Chapter Four; Sano

Sano. Verb. 1. Correct. 2. Cure, heal. 3. Quiet

"Come in."

"Hello Counselor."

Troi looked up sharply. She had heard the door open, but hadn't sensed Data entering. She looked at him as he sat down across from her, and she realised what was different.

"I'm not sensing any emotions in you." She tried not to make the statement sound accusatory.

"That is correct. We have modified my circuitry so that I may activate and deactivate the emotion chip at will."

"All right. Why is it off now?"

"Because I do not wish for it to be on."

The Counselor sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Data, I know you believe this will be easier, but I don't think it's healthy."

The android cocked his head. "I am functioning again. I am no longer troubled. I am now able to resume my duties, and focus on my hobbies. How can this not be preferable?"

"You might think that this means that you're better, but it doesn't. You're not better, you're just pretending that there's nothing wrong. That's not the same thing."

"I have functioned for many years without emotions, I do not see why I cannot do so again."

"Because it's a step backwards in your evolution." Troi leaned forward, sincere. "Say that... say that your arm was damaged, and it hurts. You could repair it, but instead you remove it. The pain is gone, but you are no longer whole."

"You think that the switching off of my emotion chip lessens me as a person?"

"I don't think it's good for your long-term development." She frowned at him. "I know this has all been terribly difficult, and I can't tell you that it's going to get easier quickly, but we're all here for you. My job is to help you through this, but I can't do that if you won't let me. With that in mind, I can't clear you to return to your duties."

"I do not understand." Data's brow creased. "I performed my duties more than adequately before the installation of the chip..."

"Yes, and that was before. This is now. I'm sorry, Data, but you need to think this through logically. It's just as bad as a human using alcohol or drugs to mask their pain. It's not going to help you get better. Will you think about this for me, please? Come back and see me tomorrow. And talk to Geordi about it."

"He also believes that I have made a mistake in disabling the chip. Thank you Counselor, I will consider your advice." He stood and walked out, his old impassive self.

Troi leaned back in the chair, her face drawn with sadness. "Oh, Data." She sighed.

"Hey."

"Hello, Geordi. Please come in."

Geordi walked to the couch, took a seat. He watched Data as he moved around the room, fluid and graceful with his long limbs, but that blank face was horrible to Geordi now, like a stranger. Data bought him a coffee and sat down next to him. Briefly he outlined the meeting he'd had with the Counselor while Geordi sipped and nodded encouragement.

"I know that what she said makes sense, it is only logical that I should wish to progress, and so I must learn to adapt. However, I am concerned that I will react badly when I switch the chip back on. That is why I have asked you here. I think that it may be easier for me if I have someone with me."

"Sure. I understand."

"I am curious." Data frowned. "You also seem eager for me to have emotions again. Yet, when I reacted badly to your intimate gesture, I assumed that you would be offended. Why do you wish for me to feel again, if it affects you negatively?"

Geordi looked down into his coffee. "Well... Part of it is that I agree with Deanna, you'll be better off learning to cope. But part of it is that, you... Before, you know, you were... captured... you were so, so passionate, so enthusiastic about things, about us. And, I know it'll take a long time, y'know, for you to be comfortable, but... I want to help. I'd rather deal with your bad times and hope for better, than have to live without the, the other you, the smiling, laughing, feeling Data."

Data nodded thoughtfully. "And if, as a worst case scenario, I am not capable of physical or emotional intimacy due to the trauma of my experiences?"

"Well, then we'll deal with that if and when it happens."

"Very well." Data closed his eyes and twitched his head to the side. He became very still, and for a long moment neither moved nor spoke, until Geordi was concerned that something had gone wrong. Then his lips parted and he drew a trembling breath.

"Hey." Geordi murmured. He held out his hand, palm up, and Data lay his pale hand across it. Geordi gripped and squeezed gently. "You okay?"

Data shook his head. "No."

"I'm here. What do you need?"

"Just this, for the moment."

"Okay." Geordi rubbed his thumb across the back of Data's hand, and the android sighed through his nose. Slowly Data lent sideways to rest his head on Geordi's shoulder.

"You know, you can tell me anything. I mean, if you want, if it'd make you feel better. Get it off your chest."

Data shuddered. "I do not think you want to know."

"Maybe not. But, if you want to talk, I'm here." Geordi rested his cheek on the top of Data's head.

"I..." The android drew a shuddering breath. "I wanted it to be you. My first time. I wanted it to be... For it to be special, between us..." He swallowed hard. "And now..."

"I know. But it doesn't change how I feel about you, you know that?"

"How can you say that? Knowing that I've been... used. How can you not find me... despoiled?"

"What?" Geordi craned his neck down to look into Data's face. "I don't think that about you! No way. It wasn't your fault, and what... what they did to you doesn't change who you are."

"But I am changed. I am different. I am afraid, and ashamed."

Geordi sighed and put his arm round the android's shoulders. "Yeah, you are different. But, inside, you're still you. Don't let them take that from you. You survived, and now you're safe, that's what matters. And we'll make it okay, we'll get you better, and anything I can do to help, you just tell me."

"... Kiss me."

Geordi regarded the android for a moment. "You sure?"

"Yes." Data put a hand to Geordi's shoulder and drew him close. Their lips met, warmth and softness, and Geordi sighed with pleasure. God, he'd missed this, this closeness. But gently, softly, because Data was like a wounded wild animal, nerves frayed and liable to bolt. Geordi reached up to cup the android's cheek and Data responded, running his hand from the engineer's shoulder to the back of his neck.

Data broke the kiss, leaning back with his eyes closed. "I want... Please, you, now." He rose to his feet, drawing Geordi with him, to embrace him tightly and kiss his neck, his cheek and brow. Geordi reached to undo Data's jacked, but firm pale hands gripped his.

"I... I will..." Data took a breath. "Please turn around."

"... Sure." Geordi turned his back, herd the soft sounds of Data removing his clothes and the shuffle of the bedclothes.

"You may turn around, and join me, if you wish."

"I do wish, very much." Data was under the covers, lying on his side, looking up at Geordi. The engineer fumbled his own clothes off and slipped under the sheets.

"Would you prefer if I took my visor off?"

"... If you will be comfortable, yes please."

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Geordi placed it on the small table. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" He asked, but two strong arms were already twining round him and he had barely finished his sentence before his mouth was smothered by his lovers' with breath-stealing intensity. He responded in kind, pressing his body close and putting his hand flat on Data's back, pressing between his shoulder blades. He could feel the synthetic musculature sliding and bunching under the soft bioplast skin and he trembled, feeling the android's arousal against his leg. He felt Data shudder, and he broke the kiss.

"You okay?" He murmured.

"... Touch me, please." Data's breath was fast, his pulse racing, but whether from fear or passion Geordi couldn't say. He kissed the android again, sliding his hand down the smooth pale stomach to touch his sex, stroking gently with his fingers. Data shivered again and reached down with his own hand towards his lover, but Geordi shook his head.

"No, it's okay, I want to focus on you. Just relax, let me do this for you. Tell me what you need."

"More, now." Data pressed his forehead to the man's as Geordi gripped his firmness and began to move, slow and gentle. Data's breathing stuttered as he gasped; "Faster, please, now, faster." Geordi obliged, pressing his lover close.

"Would you like me to go down on you?" Geordi murmured.

"No! No, I... I want to see your face, I... I need to know..." Data's voice choked off in a cry as Geordi swept his thumb over the sensitive tip of the android's cock. "Yes, more, good..." Data pressed his forehead into the crook of Geordi's shoulder as the waves of pleasure crashed over him, smothering and dragging him down into that glorious sensation of warm skin and firm hands and the smell that was all Geordi and he gasped his lover's name over and over as he came in shuddering spurts, his stomach contracting and his legs trembling as he pressed his face into the man's neck.

"Geordi, Geordi, Geordi..."

"It's okay, I'm here. You okay?"

"Yes, yes, good, very." He couldn't stop shaking, and he didn't know why, but he knew that Geordi would be wanting. He connected their mouths again, slipping his hand round the man's hardness and feeling him gasp into his mouth. So good, to delight him like this, so sweet to be pleasured and to please in return. He pushed Geordi back onto the bed and kissed down his torso, eliciting groans with tongue and teeth until he reached his lover's desire and took it into his mouth and it was Geordi, the taste and the smell of his musk and every dimension and measurement that mattered, and he ran his hands up the man's body and swallowed his straining cock into his throat.

"Data..." Geordi gave a strangled gasp and he knew it was a warning, but this was Geordi and it was Geordi right up until his fingers knotted in Data's hair and his ejaculate hit the back of his throat and suddenly the bony plates in that bizarre organ were rasping against his throat as Toff shoved the android's head onto his crotch. Data's nose smacked into the pelvic bone and he retched and leapt off the bed, dragging the sheet with him to cover his shameful nakedness and stumbling into the bathroom to hack the semen into the sink, and stand on trembling legs and watch it slide down the plughole. He retched again, drank water from the faucet and heaved it straight into the sink, purging himself of the last vestiges of the alien fluids contaminating his internal system.

"Hey." He saw Geordi in the mirror, behind him. Shuddering, Data pulled the sheet tighter around himself.

"I am so sorry." He whispered.

"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry, I'm not upset." Geordi had put his visor back on, and was regarding the android with concern. "Can I help?"

"No. I will be all right."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Please stay, if you can."

"Of course, if that's what you want. You ready to come to bed?"

"In a moment."

"Okay." Geordi left him staring at himself in the mirror.