03/01/19: Minor changes
Chapter 2: Departures
Candle lights flickered against the stone walls as a restless body tossed and turned in bed.
"Oh? Are you awake?"
Sasuke was in a cold sweat as he opened his eyes.
"K-Kabuto?" The lights started coming on in the back of his mind. "Where's Naruto!?"
"Naruto? You left Naruto in the dust a couple weeks ago, along with the other leaf ninja, remember?"
"What are you ta-" Sasuke stopped himself as he closely examined the room around him. Stone walls. Candles. Kabuto's normal appearance. Overall slithery vibe from the room. Strange.
"What happened to me?"
"I hate to admit it, but I'm not sure. You were training with Lord Orochimaru and then you just collapsed. You've been out for a few days and I've been monitoring your condition, but I just can't make sense of it. Everything about you seems normal except for one thing that has us concerned. You've lost your curse mark. It's just…gone."
Sasuke reached to feel the back of his neck. "I see." Well I'll be damned. Sasuke turned his legs off the side of the bed and began stretching his arms and back. His tight muscles screamed in joy after the prolonged lack of use.
"Kabuto, I need to speak with Orochimaru" he spoke confidently.
Kabuto found it to be an odd request since Sasuke doesn't usually 'speak with' people, nor would he ask Kabuto to escort him anywhere. "…Alright, I'll take you to him. Follow me."
Sasuke hopped off the bed, threw on his standard white robe, and followed Kabuto out the door. The outside hallway looked virtually the same as his room, save for its seemingly unending pathways. He had almost forgotten how dreary Orochimaru's hideouts were.
After walking for what felt like an hour, the pair approached closed wooden double doors.
"Kabuto, are we there yet?" Sasuke spoke with a hint of bad attitude.
Kabuto rolled his eyes and brought his fist to the door. Knock knock. "Lord Orochimaru, may we come in?"
"'We?' Yes, come in."
Kabuto pushed open the doors and Sasukes's eyes fell on the poor, bedridden Orochimaru. His sheets were soaked with sweat and his face was paler than usual.
"You look like shit, Orochimaru."
Kabuto angrily stared at Sasuke. How dare he insult snake daddy!
"Ahh, Sasuke. Courteous as always. Care to explain what happened to your curse mark? Do you even know?" Even though Orochimaru gave off a carefree attitude, he was very nervous something was amiss with his would be vessel.
"Not really. I've come to tell you that you don't have to worry about killing Itachi anymore."
"What are you saying? You mean to tell me you've forgiven that fu- "
"And I'm leaving for the leaf village."
Orochimaru burst into a coughing fit, hacking up blood mixed with other bodily fluids.
Kabuto rushed to his side presenting a glass of water like a student giving their teacher an apple. "Lord Orochimaru, please- "
He smacked the glass of water away, shattering it against the floor. "Get that shit out of my face!"
Kabuto cried internally as he slowly backed away from his enraged master.
"Sasuke…what is the meaning of this?"
"Things have changed. I no longer require your training. You'll have to find another host. And I have unfinished business to settle."
"…And if I deny this expedition of yours?"
Sasuke's expression towards Orochimaru shifted to a darker one as he closed his eye lids for a moment and reopened them with the Mangekyou Sharingan in his right eye, and the Rinne Sharingan in his left.
"Then you'll lose more than just an Uchiha host…you'll lose your life." I'm so fucking cool.
"What!? Those eyes...How is that possible!?"
"Who knows? But there are more important things than jutsu and Uchias. Which is why I must move on. I suggest you do the same. Till next time." I guess I could make a few pit stops before I get there.
"Move on? That's rich coming from you, Uchiha bra- "
Sasuke's left eye widened, and then he disappeared instantly before Orochimaru could finish his sentence.
Kabuto and Orochimaru quizzically stared at the empty space Sasuke left behind.
"What kind of meds did you give him, you imbecile?"
"You're absolutely out of your skull, man. You really believe it?"
"I completely agree. You may be handicapped, but this is truly pushing the limits of your autism."
"Now come on guys, let us hear him out with an open mind. I for one think this could rather exciting!"
"I'm not even gonna ask, Lee. But I swear to you guys, my nose doesn't lie."
A low growl could be heard by all sitting at the table. "Foood."
A waiter swiftly approached the young men's table. "Hey, sorry for the wait! So, what can I get for you fellas?"
"OH BOY! I'll have chicken, spicy beef, marinated short rib, beef brisket, garlic shrimp- "
"Choji! Vegetables!"
"…and edamame please!"
"Alright, how about you?"
"Uuuh, just spicy chicken for me."
"I'll have mixed vegetables thank you."
"And for you guys?"
"I'll have filet mignon and spicy tuna hell yeah!"
"I will order exactly what Choji has ordered, and if I cannot eat it all, I will discretely follow Naruto while walking on my hands for 100 miles!"
"…Alrighty then, the food will be out shortly."
"Really Lee, 'discretely follow?' I think you mean stalk."
"No, Neji! I would never do that! You have my word!" Lee had a large, genuine grin and presented Neji with a thumbs up, to which Neji scoffed.
"As I was saying, there is no doubt in my mind he is a she."
"Preposterous. It's absurd!"
"Now just think for a second. Is it not possible that this is some elaborate prank? I mean Naruto's made a fool out you before, Kiba. Not to mention you as well Neji."
Neji turned his head away pretending he didn't hear the comment.
"Can you describe the encounter in further detail? Maybe give Neji and Shikamaru something to chew on?"
"Sure. Well you see, he was kinda dressed like a slut to be honest. I didn't even know it was him till I took a whiff! But if you don't believe I know sex by smell, then believe this: The clothes he was wearing were without a doubt real. I could still smell the stores they came from. How do you explain that?"
"Idiot. Obviously, all part of the façade."
A waiter and waitress approached the table, each carrying two platters of raw meats. "Here's your food guys, enjoy!"
"ABOUT TIME, TURN UP THE HEAT." Choji turned the grill's heat on max and began placing the mixed meats on the grill evenly spaced, and with inhuman precision and speed.
"C'mon Choji, save some room for the rest of us!"
Rock Lee scanned the platters in horror. "We ordered THIS much food?"
"Well Neji, it most definitely was not a façade." Kiba had small smirk on his face, much to the Hyuga's displeasure.
"And why is that?"
"Because when I called HER out on it, she became all fussy and told me she was gonna find a way to 'fix it.' Hmm…I think she said something else, but I can't remember."
"Are you for real!?"
"Amazing."
"Mmph…food so good."
"Nonsense! There must be a logical explanation!"
"What a drag. Well I'm convinced. Neji, do you think your Byakugan could tell for sure?"
"Well of course it could! What do you take me for, some mutt!?" Neji gestured with his arm, knocking off a piece of marinated short rib from the table. Shikamaru's eyes widened in fear.
Time stopped as Choji disappeared from his place between Neji and Shikamaru, reappearing in a crouched position on the side of the table, said marinated short rib caught between his chopsticks. He then began to slowly stand up with a fowl look on his face.
Neji recoiled in shock, followed by fear. "Ugh! Choji I- "
"Now listen here, Hyuga fuck boy. I want you to take your ass, along with all your doubts on the subject of Naruto's sex change, which we all respect and support her for in these trying times, and get the hell out there to see for yourself before a different piece of severed meat is between these chopsticks."
Neji remained in his seat, speechless.
Kiba raised his glass in the air. "Cheers Choji, I'll drink to that."
"I'm afraid you are underage, Kiba. But I will toast with you anyway!"
"That's never stopped you, Lee." Neji muttered under his breath.
Feeling the conversation resume amongst the others, Choji felt it was time to reach out to his best friend. "Shikamaru?"
"Uuh yeah Choji?"
"I'm ready. Let's grab Ino and finish this."
Knock knock.
"Naruto? It's Sakura, c'mon we gotta go. Lady Tsunade has sum- "
The shoddy apartment door opened slowly, revealing a certain drowsy, busty blonde with two long twin tails in the doorway, wearing only a bra and panties.
NARUTO HAS A GIRL OVER!? WHAT!? "Oh! Umm hi, I'm looking for Naruto. Is he in there?" That fucker better have a good explanation.
"Wha- Sakura? What is it, what's going on?" she said with little enthusiasm.
"Wait. Naruto?"
"Yeah?"
"NARUTOO!"
Oh shit whoops "Heyy Sakura, right I forgot sorry, listen I- "
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?" Sakura wound up for a punch, only planning on using about two percent max power.
"No wait Sakura please! There's a perfectly reasonable- "
Sakura's fist connected with Naruto's gut, blasting him straight down the hall and into the nearest wall. "IDIOT!"
She walked towards his corpse like body, expecting the jutsu to have been released. "What the?" Instead Sakura found her foaming from the mouth, and still very female. "That's weird…maybe I didn't hit hard enough." Sakura wound back her right foot, intending to connect it with Naruto's head.
"Sakura, stop!"
She turned to look towards the doorway, finding Naruto's wood-be savior. "Hmm? Yamato? What are you doing here?"
So sadistic... "I knew this would happen. Sakura listen to me, Naruto's not using sexy jutsu or trying to prank you in any way."
Could he have made a clone transform into Yamato too? Only one way to find out.
"And I'm not a Naruto clone. Just calm down and help me get her dressed. Lady Tsunade will explain the rest."
Well I guess it can't be a clone. The real Naruto doesn't know how rhyme; he couldn't even do it on accident. "Well alright."
Yamato and Sakura entered the Hokage's office, holding Naruto up by the shoulders between them.
"There you three are, what took you so long?" Tsunade closely looked over her goddaughter, proud of Naruto's new look that she was happy to take all the credit for, and then noticed Naruto's half-conscious look on her face. Immediately Tsunade glared at her prodigy. "What did YOU do?"
"M-my lady, Naruto is obviously trying to pull the wool over your eyes. I just- "
"You JUST attacked an innocent GIRL. I conducted a complete medical exam on Naruto. The form before you is real, and here to stay."
Naruto was slowly coming back to reality, taking in the intense conversation happening in front of her.
"I-I-but how?" Sakura was more concerned with her Master's displeasure than the subject at hand.
"We don't know how. But nevertheless, I expect you to support and respect your teammate as you have always done. In fact, no, MORE than you have always done since all you have done is whine and burden those around you. You have become strong and mature enough to handle it, and I have faith that you will. The price you pay if you do not is…" Tsunade stealthily used a transformation jutsu on the sake bottle under her desk, pulling out a bloody decapitated head of Ebisu and holding it by the hair. "I take your fucking head. Just like this fucker here!" That oughtta scare her straight.
Everyone in the room could see through the simple deception, save for Sakura who was stricken with shock. She knew her sensei probably did some bad shit, but this confirmed it.
Sai remained just outside the office, keeping tabs on the conversation and peered in to see Tsunade holding a head with no body attached. It would seem Danzo was right to be concerned. He held no visible reaction but was taking a mental note that this might be something to report to the authorities. Although, Danzo is the highest authority so he would be most suitable, yes.
Yamato was looking downward, a wide smile on his face, feeling the small extent of joy his funny bone would grant. Naruto on the other hand, had tears of joy streaming down her face, an inch away from bursting out laughing. She was never prouder of granny than in this moment. Oh kami. Oh fuck, oh fuck. I can't. Sakura's gonna know. Naruto used every source of will power at her disposal to keep her composure, and her head low. Her eyes even started to retain Kurama's pattern from syphoning his chakara.
Sakura was trembling and struggling to hold back tears. All those times she relied on Naruto to save her weighed heavily on her mind. She gazed at poor Naruto: lost his manhood and then gets attacked by his teammate. She looked over Naruto's depressed, sunken figure and spotted the tears running down Naruto's face. Oh no, Naruto. Then she gazed down at Naruto's chest, immediately comparing it to her own, and almost renounced her sympathy. Goddammit.
Tsunade put away the mock severed head back in her desk and a small, muffled poof could be barely heard which Naruto found just as hilarious. "Now, Naruto, are you with us?"
She took a long and deep breath, trying to clear all signs of any positive emotion. "Y-yeah granny, sorry…still a bit sleepy."
Sai casually entered the room. "Ah Hokage, sorry I'm late, what's going on?"
"Good, Sai here has already had your physical situation explained to him, Naruto. And he is…in full support."
"Hey, Dickless. Guess my nickname for you really does suit you. In fact, one could say it was meant to be" Sai said while sporting his classic fake smile.
"Meh." Naruto rolled her eyes. At least the insult was true this time.
"Anyway, I've gathered the four of you for an urgent mission."
"A mission!? Oh, sweet! I can't remember the last time I had a mission!"
Sai and Sakura looked at Naruto strangely. "Uuuh, bim-brain? We just came back from a mission to rescue Sasuke, remember?"
"Oh…right. So, what's the mission?"
"You four will head out to support Kakashi and the remainder of Team Asuma. You are to leave the village now."
Kakuzu… "Roger that, granny, let's go guys."
Yamato stepped forward. "Actually, I'm still your squad leader so I say when. Thank you, Lady Tsunade. Alright team, let's head out."
Naruto stepped farther in front of Yamato. "Actually, my knowledge in these matters puts me in command. C'mon guys, team Naruto out!"
Tsunade settled the dispute. "Naruto leads this time, sorry Yamato."
"Hell yeah! Better luck next time, wood man."
"At least I have wood…"
"Hey! I'm demoting you to footstool from now- "
Tsunade stood up, slamming her desk in the process, leaving slight cracked depressions in the wood surface. "If the four of you don't leave now, I'm throwing you out the window!"
Konoha's main gate stood tall in the morning light as one determined ninja, and three not-so-determined ninja approached. The guards were either too lazy or too tired to re-examine the squadron. Striking blonde hair flowing in the wind was enough to give them an idea, despite it being in the form of two long twin tails. The squadron came together for a pre-mission conference.
"Ok guys, so you all understand the plan, right?"
Multiple and overlapping confused groans could be heard in response.
"Um, dickless? You haven't told us any plan. You just kept talking about how much you need Ramen the whole way here."
Naruto let out a sigh, shaking her head. "Ok, ok. Sorry, I thought it would be obvious and implied, but I guess I gotta spell it out for ya." She knew her teammates weren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but this was unacceptable.
Sai interjected. "Naruto, your ramen dilemma didn't imply anything other than the fact that you are overly fixated with ramen. Do you even know what 'implied' means? I guess half of your brain went to your breasts. That volume certainly didn't come from your di-"
"Hey! You better choose your words carefully! There are…ladies present." Naruto spoke as femininely as she could, experimentally trying to use her predicament to her advantage, but ultimately failing as Sakura could see right through her shit eating grin.
"You're the only damn lady here, Naruto." Sakura stopped to recompose herself, remembering what Lady Tsunade had told her.
"So, you really are a man then Sakura? I always wondered why you were so flat." Sai held no regard for the potential consequences of his words.
Naruto slowly turned towards her pink haired teammate. "Yeah Sakura, I think a lady would watch her fucking language, no?"
Yamato's patience was at his limit. It seemed not much had changed since their last mission, which ultimately failed. Complete children. "Naruto! The plan already!"
Naruto felt extremely inconvenienced to have to explain. "Fine. We're going to support Kakashi and Team Asuma in order to take down two dangerous Akatsuki members. But the only person who will actually need support when we get there will be Kakashi sensei. We're fighting an enemy who literally steals people's hearts. So, I want you three to pull Kakashi out of the fight and join Ino and Choji on the sidelines. Heal em' up, stay far back, and watch while I use my super awesome cool jutsu to finish off the Akatsuki member, 'kay? Any questions?"
Sakura was the first to speak up. "Wait wait wait wait. Now I have multiple concerns about this 'plan' of yours. But more important than anything else, where is Shikamaru during all this? His skills should be invaluable! Is he just going to sit on the sidelines as well?"
"Oh, Shikamaru? He'll be busy facing the other Akatsuki member on his own. He won't need us." She expressed her disinterest with a slight shrug.
Yamato began to panic. "What!? Naruto, you mean to let one of your comrades face an Akatuski on his own!? Have you completely lost your mind!?"
Sai kept his composure and had the bright idea to ask the right question. "Naruto, how do you know all this? I know you've dealt with them before but listen, I- "
"No, YOU listen. Lady Tsunade left me in charge of the squad, and for good reason. I know 'all this' well…because. Trust me. And if you guys try to help out, you might just explode."
Naruto peered over Sai's shoulder towards the village as she could have sworn she saw a strange green figure in the distance. Must've been my imagination.
Author's note:
Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the second chapter. Thanks for all the favs, follows and comments on the first one! Just wanted to say that only after I had finished most of this chapter did I start to think maybe I need more narrative in the writing overall to balance out the dialogue. What do you think? This is still very much an experimental learning experience for me, so any comments, concerns, and criticisms will be much appreciated! Till next time.