Chapter Three; Probrum
Probrum. 1. Abuse, insult. 2. Disgrace. 3. Shame
"Did you hear? He freaked out on the bridge!"
"I heard he went nuts and smashed up a science station!"
"I can't believe he's been cleared for duty, he's obviously not well..."
"It just proves that he has no business being in a command position."
"Sssh! He's coming this way!"
Data clenched his jaw as he walked towards the warp core. They couldn't know that he had heard every word. Or, perhaps they did know, and just didn't care. Or maybe they wanted him to hear.
He found the access panel and lifted it easily, hunkering down to view the conduits beneath. Most humans found this sort of job dull, but Data was beginning to enjoy the complexity of it, and the way it forced him to focus. Or at least, that was how it had been.
He put his hands down into the delicate traceries of wires, gently splicing and rerouting, striving for maximum efficiency. He referred to the PADD he had resting on the deck, double checking readings and checking for fluctuations, and forcing his mind to focus on the task at hand. But with his phenomenal computational rate, there was still a part of his consciousness that he couldn't quiet. The part that made the back of his neck prickle, the tiny portion of his thought processes that convinced him that he was being watched, scrutinised, that even now someone was creeping up behind him.
"Excuse me, 'sir'..."
Data tensed. He knew the voice, heard the sneer.
"Jensen." He replied blandly.
"Pardon me, but... we weren't expecting to see you back at work so soon after your incident on the bridge."
"I have been pronounced fit for duty." Data didn't turn, didn't dignify the man with eye contact. He heard Jensen shuffle his feet, and two other humanoids approaching. Tramin and Fisk, by the sound of it.
"Oh well, thank goodness for that! I'd hate to think that there was a rogue android on board, going around smashing things because he wasn't fit for duty! Good thing it wasn't you!"
Data closed his eyes tightly and forced his breathing to remain even and steady.
"Frankly, 'sir', I don't believe that you've ever been fit for duty. The very idea of it is laughable. But now? You're a wreck! How do you expect to command, for others to respect you?"
Data opened his eyes and stood slowly, turning to face the man, who was flanked by his friends. Fisk looked awkward, as if he didn't really want to be there. Tramin's blue skin had flushed, he looked curious and excited by the confrontation. Jensen's icy eyes fixed on the android's golden irises.
"I command respect, Jensen, by virtue of my rank and experience." Data murmured evenly. "If you feel that you are unable to recognize that, then it is not for me to prove myself to you."
"On the contrary!" Jensen sneered. "That is precisely what you should do! I don't respect you, because you don't deserve respect. Some of us have worked for years to get our ranks and positions. But you..."
"Went through the academy just as you did, and worked my way through the ranks." Data held tightly to his words, forcing to the back of his mind the whispering in his own voice that Jensen was right, he did not deserve his rank, he was broken, ruined, frightened. He realised he was trembling, and he clenched his hands into fists to stop them from shaking.
Jensen looked the android up and down, as if working out if he had a chance in a fight.
"What did that Zibalian do to you, to make you like this?" He said suddenly. Data shuddered, and Jensen realised he had struck a nerve. He pressed home his advantage. "How did he break you so thoroughly? I saw you when you got back... you were a mess. Is that what happened? He broke your mind as well as your body, and now you can't control yourself?"
"I... I am in control." He hadn't meant to stutter, but the engineer's words echoed his own thoughts so completely that it was like arguing with himself. Jensen bared his teeth in a smile and stepped towards him. Data stepped back reflexively, giving ground, and Jensen barked a laugh.
"You're afraid!" He said with delight. "You! How do you expect me to respect you now?"
"That's enough, Lars. Come on." Fisk put his hand on Jensen's shoulder, but he shrugged it off.
"You go, Fisk, if you think you can still take orders from a thing like this." Jensen looked the android up and down again, his lip curled in derision. "And to think that our chief engineer takes it to bed with him..."
"That is none of your business." Data's eyes flashed brightly. "Believe what you wish of my ability to command, take your complaints to the captain if you wish, but you have no right to judge me by the company I keep."
"I'm not judging you, I'm judging him." Jensen stepped forward again, but this time Data held his ground, allowing the man into his personal space. "I used to think that Commander La Forge was a good enough officer, but when I found out he was taking a sex-doll to bed..." Data flinched, his head twitched to one side, and he looked at Jensen impassively.
"That is enough." Data tapped his combadge. "Data to Daniels."
"Daniels here."
"Please send a security detail to main engineering to take Ensign Jensen to the brig for insubordination."
"Aye, sir. Daniels out."
"Really? Insubordination?" Jensen folded his arms. "I don't think there's a man on board that would disagree with me about your ability to command."
"Wrong again, Ensign." Geordi stalked over and grabbed the man by his collar.
"Sir, I'm sorry, I tried to stop him..." Fisk stammered, and Tramin stepped back, his eyes darting from face to face.
"I'll talk to you two later. Go, before I change my mind." Geordi growled. The two engineers needed no further encouragement and scuttled away, as two security staff exited the turbolift and made their way over.
"Take him to the brig, we'll sort out the formal charges." Geordi snarled. He was shaking with rage, practically threw the ensign at the security team as they approached. They cuffed his hands behind his back and he sneered at them.
"I'm only telling the truth! Everyone knows he's not fit to be in command!"
"Get him out, now!" Barked Geordi, and the guards dragged him away. Geordi ran a hand through his hair and breathed out his anger, forcing himself to relax. "You okay?" He said, turning to Data, only to discover that the android had turned away and was leaning into the access port, his hands toying with the conduits. Geordi frowned and knelt down next to him to look into his face. It was a blank slate, devoid of emotion. Geordi put a hand on his back.
"Did you switch off the chip?" He murmured.
"Yes. It seemed prudent under the circumstances." Data replied evenly, his nimble hands finishing the last few adjustments. He replaced the hatch cover and stood, turning to look down at the engineer.
"I believe that it would be in my best interests to keep the emotion chip switched off for the remainder of my shift today, to ensure that there are no further incidents."
"You say that like it was your fault." Geordi brushed his knees off as he stood, his brow creased with concern. "I've always had trouble with Jensen, you know that."
"I am aware that I was not the instigator of the confrontation. Nevertheless, I reacted negatively to his comments, and further undermined myself in his eyes. Had I been in control of myself, it would not have exacerbated the situation. If you will excuse me, I have other duties to attend to." Data began to walk towards the turbolift.
"You gonna turn it on again tonight?" Geordi called after him.
Data stopped, turned back. "Yes. Will you be available to supervise?"
"Would you like me to be?"
"I believe it would be beneficial to have you in attendance."
"Okay then. Yeah, I'll be there."
Data nodded once, and left the engineering department.
"This is what you feared would happen."
"Not exactly... He was already prejudiced against you."
"But the fact that we are involved with each other made him lose respect for you. It is my fault."
"Don't say that. It's not you, it's him, he's the one at fault. You've done nothing wrong."
Data lowered his head into his hands. "I fear that he is correct about my ability to command."
"Hey, come on now." Geordi reached across the table to run a hand through the android's hair. "I don't believe that, neither should you."
"I have been contemplating it for some time. I am... troubled... by the thought that I may never recover, not fully. If so, I will have no choice but to step down."
"You've been improving day-by-day, getting better all the time. Don't let that idiot drag you down."
"What if he is right, Geordi?" He lifted his head to look across at the engineer. "What if I am too unstable, too damaged? What if..."
"You'll ruin your life worrying about what might be. You gotta focus on now, and getting better. Okay, yeah, maybe you won't get back to the way you were, but you're already so much better than before! I respect you, so does the captain, and Riker, and... and everyone, except that jerk Jensen!"
Data managed a small smile. "Thank you, Geordi."
"Yeah, well, that's what I'm here for." He reached across the table again to take the android's hands. "You know what you need? Something to take your mind off things. How about we go to the holodeck?"
Data frowned slightly. "Are you not on the roster for the alpha shift tomorrow?"
"Yeah? Oh, I guess it is kinda late... Well, tomorrow then?"
Data shook his head. "I am on Beta shift, then night watch."
"Oh, okay. Well, rain-check on the holodeck then." Geordi sighed. "Anything you'd like to do for the rest of the evening? Something to cheer you up?"
"I have a few ideas..." Data raised Geordi's hands to his mouth and ran his lips across the knuckles, his breath warm. Geordi shivered.
"Well, yeah, there is always that."