Severus tentatively tried to roll out of bed the next morning without disturbing Hermione. The darkness before dawn enveloped the bedroom and a slight chill in the air.
Feather-light steps padded across the room gathering garments needed to dress and make a swift escape. He had a list of things he needed to do before the poor wretched child he had sired entered the world and he was determined to get them done, for both Hermione and the baby.
He wouldn't lie to himself; he was scared. Scared of the what's and if's. Scared he would be a shitty father like his own pathetic sire but most of all he was scared of the unknown. Sure, he taught children for a good portion of his life but that was different. They were someone else's beasts of burden that he could gleefully forget about as the piled out of his classroom at the end of a lesson. But now, now this was a new ball game. This child was his own to care for and to raise. His to educate right from wrong and that really, really worried him. He wasn't exactly an upstanding pillar of the community. Sure, he knew right from wrong but his life choices were questionable at best and he only hoped that his own child didn't want the tightrope between what was right and what was easy.
The floorboards creaked under his feet just as he was about to grab his boots and tiptoe from the room. He grimaced and turned slowly on the spot, heart racing, hoping to the gods above that he didn't wake her up. He loved her but he didn't need to be asked the who, where, why and how of his whereabouts, not right now anyway. He sighed softly, the soft rise and fall of her chest told him she didn't wake, she didn't even stir
Padding from the room, arms full of his clothing he dressed as he walked the length off the hallways to the kitchen where he grabbed an old piece of scrap paper and an old quill that had been laying on the bench for what looked like years and scribbled a note telling her he would be back in a few days. Throwing the quill on the bench, he pulled his boots on and left the house, softly walking down the pathway. He could only hope he could achieve what he was setting out to do. For Hermione, he reminded himself as he apparated.
-o-o-o-o-
"Sev-," Hermione was searching every room of the run-down house for him when she stumbled upon his scribbled letter he had left her. "Typical," She bit with a roll of the eyes, scrunching up the parchment angrily and throwing it with all her might, watching as the ball of paper hit the wall and bounced off. As if it wasn't boring enough in here without being here all alone.
She sighed forlornly and soundlessly made her way to his dusty sitting room where the walls were lined with book after book, year's worth of dust coating them from neglect and sitting unused.
A single digit traced feather-light along dusty, illegible spines, dying a little inside at the way in which the books had been disregarded and left to sit idle and uncared for. Long white index finger mingling with ancient dust resting on a spine. Gently she pulled the book out and eyed it with deep regard.
-o-o-o-o-
"Severus?" Hermione snapped her book shut she had plucked off the shelf days prior, mesmerized with every single word on the page that her eyes drank in.
The front door had just opened and closed rapidly followed by heavy footsteps alerted her to the fact that he must, after days finally be home, or at least she hoped it was him.
When he didn't answer she gently placed the book on the floor, rising to her feet and fishing for her wand she white-knuckled it, holding with every ounce of her strength should she need to use it.
"Severus?" She asked again gently, stepping out into the hallway, arm shaking rapidly with fear and adrenaline should she need to make the decision to fight or run in the heat of the moment.
"Severus?" Fear weaved its way through her tone, extending her wand out in front of her, walking towards the kitchen where she could only imagine he had gone. Pushing open the door she stepped through the threshold lowering he wand a touch.
"Severus?" Hermione pushed gently as she padded into the kitchen nervously. The man stooped low over some papers on the kitchen table, eyes darting quickly from side to side with purpose. He stiffened slightly and sat up to look at her intently his back cracking into place.
"Mmmm?" he hummed at her in question, eyes red and bleary from lack of sleep and reading over the papers in a bid to move his, no, their lives forward. He really needed to get this store running sooner rather than later now he knew he was to be a father and the responsibility of a tiny human was going to be thrust upon him unceremoniously.
"You're back and you didn't even bother to come and tell me?" She pocketed her wand and folded her arms over her chest attempting to glower at him angrily and without approval but it just looked like she was about to cry.
"I'm sorry." He threw her a quick half apologetic look before looking back to his paperwork.
"Where did you go?" She demanded, arms still folded and foot tapping hard on the old wooden floorboards.
"Business." He shrugged.
"Business?" She echoed back not at all believing him.
"Indeed." Raising a brow at her almost challenging her to keep on questioning him.
She rounded behind him and rested chin on his shoulder looking at the papers with a piqued interest.
"What are you they?" She asked inquisitively as she scanned the papers within his clutch. Sighing deeply he put the papers on the table and ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"I really need to get this done. Paperwork for the shop," He grumbled, reaching a hand around behind him he clutched her own with his and pulled her gently into his lap.
"Is it really that important?" She cocked her head to the side, chocolate brown eyes melting into black inky ones.
"It is. We have a child coming for Merlin sake. This wasn't something I was prepared for, not right at the moment anyway and the urgency to get this shop running with some security and income behind us is what we really need now and short of me crawling back through the doors of Hogwarts and groveling to Minerva, this is my only opportunity to provide for the family I never thought I would ever have but have somehow ended up with."
He dropped a chaste kiss on her forehead, her arms snaked around his neck in response, burying her head into his shoulder and inhaling the scent that mingled on his robes.
"Severus?" she whispered against his shoulder whisper quiet, his ears strained to pick up her soft voice.
"Yes?"
"I'm scared." She inhaled sharply against him, stiffening slightly in his embrace.
"I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified, actually." His pale hand swiped lovingly at her mass of brown, bushy curls in a comforting way.
The silence between them hung thick in the air.
"This is new for the both of us, Hermione. It would be strange if we weren't petrified of what will happen. Scared of how we will raise a functioning and normal human being when we ourselves are so broken and fucked up that we can barely function ourselves. We were both victims of unfortunate circumstances and had we both walked different paths we most likely wouldn't be here right now. We just need to take each day as it comes and climb each hurdle as it is thrown at us. You might be scared now and have a million thoughts, feelings and emotions running through your head but I promise this will get better. In a few years, you will look back on this and all the hurdles you have overcome and you will wonder what all the worrying was for."
"I know, that things will work out." She sobbed softly against his robes. "Logically my brain knows things will be fine but the deep down niggling feel in the pit of my stomach says otherwise. We can't raise a child in this house, no offense."
He snorted. "None taken. But we will fix it up and it will be just like new…"
"Or we can move into my house."
"And where will your parent's live?"
"You know my parents are in Australia. They aren't coming back." A heart-wrenching sob tore from her lithe frame and he held her tightly.
"You never know…" he trailed off in deep thought. If only she knew.
A/N: Sorry for the slow update! I have just been so busy lately. I am trying to get this story finished a.s.a.p. and plan to have it done before the new year (I hope) this is just a little filler chapter for you all.
-Aliasmel1