Author's note: Well, here it is. The one a lot of you have been waiting for. I wasn't sure how this should go, so I referred back to previous episodes to guage Donna's reaction. The Runaway Bride, when she first appeared on the TARDIS. Turn Left, when Rose told her she was the most important person in the universe. And Journey's End, when the Metacrisis Doctor looks at her shared memories.

Chapter 24

The Dinner Party

3 The Green.

Dunwich.

Hampshire.

'Do I look all right?' Donna asked her husband for the umpteenth time as she stood in front of the bedroom mirror. 'Only I want to make a good impression tonight.'

'I've told you. You look sensational,' Shaun dutifully told her. And he meant it.

She turned left and right, and then turned her back to the mirror and looked over her shoulder at her navy blue trousers and jacket, with cream blouse underneath. 'My bum doesn't look big in this trouser suit?'

Shaun snorted a laugh. 'No. You have a great arse.'

'Oi! And no sayin' "arse" in front of them either. We don't want them thinkin' we're a couple of chavs tryin' to hobnob it with the rich and famous.'

'Well we are, aren't we?' he asked her. She gave him a look which would have frozen the balls off . . . Well, let's just say it was frosty.

'D'yer think this trouser suit's too much? I mean, I know Rose said casual. But what's casual to a millionairess? Thousand pound designer jeans, top and jacket? Do you think my smart casual will be casual enough?'

'DONNA! Stop it' Shaun said sternly. He held her shoulders and looked into her eyes. 'You've met them. They are really nice people. She might be heiress to a fortune, but there's no airs or graces about her. If she says casual, she means dress so you feel comfortable.'

She sighed and her shoulders sagged. 'I'm overthinkin' it, aren't I?'

'Just a bit, yeah. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Do you remember in the village hall, they were as excited as you were about meeting each other.'

'Yeah, they were weren't they,' she said with a smile as she remembered, and then her mouth fell open. 'I asked them if it was hot in there, implyin' they were gettin' horny. Oh me an' my big gob. And then when John hugged me, I asked if he was all right, like he wasn't all there. Oh Shaun, I've ruined it. They'll never want to be friends with someone like me.'

Shaun was chuckling now. He was used to his wife's insecurities. He felt it was her most endearing characteristic. She never thought she was good enough, and yet to him, she was the best. She could hold her own in an argument, using her sharp wit and tongue. She was courageous, brave, honest, and loyal. To him, Donna was worth a dozen rich and famous celebrities

'Donna. Anyone who wouldn't want you as their friend, isn't worth knowing. Now, grab your coat and let's get going, because by the time we get there, I am going to be hungry enough to eat a horse.'

Donna held is face and kissed him lovingly on the lips. 'Thank you. You always know the right thing to say. I'd be a wreck without you.'

'Yes you would,' he agreed, and led her out of the room.

The Smith's Residence.

Northumberland Place.

Notting Hill, London.

Rose walked into the living room wearing her favourite Alexander McQueen leather skirt, a baggy white Jaeger top with large Gallifreyan script which spelt her name, and her Giuseppe Zanotti boots.

'Is this too much?' She asked her husband, who was sitting on the sofa having a cuddle with his daughter as they watched television.

'Oh Mum. You look fabulous,' Juleshka said with a smile.

'Way to go Mum,' EJ said from one of the comfy chairs.

'I think that gives you your answer,' John said. 'You look gorgeous, as always.'

'Thank you. But I don't want Donna to think I've gone to any effort. I told her casual. Is this casual enough?'

John started to laugh. 'Rose, my love. You could wear a bin bag or a thousand dollar ball gown and still be yourself. You just have that natural ability to put people at their ease.'

'Oh I hope I can put them at their ease. I SO want this evenin' to go well. I'd love for them to be our friends.'

'Rose. It's Donna. She was my best mate in the old universe. She's mad about us. She'll be our best mate in this universe,' John told her.

'Yeah, I suppose you're right. I'd better go and see how dinner's comin' along,' she said and went into the kitchen.

'Come on then kids. I'll nip you over to Grumpy's and Grandma's in the TARDIS,' John said, and they grabbed the items they wanted to take for the evening, before heading for the basement with Ricky the Cyberdog.

'Bye Mum. Have a nice evening,' they called out.

'Oh. Bye kids. Have a nice time at the Mansion. I'll see you later,' Rose called back to them before turning to Donna-the-Robot. 'So we've got a spiced aubergine dip with tortilla chips for nibbles while we relax and get to know each other.'

['Yeah, and then there's pea & chervil soup with crème fraîche for the starter,'] Donna-the-Robot told her.

'Sounds delicious. What about the main course? Did you do something with that salmon I bought?'

['Asian salmon & sweet potato bake.']

'Oh that's perfect. Well done,' Rose said with relief.

['And of course, a Banoffee Pavlova for his lordship,'] Donna-the-Robot said with a smirk on her visual display.

'You spoil him,' Rose said with a laugh.

John returned about ten minutes later and came through to the kitchen. He must have changed in their room in the TARDIS, because he was now wearing sand coloured chinos, a black, open necked shirt, and white Converse. He put his arms around his wife's waist and kissed her cheek from behind.

'Mmm. something smells nice,' he said.

Rose turned in his arms and kissed his lips. 'Yeah. It's called dinner. Here, try the dip.'

She took a tortilla chip, scooped up some of the spiced aubergine dip, and fed it to him. 'Ooh. That is VERY nice.'

Rose took a chip and tried it herself. 'Oh yeah,' she said, covering her mouth as she spoke. 'Gorgeous.'

['There's a taxi pullin' up outside,'] Donna-the-House announced.

'That's them,' Rose said urgently. 'I'll go and let them in.'

'Good idea,' John said with his cheeky smile.

Rose stuck her tongue out at him and hurried down the hallway to the front door. When she opened the door, Donna was just coming up the steps, whilst Shaun paid the cabbie. It was a cold evening, and they were both wearing their winter coats with scarves and gloves.

'Donna. How was your journey?' Rose said as they kissed left and right cheeks.

'Fine thanks. We're used to commutin' in on the train.'

'Come in. Shall I take your coat?'

Donna stepped inside and wiped her ankle high boots on the coconut mat, and handed Rose a bottle of wine.

'Oh thank you Donna.' She looked at the label. 'Pinot Noir. That will be perfect with the main course.'

Rose helped her off with her coat. 'This is a lovely coat,' Rose said politely, trying to make conversation. 'It looks nice and warm.'

'Like a piece of toast,' Donna said with a smile.

Shaun came in behind her, and Rose did the left and right cheek kiss with him. 'Hi Shaun. Here, let me take your coat.'

As Rose hung up their coats on the hooks by the door, John was coming out of the kitchen at the rear of the house with a tray of dip and tortilla chips.

'Come on in to the living room and have a warm by the fire. I've got some nibbles here to whet your appetite.'

They followed John through the first door on the right into the living room, where he put the tray on a low table. They looked around the room admiring the Victorian fireplace, and appreciating the warmth that the log fire was giving off. Donna looked up at the traditional high ceiling, with the intricate ceiling rose and cornicing.

'You have a lovely home here John,' Donna said in appreciation.

'Thank you,' Rose said as she came in behind them. 'We love it here. Please, have a seat. Make yourselves at home,' she said, indicating the sofa with a sweep of her arm.

'Can I get you a drink?' John asked. 'Beer? Wine? Cider?'

'I'll have a lager if you've got one John,' Shaun said cheerfully.

'Er, yeah. A larger will be fine thanks,' Donna said hesitantly. She was a bit overwhelmed in the presence (and the house), of her idols.

'No problem,' John said with a reassuring smile. 'Rose?'

'Yeah. Lager please Love . . . Oh, and would you take this into the kitchen,' she said, handing him the bottle of wine and taking a seat adjacent to the sofa.

'Ooh. Pinot Noir. Very nice.' He went through to the kitchen, and there was a silence in the room. Not an awkward silence, or an embarrassed one. It was more of an uncertain of what to say next silence.

'I like your outfit,' Donna said, making the first opening gambit. 'I love that skirt.'

Rose looked down at her short leather skirt. 'Really? I got it in a sale years ago at Henrick's. It's my favourite.'

'Is it Alexander McQueen?'

'Yes! It is,' Rose said enthusiastically.

'I wouldn't have thought you'd have needed to go lookin' for things in a sale?' Donna said, and then thought that might be a bit presumptuous and forward. 'Oh. I didn't mean . . .'

Rose laughed and patted her knee. 'Hey, I still like to snag a bargain. I get that from me mum.'

Donna laughed with relief. She hadn't blown it yet. 'I just thought, bein' an heiress you'd have people to do yer shoppin' for ya, and have personal shoppers an' stuff.'

'Oh James at Henrick's is my man. He's such a sweetie. It's like he can read my mind. He knows exactly what I'm looking for when I go in there,' Rose said in a semi-posh voice.

'Really?' Donna asked in amazement.

Rose kept her face straight for as long as she could and then spurted a laugh. 'Nah. Sorry, I was windin' yer up. Mum loves the personal shoppers, but I prefer to do me own shoppin'.'

Donna relaxed and laughed with her. 'You had me goin' then. Can I just say, you are just like you are on the telly. I thought that would be just for the cameras, an' then when you got home you'd be all cocktails an' dinner suits.'

Rose whooped with laughter as John entered with their drinks. 'Donna. Can I say as well; I was so nervous about tonight. I didn't know whether to wear this outfit, or to put an old pair of jeans an' a T shirt on.'

'Told you,' Shaun said.

Donna laughed with her. 'Me too. I didn't know whether casual meant casual-casual, or posh-casual.'

Rose howled with laughter. 'What the hell is posh-casual?'

'I have no idea,' Donna confessed and howled with her.

'That's the ice broken then,' John said to Shaun with a grin as he handed him his lager.

'Looks like it mate, yeah,' Shaun laughed.

Once they had started laughing, they relaxed and started proper conversations about everyday life as they helped themselves to the dip.

'I love this dip Rose. Did you make it yourself?' Donna asked.

'Well, although I do like to cook, and I'd like to say yes, the chef would kill me if I took the credit,' Rose replied.

'You have a chef?! And you said you weren't posh,' Donna said with a cheeky grin.

'No, honest. I am SO not posh. It's a robot John built for me as a birthday present. She helps around the house while we're at work, and the kids love her.'

'She. It's a she?' Shaun asked in amazement.

'Yeah. I gave it a personality to make it more friendly and acceptable,' John explained.

'Can we meet it?' Donna asked.

Ah. Elephant in the room. John and Rose looked at each other.

'Let's have dinner first, then we can tell our story, and then we'll introduce you to the house robot and computer,' John suggested.

'And talkin' of dinner, shall we go through to the dinin' room?' Rose suggested.

They left the sitting room, turned right towards the back of the house and went through the next door on the right. Once again, it had the traditional high ceilings, with intricate ceiling rose and cornice. The wall at the rear of the house had French windows which led onto the decked garden. On the same wall as the door was a serving hatch to the kitchen.

'Find yourselves somewhere to sit, and I'll go get the wine,' John said, as he detoured into the kitchen.

Donna-the-Robot was sitting on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. ['That woman looks like me.']

'Er, yes. And not just looks either,' John told her as he reached a corkscrew out of the draw.

['She's the one you modelled me on, isn't she?']

'Yes. She's this universes version of Donna Noble.'

['Bit awkward for ya . . . What with me lookin' an' soundin' like her,'] Donna-the-Robot observed. ['She's gonna think it's a bit weird, you havin' a robot likeness of her in yer house, ain't she.']

John pulled the cork out of the bottle. 'Er, yes, She will until we can explain. Look Donna, she really wants to meet you. So would you mind just hanging around here in the kitchen until we've told her the story, and then we'll introduce you as a tribute to her rather than, well . . . whatever it is she'd think you were without the explanation.'

['Obsession . . ? Sex toy?'] she said with a smirk on her digital face.

John snorted a laugh. 'Yeah. Probably.'

['I'll just plug me self in and charge for a bit then.']

'Thanks Donna,' he said quietly as he took the wine to the table. He poured them each a glass. 'Rose if I pass the soup through the hatch, could you hand it out?'

'Course Love.'

With the starter on the table, they started their meal.

'So where did you two meet then?' Rose asked as she sipped her soup.

'Majorca of all places,' Donna replied. 'My friend Nerys dragged me off on a package holiday. Y'know the sort with all the activities. Well, one day there was a scuba divin' lesson, so I thought "why not", and Shaun was there with his mates and had decided to try it as well.'

'Yeah. We were doubly fortunate to both be on holiday on Majorca, because we met each other and we missed all that business with the Cybermen,' Shaun said.

John was finishing his soup. 'What. That was 2007 when you were away?'

'Yeah,' Donna said, and then realised what had happened that day. 'Oh Rose. Your dad's place got trashed by them, didn't it? An' people died. I'm so sorry.'

Rose smiled at her. 'It was a long time ago now. All water under the bridge . . . So, you met at Majorca. What happened next?'

'Well, he told me he was an architect, an' I thought "result". I told him I was a secretary with a temping agency an' he said he was lookin' for a good secretary . . .'

'And you said, "is one hundred words a minute good enough for ya",' John said with a wiggle of his fingers and a big grin.

Donna looked at him suspiciously. 'How do yer do that . . ? Know what I'm thinking?'

'Tell you later. Please, carry on.'

'Hmm. Right. So we exchange numbers, an' I'm thinkin' that's the last I'll see of that gorgeous hunk. I mean, I'd had holiday romances before. Then I get a call from the agency wantin' to know if I wanted a long term contract with this firm of architects in the City . . .'

Shaun took up the story. 'When I'd got back to work, I had a word with the senior partner and told him I'd met this amazin' secretary who was available, and that was that. We courted for a couple of years and I realised I was nuts about her, so I proposed, and we were married a year later.'

'Oh it was dead romantic Rose. A Christmas weddin',' Donna told her.

John frowned in thought. 'A couple of years and add a year. It wouldn't have been Christmas day, 2010 would it?'

'Yes it was,' Shaun confirmed.

Rose looked at John wide eyed. 'But John, that was . . .'

'And you got married at Saint Mary's Church, Hayden Road, Chiswick. Right?' John stated rather than asked.

Donna's mouth fell open again. 'He's doin' it again.' She gave him a suspicious frown. 'Have you been stalkin' me or somethin'? Cos this is gettin' weird now.'

Rose snorted a laugh. 'It's alright Donna, honest. Oh we have got so much to tell you. Let's start on the main course and we'll explain.'

John gathered up the soup bowls and went through to the kitchen and took the Asian salmon & sweet potato bake out of the oven where it had been keeping hot.

['Goin' well is it?'] Donna-the-Robot asked, as John handed the plates to Rose through the hatch.

'Shhh. They'll hear you,' John whispered. 'She knows there's something strange now. We're going to explain over the salmon.'

['Lucky salmon.']

John put the oblong dish on the ledge of the hatch, and handed the oven gloves over to Rose, who transferred it to the table. Once at the table, John divided the dish into four portions with the serving spoon and scooped it onto the offered plates.

'Oh this smells delicious,' Shaun said, and started to eat.

'Mmmm. Rose. This is gorgeous. Your chef is a genius,' Donna said.

['Thanks,'] Donna-the-Robot said to herself in the kitchen.

'Now Donna. I know you're a big fan of ours,' John said, and she looked suitably embarrassed. 'So you know all about how we met don't you?'

'Yeah. I've read that piece in Time Magazine so many times, and I've lost count of the number of times I've watched the Parkinson interview you did. Your just so . . . Oh I don't know. So brilliant. The way you rescued her in that nightclub in Switzerland John. And Rose, you make me cry everytime you tell Parky how you were separated while John was off bein' a secret agent,' Donna told them.

'It never happened,' John told her, bursting her bubble. At least for now.

'Yer what?'

'That, is a Torchwood cover story to hide our real story,' John told them.

'But it was on Parky an' everythin',' she protested. As far as she was concerned, if it was on the BBC, it had to be true.

'Donna, Shaun. What we are about to tell you is very personal and private, and we'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else,' John said.

'Not that anyone's gonna believe you anyway,' Rose said with a smile.

'Well of course. If it's private. You have my word that no one will hear it from me,' Donna said earnestly.

'Me too,' Shaun said.

And so over the main course, which everyone thought was delicious, John and Rose started to tell their story. Rose started with the story of how they had accidently fallen into this parallel universe.

'Oh now you're just makin' fun of me,' Donna said, upset that her idols were teasing her like this.

She was starting to suspect that something wasn't right about this evening. She'd even said to Shaun that she didn't know why rich and famous celebrities like the Smith's would want to be friends with the likes of her. And then she remembered a play on television, where rich people would have a competition to see who could invite the chavviest person to a dinner party and have some fun at their expense.

'What is this? Donna asked with a slight head wobble of attitude.

'Eh?' Rose said, completely baffled by the question.

'Some kind of contest is it?'

'What?' John said, also completely baffled.

'Donna,' Shaun said, trying to reign in her temper. But it was too late. She'd worked out what they were doing, and she wasn't going to stand for it.

'Let's invite a couple of dumbos to a dinner party, tell 'em a tall story, and see if they fall for it?'

'What?!' John and Rose said together, taken completely by surprise with the turn of events.

'Did ya put Captain Flash up to it? Tellin' us you were really excited to meet us and givin' you my number,' Donna said angrily.

'Donna. Stop it,' Shaun said, embarrassed by his wife's outburst.

'Well let me tell you. I ain't no dumbo, an' I didn't come down with the last shower of rain. So thanks for the invite. Thanks for the food, and thanks for nothin'. Come on Shaun, we're leavin'.

She stood up and looked down at Shaun with a command in her eyes which told him he'd better stand up and leave, which he reluctantly did. Rose had tears trickling down her cheeks, and John looked as though he had just been slapped in the face by Jackie.

'Donna. Please,' Rose sobbed. 'It's not like that, honest.'

['Why don't you at least stay for dessert and let ME explain,'] Donna heard herself say from behind her. ['It's a Banoffee Pavlova, and yer'll kick yourself if you miss it.']

She and Shaun turned to see an android standing in the doorway with it's human-like, prosthetic hands on it's hips. It's head had an almond shaped face with a high resolution screen, which showed Donna's face smiling back at her.

'Oh-my-God . . . It's got my face!'