(Ah man, I will admit, I've wanted to write a drabble for this couple for a while now…
A special thanks to Chinterra of Deviantart, who wanted me to write a little story for their OC and their AU version of Ratchet! Thank you so much for letting me write your character, and thank you for participating in this event! :D
Thank you to all who volunteered their characters, and I hope you all enjoy! :D)
Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet and Clank or any of its characters. Ellaria and the Blind!Ratchet AU belong to Chinterra of Deviantart. Annnd I took a turn with this one because I happen to know the "after marriage" part of this relationship. ;P
To the Beat of My Heart
RatchAria (Blind!RatchetxEllaria)
His ears picked up his wife's retching, and worry poked at his sleeping conscious before the realization crept in.
Morning sickness… once again.
The Lombax quickly sat up and pushed the covers back. His hands instinctively reached for his cane, and once his hand closed around the rod, he pushed it out in front of him. "Honey?" he called out as he stumbled out of bed. "Are you alright? Do you want me to get some sickness medication?"
He made his way to the bathroom, his feet guiding him along the route he had taken numerous times before. Ratchet felt around for the width of the door, the sounds of his wife's vomiting grow louder.
"I'm coming sweetheart, hold on just a moment!"
His hand knocked the edge of the door, and he quickly pulled open the door. The Lombax quickly rushed in, and as he leaned his cane against the doorframe, he carefully stepped over to where his wife was.
Ratchet's hands delicately touched her shoulders, feeling for her long hair. When he felt more strands heading towards her chin, he hooked his fingers over her ears and scooped her hair in his hands.
"Th-thank- y-you…"
Another gurgle sounded, and Ratchet couldn't help but feel worried as Ellaria started up again. He pushed her hair to one hand and let his other hand fall to her back. Ratchet rubbed small circles as Ellaria hugged the toilet.
"It's okay, honey… You're going to be okay… I'm here to help…"
The little comforting words he provided helped, and once Ellaria was finished, she took a moment to steady her breathing. The bathroom stayed mostly silent, Ellaria's slow breathing the only echo.
As she lifted her head, Ratchet leaned over her and flushed the toilet. "Thank you honey," she mumbled as her hands tapped the floor. More weight shifted to her bent legs as she lifted her head up and breathed in as much air as she could handle.
Ratchet smiled softly as he ducked behind her and rubbed her back. "Do you need any stomach medications? Maybe some water?"
"I should be fine…" she said, a hand rubbing at one of her tired eyes. After a moment, her hand fell, and she looked up at her husband. "Though… I um, still need to use the bathroom…"
Ratchet quickly backed up, nodding as his feet backpedaled. "Oh, right! Sorry… I'll get some breakfast ready for you while you wash up."
Ellaria put a hand to her stomach and stood. Her expression softened, and she smiled at Ratchet. "Could I have some eggs and hot sauce? With some little cinnamon crackers on the side? And an orange… and an apple?"
Ratchet grabbed his cane and backed out of the little room. "Yeah! I can get that for you! Just…" he hesitated, his bottom lip squished between his top teeth. "If there's any trouble, any at all, call for me and I'll come help!"
He didn't see the worried expression on Ellaria's face.
"That won't be necessary sweetheart. I'll only be a few minutes, and I'll wash up as quickly as I can."
"Alright… but- If there's any energy bursts- or if you feel like you're falling- or-"
"Yes," she confirmed, raising up her hands. "If anything happens, call for you."
Ratchet nodded his head. The frown on his face lifted, and he eased the door shut as he stepped out of the little washroom.
As the door clicked shut, he let go of the handle and pushed his cane out in front of him, the long pole giving him some extra guidance as he made his way to the kitchen.
The threshold to the door of their room clicked as the cane knocked against the pearl-white wood. His bare feet touched tile, and the Lombax took longer strides as his muscle memory kicked in.
Same old path.
His hand extended, hanging in the space around Ratchet as he searched for the refrigerator.
Where was it…?
A bar caught between his limp fingers.
There we go.
He wrapped his fingers around the handle and pulled the door open, the fur on his body rising as cold air rushed out of the fridge and tickled his skin. He lowered himself, his other hand leaning the cane against the fridge's side and hitting the first shelf.
"What did she want for breakfast again…?" he mumbled as his fingers touched the sides of plastic containers. "Cinnamon crackers. I know they aren't here; they'll be in the pantry… Oh! Eggs, orange, apple, and…" His head drifted to the arm resting on top of the fridge door. He scratched his head. "I think it was hot sauce. Yeah, that's it."
His hand moved to one of the drawers and pulled on the handle. It slid open, and the Lombax gently hooked his hand under the egg carton and lifted it out.
"Next, the orange."
He pushed the drawer back and stuffed the carton under his left arm. The fridge door leaned against his back as he felt around for the bottommost drawer's handle. As soon as it hit his fingertips, he grabbed it and yanked it open.
Plastic bags of fruits and vegetables knocked against each other as Ratchet's hand scrapped the bottom of the drawer. He was looking for something completely round, with a little nub at the top…
Something with four bumps brushed by his wrist, and he paused as his brain tried to figure out what he just touched.
Four bumps… round, but not completely spherical… a little stick?
"Ah," Ratchet exclaimed as he grabbed it and tucked it under his arm. "There's the apple. Now the orange."
His hand moved back in, and it took him a second to locate the other fruit.
"Perfect!" he said. He quickly stood, shut the door, and placed the food on a counter next to the fridge.
As soon as he was absolutely sure they weren't going to fall, he turned back to the fridge and opened the door again. Now was the hot sauce.
His hand reached for a small glass bottle, but instead he felt a larger container fill his palm.
"Um… odd. I thought she put it back on the top shelf?"
His hand stretched out for other containers, it's pace quickening with each wrong item. Cream cheese, stick of butter, jar of mayo… or was that a jar of jelly…?
A knot entered his chest, and Ratchet felt his breathing hitch as he felt shame heat his face. "Come on," he huffed, his teeth gritted as his hand knocked against more items. "Where is it?"
A square container that might have contained the spaghetti they had a few nights ago-
A smaller square container that… had something else in it-
Mustard bottle-
His hand finally grasped a tall, cylindrical bottle. The Lombax felt relief flood his chest as the bottle stayed firm under a gentle squeeze. He relaxed as he stood, a long sigh pushing the freezing air out of his face.
The fridge door clapped shut as Ratchet then turned his attention to the pantry. Just looking for the box of crack-
His fingers touched a large square box. They moved to the next one, a large square box. Then the next: a large-ish square box.
The shame from earlier grew full force, and a stutter spluttered out of Ratchet's mouth as he tried and failed to reassure himself.
He bit his lip, and nervous energy danced throughout his veins.
He hadn't really gotten a good feel for the cracker boxes.
There hadn't been that much time.
He couldn't remember the feel of everything.
"I… I'll get it later. Before Ellaria comes. Just… not now."
His hand retracted.
A little spark of rage and frustration lit up his chest.
No.
Ratchet's hand smacked down on the first box as he grabbed it and carried it to the dining table. It smacked against the wood underneath the smooth cloth, and the Lombax heard crackers rattle in their sleeves.
He turned and headed for the counter where he left the eggs, and slowly but surely the Lombax began making scrambled eggs. Lovely smells filled the air as he used the spatula to figure out where the egg batter needed to be turned.
Tiny clicks sounded out on the tile and moved towards the table. Ratchet focused hard on what he was cooking, hoping that she didn't come back his way.
He felt her eyes on him.
He heard her footsteps.
He sensed her body pass his on her way back to the pantry.
His grip on the spatula tightened. "It wasn't the right one, was it?"
Ellaria was silent for a moment, the box of soup crackers making little sound as she hesitantly slid the crackers back into their place. "Well… no. But it's not a problem, I can grab the cinnamon cracker box and bring it to the table." As she lifted the box out, she turned to her husband. "Did you want any help with the eggs? I can wash the apple if you'd like?"
Ratchet stayed silent, his eyebrows deeply furrowed. A sour look painted his face. "I got it. You can sit down. Breakfast will be ready in a couple minutes."
"But-"
"I said I got it!"
Ellaria moved past him, and based on how the ground shook a little as she past, Ratchet could tell that he had ticked her off.
Both creatures were silent as Ratchet finished the eggs. He shut off the stove, scooped the fluffy eggs onto a plate, washed the apple off, and brought over the meal to the table.
The tiny walk to the table only made the searing knot in his chest harden.
As he set the plate down in front of Ellaria, his guilt began to overpower him.
"I'm sorry I-"
"Ratchet. Sit down."
The Lombax plopped down in the other chair, his head turned to the side so his ears could pick up more of Ellaria's voice.
She leaned back in her chair, the furniture creaking against her back. "I want you to tell me why you've been acting like this over the past few days." Her arms crossed defensively over her chest. "And no excuses either. When we were readying the baby room the other day, you stormed out of the room when you were in the middle of baby-proofing the wall plugs. And then yesterday you got mad at the paint for the room. Today, you're getting upset over crackers?"
He felt her lean towards him. "What's wrong Ratchet? You can tell me what's bothering you! Especially now that we're bringing a child into the universe! We need to be a team! Let me know what's wrong, and we'll fix it together!"
The Lombax stayed silent.
The minutes dragged on, but both parties stayed dead quiet. Veldin sunlight warmed the Lombax's body, and utensils scrapped as Ellaria began to eat some of her scrambled egg.
Ellaria's chewing slowed, and a clink sounded as she dropped the fork against the plate. The legs of the chair scrapped against the floor. "Alright, I don't have time for this. If you don't want to talk-"
"I'm blind."
"Well… yes," she said, confusion evident in her voice. Her body lowered back down into the chair. "That doesn't change a thing-"
The knot in his chest choked him, and the sour look from earlier returned. "Yes, it does."
Ratchet swallowed as he shook. "Ellaria, you're having a baby and I'm blind. I can't help you in the way anyone else could. I can't paint the walls because I have no idea what the color I'm painting it, where I need to stop, or if I missed a spot. I can't baby-proof the plugs because I spent a half hour running my hand horizontally along the wall looking for plug only to find that it was an inch higher than where I had been running my hand. I couldn't even grab the right box of cinnamon crackers for Orvus' sake!"
His eyes stung with pain and pressure, and sobs wracked his chest. "What if I need to grab something for the baby and I grab something that could kill them?! What if I don't hear them run around me and I seriously hurt them?!"
"Ratchet…"
Tears poured out of his eyes, and hiccups caught in his throat. "I won't be able to see my child walk down the aisle at their wedding, getting ready to marry the love of their life! I won't be able to see them stand on a graduation stage after long years spent studying in college following their dreams! I won't see medals, awards, pictures they draw… their first steps…"
His arms wrapped around him. "I won't see if they have your eyes… I won't see the colors on their body... I won't see them on the day they're born…"
Ratchet turned his head to where Ellaria sat, his tear-stained cheeks shining in the morning light.
"I'm not going to see our child grow up."
The whole house quieted, and even the creatures outside fell silent.
His hand dragged across his cheeks, and his nose sniffed as he tried not to grab a napkin to use as a tissue. The knot in his chest had vanished, and shame took its place.
"Ellaria…"
He felt her hand wrap around his, firmly squeezing his fingers. She dragged his hand to the middle of the table where they remained tightly interlocked.
"Ratchet," she began, sniffs of her own indicating her sorrow, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, and if I could do anything to fix it, I would, but for right now, we're going to have to work with what we've got. It's going to be hard, and I will never be able to understand the pain you hold, but I want to tell you that we are a team. We will both be able to take care of this baby, and I don't care what you do, I will stick by your side through anything."
He shrank in his seat. "I'm so scared. I want to help you. I don't want to just be a deadweight! I want to help you Ellaria!"
"You will never be deadweight to me Ratchet," she said without hesitation. She paused, her other hand coming up to support the Lombax's. "I can't tell you how much I wish you could see, but Orvus gave us what we have, and we will adapt with what we have."
Ellaria hooked her hand under his left cheek, and he felt her thumb wipe away the tear-tracks. "We're going to get through this sweetheart. We're going to raise this child to be one of the most successful, creative, sensitive creatures to walk the universe, and blindness or not, you and I are going to help this child grow up."
She held his hand until his breathing returned to normal, and both of them helped to steady the other's hand from trembling.
As soon as the two of them calmed, Ellaria guided Ratchet's hand to the table. "I think it's time I finish my breakfast before I head to work on the baby's room."
Ratchet nodded quickly, returning back to reality. "Yeah, you eat your breakfast. You'll need the energy…"
"I want you to promise me something."
The Lombax looked up, his head to the side. "Oh?"
"I want you to promise me that if you ever feel insecure or miserable because of your blindness, you come to me and talk to me about it." Ellaria bit off the smallest piece of a cinnamon cracker. "Like I said, I won't be able to understand what you're going through, but that doesn't mean I don't want to listen to you."
The Lombax slowly turned his head in his wife's direction, and he took a deep, steadying breath as he readied his answer.
"I promise."
The tension between them lifted as relief rose in his chest.
"Thank you," Ellaria said softly. "I promise to listen to every word, and I will never shun or mock you for any way you feel. I'm your partner, and we're not going to be alone for much longer. I'll need a partner by my side for that, and I wouldn't give you up for anyone else."
He smiled, and tears threatened to run down his cheeks again. "I love you so much Ellaria."
The Earthian smiled back. "I love you too Ratchet…"
He stood, walking over to get his cane before returning to the table. "I think I'm going to start some work in the baby's room… and if there isn't anything I can do… I'd still like to sit in the room with you."
"Of course, Ratchet. I want your company." Ellaria stood, her plate in her hand and a soft smile on her face. "Come on sweetheart, let's get back to work…"
Song Inspos: "Thunder" by Leona Lewis and "Scars to Your Beautiful" by Alessia Cara.
Fourth story to be finished!
Oh man, this took me an embarrassingly long time to finish. I've never written a character with a disability before, so this was quite the experiment for me. I really hope you all enjoyed the… angst? I wanted to show how strong a couple could be around one of the most stressful moments of their lives (having or adopting a child), so suddenly the fluff just curveballed to angst.
Either way, I hope you liked the story, and of course, thank you Chinterra for allowing me to write your character and AU concept. I had fun, and I hope you had a great Valentine's Day! ^^
See you all in the next story!
XD