Chapter 7 - Rafael

He looked at the flyer in his hands and sighted. The Burke kid dropped them earlier saying he did not give a flying fuck where he would put them but that his old man would probably come and check later to see if they were properly visible. Rafael did not particularly like the counsellor. But the little man had helped him in the past and the young bookseller prefered to just give up from time to time… His mother had been a supporter and, when she was alive, she would often bake cakes and pies whenever he organised something. Furthermore, he had speeded up the opening of the Reading Elk. He had bought an old house with some inheritance money but it had not been easy at all. The former owners had moved to another state and did not look interested in selling to a latino. Leroy Burke called them personally, having known them in the past. Rafael had no idea what he said and he frankly prefered not to know. He would have maybe taken offence to the obvious racism but at the same time, there were not a lot of other buildings he could afford and buy in the area. At the time, he wanted to stay close to his mother who had cancer. Now, she had been dead for a couple of years and even if he wanted to move somewhere else, he could not afford it.

He settled for the area next to the cash machine. The flyer was blue with a big "VOTE BURKE" at the top and a list of a couple of measures the future candidate had put. They were all ridiculous things, Rafael thought. Getting a tea room, opening a middle school closer to the area, having a bigger leisure center... All of this would probably be very nice, but where would the money come from? Would people even, just, go there? Would it be of any use when a lot of the population had vanished in the last few years? Rafael had grown up in his parents house all of his life. He spent a couple of years in Los Angeles to attend a public university but he came back quickly, missing the quiet and calm life of the village. As a young teenager he forced himself to hate this place. Everyday was a sort of challenge: how many things could he find that were useless or ridiculous in this dump? But if he was honest with himself, he liked it here. People were close and when he arrived in LA he felt insignificant and transparent. The only bright side to a large city was the vibrant gay community that you could associate with in a lot of different ways. But even there, feeling like he could be himself, everything was too fast, too loud, too much.

He drunk a sip of his cup of tea and grabbed a box of books to put on his shelves. The Reading Elk did not look like a commercial library, with light shelves, nice and clear displays and bright posters... It had been an old house so the selling space was quite small. He had achieved to cram a couple of tall shelves and some smaller ones. The cash machine was at the entrance of what almost looked like a maze. He kept a couple of old armed chairs and a coffee table to put in the middle, where customers or regulars could read a bit. If the space felt tight and claustrophobic, Rafael felt like it was like a fortress. A solid sturdy structure to keep at bay all the little annoyances that stained the outside. A cocoon where to snuggle, to let your mind wander off somewhere far away, and to forget for one second what it involved to be yourself. Leaving the shop was like sticking your head out of the water. The air and light slapped you violently, making you regret the warm and cosy ambiance from before.

The bell from the door rung. Rafael could not see the newcomer as he was at the back of the store, behind one of the shelves. He just said loudly "Good morning!" with his usual polite and cheerful voice. The high pitched voice of Ida raised behind the books "Oh Hello Rafael!" he could hear her footsteps approaching steadily on the hardwood floor. He stood up and pulled on his shirt to hide the wrinkles. She appeared in the tight alley with her usual polite smile. Her eyes were small and blue behind a round pair of silver glasses. "How are you on that fine day, young man?" she seemed to be very fond of him. She had been a good friend of his mother. It was as if every older woman in the entire area took it upon themselves to take care of him and treat him like their own son. He would receive baked goods a couple of times a week, under various false pretenses and he could see groups of women talking to him or about him with their eyebrows low in a constant state of pity. As much as he hated that sort of behaviour, he had to admit that in his lonely existence, any positive attention he could have was good. "I'm fine, Ida, what about you?" she waved her hand saying "Same old, same old." then she asked "Do you have the books I ordered for my book club?" Rafael raised his index, remembering the request. "Yes yes! I have them just here, come with me!" and he started darting through the shelves, between the chairs until he reached the cash machine. Behind the counter was a small door. He opened it and reached inside in order to extract another cardboard box. He put it on the counter and took one of the book inside to take it out. "Here. Is this the right one?" Ida had followed him swiftly and was now looking at the book. "Yes! It is. Do you have five of them?" Rafael got all of the books out, five exact copies. "Great." she said as she reached in her bag to find her purse.

The door opened and Ida had to step on the side to let the newcomers in. Two young people with light smiles came in. They were carrying backpacks. They had t-shirts and jeans and were both wearing some kinds of crosses around their necks. As they stepped in, Rafael nodded in their direction saying "Good morning." and tried to look as relaxed as usual. But he was not. He did not know these faces and that made him uncomfortable. The two young men did not look suspicious though. The first one, black, had a nice face. The kind of kid that would drink coffee at his grandma and help her get her groceries sorted. His eyes looked pure but there was something about them, as if he was on the verge of laughing at every second. The second one, white, had long blond hair framing his square face. He looked less sophisticated and clever than the other one. He looked simpler. His eyes hovering on Rafael, not showing any sign of any kind of thinking behind it. He seemed to be following the first one. The kid had less light in his face.

As Ida put the money on the counter, she turned around and seemed as surprised as Rafael. "Oh hello." she said. The kids nodded and said "Hello." with polite smiles. Rafael cashed in the money as the old woman was trying to put the five books in her tight bag. She stepped away as she noticed the young people waiting to talk to the owner of the place.

"Can I help you?, asked the bookseller, not sure why he had an uneasy feeling about all this.

- Yes, we would like to donate books, said the first one with the smiling eyes.

- Donate ? What do you mean?" Rafael owned a library, people were sometimes trying to sell him old books nobody wanted, but this request was a first. The young black man pushed his partner around in order to access his bad and he got out a couple of identical books. Hardback, white leathered cover and a strange black cross. The same as their necklaces.

"Here, it is a very good book. We would like to donate it." And he held out one of the book. Rafael took it in his hands and had a quickly look at the back, empty. A couple of steps away, Ida seemed to have succeeded in putting her books in her bag but she was now silently observing the interaction. Rafael opened the book and checked the printing information. "Where does this come from? It looks like self-editing…" he said, realising that there was not a lot of things written apart from a serial number. "It is self-editing. It was written by Joseph Seed, a great preacher." Rafael was more and more suspicious. None of this was very engaging for the non-believer he was. Being forced to display Burke's flyers was enough, he did not need to show off a religious book from an unknown preacher now… He held back the book and said "I'm sorry, I tend to only sell books from certain publishers. Besides, I do not partner up with anybody." the black young man smiled with a big bright smile. In any other circumstances, he would have made him smile even. But he had a feeling that something was wrong in this situation.

"We don't want to partner up. We just want to donate these books. You can sell them, give them away, let them for people to read when they sit in your chairs… This is…" he seemed to think for a moment and said "... A gift." Rafael was getting tensed by the second. Framed that way, refusing the gift would look like some kind of insult or provocation. He owned a library and these people were willing to give away free books. He hesitated a moment before saying. "You can leave a couple and I'll see what I can do… But I don't want to make any promises." the bookseller said, raising his hands. The young black man nodded and took out three books to put them on the counter. "No problem sir. We appreciate the fact that you will have a look. Thank you very much." then, he gestured towards his partner and they walked towards the door. Has the blond boy got out, the other one seemed to pause for a second at the door. He turned and looked at Ida then Rafael before saying "God bless you. Have a good day." and he left.