Hey everyone! Thank you for your reviews and thoughts! Just going to warn you, Syaoran starts off as a bit of a dick. Enjoy!
It was a joint wedding held at Syaoran's manor; many other high class families had been invited to celebrate the reception, and Sakura sat silently beside her husband while the ballroom was filled with chatter and laughter. She was dressed in a white gown that had carefully embroidered roses on the fabric, and lace along the sweetheart neckline. The sleeves were fitted to the elbow and flared out, with a layer of white lace beneath the satin. Her hair was pinned back with a silver flowery clip, and in her ears and around her neck hung gold jewellery. On her ring finger on her left hand sat a beautiful gold diamond ring.
She sighed a little, feeling tense as she feared what the first night with her husband would bring. She tried to stay as calm as possible throughout dinner, and as she looked over at her sister she noticed how happy she looked with Eriol and tried not to gag.
Syaoran noticed her face, "Are you feeling alright?" he asked.
She quickly smiled, "Just a bit of pain in the stomach." She lied, "I'm sure it's just a bit of anxiety."
He stared at her for a moment as if sensing her lie, and she felt a little uncomfortable. He looked away and returned to his meal, and she felt a little relieved. She hoped that he didn't figure out her lie.
After they had finished their meal, everyone stood to go and socialise with others around the room. Sakura walked with Syaoran, stopping every now and again to speak with others. She didn't really pay much attention to what they said after they congratulated them-she felt too uncomfortable and annoyed. Another couple walked up to them and smiled.
"Congratulations on your marriage." The woman smiled sweetly at Sakura, "I hope you are blessed with a son soon."
Sakura swallowed hard and smiled back. Kill me now… she thought to herself.
"Thank you, we appreciate your kindness." Syaoran replied with a smile.
Sakura thought she was going to have a panic attack, and suddenly felt ill. After the couple left she looked to Syaoran, "Do you mind if I go outside for a moment? I'm not feeling so well."
He thought for a moment, wondering if he should let her as he wasn't sure if she was lying this time or not. She did look a little pale, so he agreed.
"Take all the time you need." He said.
She believed what he really meant was don't take too long, but she hurried towards the balcony and felt relief with the cool night air. She leant on the balcony and allowed the breeze to brush through her loose tendrils of hair, and she closed her eyes.
Her nerves immediately started to calm along with her anxiety, and she looked back into the crowd. She could see Syaoran looking over at her, so she returned her focus to calming down. She focused on her breathing to try and get her mind off of what everyone was expecting of her-of what her husband expected of her. Surely, he wouldn't hurt her, would he…?
She felt something hot fill her eyes and fall down her cheeks, and then felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Startled, she jumped and span around. Tomoyo looked at her with surprise upon seeing her sister's tear stained face and then her face softened into a gentle smile.
"Oh Sakura, it's going to be ok." She said softly as he hugged her sister.
Sakura did her best to calm down as her sister soothed her. Feeling her sister's comfort made her feel at ease, and her mind went blank for the time she was in her sister's embrace. She was brought back to her senses when she heard the voice of her husband at the entrance.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
Tomoyo smiled. "Sakura's just a little overwhelmed is all." She replied. "I'll leave her in your care now." Tomoyo released Sakura and headed back inside, smiling and nodding to those that greeted her.
Alone with her husband, she took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm just anxious about everything."
He watched her for a moment and then nodded. "I suppose that's understandable." He replied, "Does the fresh air help? You should try drinking some water as well."
She nodded, "Thank you, I'll go get myself a glass. The fresh air does help a little bit."
"Take all the time you need." Syaoran said, and then turned to leave.
The reception ended late, and everyone headed their separate ways home. Syaoran left the maids to clean the hall, while he and Sakura headed upstairs to their bedroom. As they walked down the hall in silence, she looked at all the paintings that hung on the walls to take her mind off of the night.
They entered the bedroom and he shut the door behind her; she stared at her feet as she walked to the middle of the room, and then looked up to see the bed. She went completely rigid and felt the blood drain from her face, and when she looked over she spotted him beginning to unbutton his shirt. She felt herself panic further, and took a step back.
"No-No way…" she mumbled.
He looked at her out the corner of his eyes and the corner of his mouth curved, "You don't have a choice."
Angered, she took another step back. "You can't hurt me-you can't rape me!" her voice quavered with fear and anger.
"Listen-you have a duty to me." He said harshly. "You're only going to make this harder on yourself if you don't cooperate."
"I refuse." She whispered. Her hands shook and she felt cold.
His eyes turned cold and he grabbed her wrist painfully tight. She whimpered and tried to step back. Don't give in-it's what he wants!
She looked at him angrily, "Let go!" she snapped.
He continued to hold her wrist as she struggled against him under his sharp glare. Why does she refuse? He wondered to himself with irritation.
Using her free hand, she slapped him hard across the face. Surprised by her rebellion, he released her wrist and she ran from the room. Angered by her behaviour, he went after her.
"Get back here!" he shouted.
She hurried into one of the guest bedrooms and locked the door so that he couldn't get in, and just in case someone had a key to get in from the other side, she pulled some furniture in front of the door. She heard him swear and she breathed a sigh of relief-she was safe for now.
Syaoran headed back to his bedroom feeling frustrated and pissed off-why did she have to be so frustrating? She certainly wasn't like most other women, that was for sure. Most women wouldn't have a problem with what was expected of them, but she rebelled against society's expectations. He wasn't sure what he was going to be dealing with, but one way or another he was going to find a way to get her to cooperate.
She walked over to the bed and removed her gown so that she was just in her white underdress, and feeling exhausted and sad she slipped beneath the covers to get some rest. There was just no way she could adjust to her life-she could tell that he looked down on women. There was no way she could ever be happy with him.
She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take her as tears crawled down her cheeks, but by the time it did it was already four in the morning.
…
When Sakura woke it was to the voice of one of the maids outside the door. They were trying to coax her out with food, and even though she was hungry she completely ignored them. After about ten minutes, they left and she returned to resting her head on her knees. It would take a lot more than that to get her out of the room.
A couple of hours later they tried again, and she continued to ignore them. She could see the sun getting lower in the sky, and bored of just sitting around she began to look for something to do. She opened the draw and found a pencil and some paper, so to pass time she began an extremely detailed drawing of an eagle. She took pride in her skill, and over the next three days she continued on her drawing and never once left the room.
Syaoran sat in the lounge on the phone to Eriol, complaining about Sakura's irrational behaviour. She still hadn't emerged from the room and no one could get in since she'd blocked it with furniture.
"She hasn't eaten in three days-at this rate she'll be too weak to carry a child." He complained to his friend.
"She'll have to come out eventually. By the way-what did you do to get her to lock herself in one of the guest rooms?" Eriol asked from the other end of the line.
"We had an argument." Syaoran replied.
Eriol stayed silent for a moment, sensing something strange, and sighed. "If you want, I can have Tomoyo come and talk to her?" he suggested. "Perhaps it may cheer Sakura up."
Syaoran rested his head on his hand. "Thank you. I'll see you later."
"Sure." He replied, and then Syaoran ended the phone call.
Sakura stared at her drawing that she had just finished, and she sighed. She felt ill with fatigue-she hadn't eaten in three days. She looked over at the white gown on the floor and she felt the desperate need for a change of clothes.
I'm so tired… she thought to herself, and closed her eyes. She heard soft knocking at the door, followed by the familiar voice of her sister.
"Sakura, are you still in there?" she asked.
Sakura felt her heart leap, but then she felt suspicious. She walked over to the door. "Who's with you?" She mumbled.
"I'm alone-please, will you let me in? I want to know that you're ok." Tomoyo's sweet, concerned voice came from the other side of the door.
Sakura shifted the furniture away from the door and unlocked it. She opened it slightly and peeked out, seeing her sister standing alone with some fresh clothes in her arms. Relieved that no one was with her, she pulled the door open further and let her sister in. Tomoyo entered the room and Sakura locked the door behind her as Tomoyo walked over to sit on the bed.
"I bought you some fresh clothes. Since there's a bathroom attached to this room, I assume you've had a bath this morning?" Tomoyo asked.
"Yes, I did." Sakura mumbled.
"I'll help you get changed then!" her sister said cheerfully.
Tomoyo helped Sakura into a purple gown with crème lace and silver embroidery. The sleeves were long and hung loose, and the skirt came out at her hips and fell to the floor.
Tomoyo returned to sitting on the bed and patted the spot beside her. Sakura sat down beside her and she gently cupped her face.
"Why don't you tell me what happened, sweetie?" she asked with a soft smile.
Sakura felt hot tears swell up in her eyes and fall down her cheeks. She collapsed into her sister's arms and told her what had happened three nights ago, and Tomoyo felt surprised. Syaoran was far different from Eriol, who was kind and didn't push her into doing anything she didn't want to do and allowed her to do as she wished.
"Oh Sakura, I'm sure he's not as bad as you think. Maybe he's a lot kinder than you think underneath his harsh attitude, and perhaps you just need to see who he truly is. I don't ever want to lose you, so don't give up just yet-you can come see me whenever you like. Eriol doesn't mind." Tomoyo smiled softly.
Sakura cried even harder into her sister's lap, who stroked her hair softly to comfort her.
"May I ask what you've been doing in here this entire time?" she then asked once Sakura had finally calmed down.
Sakura sat up and leant over to pick up the pieces of paper that she'd been drawing on and handed them to Tomoyo. She flicked through them and smiled.
"Your drawing is beautiful." She said gently, "May I keep these?"
"Sure, go ahead." Sakura said quietly.
Tomoyo silently and carefully folded the perfect pictures and hid it up her sleeve. "Come on, Sakura. Let's apologise to Syaoran; I'm sure he'll forgive you and things will get better. You need to eat something anyway."
Sakura reluctantly nodded, and Tomoyo held her arm to keep her from falling as they left the room.
…
Syaoran sat with Eriol in the lounge drinking coffee, talking about Sakura and what had happened. It was safe to say that Sakura wouldn't be taking up any of the house chores anytime soon.
"So, she hasn't been out in three days?" Eriol asked.
"No, she hasn't." Syaoran replied irritably.
"Did you even try to ask her to come out?"
Syaoran looked at him with irritation, "No."
Eriol shook his head and sighed. "I'm assuming you pressured her, right?"
"She doesn't get a choice." Syaoran said.
"You could at least allow her to settle into her new life-you're usually a pretty nice guy; why are you being so harsh?" Eriol asked curiously.
"I'm not being harsh." Syaoran defended himself.
"Ok, so what did she do when you pressured her?" Eriol asked.
"I didn't… She slapped me."
"Of course, she did-she was obviously stressed at the wedding, and then to have that happen must have really freaked her out. It's no wonder she's locked herself in one of the other rooms for three days straight." Eriol said with a shrug.
"You seriously piss me off sometimes." Syaoran muttered, and then drank some of his coffee.
He saw his friend look up and smile, and so he looked over his shoulder. Standing in the doorway were the two girls; Sakura looked incredibly frail as Tomoyo stood beside her to support her, and Eriol smiled at the two girls.
Seeing Sakura's frail state, Syaoran felt concern for her and felt a little guilty. But, then he remembered that she'd slapped him, and his anger returned. If she collapsed, then it was her own damn fault.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." Tomoyo apologised softly.
Sakura stared at the floor in front of her and didn't look up for a few moments. Tomoyo murmured something softly to her, and she awkwardly shifted her gaze to meet Syaoran's. He still seemed angry with her, and she was scared he was going to hurt her later.
"Forgive me for my unruly behaviour," Sakura apologised, "I'm sorry to have upset you."
Syaoran eyed her for a minute, and Eriol looked at him expectantly.
He sighed, "Whatever."
Tomoyo smiled, "Sakura's going to go have something to eat," she said, "Would you mind if I spoke to you for a moment?" she asked Syaoran.
Eriol stood, "I'll assist Sakura to the dining hall. I'll be back shortly." He said, understanding that Tomoyo wanted to speak with Syaoran alone. He left and walked with Sakura down the hall.
Syaoran sighed, "Have a seat."
Tomoyo took a seat across from Syaoran and smoothed out her skirt. "I heard about what happened the other night." She said with a gentle smile.
"I see." He replied.
"Please, may I ask that you be less harsh on her? She's frightened." Tomoyo requested.
He made an inward face, "She's my wife-I'll do what I want."
She smiled sadly, "I'm sure you're not really as harsh as you let on, and we both know that we don't want her to take her life. So please, let her relax a little."
Hearing her sad and sincere words, he didn't think he'd be able to say no. He needed Sakura alive, so he decided he should follow her advice. "Alright, I won't be so hard on her." He said reluctantly.
"Thank you. She's my only sister, and she's very dear to me. Please understand that I don't want to see her so sad." Tomoyo continued to smile.
He nodded, and as Eriol walked in Tomoyo stood. "Is it alright if I spend some more time with Sakura? I think it might help to cheer her up." She asked.
"Sure, I don't mind at all." Eriol replied.
Tomoyo left and Eriol sat back down with Syaoran. "So, what are you going to do?" he asked.
"I decided I should allow her to settle down first." Syaoran replied unhappily.
"Good." Eriol smiled, satisfied with the outcome.
"I don't know what to do with her." He muttered.
"Give her some space-see what happens." Eriol shrugged.
"Yeah, whatever."
…
After spending some more time with her sister, Tomoyo and Eriol left, which meant that Sakura was now left alone with Syaoran once again. They sat at the dinner table in silence, and she still felt scared of what he would do to her. So far, he hadn't done anything, but she kept her guard up nonetheless.
Dinner had finished, and the maids took away their plates and dishes. Still, they sat in silence. She stared at her hands that rested on the table, and suddenly felt his over hers. It was as if it was meant to be a warm gesture, but she didn't know. He stood and left the table without saying anything, and she watched with surprise as he left.
She decided to wander the house and get used to her surroundings. She missed her old home, but she didn't mind her new residence. The large arched windows were covered by red curtains, and the walls were painted crème. Exotic chandeliers hung from the ceiling with candles in the sconces, and the carpet was a deep red and her feet sunk into it with each step. The banisters at the stairs were polished to a perfect shine, and she slid down to the bottom of the stairs once she was sure no one was looking.
After having her fun, she made her way to the lounge with her embroidery and sat down. Syaoran was reading, and she didn't particularly feel like talking to him. She knew that she'd have to sleep in the same bed as him that night, and she hoped that he wouldn't try and force her into doing anything again. She was still frightened out of her mind about that. She set her mind to her task, and carefully created each stitch.
Syaoran looked up from his book and watched Sakura as she gracefully made each stitch in the material, creating silver patterns on red satin of vines and ivy.
She has a seriously practiced hand… he thought to himself as he watched her for a while.
He returned to reading his book, and they continued to sit in silence for another few hours. When he finally looked back up and noticed the time on the clock-it was rather late. He looked over at Sakura who had fallen asleep and he sighed. He stood and walked over to her and shook her shoulder.
"Hey, wake up." He said.
She didn't rouse from her sleep, so he carefully pried the needle and material from her hands and set it gently on the table. He gently lifted her into his arms, careful not to wake her, and carried her back to the bedroom.
On the way, she woke and was surprised to find herself in his arms. She was so surprised she squirmed, and he nearly dropped her.
"Careful-I could have dropped you!" he snapped.
She clutched her chest and took in a few deep breaths, and when she calmed he placed her down. They weren't too far from the bedroom, and she held her arm. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled stiffly.
"Thank you for your kindness." She said, and then hurried to the bedroom.
He followed after her, and as he entered the bedroom he shut the door behind him. She looked uncomfortable again, and she looked at the bed and then back to him. He seemed to get the hint and he shook his head.
"Get ready for bed." He said, and then walked into the bathroom.
While he was in the bathroom, she walked over to the chest of draws and opened one of the draws. Inside were her sleeping garments and underwear, so she pulled out one of her white satin nightgowns and began to undress. She pulled the gown over her head and picked up her clothes, folding them neatly and then putting them in the clothes basket before slipping into bed.
She could hear the shower running, so she closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep, but as soon as the water stopped running she felt extremely tense. He walked out wearing pants but no shirt, and placed his clothes in the clothes basket before turning off the lights and slipping in beside Sakura. She could feel his warmth against her back and couldn't relax. He seemed to be able to sense her discomfort.
"How much sleep have you had?" he asked.
Sakura felt surprised by the question. Why did he care? "…A few hours…" she replied quietly.
"I'll have a doctor come over and see you tomorrow." He said, and that was the last thing she heard from him for the rest of the night.