuttered happily.
"It´s okay." she pulled his face to her´s and kissed him softly before hugging him again.
"I love you so much...I love you..I-" Alex repeated when suddenly her grip loosened. He pulled away and noticed that she wasn´t awake anymore and her heart flatlined.
Your willpower.
"Crash cart!" he screamed and started the revival. A few nurses entered the room. Lexie who was with Webber on the way to their patient noticed something going on and they ran to the room too.
"Karev! Stop it!" Webber ordered but Alex ignored him.
"Alex...she has a DNR. She doesn´t want you to keep her alive." Lexie tried to stop him but he didn´t.
"Paddles!" he ordered and looked at the nurse that didn´t move. "Paddles!" he said louder and the nurse looked at Webber and so did Alex.
"She´s one of your residents...you can´t just let her die!" he cried continuing the heart massage. Webber looked at the monitor, the paddles and Alex and took a deep breath.
"Screw it! Paddles!" he took over Alex´ place and put the paddles on her chest. "Charge to 200. Clear!" Izzie´s body jumped high at the electricity going through her body.
"No change. Charge to 250. Clear!" Webber tried again while Lexie ventilated her. Alex stood by the wall crying like a baby while watching Izzie´s body going up again but still not changing.
"Charge to 300. Clear!" Alex heard Webber´s voice blurred and saw that Derek entered the room.
"What happened?" he shouted.
"She just flatlined." a nurse explained and Derek took over Richard´s part.
"300 go!" he ordered and Webber sighed.
"We tried 3 times...she doesn´t respond." he explained and Lexie looked at Derek with her huge brown Bambi eyes still ventilating her.
Your life.
"300!" Derek ignored his chief and the nurses charged again. "Clear!" he shouted and Izzie´s body jumped up again. Suddenly her eyes opened and everybody exhaled relieved.
It´s hard being a doctor.
You have to give everything.
You think you learned everything in med school.
You think you know how to handle challenging moments.
A half hour passed and Alex was sent home so Izzie could get some rest. Derek sat at the couch in her room again, this time even more nervous.
"Hey." Meredith entered the room.
"Hey." Derek sighed tired.
"Lexie told me...I´m very happy you saved her." she tried to cheer him up.
"It wouldn´t have happened when I didn´t do this mistake." he explained mad at himself.
"You don´t know." she came closer and stopped behind him. A moment of silence filled the air.
"You want to come home with me?" she asked him with hopeful thoughts.
In medical way you do.
But the most challenging part of being a doctor is
handling your private life.
It´s hard being a doctor.
"I can´t..." he replied and crashed her hopes. Meredith´s hand found place on Derek´s shoulder and he shivered at her touch.
"Derek, I love you." she whispered with a shaking voice and tears in her eyes when Derek put his hand on her´s. He didn´t reply. Meredith pulled her hand away and left the room to drive home.
It´s even harder not being one.
"I love you too." Derek whispered but she was long gone.