Hey everyone! As usual, thanks for reading ;)
Sakura stared at the fire, watching the flames flicker and dance. Syaoran was pestering her to call her mother more often and she wasn't sure why he cared so much. She hated it.
She looked up as Syaoran walked in and he nodded to the half-made blanket on her lap. "Is that for Carla?" he asked.
She nodded. "I wanted to make her something. It's not much, but..."
He placed a gentle hand on her head and she looked up at him as he pulled away. "I'm sure she'll love it."
Sakura felt her cheeks turn pink and she looked down. "How is she? Is she okay?"
Syaoran smiled softly. "Carla is doing fine. There's no infection present and her wounds are healing well."
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness."
Syaoran watched her carefully for a moment and then looked down at the newspaper in his hands. "I'm going to be late home from work tomorrow. One of my younger patients is having a delicate operation done, so I'll be there until I'm certain there is no trouble."
Sakura looked up with worry. "A delicate operation? What's wrong...?"
"He's got a brain tumour." He answered.
"Oh no..." she gasped. "Will he...?"
Syaoran looked up and met her worried emerald eyes. She really was a kind-hearted woman. "Hopefully he'll be okay. I can't say for certain if he will."
Sakura nodded a little and she returned her focus to the blanket in front of her. She wanted to do something for the kids in the hospital, too, but there wasn't much she could do.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
Sakura was quiet for a moment. She opened her mouth several times to speak but couldn't find the words. Syaoran waited patiently, watching her gently.
"Are any of the kids sick due to any magic related reasons?" she asked quietly.
He blinked. "A couple of them are, but they'll be okay. In fact, two of them are being discharged tomorrow."
Sakura sighed softly. "I see..."
"You seem troubled more than usual." He murmured. "Did you fall and hit your head on something?"
"Oh, shut up." She mumbled.
He smiled. "By the way, we have a party to attend the evening after tomorrow."
Sakura looked at him with surprise. "When did you find this out?"
"Oh, I've known for quite a while now. I just forgot to tell you." He shrugged as he turned the page.
"...Did you order something from the tailors...?" she asked suspiciously, praying she wasn't going to be stuck in another rose-pink gown.
"No. I decided you could choose something from your existing wardrobe." He answered, "Why don't you like rose? It looks stunning on you."
Sakura felt her cheeks heat up and she couldn't find her words. He had complimented her. A compliment!
"I-I just don't." She stammered, not willing to tell him of her past.
He looked at her sceptically. "Sure, whatever you say. Does it have something to do Dimitri?"
She was silent and wouldn't meet his gaze. Sakura stood and set her things to the side. "I'm going to head to bed now."
"Okay." He answered, "I'm going to do the same shortly."
Sakura just nodded and left the room.
Syaoran stared after her, feeling concern and worry for her. She'd been kidnapped, she'd been stabbed in the shoulder and she had witnessed a child she cared for get severely wounded, each incident only a few weeks apart. He had been keeping a close eye on her since the incidents, worried she might try something stupid. He just hoped that nothing else happened for the time being.
He was also concerned about the relationship between her and her mother. It was clear to him right from the beginning that Sakura wasn't aware of the real reason for their marriage-he doubted she'd even connected the dots that her former physician was his father.
Ironically, he knew more about Sakura than she knew about him. However, he had been so shocked by her behaviour that during their first few weeks of marriage, he had wondered if she was the same girl.
'There's so much about her I don't know...' he thought to himself. For example, he didn't know who Dimitri was to Sakura, and she seemed to loathe him. He wondered if part of the reason he didn't know much about Sakura was because he had allowed her to distance herself from him.
But...
Things were changing. He just hoped it was for the better.
…
Sakura slumped over the bed, burying her face in the soft pillow. She hated to admit it, but she was coming to realise that she was attracted to her husband after all. And that scared her.
But she didn't want to get hurt again. She didn't think she could take it.
But still...lately, the way he looked at her had changed. His expression was softer, and he seemed...gentler.
She had noticed it when he apologised about his behaviour towards her, when he had apologised for threatening her with rape. But...she couldn't trust him yet. He was just like every other male-too enraptured with their own ego, and just wanted sex. He wanted to control her to suit his own whims.
And she refused to let him.
But even so, some part of her wanted him to smile just for her, to hold her even. She shook her head and stood from the bed.
'I'm being delusional. I must be tired.' She decided.
Yes. That was it. She was just tired, and that was why she was feeling such things. With a soft sigh, she unlaced her bodice and pulled her dress over her head, leaving her in her sheer under dress and underwear.
She pulled the lightweight underdress over her head just as the door opened and she froze, looking over.
Her face turned an intense shade of red and Syaoran froze in his tracks.
"I-"
"Get OUT!" she shouted as she covered her bare chest with her article of clothing.
"Oh, calm down, I've seen it all before." He sighed.
"That's beside the point! Never walk in on a lady while she's changing!" she snapped.
"What's your problem? We're married anyway."
"Don't you have any decency! Get out! Out!" she cried.
Muttering something under his breath, he closed the door and she tried to calm her racing heart. It was true he had seen her bare of clothing when she'd been sick a while back, but even so, that didn't mean he could just walk in on her!
She hurried to get dressed into her sleepwear and she sighed heavily, her face still bright red. "Y-you can come in now." She called out.
A moment later, the door opened and Syaoran walked in. She completely avoided his gaze as she climbed into bed and lay on her side, and it wasn't long before Syaoran joined her, and they both lay in silence in the dark. Eventually, Sakura fell asleep.
...
Carla was playing with some of her dolls as Sakura watched her. A couple of the other girls were playing with her.
Sakura smiled. She was glad to see that Carla was recovering well and that the children were helping her as much as they could.
"My Lady, is something on your mind?" Lucy asked kindly.
Sakura looked up, "Why do you ask?"
"Sorry, it's just that you had this distant look on your face while watching the children." Lucy smiled.
Sakura sighed. "It's my mother." She confessed, "I haven't been talking to her since I got married."
Lucy sat down beside her. "Did something happen between the two of you?"
"I guess you could say that. She married me and my sister off for financial reasons. I... always dreamed of marrying someone I loved, not some stranger." Sakura confessed.
"You don't love Lord Li?" Lucy asked.
Sakura grimaced. "I... don't hate him..."
"But you don't love him either."
"I'm not sure how I feel about him, to be honest. One minute I want to hit him, the next I want him to hold me." Sakura mumbled quietly. "I'm so confused."
Lucy smiled softly. "I'm sure you'll figure it out with time."
"Even so, I can't forgive my mother. She married me off to better her own situation." Sakura whispered, "I'm not an object. I'm human!"
Lucy was quiet for a moment. "Maybe she did it for you. You said you were having financial issues, right? I'm sure she was worried about your future."
"My mother knew I didn't care for money. I didn't care if I married a man from the lower class-my father was from a poor family..." Sakura sighed. "I'm sorry, you don't need to hear my problems. You have plenty of your own."
"It's fine. You do so much for the kids, so I don't mind. If I can help you even by just listening to you, then I'd like to." Lucy said kindly.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Sakura said as she stood, "I should be heading home now."
Lucy stood with her, "Of course, thank you for coming."
"I'll see you later during the week, I hope." Sakura said, "I'm not sure when I'll see you next."
"It's fine!" Lucy laughed, "Do tell your husband how grateful we are for his help with Carla though."
Sakura smiled, "Of course."
After saying goodbye to the children, Sakura headed home. She had chosen to head home while it was still light out-she didn't particularly want to invite any unsavoury attention to herself. After all, her shoulder was still healing, and she didn't want any more new injuries.
Once she got home, she shivered. The house was cold. Tired, she headed for the lounge to sit down and organise the blanket for Carla. She was nearly finished, and she was hoping to have it to Carla by the end of the week for her birthday.
With a smile on her face, she walked into the lounge where the fire was going. But something caught her eye. There was material in the fire place.
Sakura felt immediate dread.
"Please no," she whispered as she walked closer.
She searched the room for the blanket she'd been working so hard on, but she couldn't find it.
"No, no please..."
Tears blurred her vision as she got a closer look in the fire. It was the blanket she'd been working on.
Mira walked in and gasped, "Oh goodness, what's wrong?" she asked, and then noticed the fire. "Oh...was that important? I swear it was an accident-I was just trying to move it somewhere safer."
Sakura wiped her tears and smiled awkwardly. "It's okay Mira. I'm sure you're telling the truth."
Mira nodded, "Call if you need me."
Sakura watched her leave with a sense of foreboding. She had a feeling that Mira didn't like her for some reason.
...
Syaoran cracked his neck as he walked through the front door. It had been a long and hard day at the hospital, but thankfully the child he had been operating on had survived the surgery and there didn't seem to be any issues that were showing yet. So, that was a relief.
The house was quiet, but he wasn't surprised given that it was eleven thirty. He was looking forward to a good night's sleep, and he made a mental note not to wake Sakura.
He walked towards the room but stopped when he noticed the light in the lounge. He frowned and walked in, finding Sakura sitting in the seat in tears. Immediate worry surfaced in him and he hurried over to her.
"Sakura, what's wrong? Is your shoulder hurting you?" he said quickly.
She lifted her head a little, and then shook her head as more tears slid down her cheeks.
He placed his hands on her arms gently. "Sakura, what is it? Talk to me."
She swallowed hard. "It's the blanket I was working on for Carla." She croaked, "I think Mira threw it into the fire."
Syaoran frowned. "What makes you think that?"
"I got home from seeing the children, and I found it in the fire. Mira said it was an accident, that she was just trying to move it to a better place." She whispered.
Realisation dawned on Syaoran and he sighed heavily.
"It didn't need to be moved, Syaoran. It was where I always left it." She said as more tears slid down her cheeks.
"I know, sweetheart." He murmured softly. Sakura didn't catch his use of endearment.
"I don't know what I did to upset her, but...that blanket was for Carla...I was going to give it to her for her birthday and as a get-well gift. Who does that to a child?"
Syaoran stood and pulled her to her feet and into a hug. He decided he'd need to have a talk to Mira the next morning. He could deal with her flirting with him, but doing anything to upset Sakura was going too far. The only issue was that he had no proof.
Sakura cried into his shirt as he held her, and it was past midnight when she finally calmed enough. She pulled away and wiped her tears on her sleeve. "I'm sorry. You've had a long day, and you must-"
He stopped her from talking by placing a gentle finger against her lips. "Don't apologise. You're my wife."
She felt her cheeks turn red with embarrassment.
When she didn't say anything, he smiled. "Let's get to bed."
She nodded, and they headed out of the lounge together, headed for the bedroom. Sakura looked at Syaoran warily and he headed into the bathroom. Unsure if he had done that because he needed to or if it was just to give her privacy, Sakura quickly changed and crawled into bed. Syaoran returned after a moment and changed into something more comfortable before slipping in beside her.
…
Sakura woke in the morning to find that during the night, Syaoran had slipped his arm over her waist. She was snuggled against him, and the moment she realised, she completely froze.
"So, you're awake." Syaoran murmured.
Sakura felt her face turn bright red. "Uh...umm..."
"You sleep like a log." He said dully.
She frowned. "We had a late night." She mumbled.
He retracted his arm. "That's true."
Sakura remembered what had happened the night before and she felt a mixture of sadness and anger.
Syaoran noticed her pained expression and sighed softly. "Do you think you'll be able to start a new blanket and get it finished in time for Carla's birthday?"
She was quiet for a moment, but then spoke. "I might be able to, but with very little sleep."
"Maybe you should try." He suggested. "You can leave it in my office when you aren't working on it."
She looked at him with surprise. "Are you sure?"
"I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise. So, will you try?"
Sakura smiled. "I'd like to."
He nodded. "Just don't work yourself too hard."
"Thank you." Sakura replied.
Syaoran got up and dressed, "I'll see you in the dining hall. I have something I need to do first." He told her.
"Okay." Sakura replied.
Syaoran opened the bedroom door and left to look for Mira. He found her cleaning the entrance hall, and with a sigh he approached her.
Mira looked up and smiled, "Good morning, My Lord. How can I help you?"
Syaoran narrowed his eyes, "It's about your so called blunder with Sakura's blanket she was working on."
"Oh, yes, I'm very sorry-"
"If you make such a mistake again, I will fire you. I won't tolerate such terrible housework. Understand?" Syaoran cut across her sharply.
Mira looked taken aback. "My Lord, I-"
"I don't want to hear your excuses, Mira. If you touch or move any of Sakura's projects again, I won't hesitate to throw you out." Syaoran hissed, and then left her standing completely shocked.
Sakura looked over when he entered the dining hall and raised her brow. "Everything okay?"
He gave her a quick smile. "Everything is fine."
Sakura watched him for a moment and then turned her attention to her meal as it was placed in front of her. She shrugged, and then started eating.
...
Sakura was dressed in an emerald green gown with beautiful silver embroidery of flowers and vines for the party they were attending that evening. Syaoran was off speaking with some others, so she was standing alone by one of the walls. As it was a work-related party, Tomoyo wasn't there and neither was Eriol, so it was terribly boring. She wished she was back home working on the new blanket for Carla. She sighed and picked up her glass of champagne to take a sip.
"Oh, well if it isn't Sakura."
Sakura felt unpleasant shivers run up her spine and she turned to see the person she hated most.
"Dimitri." She murmured.
He looked her over and smiled. "You're looking a bit worn out. Is your husband making sure to keep you in bed as long as possible?" he sneered, "Maybe you should become my mistress as well."
SLAP.
Dimitri looked at her, shocked. Then, anger surfaced, and he grabbed her arm painfully tight. "You little bitch! How DARE you lay a hand on me, you wench!"
Sakura was about to retort, but Syaoran pulled her back against him.
"Is something the matter?" Syaoran asked Dimitri.
"Yes. You need to control your wife better! The bitch slapped me." Dimitri spat.
Syaoran raised his brow. "I'm sure you deserved it, then."
Dimitri's face turned red with rage. "How DARE you imply-"
"Telling her she should become your mistress is no way to treat a beautiful young woman such as Sakura. No wonder she despises you. Do you treat your female patients the same, I wonder? You know that's frowned upon in this profession." Syaoran said just loud enough for others around them to hear.
Whispers erupted around them. Sakura noticed Dimitri was getting looks of disgust and horror.
"I can't believe you'd be so unfaithful to your wife. You disgust me." Syaoran spat the last few words.
Dimitri was momentarily stunned, and then he sneered. "You should know she's a terrible wife by now. She can't do anything right, and she likes doing things no woman should be doing. I have no doubt she was no longer a virgin long before you married her."
Sakura felt enraged. "How dare you! I'm not a prostitute!"
Syaoran kept his arm firmly around her waist to keep Sakura from doing anything stupid, and partly to stop himself from punching the man's lights out. He loathed how Dimitri spoke about her, and he felt disgusted with himself for having once acted the same way. Sakura was not an object to be used and abused.
Dimitri snickered. "Let me know when you get bored of her. I'll gladly take her."
"That won't ever happen." Syaoran replied flatly. "Come, Sakura. It's time we headed home."
As Sakura turned, Dimitri lashed out and grabbed her injured shoulder painfully tight, his fingers digging into the wound and reopening it. Sakura screamed in pain, gaining everyone's attention.
"Get off her!" Syaoran shouted.
Dimitri smirked and dug his fingers further into her wound making her scream in agony.
Someone from the crowd tackled Dimitri to the floor. "If that's how you treat injured people, I'd hate to know how you treat your patients!"
Murmurs and shouts of agreement sounded around them. Syaoran hurriedly pulled Sakura over to a seat to get her seated safely before she passed out from the pain, and he looked up as a familiar face approached.
"Yamazaki."
"Hey," he breathed, "I saw what happened. Anything I can help with?"
"If you wouldn't mind tending to Sakura's shoulder for me, that would be wonderful."
Yamazaki nodded. A maid hurried through the crowd carrying medical supplies, and Yamazaki accepted them with a thank you. He used a pair of surgical scissors to cut through the fabric of her dress and examine the wound.
"This is a nasty wound." He commented.
"A couple of thugs stabbed her in the back a couple of weeks ago." Syaoran murmured. "Sakura, are you still with us?"
"I'll be fine, Syaoran. You don't have to worry." She smiled weakly, but she was very pale.
"Yes, I do." He replied.
She just sighed.
Yamazaki finished tending to her wound and he smiled, "Did you know that surgical scissors-"
"Oh, don't you go telling those lies of yours again, Takashi!" A young woman with brown hair and honey brown eyes cut across him. She was dressed in a pale-yellow dress.
"But-"
"No."
Sakura smiled. "Thank you for your help, doctor."
"It was my pleasure." Yamazaki smiled.
Syaoran slid his jacket around Sakura's shoulders and helped her stand. "We'll be leaving now. I'll see you at work."
"Stay safe."
Syaoran walked Sakura carefully away from the hall and to the carriage, helping her in. He sat beside her and she leant her head against his shoulder, tired.
"I'm sorry about Dimitri," she whispered.
"It's alright. You had every right to be angry." He replied softly.
"Your reputation isn't ruined because of me, is it?" she asked fearfully.
He smiled. "While I'm flattered you're worried, you don't need to be. I'm very well-known and respected in what I do."
"I'm relieved, then."
"However, I think Dimitri just completely shattered his reputation to smithereens." Syaoran added.
Sakura laughed a little. "He shouldn't have been so arrogant then."
"He shouldn't have treated you as an object." He murmured. "I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"I used to treat you the same way. I'm quite disgusted with myself." He admitted.
She smiled. "Take me somewhere nice to make up for it, then."
"Are you sure? That's it?"
"Your attitude is adjusting, so yes."
He smiled. "Okay then."
...
Sakura spent a lot of her nights up late working on Carla's gift over the next week. Syaoran kept a close eye on her and her shoulder, which he was sure was causing her a lot of pain even though she didn't show it.
However, it was all worth it, because Carla loved the blanket so much, she carried it with her everywhere she went.
However, over the course of the next few weeks, Syaoran made sure she got the proper amount of sleep she needed, and he took care of her shoulder. Though, one day when he walked into the lounge, he spotted Sakura with a pencil and a pad of paper, drawing.
He frowned. "What are you doing?" he demanded.
Sakura jumped to her feet and hid it behind her back. He wasn't sure what annoyed him more-the fact that Sakura still didn't trust him or that he still didn't know her very well despite being together for five months.
"It's nothing." She said quickly.
"If it's nothing, then why are you hiding it?" he retorted.
"Don't worry. You'll never see me do it again." Sakura said.
"Sakura." He said in a low voice.
"Really, I promise I won't do it again." She said as she quickly left the room.
Syaoran frowned and walked over to the table to see she had been working on an intricate drawing. So that was what she meant.
But why did she think he'd get mad at her for drawing? It was harmless. At least, he thought so anyway.
He shook his head. One minute it seemed like they were getting along fine, and the next she was distancing herself again.
'I'll never understand that woman.' He thought irritably.
He broke away from his thoughts when the phone rang. Syaoran picked it up and answered, "Hello?"
"Hello, this is detective Sakai from the homicide unit, am I speaking with Lord Li?"
Syaoran frowned. Homicide unit? What?
"Yes, how can I help you, detective?" He replied.
"Ah, well you see..."
Syaoran felt shock and dread when he heard the detectives next words. Oh god. Why? Why now?
...
Sakura looked up from where she sat in the gardens as Syaoran approached her. He looked troubled, and so she got ready to make some excuse about her drawing.
He sat down beside her, "It's getting cold. You should come inside."
"I'm okay." She replied.
Syaoran sighed softly. "I got a call from a detective from the Homicide Investigation Unit."
Sakura raised her brow. "How come? Was one of your patients killed?"
He shook his head. "No, no, my patients are all fine..."
Sakura sensed something was wrong. "What is it?" she asked hesitantly.
He clenched his fists. How could he tell her such sad news? "Sakura...oh god, I'm so sorry..." he said with a pained voice.
"Syaoran, what is it? you're worrying me."
He looked up at her and met her gaze. "It's your mother. She's been murdered."
Sakura sat in shock, unable to absorb the news. Then, she laughed coldly. "Oh, very funny Syaoran. Just because you caught me drawing, that doesn't mean you can torture me like this!" she shouted.
"Sakura, I'm not lying-"
"Shut up!" she shrieked, "You're so cruel!"
She ran from him and he reached out after her, "Wait!"
Sakura didn't stop. She kept running until she reached the stables, saddled up the horse and then headed straight to Tomoyo's. But when she got there, Tomoyo was in tears being comforted by Eriol who had a solemn look on his face.
...
Standing in front of her mother's grave, Sakura felt numb. She hadn't been able to shed any tears yet, unable to accept the horrifying truth. Her mother was really gone.
She didn't know how long she'd been standing there for. Perhaps it had been hours, but she didn't care.
"Sakura." Syaoran called her name gently.
Dark clouds were closing in and thunder rumbled overhead.
"We should head home. It's about to start raining." He said softly.
Sakura's body started to tremble, and finally the dam broke free. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she sobbed.
"I've been such a terrible daughter," she cried, "I never called her. The last time I spoke with her, we had a fight."
"I'm sure she didn't think of you as being a terrible daughter, Sakura." Syaoran said softly.
She turned to him, "I don't want her to think I hated her," she sobbed, "I don't want her to think I didn't love her."
Syaoran wrapped her in his arms and held her as she cried. Even when the rain started, he didn't part from her.
"Dimitri was right about me," she whispered.
He frowned. "No, he isn't."
"You don't understand," she whispered, "I hate myself so much. I can't do anything right-the only things I'm good at aren't even things that are useful! I can't cook as well as Tomoyo or Ami, I can't clean without breaking something!"
Syaoran stood, shocked at her outbursts.
"I believed that if you thought I was a terrible person, it would be better-putting up with abuse was easier than letting you see who I really am! I'm scared, Syaoran. I'm confused…"
"I don't know what to do, Syaoran." She whispered as she looked up at him.
Syaoran looked into her eyes. He didn't know what to do or say to help her feel better. Everything she had just told him made him painfully aware that… She was terrified. But, terrified of what, exactly?
Her eyes landed on his lips and she felt her eye lids grow heavy. It seemed like his body moved on its own as he leant into her, pressing his lips against hers.
…
They stumbled through the bedroom door in a frenzy, kissing each other and pulling at each other's clothes. The back of Sakura's knees hit the bed and she fell back into the soft silk sheets with Syaoran nestled between her legs. The front of her bodice was loose, and the tops of her breasts showed.
"Syaoran..."
He froze as his name escaped her lips. Syaoran pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his unkempt hair.
Sakura sat up with a look of confusion. "What is it?"
"We shouldn't. You're not ready." He said.
Sakura looked hurt.
"You're grieving, Sakura. You just want comfort, and that's understandable. But doing this...you'll regret it later. And I don't want it to be something you'll regret." He explained. "I want you to love me."
Then, he got up and headed for the bathroom.
Sakura sat there with his words sinking in. He was right-she was just seeking comfort, and she felt so ashamed of her actions. He was looking after her again. She curled up into a ball and cried her heart out, while Syaoran listened.
...
It was bright and sunny the next morning. Sakura groaned as she rolled over, trying to get away from the sun.
"My Lady, Lord Syaoran is waiting for you in the dining hall." Mira said as she walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out a dress for Sakura to wear.
Sakura opened her eyes and looked over at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 8 o'clock. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She recalled the events from the previous night and her face turned bright red. She made a mental note to thank Syaoran for stopping her, but she didn't think she could show her face to him just yet. She couldn't believe she had broken down like that-it was pitiful. She loathed herself for it.
Unfortunately, though she had to face him.
She stood from the bed and Mira helped her get dressed before being dismissed. Slowly, Sakura made her way down to the dining hall. She was nervous, and her face was beet red, her heart thundering in her chest.
She took in a deep breath and released it slowly, then entered.
Syaoran was sitting at the table reading a letter that she assumed had something to do with work. She sat down, and he neatly placed it back inside the envelope before looking up at her.
"How are you feeling today?" he asked.
"B-better, thank you." She stammered.
He watched her for a minute, and then nodded. They sat in an awkward silence that felt almost stifling until Sakura finally managed to gain the courage to speak.
"Um, Syaoran?"
"What is it?"
"Er...About last night... I'm sorry and thank you for what you did." She said, "I really appreciate it."
He smiled. "So, your mind isn't overrun by grief anymore?"
She shook her head. "No. It still hurts, and I'm sure it will for a while, but I'm thinking clearly."
"Well, that's good to hear." Syaoran replied.
This, personally, is one of my favourite chapters. I had a lot of fun writing it. Tell me what you think and your thoughts about what happens :)