December 1957
Christmas was coming and for the second year she was not finding any joy in the season. Last Christmas was spent helping to care for her dying daughter. Any hope had been long since dimmed and if not for Timothy, the day may have passed without any fanfare.
Instead the celebration happened quite subdued. Timothy opened gifts that his Mum was too sick to purchase herself. He played carols on the piano. There was food and sweets which seemed to have appeared daily on the doorstep.
What she remembered most of that day was the love. The love that they all felt for Marianne and she for them. Now the memory of that love is what keeps her going day after day.
Now almost a year later she was facing another Christmas this one though would be without her daughter.
One evening the phone rang, answering she smiled until she heard what he had to say.
"Granny, Dad's gone mad. He stole my dinner and gave it to some old lady."
"Stole what?"
"I was eating my chips and he took them right out of my hands."
"Timothy, let me speak to Granny," Patrick said in the background.
"Here he wants to talk to you," Timothy said somewhat glumly.
"What's all this?" she asked.
"I was called to a woman who was malnourished and living in a hollow. I had to give her the only food on hand," Patrick explained, "We did go back to the Chippy on the way home."
"You aren't eating at the Chippy every night I hope."
"No, it was the housekeeper's day off. Timothy was supposed to be calling to invite you to his nativity play the Thursday before Christmas not to complain about me."
"Nativity play! I certainly can't miss that. Patrick, if you need help all you need is to ask."
"I thought you wanted us to make our own way."
"I will help when need be. What I won't do is move in and become a mother instead of Granny. I am happy to send a dish now and again or keep Timothy anytime. If you need help because the housekeeper has a day off then I will help. Now tell me about this Nativity play."
"I'll put Tim on."
She spoke to Timothy who explained that he would be playing the violin. He went on to say that the mayor was invited. Less enthusiastically he mentioned that the brownies would be joining the cubs.
"Well that sounds wonderful what cub wants to play the Virgin Mary!"
"Granny will you come?"
"Of course Timothy dear, I wouldn't miss it."
The conversation ended and she suddenly felt glad about the season.
She began receiving frequent phone calls from Timothy complaining about Patrick. In an odd way she took these as a good sign. Timothy finding fault with Patrick meant he was worrying about petty things. When he first lost his Mum, he clung to his Dad and feared losing him. Now he sounded as if he was ready to send him away.
Some of the complaints included…'he was late picking me up at cubs', 'he could not find a tea towel for cubs', 'he forget to set out dinner money', 'he fell asleep and was too tired to read to me'….
None were in itself a concern, but it was clear that Patrick was still working too hard and struggling to care for Timothy alone. Nonetheless her grandson was clothed, fed and healthy and she knew without question loved.
The day arrived and she sat in the audience at the parish hall. The others looked to be parents and grandparents. She even noticed a small group of sisters, she knew to be the ones that Patrick worked with. Who she did not see in the audience was Patrick. She hoped that circumstances would not prevent him from attending.
When all the children filed in she was filled with pride over Timothy's violin playing. She knew Marianne had taught him as well as the piano. He would always have the music to keep his Mummy in his heart.
She noticed that Timothy too was looking for Patrick. Tim had seen her so he knew she was in the audience, but not his father. Then she saw a smile wash over his face. Looking around she saw Patrick run in and take a seat. She also saw the smile exchanged with his son. Timothy may complain, but those two will be alright, she thought.
The play was short, but sweet. After the play Timothy introduced her to his friend, Jack. Patrick seemed trapped across the room and she often heard, "Hello Dr. Turner." "Lovely job he did Dr. Turner." "Plays like an angel he does, Dr. Turner."
She stood by as Timothy received his share of compliments. More than one of the nuns praised him as well as his cubs leader. She was quite a sight being quite a tall woman.
She noticed her talking to Patrick and wondered if there was something there, but dismissed it when he referred to her as nurse. She then felt foolish when a man lovingly greeted the nurse.
Eventually the room cleared and the three of them came together.
"There should be a dish in the oven tonight. Come join us and we will drive you home later," Patrick invited.
"That sounds lovely."
At the flat, Patrick set the table. She noticed that the housekeeper seemed to keep things tidy for the two bachelors. They had a small tabletop tree which she commented on.
"Dad kept saying he was busy, but I insisted."
"It is a lovely little tree, I must admit that I do not have a tree."
At the table, Patrick asked, "What are your plans for Christmas?"
"I do not want to go to Betty's house. I am just not read for that brood. Not this year."
"Come spend Christmas with us. You could even stay over. Then if I have to go out Tim will not be alone."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh yes! And you can cook too!" Timothy responded.
"Looks like it's set then," she could not argue with Timothy's excitement
"Marvelous," Timothy said very pleased.
Christmas came and Granny stayed. They had hens as a turkey would be too big for the three of them. They had crackers and a dish of Quality Street. It was too much to hope for Patrick to stay home the whole day.
When he came back, he had a package that he held up to Timothy.
"Sister Bernadette told me that I should stop at Nonnatus House for some of Mrs. B's treats.
"Splendid!" Timothy exclaimed.
"Did all go well with the mother and baby?" Granny asked concerned.
"Yes, both are fine. Just a few stitches. He was a rather large Christmas present, but Sister is one of our best midwives and knows when I am needed."
A lot went unspoken that Christmas day. Timothy seemed happy enough with his Dad and Granny. When he was tucked up in the bed he would share with Patrick for the night he was happy.
Patrick returned to the sitting room and said, "Well we made it through."
"Sorry?"
"Our first one without…"
"Yes, I was dreading it myself. It did turn out to be lovely in a quiet way."
"I was worried that Christmas would undo all the progress he had made. I was told that children are very resilient. I suppose that is true. He seems to have had a happy Christmas."
"Who told you that about children being resilient?"
"Sister Bernadette, she lost her mother when she was young."
"Well she sounds very wise."
"Indeed," Patrick said with a contemplative look on his face.
She slept in Timothy's small bed and felt glad for the resilience that all three of them had. They were a family and they had love for each other and that would have to be enough.