Chapter Three; Emendo

Emendo. Verb. 1. Correct, repair. , free from errors.

"Data to La Forge."

Geordi was so startled he dropped the PADD he was holding, and it clattered loudly onto the console in front of him. He fumbled for it as it bounced off the screen, and it slipped through his shaking fingers and tumbled to the floor.

"La Forge here." He picked the PADD up and straightened, listening intently to the com.

"I require your assistance with a technical matter."

"Okay, I'll be there in a moment. La Forge out." He cut the signal and handed off the PADD to Jensen. "Can you finish these calibrations? I'll be back in a bit."

"... Yes, sir." Jensen replied, scowling at the PADD.

He almost ran down the corridor, had to pause and take a breath. He buzzed at Data's quarters.

"Enter."

All of the eagerness drained from his body as the doors opened, to be replaced by a cold chill of nervousness. Everything in Data's quarters seemed perfectly normal, except for the android himself, who was sitting in the corner of the room with his back against the wall.

"Hello Geordi."

"Hey. You wanted me?" Geordi moved into the room far enough that the door would close, but didn't approach Data.

"Yes. I have been working on a design for an alteration to my circuitry to enable me to switch my emotion chip on and off whenever I require it."

"Okay. D'you really think that's necessary?"

Data looked up at him. "I would rather feel nothing than what I am feeling now. If I had been able to turn the chip off, then my abuse at Kivas Fajo's hands would not have affected me so profoundly. I am unable to return to my duties, and I am unable to enjoy my free time. I have had enough, I do not want these emotions."

Geordi sighed and sat on the couch. "Have you talked to Deanna about this?"

"I do not see why I should have to."

"Well, she's your Counselor. It's kinda her job."

Data closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. "I am sure that she would try to convince me not to make the modifications and strive instead to learn to adapt to these feelings. But that is a human way of behaving, to be forced to cope with negative emotion. As an android, why should I not choose to divest myself of these feelings so that I can regain my life?"

"Well, as I see it, if you turn the chip off then yeah, you won't have to deal with those feelings. But if you want to turn it back on, what's to say that you won't have to cope with the negative emotions then? Like, say something reminds you? You'll have to cope then anyway, but you'll be less prepared, because instead of learning to deal with it, you'd be pretending those feelings didn't exist."

"If that is the case, then I shall leave the chip switched off."

"But then you're missing all the good stuff too. What about all the great experiences you've had since we fitted the chip?"

"Are you referring to experiences like falling in love?" Data looked at Geordi through hooded eyes, just a sliver of gold showing between the narrowed lids.

"... Yeah." Geordi snapped his visor off and leant his head on the back of the couch. "Listen, I've been an ass. I'm just... I'm so sorry, you know that. I can't say it enough. And I'm sorry for everything. For, for pretending I didn't care about you, making you feel like I was ashamed... It's not okay, to treat someone like that. And I do care, I do, I care about you a lot, and... I really want to try this whole thing again. I want to be with you. Because, I really like you, and... I missed you so much, I was terrified I was gonna lose you. And when we got you back, and you were so scared and hurt... It just broke me up, inside, you know? I guess, I'm asking, can you forgive me? For being, so, so stupid, and..." Geordi's voice tailed off when he realised he was rambling. He scrubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, and then turned his sightless gaze to Data. He heard the android shuffle his feet on the carpet and draw a shuddering breath.

"Please, do not ask this of me now. I... I cannot answer you, not now, it... it is too much."

"It's okay, I know, and... I don't care how long you take. Just, think about it, okay? Let's get you better first."

Geordi heard the android rise to his feet and approach the couch. He felt a hand on his, pulling him up, and then strong, solid arms wrapping him and pressing him close to a warm body. He put his arms round Data in turn, putting his chin on the android's shoulder as Data buried his face in the crook of his neck.

"I have missed you also."

Geordi felt Data lift his head and press their cheeks together. He leant into the embrace and Data tilted his head and bought their lips into contact. It was soft and simple, and so easy to fall into the sensation and forget everything else. Geordi opened his mouth and flicked his tongue over Data's, sliding his hands up under the shirt the android was wearing to caress his flanks.

Data's head snapped back and he flinched, grabbing Geordi's arms and pushing him firmly away.

"Hey, hey, what... what's wrong?" Geordi reached out, but the android was walking away. Geordi turned to the couch and found his visor, fumbled it back on as Data returned to him, holding out a PADD.

"What's this?"

"The circuit diagrams you will need."

Geordi blew out a sigh. His lips were still tingling from the kiss. "Are you really sure?"

"I am resolved to this course of action. I believe that I have no choice."

"And... what about us?" Geordi looked at the android, who was seating himself at his desk in preparation for the alterations. Data looked pensive.

"I am not sure."

Geordi looked at Data for a moment, then went to replicate the tools he would need. He gently removed Data's cranial plate, exposing the extraordinary circuitry within. He looked at the diagram, at the fused chip, and gently began the modifications.

"I can't begin to imagine how you feel, I really can't. But I don't understand how you can believe that you'll be better off without any emotion at all."

Data made no comment, and Geordi sighed through his nose as he tweaked the last tiny wire into place.

"Okay, it's done. So, go ahead. Try it." He put the cap of skull and hair back in place and stood back to observe. Data stared straight forward as he registered the alterations.

"... Did you do it?" The engineer queried.

"No." It was a whisper.

"Why not?"

"I... I do not know."

Geordi folded his arms. "Well, if you want some time to think things through, I'm supposed to be down in engineering right now. So, shall I leave you to it?"

"Please."

"Okay." Geordi put his hand on the android's shoulder as he moved past him to the door. "If you want me to come check on you later, just com me, okay?"

"Understood."

Geordi looked back at the android as the door opened, but Data remained motionless. The engineer shook his head and left.

As the door closed, Data heaved a sigh, clenching his jaw. He had hoped that being with Geordi would be sufficiently different, but the shock of the memory of Fajo's fingers in his mouth, his hands on his sides, had more than convinced him that he was doing the right thing in turning the chip off.

But the kiss had been so good. Until the memory surfaced, it had been wonderful.

He twitched his head and deactivated the chip.

That afternoon he put on his uniform. He wrote his report and updated his personal log. He listened to music, and practiced the violin, not that he needed to practice. He reported himself as ready to return to duty, pending a psych evaluation. He painted and drew. He organised a meeting with Counselor Troi for the following day. He had a perfectly normal evening with Geordi, who for some reason seemed to be dissatisfied with the success of the modifications to the android's neural net.

He activated his dream program and upon waking analyzed the images using the interpretative methods of Carl Jung.