I'm overwhelmed by the reaction to the first chapter! You all really know how to make a girl feel welcome. I'm aiming to weave back and forth between the past and the present until we can get their important past milestones out of the way so please bear with me. Anyway, here's chapter 2 :)
To say Fitz had a restless night would be an understatement. Throughout the night he'd doze off, defeated by the day's exhaustion weighing him down, only to be awakened by thoughts of her. His Livvie as he'd fondly remember her from time to time. The moment he spotted her at the restaurant playing on a constant loop in his head, forcing him to give into missing her. His bitingly chilly sheets certainly didn't help—he wanted to bitterly laugh out loud at how timing truly was everything.
If he'd met her sooner, if he'd met her later, if he'd stayed away, if he'd had found the courage to leave his wife at the time, if he'd been equipped to deal with the harrowing loss of his son. He'd conjured up about a thousand scenarios by now, especially throughout these past two years when they'd been apart, but seeing her in the flesh tonight stirred in him an unmatched turbidity. Fitz's game of what if was starting to take its toll on him after a few hours; he tossed around his rumpled sheets one last time before turning off his alarm. He decided he would be sleeping in since he had no expectations for his brain to be functional, and he wasn't going to bother to make it to the office until a little past mid-morning. His name was on the door after all, and nothing pertinent was waiting for him.
At thirty-eight Fitz was an accomplished lawyer, he'd been a star prosecutor who had blossomed thanks to his overachieving nature, consistently locking up the city's worst criminals. He walked away from it at the age of thirty to focus solely on drafting and reviewing contracts for mergers and acquisitions. To some it would appear as a dull choice given his nature, but what they didn't know was that his life was changing, and the impending birth of his son at the time shifted his priorities. Fitz no longer had any interest in indulging his thrill-seeking nature the minute his now ex-wife Mellie told him she was pregnant.
Their relationship had been in limbo for a while by the time Mellie found herself pregnant, a result of some off-chance sex they'd engaged in, but for Fitz the arrival of a baby felt like a blessing, cliché as it may sound. He'd grown bored of his professional and personal life, he had this restlessness about him that risked converting itself into recklessness. The arrival of a baby had been the soothing balm he didn't know he needed.
Fitz woke up hours later, ready to take on the day as best he could—ready as can be he thought. Since he arrived later than planned he decided to throw himself into his work to be as productive as possible. Of course, aiming to be productive was proving an exercise in futility, one glance at his business cards and he was derailed. Fitz quickly got lost in his own thoughts, reminiscing of how he and Olivia met.
It'd been a casual day four years ago, nothing out of the ordinary was to be expected, or so he thought. Fitz had agreed to pass by his friend Andrew's happy hour to celebrate the opening of his new office. As soon as he arrived Andrew thanked him profusely for making time to attend, and proceeded to make the rounds introducing Fitz. It was just happenstance that Fitz saw Olivia before Andrew had a chance to introduce them to one another as he'd wandered off on his own.
"Fitzgerald Grant," he said as he amiably extended his hand.
"Olivia Pope. You're a friend of Andrew's? I don't think we've met" she stated.
"Yeah, old law school buddies. How'd you end up working for a guy like him?" Fitz asked with a tinge of a chuckle in his voice faster than his brain could catch up with his mouth.
He wasn't sure what had just come over him, but he was certain he'd felt a jolt of electricity when they'd touched hands. He attributed it to the fact that she was pretty, and that she'd caught him off guard as he quickly introduced himself without a second thought. It's not like he was blind, after all. Fitz could clearly see the brown doe eyes staring back at him between those dark lashes, suddenly distracting him, making him wonder what a butterfly kiss would feel like if their faces were to be in close proximity. Her pouty mouth slightly agape, her two front teeth barely peeking through, and her smooth chocolate complexion contrasting against the pastel pink of her high-neck silk blouse.
Andrew, having overheard the last bit of Fitz's question, made his way over.
"I see you two have met! Olivia doesn't work for me Fitz, she's a client of the firm. We review all her agency's contracts. She's in the creative consulting business. She's singlehandedly keeping us afloat and overworked. We can't keep up with her success sometimes!" joked Andrew.
Not able to suppress this competitive edge that suddenly overwhelmed him, Fitz reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a business card, quickly handing it to Olivia and telling her: "Andrew here may not be able to keep up with the workload you're bringing, but I assure you that you won't have that problem over at my firm. I'll gladly take over."
"Fitz hasn't been doing this for a long time. We provide the better service, our experience trumps his glitzy business card," Andrew interjected teasingly.
Olivia on the other hand wasn't sure what to make of the accidental pissing contest that was taking place before her very eyes, or the fact that some strange tension had suddenly appeared the minute she'd made Fitz's acquaintance. Wanting to swiftly diffuse the situation, find Harrison and head home she pulled her business card out of her purse. She told herself she was handing it over to Fitz as a courtesy, merely returning the favor since he'd been so eager to offer his services, not because she found him wildly attractive or the fact that he sent her mind reeling with his accidentally sexy workload implications. The minute he stretched his arm and opened his palm to receive her card was the moment Olivia felt like she was a balloon deflating around the room—there it was glistening, his wedding ring. Just my luck she thought, as she said her goodbyes and wondered if it was just her that could've misinterpreted the energy between them.
A few hours of his workday had passed when John decided to make an appearance, thwarting all of Fitz's wishes that he forget about his passionate confession from the prior night. Not bothering to ask for permission John waltzed right in and plopped his butt in the chair in front of Fitz.
"You look like shit. Rough night?" John quipped.
"Well hello to you too John. How are you? What brings you by?" Fitz answered in an annoyed tone. It was one thing for him to confess what had been plaguing him, it was a whole other ballgame having to sit there and have John make him relive the experience, something Fitz was sure was to come judging by his impulsive visit.
"You can't expect to let me into your silence after all these years and want me to not have any questions. I'm taking you to lunch. Let's go, grab your things," said John.
Olivia survived dinner last night, but she didn't want to give her brain time to dwell on the shock of seeing Fitz. She'd had gotten lucky; before forcing herself to concoct some elaborate plan to avoid her own thoughts the guys asked her to stay over, claiming she'd had too much to drink and noting the hour—her jetlag coupled with a few drinks were a recipe for disaster they both said. She gladly accepted their offer and promised to make breakfast for them in the morning in exchange. She decided she would take advantage of being in their home, forcing herself to put up a façade to forget the way she felt the same magnetism when seeing Fitz after two years. She'd resort to one of her coping mechanisms if she had to, but she wasn't going to go down the rabbit hole that was Fitz.
As promised Olivia made breakfast in the morning, rousing Harrison and Mike from their bed with the scent of bacon that wafted through the house. She was satisfied with her ability to compartmentalize; the last thing she needed was this surprise encounter to give her away after all these years. She'd always been private, reserved; an involuntary symptom of her solitary life-reserved even with her best friends and business partners. Not because she feared that they'd judge her for getting involved with Fitz knowing he was married at the time. They wouldn't question her morality. It wasn't that. Olivia's fear was rooted in the fact that she'd been performing this lie of omission for so long that it felt useless to tell them now—what good would it do exactly? If she knew them well, and she did, she knew they'd be upset about the fact that she'd kept it to herself, that she'd accepted Fitz's words and suffered the aftermath in silence. Fitz had been her little secret, loving him and keeping him to herself is how she had wanted it to be. It was no use to change that now.
"Liv we've been sitting on our asses for over two months now. This nomadic life you're trying out might be entertaining for you, but it's boring as hell for me. If you're not here, we're not working! You're the brains of this operation, remember?" Harrison whined.
The nomadic life he was referring to was a result of Olivia's utter exhaustion at going full-throttle at work for the past few years. She was jaded and she had chosen to travel on her own; an attempt at disconnecting. Her eyes needed some sort of new visual inspiration as she feared that her creative well had run dry. They'd won every Clio imaginable for their work on numerous non-profit campaigns over the years, they were on staff at various museums consulting on exhibits that focused on the human condition, on the disenfranchised. It was grueling work for a business with just three people, and one of those three living abroad, but it was the way they'd agreed they'd run their business. No one would execute their creative visions the way they could, and having a small, possibly tiny staff, allowed for them to work on projects that spoke to them on emotional levels. Their campaigns were effecting change and that's the way they liked it.
"Harrison, you are supposed to be using this time to nest while you guys await your adoption. You're being ridiculous. For the life of me I cant understand your desperation to work after all we've accomplished these past 7 years. I can't be the only one that's tired. Just simmer down, we have a pile of proposals to sift through. When we're back at work and there's a delicious baby waiting for you at home you'll be begging for us to be on a self-imposed hiatus," Olivia deadpanned.
Once Liv went home she had no choice but to be alone with her thoughts. She wiped a rogue tear and decided there was no time like the present to figure out whatever direction they wanted to head in next. Harrison obviously didn't know why they'd been so swamped in the past few years, but work had been Liv's coping mechanism. She took on as much as possible so she couldn't have a moment to herself, and when she did she'd always be borderline collapse from exhaustion. She didn't want to deal with the breakup. Didn't want to have a single second to replay his words on a loop— "Don't you see what this is? This is karma. Divine retribution. My son's dead because I made a bad choice, because I couldn't keep it in my pants. All we had to do was stay away from one another."
Of course, that accusation had been absurd. Jerry had died suddenly of meningitis he contracted while at summer camp. They'd confused his symptoms for the flu and by the time they got him to a hospital it was too late. Olivia knew it was the grief talking, the incomprehensible abrupt death of his only child, but all she'd done was call to offer her condolences. She didn't expect their last phone call to end in some form of blame game. She decided to take it as a sign from the universe and end the affair for good. She switched office space, and blocked his phone number from both the office and her cellphone in case he ever called again. She even decided to take the leap and accept a consulting job that would continuously have her between the east and west coast. Being overworked sounded better than being heartbroken to her.
Sure, she never harbored any crazy illusory ideas about him leaving his wife. She didn't even want that; their perfect little arrangement working in her favor was keeping her from making a real commitment. Their love and affection existed in their little bubble, limited in time and space, while she worked her fingers to the bone trying to run a successful business, busily living her twenties, doing things she never thought she'd do. An affair with a married man included. He'd been her professor, teaching her a course for lovers only, and she'd been his breath of fresh air making him feel more than he thought was possible.
Figuring she'd had enough of memory lane for one day, Liv decided to put this almost serendipitous encounter behind her. She grabbed the pile of proposals and vowed to find at least five different projects which she could direct her immediate attention to. If Harrison didn't want to nest with Mike while they waited on their baby, then she wasn't going to force him. She'd gone on her extended vacation to renew herself after the tumultuous past few years, she needed to be recharged. If she wasn't then she needed to start acting like it. Fake it til you make it is how the saying goes she thought to herself. Frustrated she sat on her rug cross-legged and let out a deep sigh as she rubbed her temples; this was the next best thing to channel her energy into. She wasn't going to stop now.
Across town Fitz and John were having an awkward lunch. Fitz was sitting there wishing he could take back all of last night's word vomit, and John trying to fish out details that Fitz was reluctant to give. After witnessing how distraught Fitz looked John decided he had to help him find a way to contact "his Livvie" as he'd called her. His older brother had had a rough go of it the last few years, he didn't want to think of him having yet another reason to be melancholy.
Without the ability to reach Olivia via telephone and no knowledge of either the address of her home or place of business it felt like an insurmountable challenge; finding a needle in a haystack. They'd been secretive, he couldn't ask Andrew if she was still his client. He had no way of explaining why he was asking questions about a woman he met once as far as Andrew was concerned.
John's phone chimed startling them out of their deep conversation, an Instagram notification from his wife who had sent him something. Probably something humorous he thought as he picked up his phone, and then the idea came to him.
"Fitz! I think I got it! I think I know how you can reach Olivia! Do you have an Instagram?" John asked.
"What the hell are you talking about? Do I have a what? You know I have no social media, I don't care for it," Fitz answered.
"But that's the thing! She's probably on there and this thing has an internal messaging system. Jenna just sent me something, it looks like this! Write her your apology there! I mean she can technically block you but she will receive your initial message at the very least. Let me search for her," John enthusiastically told him.
Of course Liv had an Instagram account, granted it was private, but it existed and that was enough to restore some hope to Fitz's spirit. All he wanted was to apologize. He wanted to let go of the guilt, and get closure on their time together. His therapist had helped him through his grief, the ongoing new normal in his life. He'd been instructed that he had to live through the uncomfortable and deeply emotional parts of life, to feel them, if he wanted to be successful at coping with his grief- and this is exactly what he was aiming for.
"Well how do I sign up for one of these Insta-things?" Fitz said with a lighter tone in his voice that hadn't been heard in years.