For those of you who didn't read Fertility Rite, don't worry: the bassics will be covered, if not the details.
Gods is writing Witch's unusual speech pattern hard work...
Married Life
Chapter Eleven: Friends Like These
"And draw." High Elf Archer's voice carried across the courtyard behind the Guild Hall, "Mark your target. And... Lose!"
The sound of several arrows hitting their targets was drowned out by the crash of breaking glass and the screach of a startled cat. This was followed by excited shouting from inside the Guild Hall as High Elf Archer pinched her nose and closed her eyes.
"Ok, which one of you greenhorns did that" she looked down the line of trainee Adventurers, examining their expressions until she found the guilt party, "Dwarf Scout, front and center!"
A worried looking dwarf stumbled forwards, dropping his bow as he struggled to respond to her order.
"Dwarf Scout, I've seen you cleav a target in two with a throwing axe." The Ranger stood before him, "I know that a bow is a completely different weapon, but there have to be at least a few skills that pass over?"
The younger Adventurer started to make an excuse, but High Elf Archer held up a finger to silence him. He looked at her with fear in his eyes, expecting her to unleash a tirade of insults and verbal abuse, but then he noticed the unmistakable green tinge on her face. Clasping both hands over her mouth, the Elf sprinted for the corner of the training area and heaved, brining up her last meal before retching loudly.
"I think that's... enough... for today." Witch sauntered over to the shocked students, "Why don't you... go... hit the weights? You need upper body strength... to pull a bowstring... right?"
The trainees scattered, several talking under their breath, and Witch made sure not to hear anything she'd have to act upon as she walked over to where her friend was leaning against the wall, retching.
It had been three months since her visit to Water Town. Three months since Sword Maiden had performed the Fertility Rite that had finally allowed her to fall pregnant with Goblin Slayers child. Three months since Guild Girl had forbidden her wife from undertaking any Quests, relegating her to a teaching position at the Guild Hall, passing on her knowledge of the bow to Porcelain and Obsidian ranked Adventurers. Witch knew these things because she'd joined the afternoon games group that Guild Girl and Padfoot Waitress had started, and it was a universal constant that, when a group of women got together, they talked. She felt sure that there was something that the free wives weren't saying, something dark and possibly scandalous, which drove her a little crazy for want of knowing.
But it was perhaps for the best that she didn't: knowing that there were secrets still out there made life worth living.
But with High Elf Archer benched for the duration of her pregnancy, it did mean that her party was short a member. Witch and Spearman were often willing to step up, providing the job sounded interesting; their share of the money they got for selling the battle axe they'd found in the labyrinth they'd been hired to map had not gone unnoticed. But Goblin Slayer had found a request to deal with a nest of goblins that were raiding farms in a nearby valley, and had elected to take Rookie Warrior and Apprentice Cleric with them. The pair of Porcelain ranked Adventurers were shaping up nicely, in Witch's opinion, and some time under the tutelage of a couple of Silvers were probably do them good.
It had meant that Goblin Slayer hadn't been at the Guild the day before, which was probably for the best. A trio of Emerald ranked Adventurers from a large party that was passing through had overhead Cow Girls name being mentioned, and one had joked about how fitting it was, pointing towards her already impressive chest that was only growing as her own pregnancy progressed. Unfortunately for them, Female Knight had overheard their vulgar jokes, and had invited them to apologise to her friend.
They had refused.
In Witch's opinion, Female Knight could have beaten the three of them into near unconsciousness in at least half the time she took, but it was clear that the aspiring Paladin had been enjoying herself as she threw them bodily out of the Guild Hall and into the street.
Unfortunately they did not learn their lesson, and had returned later that same day with the rest of their party, a dozen in total, led by a bull-necked man with a Ruby guild tag and a quarterstaff. They'd stood in the street, demanding that Female Knight came out to "face justice" for her actions that morning. They'd probably thought that their numbers would be sufficient to cower her and force her to humiliate herself by begging for forgiveness. They certainly hadn't expected her to stride out into the street with Hevy Warrior and Spearman at her back, the two men grinning like idiots as they cracked their knuckles in anticipation.
Witch had watched what the Town Watch were still officially calling a 'sparing match gotten out of hand' from just inside the door, ready to intervene had one of the travailing Adventurers tried anything cute, like say, pull a hidden dagger. Once the dust had settled, Guild Master had come out and informed the loosers that they were no longer welcome at his Hall, and any further trouble could result in loss of rank or even sterner penalties. That apparently got through their thick heads, and they had quickly and quietly packed their bags and hit the road. Then they'd gotten down to the difficult task of deciding how to tell Goblin Slayer, and more importantly who had to do it.
High Elf Archer stopped her dry heaving and pulled a handkerchief from one pocket, using it to wipe her mouth clean. Witch pulled a flask of water from her belt and silently offered it to her friend. The Ranger took it and used half the wash the bitter, acrid taste out of her mouth, then downed the rest to replace some of the fluids she'd lost.
"Thank you. I thought I had it under control, but sometimes it catches me unawares." she handed the empty bottle back, "I think it has something to do with the baby being half-human: elvish pregnancies are normally far less troublesome."
"Something to consider." Witch smiled slyly, "Next time... I mean."
"Yeah, 'next time'." High Elf Archer sounded unusually dismissive, but Witch decided that, for once, digression was indeed the better part of valor, and didn't pry.
"You are looking more... buxom, though... even at just three months." She commented after a moment, nodding towards her friends noticeably enhanced chest, "I don't think I've heard... Dwarf Shaman... call you 'Anvil' all week."
"No, apparently I'm now some hideous monster from Dwarfan folklore." The Ranger sat on a nearby crate, "I won't try to pronounce its name: even he has trouble with it."
"Interesting." Witch sat next to the other woman, wishing she could light her pipe, but Priestess had already given her a dressing down over the potentially harmful affects tobacco smoke could have on an unborn child back when Guild Girl had first gotten pregnant. In many ways, her unwillingness to give up smoking just yet was why she was still drinking Moon Tea every morning. "Not sure if... promotion, or... not."
"He's just be affectionate, in his own way." High Elf Archer managed a faint smile, "If you had told me, just a few years ago, that one of my closest friends would be a Dwarf, I would have called you crazy."
"Life is...strange." The spell-caster agreed, "You can find love and... companionship... in the most unusual places."
"Speaking of, when are you going to make an honest man out of Spearman? Not that I think anything short of divine intervention could truly make him honest."
"It's... Complicated. Need to find... right time."
"Trust me: even when you're immortal, when it comes to love, now is always the right time."
"No, need to... wait a little." Witch looked at her friend and grinned, "You need to be able to... fit into bridesmaids dress."
"So about another eight months or so?" High Elf Archer giggled, rubbing the almost invisible bump that indicated the literal miracle of life that was growing inside her, "Morning sickness may be a pain, but I'm still a Elf: we bounce back quickly."
"I will hold you... to that." Witch stood and held out a hand, "Game time."
High Elf Archer smiled as she took the offered assistance to stand, and the pair made their way back through the Guild Hall to the attached Tavern.
Guild Girl was already setting up the table with the assistance of Padfoot Waitress. Even six months into her pregnancy, she somehow never seemed to run out of energy, even if she had been forced to take a leave of absence from her job at the Guild Hall, leaving Inspector in charge of the front desk. As such she was sporting a simple sundress and sandals instead of her normal uniform. Beside her sat Cow Girl, dressed in her customary dungarees and blouse, all be it far larger ones to take into account her own pregnancy. And given she was carrying twins, the redhead actually looked further along than her blond haired wife. High Elf Archer bent down between them and kisses each on on the cheek before taking her own seat between Witch and Female Knight as Padfoot Waitress poured everyone a glass of lemonade.
"Good news!" Guild Girl held up a package, "The new expansion pack arrived from the Capital today."
"Finally." Witch lent back in her chair, "Was getting old... same half dozen... quests."
"Just pick one at random and let's roll some dice!" Female Knight insisted, her normally reserved persona washed away by a wave of excitement.
"OK then." Guild Girl smiled as she pulled one of the sheets from the pack. The expression froze on her face as she looked at the piece of paper.
"What's wrong?" Cow Girl asked, concerned, "Did the baby move?"
Guild Girl silently placed the scenario sheet down on the table, and there was a collective drawing of breath.
The green haired Elf draped across the bottom of the picture was dressed, if you could call it that, in a chainmail bikin, her long green hair flowing down over her shoulder. Seated behind her was a young blond woman in what could only just be considered vestments if you took into consideration a church that worshipped Goddesses of Fertility and Love, given just how little it left to the imagination. Behind them stood a stoic Dwarfen warrior, strong arms folded across their muscular chest, and next to him, a hulking, almost feral looking Lizardmen in a leather loincloth. In the center stood warrior in full plate armour, a huge broadsword slung over one shoulder, a pair of ivory white horns adorning the sides of his helmet.
They all looked at the picture in disbelief. It was Cow Girl who found her voice first.
"Son of a bitch!"
To Be Continued...