Harrison and Mike were putting on one of their lovefests PDAs on as usual. Liv didn't even bother to tell them to get a room anymore, after ten years she was now used to it. She resorted to teasing them.
"It is eight in the morning, how do you two even have the energy to be hugging and kissing and touching so much? Don't you two need a few minutes to gather yourselves in the morning? Can't you wait until you have a cup of coffee? Y'all make me sick," she told them.
"We already had quite a few minutes to gather ourselves, if you know what I mean. Hint hint. Cough cough. When you get a man, you're going to be putting us to shame. I know it. I feel it in my soul," Mike responded while raising his eyebrows for emphasis.
"Ugh. Oh, please I don't even know why you'd think that…" she said.
"It's simple. You're a sexy bombshell, no man in their right mind would voluntarily keep his hands off you," Mike said.
"You set yourself up for that one Liv," Harrison told her.
She simply rolled her eyes in return as she crossed her arms.
"How'd it go with Fitz the other night?" asked Mike.
"Wow. First you subject me to your sexy love displays, then you don't serve me any breakfast and you jump right into this piping hot topic without even a warning," she complained.
"You know you want to tell me," Mike sassed.
"Since you asked...It was fine at first and then it turned out to be a mess of a night. Started out promising but I ended up in tears. He went home with glassy eyes. True to form we managed to make chaos even when aiming to get closure," she said.
"You went home crying? What'd that asshole do now?" asked Harrison.
"Woah, slow down Harry. We just exchanged words, it's not about what he did or what I did. He complained about my self-imposed disappearance and it bothered me. Made me feel exposed. And then I was just frustrated about the whole thing. I guess I didn't expect him to question me and my motives, we hadn't seen each other in almost two years, it was bound to happen sooner or later," she answered despondently.
"You love that man," Mike chimed in casually.
"What the hell are you talking about, honey?" interrupted Harrison.
"She loves that man or else she wouldn't be so affected. She wouldn't have gone home upset that their date went to shit," Mike answered.
"Can you two stop talking about me as if I'm not sitting right here across the very same kitchen island you're inhabiting right now?" she asked.
"And it wasn't a date!" She said in exasperation.
"Sorry," they both said sheepishly at the same time.
"Did you two talk at all after that night?" Mike asked.
The mood in the room had inevitably shifted.
"He asked if I had gotten home alright, but that was it. I answered him that I had, but after that we haven't talked at all," Liv answered.
"Do you want to talk to him?" Harrison asked.
"I don't know. It feels unfinished, but it's as if we're doomed to always feel unfinished after what we've been through. I was a bit curt; I admit that I did ruminate on the barbs we traded, but I'm not sure what good reviving the conversation one more time would do," she said.
"I think… that it's ultimately up to you and you know that. If you're going to keep thinking about him here and there and feel this way then perhaps you two should speak another time so that you can clear out your own emotions at the very least. But if you're ok with closing that door for real this time and you think you can live with a decision with that type of finality as things stand now then you know what choice to make. I also want you to know that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Not even what I think and what I'm telling you right now. I know it's unsolicited advice, but Harry and I, yes even Harry here, we want to see you happy and if this is an impediment to your happiness then we don't want you to suffer for it. And if your happiness is tied up in that person in a way that you haven't unraveled yet then it's safe to say that you deserve to give yourself the opportunity. I'm just a wise old man giving you unsolicited advice right now, but at the very least think of what I'm saying," Mike told her.
Harrison sat quietly as the observer, he wanted her to be happy, he told her all the time that she was too precious to not be adored by someone. He knew deep down Liv could only take a few more years of being their eternal third wheel. She had even gone through phases in which she admitted to him she felt uncomfortable being the third wheel, almost as if she was intruding between him and Mike. Even if he hated Fitz right now he could grow to tolerate him if Liv even thought for a minute her happiness was tied up with him.
Liv interrupted the stillness by saying "I actually went on a date last night, and I had fun, I even agreed to a second date, but of course it's like I can't catch a break from Fitz. He's everywhere. I went to post on Instagram after my date and it turns out he posted what could easily pass for a thirst trap on Instagram. But that wasn't enough, he also posted a ridiculously sweet message to his dead child."
Liv's phone buzzed loudly on the marble counter causing her to glance at it.
"You see?! It's like my phone is bugged. This man has ridiculous timing," she said frustrated.
It was a message from Fitz.
"It's not his timing baby, it's the universe trying to tell you something. No such thing as coincidence," Mike told her as he shrugged.
"And what about your date? Where'd you two meet?" Harrison asked.
"I went out with Abby the other night and you know her so of course she found someone to dance with and a plus one for me as well. He's a nice guy and we had a good time, tonight's supposed to be the second date but now I'm starting to feel as if I've forced it all. Fitz just seems to be everywhere these days and I can't decipher if it's been bad or good to open up that door lately," she said.
"Liv, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life but you have to stop doubting every little thing you do. You went on a date, something normal people do, less than 24 hours ago, please stop trying to undo that progress. You're questioning your date, you're questioning your talk with Fitz— what I'm trying to say is that you should think for you and about you, instead of taking some other way out in which you just pile shit on top of yourself without giving yourself a second to deal with anything. That's not healthy and that's what you've been doing no matter how much you want to deny it," Harry said.
He and Harrison stepped away to wash their coffee mugs to give her some space to think over their words and some privacy to read whatever Fitz had sent.
"I know I got carried away the other night. I got way ahead of myself, and I know I'm selfish when it comes to you. I always have been. I selfishly loved you back then, and I suspect that the affair only aided and abetted my selfish tendencies because I always had you to myself in our little bubble. I know that's wrong. And I know I'm wrong but I don't know any other way. I've never loved anyone the way that I still love you and I always tried to tell you that. Always tried to make it so that you'd feel that. I know I was wrong to accuse you of being a chicken shit the other night, and I'm trying not to dwell on what happened. I feel like nowadays I'm always in the wrong. I'm utterly exhausted of living like that. I just want you to understand that I was only attempting to piece the puzzle together last night. I just want to understand why you left so abruptly when you must've known that it was the grief talking, that I could never possibly think you to be some form of karma. We've both said things we didn't mean to one another over the years, and while we've never been in what society would deem a real relationship, you're still the realest love I've ever felt besides my son. I just can't quit you. If there's any takeaway from the other night is that I just can't quit you."
Liv sighed in frustration as she realized that his latest confession was the icing on the cake for her already jumbled thoughts. She suddenly realized that after Fitz she'd had no interest in anyone for two years, and the date with Daniel seemed more and more like an impulse to prove something to herself after being triggered by seeing Fitz she thought. Had she overcompensated with Daniel? At first she felt like she'd gone along with it in their initial meeting because of Abby, but then she also felt like their date was real, that he could be someone of genuine interest to her... but then it was all shot to shit thanks to the universe's continuous interference in favor of Fitz.
Now she wasn't so sure seeing as to how she had done what she always did—she'd chosen not to process what happened with Fitz and dove headfirst into a distraction instead— the traveling, the constant working, endless efforts to keep busy. She realized right then and there that she had no business roping Daniel in when she was so unsure about what was happening with Fitz. What had started as a desire on his part to apologize was now a full-blown love confession, something she didn't expect because she hoped her disappearance had made him hate her. She always figured that'd be easier than having to face the demise of their relationship.
She remained at the kitchen island with her head in her hands, only to be interrupted by Mike giving her a hug from behind the stool she was sitting on. He kissed the back of her head and gave her another squeeze as he whispered "Remember what I said honey, figure out how your happiness ties into this you're going through. That should be your guide, it'll let you know all you need to know."
She smiled a sad smile, grabbed her keys, said her goodbyes and headed back home. The first thing on her to do list was to cancel on Daniel. She had quickly decided that there was no point in wasting his time when he seemed like such a nice guy, and she'd be actively doing so if she somehow ended up leading him on while she figured out what possibilities she had with Fitz.
She chose to heed Mike's advice and she examined her immediate feelings. She thought of all that she had shared with Fitz, the stolen glances, stolen kisses, endless nights of passion—and she realized that all that clandestine happiness could be multiplied tenfold now that he was a single man. Fitz had talked about being unable to quit her, and this prompted her to question if she had ever quit him or if she'd just stored him away trying to ignore the empty hollow that had taken up residence in her heart. The opportunity to love someone deeply, and be loved in return just the same was not something afforded to many, who was she to squander it?
What she needed now was to prioritize, and she'd start by letting Daniel down easy. She knew that canceling on him would not be enough, and she felt guilt because she'd figured he would spend some time trying to reconcile the reality of their first date and her subsequent cancellation of a second date she'd already agreed to. She was sure he'd ask her out again so the only choice left for her was to be honest. She was grateful they'd only gone on one date and now she needed to come up with a way to make him understand there was no future for them as long as Fitz was fluttering in her head. She figured she'd just tell him that she appreciated him taking her out the night before, that she had a great time like she'd mentioned to him, but that she just couldn't keep going out with him and being dishonest. It wasn't fair to him to lead him on when she might have feelings for someone else, and this was something she was looking to avoid.
She took a deep breath, put the car in drive, and instructed her car to dial Daniel. Sooner than later she thought.
Once she'd let Daniel down easy she knew she needed to answer Fitz. She didn't feel it was appropriate to leave him on read like she'd done in the beginning after he'd just so sentimentally poured his heart out to her. She picked up her phone again and began typing a text.
"I'm sorry I was so curt the other night. I recognize your need to understand and I wish I had simple and direct answers for you. I'll be in touch."
It wasn't even noon and Olivia felt as if she was wiped out. She went up the stairs, got undressed and got directly under her covers. Whenever she was feeling down she liked to sleep it off, this occasion being no exception. Plus, she needed her rest if she wanted to look her best at Andrew's party tomorrow otherwise there would be no concealer to save her if she kept on experiencing the most restless sleep of her adult life. Harrison told her he wasn't going to go this time, so she'd be on her own and would only stay for a short while. She didn't care what time it was right now; she was headed for an early afternoon nap.
Thursday rolled around and Olivia was getting ready for Andrew's little mixer. He did this often it seemed. She tried not to think about the fact that in one of these happy hours is where she had met Fitz. She didn't know if to laugh or crumble under her anxiety
She slipped on her tiny undies to avoid panty lines against her ice blue satin dress. The more she looked in the mirror the more she wondered if this dress was appropriate for the event. With a scoop satin neck exposing her décolletage and the wispy spaghetti straps barely holding her boobs in place she thought she'd be a bit too forward. She laughed at herself for being so silly and decided to soothe her doubts by remembering that this dress went all the way to her knee. That was demure enough she thought, without paying any mind to the fact that her back was also entirely exposed except a few criss-cross satin strings holding the dress together. Snapping herself out of her thoughts she slipped on her strappy tan sandals and headed towards Andrew's happy hour. She wanted to be in and out, like a tooth extraction.
Once she arrived she didn't know why she hadn't thought of it. Her mind was spinning since it happened so fast— Fitz was here. Of course he'd be here, they're friends she remembered! After she told him she would get back to him ever since his last "love letter" as she was starting to refer to them and she hadn't. Not yet. She had just decided to try and work on her feelings and it was as if Fitz had some special access to godly favors since he seemed to have endless luck of finding her and running into her.
She saw his nape before she saw the rest of him, a nape she'd kissed and touched so many times she'd know it anywhere. Eventually she made eye contact with Andrew as he was making his way towards her. Fitz turned around too but he wasn't ready for what he was going to see once he fully focused. There she was, in a sinful dress that draped and caressed every curve on her body— prompting him to begin cursing under his breath. Didn't they say it was truly unlikely to be struck by lightning twice? He was sure that was a lie since Olivia had just managed to strike him again.
"Olivia, how have you been? You here on your own without Harrison?" asked Andrew.
"Hello, yes I'm here without Harry. He's busy prepping for a baby these days," she answered.
Andrew noticed Fitz was around so he motioned for him to come forward—
"You've met Fitz, haven't you Olivia?" asked Andrew.
"Yes we've met," Liv answered as she extended her hand towards him. He looked uncomfortable and she suspected it was because of her, so she excused herself.
If the dress had stirred something inside him when he'd first seen her then he didn't know what to label what he was currently feeling as he watched her walk away from him. Without thinking twice he pulled out his cellphone and sent her a text.
"Can we meet at the park later?"
He had to talk to her tonight, he needed to get close to her, to tell her how beautiful she looked even if she rebuked him.
Liv had just gotten herself a glass of champagne when she decided to check her cell phone. Of course Fitz had texted her. He was shameless.
She simply texted back "once you leave, I'll follow after about fifteen minutes and see you at the park."
Once Fitz read that he was ready to leave happy hour, he didn't care that he'd only been there for about twenty minutes. Now the rest of his time was spent calculating how much longer he had to stay at happy hour for it to be socially acceptable. Another thirty minutes passed and he eventually couldn't take it anymore so he said his goodbyes, especially letting Liv know he was leaving. She waited exactly fifteen minutes and headed out towards the park which was no more than a ten minute drive away.
Once she got there she spotted him on a bench so she parked her car nearby. They were alone with the exception of a few crickets chirping. She walked towards him and eventually made it to him, sitting on the bench facing the water. He was staring off into the distance, trying to quell the storm of thoughts rushing through his mind.
He turned a bit so he could observe her profile to his left; his gaze making Olivia a little nervous as if under his microscope. He broke their silence to ask her a question:
"Are you trying to kill me in that dress?"
She could only crack a smile as she kept her gaze in front of her. She felt as if her temperature had explosively risen the minute he scooted closer to her, repeating her question in a hush tone barely above a whisper.
"Are you? Trying to kill me?" he asked a little slower is time.
Liv chuckled lightly without giving him an answer, never making an effort to face him. She wasn't trying to kill him, but she couldn't deny she was enjoying the effect she had on him. Fitz finally had enough and he dipped his head down to murmur in her ear.
"Hmm? I asked you a question Livvie," he said in her ear.
He was weakening her defenses, nipping at her exposed neck, sliding his hand over her lap, feeling her silky dress beneath his fingertips. She gathered her senses and managed to moan out a no as a response.
"I don't think so baby," he whispered against her collarbone, causing Liv to tilt her head granting him better access.
He continued his ministrations biting and soothing the storm he was positive he was causing in Liv, as his right hand moved up her body and landed on her left breast. He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, the feel of the fabric becoming too much and causing Liv to gasp out loud. They were slowly getting carried away on this park bench but neither seemed to care. Fitz was getting harder by the second, the woman he'd missed so much was finally putty in his hands, just like he'd always remembered.
He nudged her dress straps down exposing her shoulders and proceeded to shower her with kisses as she leaned back. His right hand never giving up his grip over her dress. He continued nipping at her skin making his way across the top of her cleavage as she brought her left hand up to caress his nape, her fingers getting caught in his hair. His kisses making their way lower until he was gently biting and licking her nipples through the fabric, something that had Olivia gasping for air and scratching her nails down his bicep with force.
A surge of oxygen stuck Olivia and she realized they were in public. She pulled his head away from her chest, forcing both of them to catch their breaths.
"Fitz, we're in public," she said breathily.
He gave a deep sigh against her chest, the air burning his lungs as he calmed down in her arms while she ran her fingers through his hair. Her heart melted a little at his teenage boy reaction to getting carried away at a park bench, needing a minute to compose himself.