So let's have some more fun at Goblin Slayers expense, shall we?

Married Life

Chapter Fourteen: Growing Pains

High Elf Archer stood leaning against the door of the barn and smiled.

A table had been set up in the middle, upon which were several sheets of paper covered in drawings and calculations, half a dozen cups of tea and Goblin Slayers helmet, which he had taken off to allow access to his forehead, which he was massaging thoroughly.

"I still say going up is better than going out." Heavy Swordsman sifted through the various sheets of paper until he found the one he was looking for, "There's plenty of room in the roof, and with a little bit of work, it could be opened up further."

"Spring is coming." Spearman shook his head, his arms folded across his chest, "Do you really thin it's a good idea to have the roof open when the rains come? No, going out is the best option."

"Why not both?" Cow Girls uncle took a fresh sheet of paper and started scratching, "Expand out off the scullery now, before the weather turns, then, in the summer, look into converting the roof?"

The gaggle of men soon descended into what could politely called a heated debate, if only because they'd left their weapons back at the cottage.

Word of Grace's birth had spread like wildfire around the Guild Hall, and Priestess had only been able to hold them back so long before a contingent of Adventurers and Guild employees had made the short trip out to the farm to see her for themselves. More than a few coins had changed hands, bets heaving apparently been made over everything from her gender, size and eye colour. Worryingly, Witch had made the most money, only losing out on the babies hair colour, whith Padfoot Waitress apparently being the only one to correctly guess that she'd be born bald.

But while the women in the group gathered around the newborn in the parlour, then men who'd accompanied them, or had been dragged along by their partners, had congregated in the barn, where Goblin Slayer was contemplating an extention to the cottage. Presented with something less threatening to their rugged personas, the Adventurers had quickly taken the task in hand, meaning that little to no actual work had been done, beyond sending Rookie Warrior back to the kitchen for a fresh pot of tea.

"But how far out to go?" Dwarf Shaman stroked his beard, standing on an old crate to get a better view of the plans, "If you went out as far as the barn, you'd have the starting of a courtyard, and you'd be able to get to any supplies there without having to go outside in bad weather."

"That's a fair point." Farmer amended his scetch to take the Adventurers suggestion into account, "You could knock a door in over there." he gestured over his shoulder to one corner of the barn, "Making this bit a corridor with rooms coming off on the inside. They'd be south-facing, so there'd be no loss of natural light."

"Build on two stories: living space below, bedrooms above." Heavy Swordsman nodded, "Then they'll be ready for when you convert the attic space. Put the stairs in where they meet and save even more space."

Goblin Slayer drifted away from the group unnoticed and made his way over to where his wife stood. Even with his customary stoicism, she knew him well enough to read his body language and could tell that he was out of his depth. Most of his life had been spent training for a conducting his one-man war of extermination against goblins, and it was an area where he was considered an expert, even by those who considered him to be a little odd. But it hadn't left much time in his life for socialising, for learning how to interact with other people outside of work. He had no experience of how males, regardless of their race, had a tendency to fixate on certain things almost to the point of obsession. High Elf Archer had seen it before, with her father and uncles, and her ears twitched with amusement at seing her husband thrown into the deep end, as it were.

Taking his arms in her hands, she lent up against him in a reassuring manner, offering her silent support in his hour of need. He stood riged for a moment, then lent back into her, making her smile.

The task of taking Goblin Slayer and, for want of a better word, fixing him, had been daunting at first. Even with the three of them working on him nearly round the clock, it had taken a lot of time and hard work. Just getting him to bath more regularly had been a chore until Guild Girl had discovered that bathing with him magically made him warm up to the idea. It wasn't exactly something his wives were adverse to, even if it did end with water all over the bathroom floor. Unfortunately not every problem could be solved by sex, as enjoyable as it might be, and they were still working on getting him to be more sociable and talkative. High Elf and had actually given up on that last part, long ago accepting that he was more the strong, silent type, even if she did wish he was a bit more articulate. Getting him to accept non-goblin related Quests had actually been easier than expected: as dedicated as he was to the genocide of the goblin race, even he had admitted that he didn't take any actual joy in it, but rather saw it as a job that needed doing. Once High Elf Archer had gotten him to take part in a few more traditional Quests, he had begrudgingly admitted that they were more fulfilling.

They also paid better, which with a growing family and home, money was something that they were in need of.

"Plans they have." his voice was unusually soft, "Expensive."

"We have enough saved up, and we're going to need the extra space." High Elf Archer rested her head against his shoulder, "Would help if my parents weren't being so... them."

He looked down at her.

"They apparently have quite the dowry saved up for me: given my more, free-spirited nature, they seemed to be under the impression that I would need a little... help, finding a husband." She laughed as she squeezed his arm, "Well, we sure showed them there. Unfortunately, they don't seem to consider a this to be a... and these are their words, not mine, proper marriage, so are holding onto it."

"Families." Goblin Slayer shrugged, summing up his thoughts on the subject with a single word.

"I think we have a workable plan." Farmer walkover, paper in hand, followed by the others, "Expanding out from the scullery to the barn, on two levels, will add the extra room you need." he nodded towards Heavy Swordsman, "The, later on, you can look into converting the roof space you already have into a new master bedroom."

"Would be nice to have a little extra space to work in." High Elf Archer admitted, "I know Guild Girl would like a room to paint in, and we could use a room to keep and maintain our weapons and equipment." she held up a hand, "But your more...inventive projects stay out in the shed where they belong. I'm not having you fill the house with pepper because you dropped a jar."

"Understood." Her husband nodded, "And agreed."

"Good." the Ranger stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

"I know a team of builders in town why could give you an estimate." Spearman looked unusually sheepish, scratching the back of his head while simultaneously rubbing one foot against the back of the other leg, "They're building a townhouse for Witch and me..."

"So, she finally said yes, did she." Heavy Swordsman laughed at his friends obvious discomfort, "About time: was getting worried that we'd never marry you off."

"Oh, like you and Female Knight can talk!" Came back the inevitable reply, "How long are you two going to keep pretending that you're 'just close friends'?"

This soon started a fresh argument.

High Elf Archer smiled again. It was true what the humans said: friends were the family you choose for yourself.

To Be Continued...