All previous disclaimers apply.
Author's Note: I'd appreciate any feedback. I think I know where this is going now and I'm pretty happy with it, but as this is only the second story I've done any work on in a long time I would really appreciate any thoughts, encouragements, or constructive criticisms. Thanks so much!
Logan couldn't take his eyes off of Steve as they sat at the dinner table that evening. When he'd first agreed to join the staff at Xavier's, teaching the children as well as being a part of the fighting force that had come to be affectionately known as the X-Men over the years, the communal meals were one of the things that made him most uncomfortable. Not that he'd excelled at social situations in any setting previous, but just the idea of sitting down to eat with so many disparate personalities just on the team added to more than two dozen children still combatting their fears of the world, themselves and being apart from their families, the their families were even supportive, for the first time was his idea of something very nearly his worst nightmare. He hadn't been one of Xavier's since his teenage years like so many of the others, was in fact older than Xavier. It was hard to reconcile what he had been in the past, those he'd killed, the wars he'd fought in, with the teacher he was now supposed to be. It was the lack of Steve in his life, he finally realized as he gazed at the man he'd loved so fiercely his mind had blocked the memories of him when he'd been lost just to keep him sane.
Logan could remember now. After Steve went down, their team, who had known how much they cared for each other almost before they did, and hadn't cared, had tried to keep him sane, to give him comfort, but it hadn't been enough. He'd been alternately wild and catatonic as he tried to process Steve's death. At one moment killing without mercy, the next sitting, staring directly in front of him. The commandos had been great friends to him in that time. Tried to keep him from killing someone he'd regret, cleaning him up when he was in one of his catatonic states. He couldn't handle their kindness and care anymore than he could handle Steve's loss. One day while they were all still sleeping, surrounding him to prevent exactly what he did, he'd snuck out and disappeared. Over the course of the next few months, lost in the woods somewhere in Europe, his mind had tried to protect him by making him forget everything about Steve. He forgot almost everything about the war on the whole, except the fact that he fought in it. He would have to ask if any of the commandos were even still alive. It was devastating to think that the men who'd been the best friends he'd ever had were probably all gone and that they'd never known what became of him. And that they'd never know how much he appreciated it and them.
It was a little discomforting to think that now the telepaths of the mansion knew exactly how he'd felt and exactly what his mind had done to keep him sane so long ago. His whole life laid out for them. The adults had been kind about it, though some of the younger ones couldn't yet look at him or Steve without blushing. He figured it would take them some time. They were as uncomfortable knowing his sex life and history as he was with them knowing it. Jean and the professor had gone into the youngest ones heads when they were helping them to rebuild their shields that afternoon and placed blocks on memories they shouldn't have to see and deal with yet. The blocks would naturally fade as they got older and their powers strengthened. When they were mature enough to see the things in Logan's long life that would give them nightmares now they would be able to remember and process them. It was hard to think that they'd all seen so much because he'd been so intensely private for so long, but in a way it was a relief. They'd seen it all and they still loved him. They were still his family.
"Hey," Steve pulled Logan out of his thoughts with a gentle hand set to his cheek, "You okay?"
"Yeah," Logan smiled at Steve softly, cupping the hand on his face in one of his own and turning a hand to press a gentle kiss to it, "Yeah, I am, sweetheart."
"Oh my god," Jubilee squealed softly from where she was sitting across from them at the large table, "You two are just too cute."
Steve blushed and ducked his head though Logan could see the small smile on his face and Logan rolled his eyes at the teenager he'd taken under his wing. She just winked and turned to Jean-Paul next to her to carry on their conversation. Logan chuckled a little and looked down the table at his family. For the most part they'd accepted Steve without a word when he'd introduced him. Most of them simply shook his hand, and after being told who he was, welcomed him with open arms. Ororo especially seemed to take to his quiet strength and they'd already started the beginning of a friendship, Logan could tell, bonding over Storm's gardens and Steve's love of green space. The same had happened with Kurt and Steve. The younger man and Steve had spoken German together for a little while, speaking of cities that they both loved and architecture that was still standing from the time Steve had been there to when Kurt was raised. In truth, Steve seemed easier with the young man, barely out of his teens, than almost anyone else at the mansion aside from the children and that had put Kurt right at his ease as well. Hank reminded Logan a lot of Falsworth now that he remembered him and he could tell the same was true for Steve. It put a little sad smile on his face, but it seemed like Steve would probably have good long conversations with him of the same kind that he'd had with the Brit they'd known and cared about. Remy had been shifty as he always was with new people. He'd warm up. Rogue was the same. Scott had been his normal, reserved self until he'd found out that Steve was Logan's long lost lover, then he'd seemed to relax.
The only notable exception was Jean. She'd been pretty noticeably cool to Steve when they were introduced and when he looked at her as he was sweeping the table he could see the frown on her face directed at them. He would have to figure out what her problem was sooner or later. As he watched her he wondered how he could have thought that he loved her. Sure, what he'd felt for her was strong, but it was nothing compared to what he felt for Steve. How he could have mistaken lust, intrigue, and challenge for anything like the feelings he held for the man sitting next to him he had no idea, but he wasn't going to dwell on it. The past was the past and through anything that happened now Steve would be by his side. And that was all he'd ever wanted or needed.
He reached over to lay his hand on the back of Steve's neck and rubbed gently, teasing the hair at Steve's nape with just the tips of his fingers. Steve's intake of breath was only loud enough for Logan to hear and Logan could practically feel him vibrating under his hand.
"Sweetheart?" He asked quietly and Steve shook his head.
"I'm fine, James…I…" He blushed and looked down. Logan followed his gaze and blinked hard when he noticed the telltale bulge beginning in Steve's khakis. He felt a sly smile spread across his face. Of course, their sexual compatibility had ben top notch when they were fighting together in the second world war. Their team had often teased them about it, covered for them more than once with the brass, protected them from being caught. More than once they'd come out of their room to their teammates groans and wolf whistles after a night of passion. Logan was looking forward to those days again, looking forward to being inside Steve again. He had to hold back a moan as his own erection began to inflate in his pants and was grateful for the strong jean fabric that would keep it from being noticeable.
Logan? Logan's head jerked up at the professor's voice in his head. He looked down the table to where the old man who had become such a great friend to him over so many years was looking at him with a slight smile on his face.
What's up, Chuck?
You're broadcasting, Logan. I have been able to place blocks so that no one else can hear. Your mind is much stronger with all of your memories fully intact. We will have to work on your own shields, if only to protect the other telepaths not yet strong enough to block you. But, that is a task for tomorrow. For now, you may want to take Steven to bed.
Chuck! Logan flashed a toothy grin at him. Didn't know you had it in you.
Well, I'm old, Logan. I'm not dead.
Logan nodded slightly and removed his hand from Steve's neck to link their fingers. He pressed a kiss to the back of their joined hands as he stood, pulling Steve up with him and careful to step and push Steve in such a way that the evidence of his arousal that would have embarrassed him had the others seen it was hidden from view.
"Goodnight, all." He called.
The various echoes of goodnights and welcomes made a blush crawl up Steve's neck to his ears fetchingly and he waved to all of them in his "Aw, shucks," endearing kind of fashion. The same way he'd told Logan he was attracted to him. The same way he told him that he loved him. Logan's heart filled with love and he couldn't help but lean into Steve, cupping his chiseled jaw in his hand and pressing a sweet kiss to his mouth. It was nothing that they hadn't seen Jean and Scott or Remy and Ororo do dozens of times but the students seemed to find it amusing if their catcalls and hoots of joy were anything to go by. Steve ducked his head adorably as Logan grinned back at his family, smiling at him. All except for Jean. Logan chose to ignore her. He was about to take the man he'd loved with a fierceness and purity he'd never known before or since to bed for the first time in decades. There was nothing that was going to make him second guess himself or stumble now. He pulled Steve out of the dining room and allowed the door to shut behind them. For a moment they simply looked at each other, then they burst out laughing, a pure and happy sound. Logan pulled Steve to him hard and their next kiss was much less chaste than the one that came before it. Their tongues melded and battled, as if there was a prize for the best combatant. Logan moaned when he felt Steve's hands in his hair, pulling just the way he liked as Logan wrapped his arms around Steve and cupped his ass in one big palm, pulling their pelvises closer together so that their erections would meet through the fabric of their pants. Steve's moan into his mouth was enough to make his knees weak and he broke the kiss.
They were like children, laughing happily as they ran up the stairs toward Logan's room. They stopped in the hall to make out like teenagers, rubbing against each other and pushing each other into walls. Steve giggled and whispered an "Oops," when his elbow went into the drywall.
"This is a school for mutants," Logan laughed, "It happens. We'll fix it tomorrow."
Steve nodded and they ran the rest of the way to Logan's room as if they were in a race. Steve beat Logan by only a moment and slipped into the room like a shadow just before Logan slipped in and slammed the door behind him. They both stood in the early evening light, staring at each other from across the room, chests heaving with more arousal than exertion. For a moment they were frozen, then as if lighting struck they were in each other's arms, tearing shirts from each other's bodies, laughing as they pulled off their pants and undergarments. By the time they couldn't resist each other anymore Steve still had on one sock and Logan's hair looked even more devilish. Steve grinned before moving in. He'd always appreciated the couple of inches that Logan had on him and he used it to his full advantage as he put a hand to Logan's chest, unable to resist running his hand through the hair he found there, slotted one of his legs in between both of Logan's so that their erections lined up, and began to kiss and nibble at his neck, just where he remembered made his lover fall apart. Logan moaned and wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulders.
"I can't believe I forgot how gorgeous you are," He moaned as Steve bit harshly on the juncture between his shoulder and neck, "How well you know me."
"Sometimes I would wake up from dreams," Steve murmured, "Sometimes they'd make me cry because all I wanted was for you to be with me, to hold me. Sometimes they would make me ache, missing this. It was never the only thing, but it was something…"
"Sweetheart," Logan lifted Steve's chin so that their eyes could meet, "There's no need to be ashamed. No need to be embarrassed. I would have missed this, too."
"It's been so long, James," Steve said quietly, "So long. Please, I need you inside me. I need you to prove to me that this is all real. That you're real. That we're together again. Please."
"Hey, now." Logan cupped Steve's face in both of his hands, "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart."
Steve breathed out on a sigh of relief as Logan kissed him gently, then swooped him up in his arms bridal style. It had been so long since anyone was able to make him feel small and taken care of, so long since he had wanted anyone to make him feel that way, that he melted in Logan's arms and kissed him again. He could feel Logan smiling against his lips and laughed softly when Logan lowered him to the bed, then slid onto it himself and on top of Steve. Steve opened his legs to take Logan between them and drew in his breath at the feel of his lover's body weight on top of him, their erections pressed against each other. He took a deep, shuddering breath at the sensation and smiled up at the man above him.
"I love you, James," he murmured.
"And I love you," Logan returned.
For a long time they simply laid together, their hips moving lazily as they explored each other with hands and mouths, relearning everything that they'd once known about each other. When Logan ran his fingers over Steve's nipples Steve fought hard to keep his moan in, but couldn't manage it. He skimmed his fingertips just over Logan's ribs in retaliation just the way he remembered driving Logan to distraction and Logan groaned from deep in his throat, his erection twitching against Steve's belly. Steve smiled up at him as he took a bottle of lotion out of his bedside table. It had been a long time, but the preparation didn't feel strange. It felt as if his body had only been waiting for Logan to return. Logan's fingers were not unknown to him and he threw his head back on a moan of pleasure when two of them brushed his prostate.
"I'm ready, James, please," he whispered after a time.
When Logan finally slid inside of him it was like coming home. They moved together in the dying light of the sunset as they once had. Logan's arms on either side of Steve's head, Steve's legs wrapped around his waist and one arm around his back, the other hand cupping Logan's backside to encourage him in his thrusting into Steve's body. Logan pushed Steve's hair out of his eyes with one hand and reached between their bodies for his erection with the other, his grunts of pleasure becoming more pronounced as his thrusts became rough and uneven. The cried their mutual pleasure into each other's mouths as they fell over the edge of pleasure together.
Later, after they'd cleaned themselves and were lying in Logan's bed, their legs entwined and barely and inch of space between their bare bodies they spoke for hours, all of the things they'd seen, all of the things they'd missed, relearning each other's minds as surely as they were relearning each other's bodies.
"You still dress like you're in the forties," Logan observed after a time.
"For a long time I was," Steve agreed, "I mean, my body was here, my mind…some of the time. But my heart was back in Europe at the end of the war. It felt like if I gave up everything I'd known from the era that I was giving up too much of myself. And I couldn't…I just…I'm on medication now," he admitted quietly, not looking up at Logan, "For depression. Looking back on everything it's something I probably would have been on in the forties if they'd known what people know now. At a much lower dose, of course, but my dark times were always so dark and I could never really see an end to them and…"
"Steve," Logan kissed him gently to quiet him, "Do you think it changes how I feel about you? I was there, remember? I saw the black moods that took over you for weeks at a time. I was the one coaxing you to eat. I get it. The medication means nothing if it helps you feel more like yourself. I just want you happy, sweetheart."
"It's getting better," Steve said, "Not so many black days. And now with you…I know I can't depend on you to be my happiness, James, but I just feel like it's going to be so much better now."
"You're my happiness, too, Steve," Logan assured him, "It's not going to be easy. There's so much that's different for both of us, but I'm willing to work for it, to fight for it, if you are."
Steve took Logan's hand in his and kissed his fingertips gently, "There's nothing I want more."