Hey guys!

I am - again - so sorry for being so inactive school just hit me a lot the past few weeks. Also I am going on my practical training which lasts 3 months in only 4 weeks so you probably can´t expect me to upload until end of September or so. I am thankful for every single reader and for every single comment I get, I just wanted to let you know. It inspires me so much and I immediately have the will to continue writing.

Other than that enjoy the chapter with a lot of Slexie (FINALLY)

love ya

Everything has changed

We all know them. Some of us like them. Some of us hate them.

Changes.

When you need to adjust yourself to them.

When you need to turn everything upside down to keep up.

"Dear doctors thank you all for coming." Richard greeted his staff when he stepped a few steps up to have a good overview. Everybody was eager to know what it was today that their boss had to tell them. "After all the changes we´ve been through, the fusion, the quitting, and this week our change of name. But that´s not all we are going to change. Some of the management thought...that we were...well, too old-fashioned. So instead of all paper charts for each patient every doctor will now get a tablet where all the patients´ files are on." he continued while some interns were walking through the crowd giving a tablet to everyone. The younger doctors were a bit more excited than the older ones, which looked – just as Richard – skeptically. Lexie also gave the tablets out and tried to not make eye contact with either Mark or Jackson, although she already guessed Jackson didn´t come today. Suddenly she felt that she was followed by someone and glanced Mark´s figure in the corner of her eye. Lexie started walking faster, which she was glad to notice, helped and he disappeared behind her.

Change is good.

At least some people think so.

It is good. Sometimes.

A new haircut can be good.

But some changes are scary and horrifying.

"She still doesn´t answer your calls?" Cristina asked when she and Alex were sitting on a bed in the hallway, her watching him checking for any missed calls. His head shaking softly he gave her no as answer followed by a deep sorrowful sigh.
"I just can´t help but think what I did wrong. I have no idea what happened. She was fine in the morning and then in the evening she was gone." Alex tried to call her for almost two weeks and was more than just worried about her and his son´s well-being.

"I´m sure you did nothing wrong. Maybe motherhood and cancer was just too much for her." Cristina tried to give him some comfort until Meredith would arrive. All knew she wasn´t good at these things but she also knew that she couldn´t leave her friend alone right now. Alex put his hands onto his face as he leaned against the wall, his head resting there for some minutes. An exhausted groan came out of his mouth when he came back into his previous position.

"How long has it been since you slept through one night?" Cristina asked noticing the eyerings and tired, red eyes Alex had.

"Honestly? The night before she left." he looked at the Korean woman with his sad face, and all she could do as response was a soft clap on the shoulder. Like mentioned. She wasn´t good at these things.

Changing your lifestyle, because something different is trendy.

Changing your wardrobe, because things got too big or too small.

Changing partners, because your love for them is gone.

Changing. We all do it. We can´t stop it.

"Can we please talk about this?" Mark suddenly appeared behind Lexie´s ear, while she tried to log in to her account on the tablet by a nurses station.

"I don't know what you mean." she replied pressing some buttons and typing in some passwords, walking a few step further the desk to get out of Mark´s zone, but he followed her.

"You...Lex you can't avoid me for the rest of your life. I...I am the baby's father." Mark whispered harshly so no one would hear him but Lexie.

"Listen, I have no Intention of keeping you out of its life but,...why does this damn thing not work?" Lexie turned it off and on again just to realize that it still didn´t work.

"Then why are you so absent? It´s been one week." Mark was again very close to her which didn´t bother her on one hand because she liked him close but on the other hand she was disturbed because she couldn´t think clear.

"No...I...please just leave me alone." Lexie took the tablet and went away but Mark could grab her hand just in time and pulled her to his side. Closer than before. He took the tablet and and typed something in and as he handed it back to her she was logged in.

"Did you just take anything as my password?" she was a bit confused by how he did this and why she – a genius with photographic memory – couldn´t.

"Lex listen, I never stopped loving you and I know you didn't either. And I want to be apart of this and I want to have a family with you. How about we talk about all these things between us? Maybe with dinner? Tonight at 8?" Mark suggested with a smirk his hand softly touching her lower abdomen, which she quickly pushed away with an angry look.

"Fine. But just dinner between two negotiating people. I don't want any fancies or romantic vibes." she agreed eventually making Mark smile like a little kid.

"Got it." he smirked and was about to leave again when her voice held him back.

"And I want pizza. I am craving pizza." she grinned placing one hand onto where Mark´s was just a few seconds ago. After a short exchange of looks between her hand and her eyes Mark´s smile got wider.

"Fine. I'll pick you up when your shift ends." the attending replied again wanting to leave but her voice stopping her.

"No no no! We're not a couple. We drive each by our own."the intern quickly added and took the tablet, now also ready to leave.

"As you wish." Mark had the typical McSteamy smirk as he bowed a bit in front of her, which made her chuckle slightly before walking away. Both parties went into different direction with a huge smile on their faces

"Good morning Jane. I´m doctor Robbins and this is doctor Karev and we will take out this tiny little thing called your appendix, which is hurting you so badly." Arizona entered a little girl´s room with her super magic, rainbow spreading smile. Alex followed her, tired and with swollen eyes from all the crying he did the previous night. His phone was in his hand so he wouldn´t miss Izzie´s call.

"Hello doctors, Janey is totally excited to be operated today." the girl´s mother giggled and Jane made big eyes.

"Will I have a scar? A bigger one than my classmate Casey? She always brags with hers. I want to have a much cooler scar." the girl explained excited and made Arizona smile even brighter.

"Yeah you will have a little scar. But you can tell everyone that this surgery was super super complicated and it lasted 10 hours." Arizona lied and the patient´s eyes got wider when she told her how much time it´d take.

"Really?" she wanted to know and Alex scoffed.

"Well, actually it would only take about-" he wanted to tell the truth but got a hit into his rips by the attending.

"If not longer." she continued for her resident before explaining the procedure to the child and the mother.

Cristina and Meredith laid on a gurney in the hallway, chewing gum and doing nothing.

"I´m worried for Alex. He looks terrible."Cristina suddenly meant.

"Oh you are?" Meredith mocked her nodding to the fact that Cristina wasn´t good with these emotion things.

"Yes. I´m also worried for Izzie. I mean we have no idea where she is, what she´s doing, how Denny is...she may be dead by now." the Korean woman explained and earned a clap on her shoulder from her friend.
"Don´t say such things. She´s fine. She just needs some time. She will come back again." Meredith was hopeful, but also pessimistic if they will ever see her again.

"Yeah but it was so rude of her to just leave. Alex is a total mess. He almost lost her to cancer and now he really lost her to what? Her stupidity?" Cristina wondered mad and Meredith sighed.

"We´ll see. All we can do is hoping that she will answer a phone call...You have some chocolate?"

"Um...no..I have baby pretzels." Cristina replied giving Meredith the little pack of pretzels. "Your hormones driving you wild?"

"There are no hormones." Meredith explained, putting her gum into a tissue and starting eating the snack.

"But I thought-"

"Nope. I had a phantom pregnancy and got cut off my hormones. We´re just trying it without them." she interrupted her friend gulping down the pretzels as the topic got more onto her nerves.

"Mer, I´m so sorry."

"It´s okay. It´s probably better this way." they continued lying around doing nothing when suddenly Miranda came by.

"Wha-...Don´t you have patients to look after?!" she asked confused and harshly. The two residents quickly jumped off the gurney and headed into different directions leaving their snacks behind.

"Haha.." Bailey chuckled when she sat down onto the place her residents have been seconds ago. She took the pack of pretzels and started to eat them, when an intern looked at her strangely. "What? Can´t a woman take a five minute break?" she defended herself making him even more nervous than he probably was.

The hours went by and Alex and Arizona started scrubbing in for their patient´s appendectomy.

"You want to perform the surgery?" Arizona asked out of sudden catching Alex´ attention.

"Me?..Uh..yeah sure." he stuttered overwhelmed.

"I know an appendectomy is not as cool as an open heart surgery but-" Arizona started but Alex cut her off.

"Every solo-surgery is cool." he meant as a thank you whilst drying his hands with a sterile towel.

"But you must be cautious. It´s a five-year old on the table." Arizona warned him and Alex nodded quickly.

"I will. I promise." he swore and entered the o.r. to get dressed, followed by his attending.

Teddy went towards the desk in the e.r. where Owen was sitting. She was paged for a consult but her patient was fine and she was bored.

"Hey. You got some free time? We could get a little snack." she offered her friend who was working by the computer.

"I would love to, but I have no time. All these files must be downloaded on the tablets. Not having normal charts makes this all so much more work. And I am starving." he replied tired off all the changes they had to make in their hospital.

"Maybe I can get you something? A pack of chips or something to drink?" she suggested smiling and Owen sighed relieved.

"That would be so nice of you.." he meant, downloading files on another tablet which turned out to be Richard Webber´s. Teddy could catch a glance of the patient´s name and froze for a second.

"Why is Henry in the e.r.?" she asked seriously and Owen looked down also noticing it and remembering when he came in.

"Right he was brought in with severe pain in his abdomen. Webber took over." he explained and Teddy´s eyes turned furious.

"Why didn´t anyone tell me? I am his wife!" she asked harshly really trying not to scream.

"On paper. I didn´t know you´d care. He´s in 1." he meant pointing on trauma room one to which Teddy immediately headed.

"Henry!" she worried when she faced him convulsed in pain and a nurse giving him some pain killers, while Webber tried to find out what was wrong by touching his abdomen in four quarters. Henry put down the air mask to talk to Teddy but groaned in pain when the chief of surgery pressed onto the place his pancreas was. Teddy instinctively grabbed his hand to support him and Henry pressed hers like he would give birth.

"We need to do an MRI." Webber explained and the staff started to make his gurney ready to go.

"I´m coming with you." Teddy promised feeling bad for him. "I won´t leave your side."

"Give him more morphine so he can lay still." Webber ordered and so they did.

A few minutes later Henry laid on the gurney of the MRI machine, drugged and holding his legal wife´s hand.

"You are so, so pretty." he meant not being himself in that moment.

"Okay Henry, you are high right now. And you will take a little ride into this machine and then we will know what´s wrong with you." Teddy giggled. She knew she couldn´t take him serious but it was still funny and complimenting.

"I´ve tried to tell you so long..." Henry started when the gurney moved in to the machine and his hand let go of hers.

"Tell me what?" Teddy asked loudly but chuckling into the machine while a nurse told her to leave the room.

"That I love you." Henry chuckled inside this space ship – look a like thing which was fascinating him on so many levels. Teddy stared at him, not knowing what to say. She was shocked still she felt a tickling inside her body which she didn´t in a very long time.

"You´re doing great Alex. Now all you have to do is-" Arizona looked through the opened body but Alex cut her off.

"Suturing the colon and being careful so it won´t tear." he finished for her making her smile proudly under her surgical mask.

"Correct." she agreed to his plan and continued watching his hands work when they suddenly heard his phone rang. Alex turned around to the nurse that looked at the number hoping for his fiancé.

"It says anonymous." she meant and Alex whispered something about `that must be Izzie` to himself.

"Alex? Please concentrate on the girl." Arizona tried to get his attention back but he looked at the nurse that was holding his phone which still rang.

"Alex!" Arizona repeated now louder. "Shannon please turn off doctor Karev´s phone." she meant when in this second it stopped ringing and Alex´ eyes teared up.

"I don´t know what could be more important than this right now, but are you able to continue?" the attending asked unsure about his condition. But he couldn´t talk. He felt an unbearable pain in his chest and couldn´t hold back the tears. He didn´t even know if it really was Izzie but he was so sure. He knew he couldn´t continue operating. The resident stepped away without saying a word. His legs felt numb and his head heavier than ever. He heard how Arizona yelled his name but he could only hear her blurred. Putting off his gloves and mask and coat he left the o.r. after taking his pager and phone and went straight to his car.

"So..." Mark started not knowing what to say.

"So..." Lexie replied staring onto the table not knowing what kind of date this was. The awkwardness was written all over their faces. On one hand they enjoyed spending time together especially now that there was a product of their time in Lexie´s womb, but on the other they were just really clueless about the whole situation.

"How are you doing?" Mark wanted to know sipping from his wine he desperately needed. Lexie also really wanted a sip but she couldn´t due to her pregnancy so she drank her water to clear her throat.

"Good...good...I feel like vomiting from time to time but that´s normal I guess." she giggled and made Mark smile a little. He was happy that she agreed to this date but he felt guilty. Guilty for putting her into this position with being pregnant and destroying her relationship with Jackson. Although she didn´t tell him about what happened the night before, he could sense something was off.

"And are you taking your vitamins?" Mark asked looking through the menu and so did Lexie.

"Yes. I stole some free samples from the storage room after I found out about...it. But I will make an appointment with my ob soon and then we can talk about all this." she replied hopeful he wouldn´t ask to come with her.

"You should go to Arizona. She´s the best." Mark looked up and stared directly into Lexie´s eyes who raised an eyebrow.

"You mean the lesbian girlfriend of your other baby´s mother? I think I´m good without it." she answered monotone and looked into her card again, causing Mark to sigh and reach for her hand.

"Look, I know this whole situation is complicated and I know apologizing again for what I did back then won´t help." he started catching her gaze again. "But I want this. I really want this with you. And I want to be a part of this and I hope you can look over the fact that another woman is pregnant too. I´ve always wanted a big family and now I can have one. I can have one with you." he smiled comforting and Lexie couldn´t help but reply the smile. She still wasn´t so sure what to do but she knew Mark would be a great father. No matter if it was for both babies or just Callie´s.

Alex was sitting on the couch in Meredith´s house he was crashing on the past few nights. He stared at his phone and the message that he had a voice mail he didn´t listen to yet. Suddenly Derek and Meredith entered the house talking about their days when they noticed Alex sitting there like a piece of crap. The woman immediately noticed something was wrong and gave Derek a look to go upstairs and leave them alone which he did.

"You okay?" she asked and kneeled down in front ho him.

"Izzie called me back. She left a voice mail." he meant and both their eyes went down to his phone.

"Did you listen to it? What did she say? Did you call her back?" Meredith asked and sat down next to him on the couch.

"No..no I didn´t. I...I was too afraid."

"You want me to get some Tequila?" Meredith asked and Alex nodded.

"How are you feeling?" Teddy leaned against the door to Henry´s room where he opened his eyes still a bit foggy from the drugs and anesthetics he got.

"Okay...I guess." he replied trying to sit up but stopped when he felt some pain in his stomach.

"You´re lucky they didn´t open you up. You can ease your pain by taking these meds." she meant putting a little orange tube on the table at the end of his bed.

"Teddy, I´m sorry. For...for what I said." Henry started after they were silent for a minute. "Webber told me I said a lot of crap while being drugged. Apparently I made a compliment to his hair...which he doesn´t have." he continued giggling. "So I´m sorry, if I said anything inappropriate to you."

"Well, you told me you´d love me." Teddy smiled and Henry shut his eyes close.

"Oh no did I? I am so sorry. I know you can´t have a relationship with patients and that this may be highly inappropriate-" Henry tried to explain but Teddy just smiled and sat down on his bed cutting him off by taking his hand.

"No. It was highly inappropriate to marry you just for the insurance." she explained and Henry looked down, awaiting her to say that she doesn´t feel the same way. "But you are my husband and I am your wife."

"But just on paper." Henry added, his voice quiet and sad.

"Henry, I felt something weird, when you told me your feelings for me. I haven´t felt this in a very long time." shocked by Teddy´s words, Henry looked up and looked straight into her eyes. "You are my husband and I think I just never realized that I´m falling in love with you." she added before leaning in to kiss him. A sensation of feelings ran through their veins and chills down their spines. It was a soft almost unrecognizable kiss but it was there. And with it all the things both where hiding for so long.

Changes can be spreading hope. They can be terrifying.

They can be the worst or the best thing that has ever happened.

But no matter how odd or scary something seems.

You never have to go through it alone.

After their date Lexie drove to the hospital hoping for someone special. She went to the pediatric wing just to find out that the shift of the person she was looking for ended a few minutes ago. Hopeful, she went to the attending´s locker room and knocked three times before opening the door.

"Doctor Grey? What can I do for you?" the attending asked surprised about Lexie´s appearance.

"Doctor Robbins. I know your shift ended but I was wondering if you could give me an ultra-sound and discuss my options. I´m 9 weeks along." Lexie told her the jaw-dropping news.

"You mean you´re-" Arizona started but stopped when Lexie nodded. "Okay let´s look for a quiet, hidden room to do the ultra sound. Come with me." Arizona meant and held out her hand which Lexie took thankfully and let out a sigh and with it a tear rolled down her face.

You will always have people that care for you and help you.

That take your hand when you need it the most.

A change can be a dark cloud over your head.

But if you know the right people they can turn everything positive.

Or at least less painful.

Meredith and Alex drank a few shots of Tequila as courage boost before he pressed onto the button to listen to the voice mail and put it on speaker.

"Hey Alex, it´s me Izzie. I´m sorry I´m reaching out only now. I´m sorry I didn´t answer any of your or the other´s calls. I needed some space. I want you to know that I´m fine. I´m feeling good. Denny´s good too. He´s eating a lot. Probably has this after you." the sound of her voice and the soft grumbling of his son made Alex tear up and even Meredith´s comforting hand on his shoulder couldn´t stop his tears from streaming down his face. Her voice cracked and sounded tearful as well but Alex tried to concentrate on what she said and not how. "Anyway. I owe you an apology. I shouldn´t have left you just like that. But I want you to move on. I want you to be happy and find love again because...I´m probably not coming back. i´m surely not coming back. I will arrange meetings for you and Denny, once he´s older but...please...you don´t have to understand but please respect my decision. Don´t call me again or I will change my phone number. I love you Alex, I always will. But please. Let go. Goodbye." and then there was the never ending tone of her hanging up. They both couldn´t believe what they just heard. Alex was crying out loud now and Meredith had some tears in her eyes as well. They got interrupted by Lexie entering the house. A quick exchange of looks between the sisters, Meredith´s eyes told her to just go into her room, which she was glad to do so.

To change can be difficult.

You have to adapt your life to the changes.

You have to think differently and try to let go of the old.

A change can be good. It can shine on things with a new light.

It can be the best...

Lexie was lying in her bed in a cold atmosphere. The other side of the bed was empty. It's been one week since she found out about the pregnancy and hasn't told anyone beside Mark and Arizona yet. Well, theoretically. It was late at night and she had to get up early for her work, but couldn't fall asleep by any means. The situation that occurred one week ago after telling Mark kept her awake

„Jackson what...what are you doing?" Lexie asked when she entered her room and saw Jackson packing his belongings. After telling Mark about his child growing in her uterus he drove her home in complete silence. All she wanted was to find some rest but Jackson was driven by anger and eager to leave the house.

"Jackson please talk to me. What is wrong?" She came closer grabbing his hand which he pulled away immediately.

"You know I thought you were different. After all you have experienced." He risked to look her in her swollen and red eyes, his not less tearful.

"What do you mean? I don't know what you are talking about!" She was confused and clueless by his actions and her eyes started to well up again.

"To cheat on me! I thought you weren't like my previous girlfriends but you are!" Jackson yelled at her. He didn't care if Meredith or Derek heard him. He was angry and needed to let it out.

"What I...I never cheated on you! I would never do that!" Lexie was mad at his statement. "Jackson you know me. I am not that type of girl." She again made a step closer to him but he stepped back glancing at her with anger filled tears in his eyes.

"Then how can you be pregnant? How can you be pregnant without us having sex ONCE?!" He screamed and hit on the suitcase with his palm.

"Jackson I didn't cheat on you I promise. I...I don't want to tell the whole story but trust me I didn't cheat on you." She tried to stay as calm as possible but her feelings overwhelmed her.

"So why can't I believe you?" He meant, his voice now more quiet but firm and harsh.

"Jackson please...you have to believe me. I obviously was pregnant before we started dating. Jackson I swear to you I never cheated on you. I really l-...like you." Lexie tried to convince him to stay but his mind didn't change.

"But you still love Mark." He simply answered, taking the suitcase and leaving the room.

"Jackson. Jackson!" Lexie tried to hold him back and ran after him. "Jackson!" She called him one last time with a shaking voice before he closed the door behind him and was gone.

"Lexie?" Meredith looked out of her room just to face her crying sister who stormed into her room.

"Lexie?" Meredith knocked at her door and came in to face her sister slowly sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Mer, I gotta tell you something."

...or the worst.