A/N: I. RETURN! I've played all the way through Inquisition, beaten all of the DLC and I'm psyched for the next game. Trespasser was a fine way to end things, and it gave me a TON of ideas as to what I can do with this story, as well as the SHOCK I got at the end with Fen'harel. Did. Not. See. That. Coming. It's also let me to be a bit divided on the matter, too. I mean, I can understand the desire to help your people, but what about everybody else?
Ah, sod, I dunno. Too much to think about there. Anywho, I'm hoping to write a somewhat happier ending with Naruto involved in the events of Dragon Age.
I also kindly ask you to remember Naruto is an incorrigible TROUBLEMAKER in this! He's gonna get into all kinds of chaos! And the title? Plucky? Well, that's simple. I think that it suits the mood of this chapter quite well, so much so in fact, that it just DEMANDED to be written. Thank you all for the suggestions and by all means keep 'em coming! I'm more than willing to listen!
And for the few who aren't happy about Sera being in this, well, sorry, she is. I'm sorry if that upsets a few of you, but she's key to this story. In addendum, she's not going to be QUITE as ignorant towards magic and such as the story paints her out to be. In time she'll be willing to try an' see things differently...the key word being time...I also realize I've horribly misspelled Sera's name with that 'h' at the end more often than not in the last chapter.
Oops! Now, without further adeu...
...I BRING YOU THE RETURN OF THE DAWN WILL COME! And a preview was chosen! We'll see the other one in the up-and-coming chapter!
"Non! I have nothing more to say to you, Inquisition pig!"
"Sera...? Two or three more."
"Eh? Two or three more?"
"Two or three more."
~ Naruto and co.!
Plucky
But do not think me amiss, dear reader, for despite my grave tone there were indeed many moments of levity during our...journey. If one can call it such.
It was a dark and desperate time for us all; the sky was torn, the world was falling apart around us, and we had no answers.
'Tis quite possible they were just as fearful as I; terrified of the dangers both within and without.
But they, my colleagues, allies, FRIENDS, laughed in the face of danger.
They were certainly...plucky, I suppose one could even say that.
In life, in laughter, even in love, 'twas in all that they did.
Take meeting a certain incident, for example.
But before that, a raven...
"BARON! FUCKING! PLUCKY!"
Naruto's agonized howl reverberated through the halls of the Chantry and out into Haven with fiery aplomb, ripping through the relative silence of the cloister as if it were made of wet leafs. Sisters and Revered Mothers scattered alike at this offensive diatribe, but he barely even noticed, such as it were. Instead, he flailed about himself spectacularly as strong arms trying and failing to catch the dark specter flapping about his face with beak of clawed feet. Hands capable of crushing throats were rendered pitiful and helpless against this irate bundle of feathers and spite.
"AW!"
"Will! You! Get! Off?!"
A nasty croak from his tormentor came in a resounding negative.
Unable to do anything more than swat the raven away, only for it to return again with a vengeance.
For those watching, they thought only thus:
Damn but the man was just too kind to animals for his own good.
The "Baron" of course, took full advantage of this weakness, harassing the shinobi mercilessly with the full arsenal at its disposal. Naruto, for the most part, had only sustained superficial injuries to his hands and face thus far Herah noted, but his expression was beginning to border on murderous as he desperately fended the foul fowl off. To no avail.
"What the hell is your problem?!" the blond cried! "It was just a damn message, 'ttebayo!"
"Aw!" the bird cried, outraged!
"Aaaaargh!"
Unbeknownst to him, his efforts to avail himself of said bird didn't entirely go unnoticed. Granted, he'd frightened Mother Giselle and most of the Sisters out of the Chantry, but those of a sterner sort had remained, if only to observe his plight. That only made it even more baffling for the witnesses. Amusing, too, in an appalling sorty of way.
Herah, however, still standing half frozen in the middle of the door, could only gawp.
She'd come here to call a meeting, maybe drag Sera and Varric out of the tavern and investigate that muck in the Fallow Mire. Find their missing soldiers. Calming the Mages and taming the Templars is important, but what's a few more days to wait? They needed to build up their forces, increase their reputation. She could appreciate a bit of fun and mischief where it was needed-but people needed to learn that the Inquisition was a force for good, not some upstart, eager to overturn the proverbial apple cart, as Roderick had so bluntly put it.
ESPECIALLY after that spat in Val Royeaux...
(Flashback, Naruto's POV...)
Blah.
Blah!
BLAH?!
Naruto felt as though his temples were about to explode, threatening to spatter tiny bits of brain and gore all over Val Royeaux.
And they just might, if the Lord Seeker continued to rant at them any longer than he already had! Never, in all his years, had he ever met a more stuck up, stick in the mud, arrogant ASSHOLE than this! Going on and ON about the Templars, how they deserved recognition, independence, how they were sooooooooooo much better and-
Naruto yawned, dimly aware of Herah speaking, addressing the Lord Seeker. The man scoffed at her, blind in his arrogance. He didn't hear the reply, if there was one. In his mind's eye the world fell away, ignored as the impossible arse continued to rant and rave, posturing endlessly.
"You!"
Great. Friggin' Seeker was looking at him now. Approaching him, with an odd look in his eye.
"The hell do you want, arsebiscuit?"
Naruto stuck out his tongue, glowering at the supposedly pious man. He wished Sera was here. Bastard could use an arrow in the-
"You will not interfere!"
"Wha?! Get offa me!"
Locked in his thoughts as he was, he was almost completely unprepared when the Seeker inexplicably shouldered Herah aside and bodily lunged at him. Shock warred with incredulity as a gauntlet-covered hand closed around his shoulder, hauling him a step forward. Naruto resisted, digging a foot into the cobblestones...and everything shifted. Blackness. Pain. Tearing. The blond inhaled sharply and-
Sulfur.
The smell hit him like a slap in the face, nearly making him gag. Kurama started awake inside him, his peaceful slumber broken by the sudden onslaught of senses. Moments later, the cursing started. Pain in his skull-a fire, burning inside his head and stopstopstsotpGETOUTOFMYDAMNEDHEAD!"
Because he knew this scent.
It was everywhere, the smell of the Fade, of pain, of old memories he didn't want to think about, things he wanted to FORGET-
'You know him.'
"Eh?"
Naruto tried to spin in the black but there was no direction, no sense of movement. Only the void.
'Old pain, forgotten pain. Angry. Hate.'
"Show yourself!"
For a second, a sliver in time, he thought he saw a young man in the black, a strange boy wearing an equally strange looking hat. His mind took him in at a glance, instinct taking over even as he reached for a knife to defend himself from this strange, ghostly apparition in his head. Tall. Lanky. Blue eyes, hidden beneath a mess of blond hair. Before he could complete the motion however, the newcomer backpedaled, nearly leaving him alone in the dark.
'Wait, wait!' Hands, flinging themselves up, imploring, pleading. 'I want to help!'
'Help, how! Where the fuck am I! Where's Kurama?! Who are you?!"
...you're inside you, I think?' the boy offered, sounding confused. 'I'm Cole. I felt your pain and I wanted to help. He's trying to stop you, take your shape. You're fighting him. Your friend is fighting him.'
A muscle jumped in the blond's jaw.
"Explain. Now."
'You're angry.' The thoughts stabbed agony into his mind abruptly, suddenly, nearly making him jump clear up out of his skin. He started forward, blue eyes narrow, but the youth held his ground, eyes glassy. 'Claws, hurting. Stabbing. Trying to get into your mind. Peel back layers. Sketching shapes. Take your face. Just like...before. Not powerless in the Fade, but many, so many, can't always fight them all, can't ESCAPE, need to ESCAPE...
A white light interposed itself in the darkness.
'There.' Cole's voice echoed in his head. 'Escape.'
"None of this makes any-
When next he looked, the boy was gone.
And the world returned.
The Lord Seeker however-IMPOSTOR!-unfortunately, was still there when Uzumaki Naruto opened his eyes. He shrank back in disbelief at the sight, stunned by the brief contact. "W-What are you?" Something rippled in his face. Like putrid water roiling over dead grass. Naruto didn't care. Now he had a name for this face, this charade. Remembered them both. Him. It. This creature that had hounded him in the Fade for eons past. This abomination, wearing the face of a man.
Envy.
Naruto flashed his fangs in a raw, angry hiss. Round eyes snapped into angry red slits.
"YOU!" the word was a roar, fierce and primal.
The Lord Seeker started as though he'd been struck. In the next instant, he WAS. A roundhouse crunched into his nose, shattering it in a spew of black blood, sending him spinning to the grounds. Naruto advanced after the fallen impostor, snarling, even as "Lucius" struggled to pick himself up again. A kick sent him sprawling, to the dismay and confusion of all; a sweep of the hand scattered the Templars who rushed to defend him like so much grass in the wind.
"Envy...I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" the blond howled. A hand rose slowly, imperious. He thrust a rigid finger in the Lord Seeker's face, uncaring for the appalled shouts and gasps his actions earned him. His entire body seemed to be shaking itself apart, as though he were holding himself in place through only a supreme effort of will. Three different cries reached his ears but he didn't hear them. All the world was a red haze, and there was only one being-demon!-at the center of it all.
"You...!"
Snarling he started forward, grabbing the smaller man by the front of his armor. Hoisting him up off the floor. Metal crunched beneath his unyielding grip, bending, buckling. Twisting like warped wood. Then, before the Seeker could protest, he frog-marched him forward, towards the pulpit. He'd rip this festering bastard's head off, yes, that was EXACTLY what he would do-
Then several hundred pounds of qunari muscle smashed into him from behind, knocking him down.
"Naruto, stop! You can't kill him!
"What are you doing?!"
"Stop! Let go! I need to kill him!" He didn't have time to explain. He had to kill him! NEEDED to kill him! "He's a demon! Don't you understand!"
"No, I don't!"
"GET OFF! I have to-
When next he looked, the "Lord Seeker" was gone.
(End Flashback)
Of course, Herah didn't know about any of that.
She only knew that Naruto had attacked the Lord Seeker in broad daylight; and since he was a part of the Inquisition, one of the Heralds, his actions reflected back on them. Rather poorly, as Josephine later confided in her. "Demon" or not, outbursts like that didn't help the Inquisition. Naruto insisted vehemently that the Lord Seeker was in fact, not the Lord Seeker at all, but a demon. Herah wanted to believe him, she truly did, but without proof, it was impossible to be certain.
She couldn't believe his claims about this "Cole" person, either. She'd never seen him. Not a once.
Things had been decidedly icy between them ever since.
Regardless how sorry she might be because of it.
No, Herah reminded herself sternly, she'd had no ulterior motives, absolutely no "sideways intentions" as Sera might put it, when she'd gone to the war room. If anything, she'd been looking for advice. Possibly answers that she sought, even. Instead, she'd found...
...this.
"What's going on here?"
Only a few paces away Scout Harding looked positively beside herself; her small body nestled safely out of sight just behind a wall. Anyone could see that the dwarf was torn between helping the poor sod and laughing herself hoarse from the sight. It was beginning to look like she was leaning towards the latter, at that, the qunari thought. For a long, awkward moment ,her words echoed between them, broken only by the somewhat muted sound of flapping wings and uttered oaths.
Then the poor scout jumped nearly a foot into the air.
"Ah! Herald!" she exclaimed, sputtering! "I wasn't watching! Really, I wasn't!"
Adaar narrowly restrains a smile as she watches that pale face turn red as a rose.
"Uh-huh. So, what happened?" her horns tilted slightly in Naruto's direction, contemplating. "He usually doesn't mess with Lelianna's birds."
"Well...I'm not sure." Lace conceded, straightening up beneath the mage's gaze. "I heard the ruckus as I was giving my report," a shrug followed, and he was already out, opening the cage trying to attach a message to the Baron's leg, or something. The baron didn't take kindly to that. That's, ah, when the pecking started."
Herah blinked. "And why is that?"
"The Baron is Leliann's favorite." Harding offered by way of explanation, smiling sheepishly. "He doesn't let anyone else touch him. Naruto didn't know that."
"Ah."
Another pause followed, one in which Naruto colorfully detailed how he was going to "roast" Baron Plucky over an open fire if he didn't stop attacking. The two women shared a knowing smile, each stifling a laugh as he continue to rattle and rail against his tormentor.
"And how long has he been like this?"
"For the last five minutes."
"I...should probably go get Lelianna." Harding said at last, grimacing. "If she finds out from anyone else, she's going to put an arrow in his knee."
Herah's eyes widened.
"You did not just go there."
"Definitely did, Herald." the scout saluted and gave a saucy wink before marching off. "Good luck."
...thanks."
Dark eyes swung back to the scene as Naruto started spitting curses again.
The sight was, Adaar thought to herself as she leaned against the rookery arch, perhaps one of the most, if not the, most amusing thing that she'd seen in a very long while. Naruto was utterly incapable of stopping the bird without resorting to lethal force, which even she knew he tended to avoid. It was kind of cute, really. In a pitiful sort of way. Of course Herah wasn't about to tell him that, not when he was in such a state; certainly not with Lelianna's prized raven trying its damndest to peck his eyes out.
Finally, though in part fed up with the bird's antics, she took pity on him.
A sliver of electricity sprang to life in her palm, a mere fraction of the energy she could bring to bear. Bzzt. She allowed the violet-white current to dance at her fingertips a moment longer before finally giving it direction and purpose; thought lent to form and form to action. Her wrist snapped out, casting the sparkling current towards the raven, just as it circled about to strike again-
BZZZZAP!
"AW!"
The insufferable baron took towards the rafters as though he'd been struck, trailing dark feathers in his wake. Naruto froze at the sudden noise, arms still raised, eyes widening as he realized he wasn't alone. Then, as if he were almost annoyed, he twitched, hurriedly brushing feathers from his hair. He shot her a dark, smoldering look as she sauntered over and for a terrifying moment, she thought he was actually going to snap at her again.
Instead he sighed, deflating.
"Not. A. Word."
"Who? Oh, me? No! Wouldn't dream of it." humor was always a defense for her when she was feeling vulnerable, even so, the small smirk danced at the corners of her mouth and she raised her arms, placating. At his disparaging look, she continued cheekily. "I swear on the Qun!" She reached down before he could protest, plucking an ebon wing from his hair.
"You're Tal Vashoth." he muttered, slapping her hand away, but the words were without rancor. "I don't know much, but I'm pretty sure you don't believe in that shit."
...yes, well there is that."
An awkward silence persisted between the pair after that, a wet blanket smothering them in uncomfortable stoicism.
"Look...I'm sorry." the qunari offered at last, fidgeting.
"Damn well should be." A slight smile finally plucked at his whiskered cheeks. "You're still dealing with the templars, though."
"Ass!" she cried, elbowing him. The blond winced slightly, holding his side with a hiss.
"Problem?"
"Gah, I'm fine." he muttered, rubbing his ribs. "Damn bird doesn't like delivering my messages, is all. Sharp claws."
"Who was it for?"
His face lit up.
"Well, I was planning a prank on Cullen-"
As though in agreement, a low sound greeted them.
"Caw."
"Eh?"
Raising his gaze, he found himself looking at the very bird Herah had zapped...and the little bastard glared right back, preening proudly.
"You again!" it was a hiss.
The shrouded black creature fluttered onto the balcony, clattering the stone with its claws and stirring the morning air. Herah chuckled.
"I think he likes you."
"He does not! Shoo!" he motioned at the beast.
"Aw!"
It cocked its head, wings snapping at its side before letting out a sharp piercing caw.
"See?" she offered. "Perfectly happy."
"No," he snapped, "I'm not happy. Why would I be? He tried to peck my eyes out!"
"Aw?"
"We are not having this conversation. I can't believe I'm even talking to ya. People will think I'm crazy! Me! A cursed shinobi, talking to a damned bird! Might as well be in a mental institution!" That much, was true. Not the crazy part; the part about being cursed. Indeed, he was beginning to believe that his ill luck did not come from mere happenstance, but rather, that he'd somehow gotten himself cursed from his time in the Fade. Or whatever it was they called it.
"Stupid bird." he muttered, spitting in its direction.
"Aw?!"
Naruto frowned up at the damned crow and its persistence, glaring at its noisy behavior. He reached down to pull a stone off the ground, tossing the small pebble menacingly. He grumbled softly to himself reaching up to toss the tiny rock into the air at the crow's feet below the rail and shoo the thing away.
"Get outta here! Get!" His hand whipped about, casting the stone wide.
The crow's left foot shifted as it dodged nimbly, wings rising once more to intimidate the intruder. The cawing persisted, small black eyes staring at the the shinobi indifferently.
"Alright, that's it!"
Naruto snarled, finally tossing another pebble completely at the bird. It smacked against the stone wall and the crow lifted into the air squawking in protest before shooting past him down the halls to land safely in a corner of candles and mortar.
"Nothing but a rat with wings, you are." He called after it. "Nasty bird!"
The crow fluffed in offense, its neck elongating to shoot a loud, nasty caw back at him.
Naruto opened his mouth to reply-
"What are you doing?!"
At long last, amidst the Baron's dramatic flapping and squawking, Lelianna had arrived to investigate. And she looked absolutely livid. Bright eyes danced with sound and fury as the former sister stormed towards them from across the. Had Naruto been possessed of a weaker constitution he might have fainted dead away at As it were he met the spy look for look, unflinching as the redhead A simple coo and the baron hopped onto her arm and nuzzled her neck, a
"How the hell did you do that?!" Naruto accused! "Is it blood magic? Its blood magic, isn't it?"
Herah guffawed openly. "Excuse me?"
"Sorry, sorry!"
"You only say that because you don't like animals!" she accused.
"I'm plenty good with animals!" the blond decried loudly, shaking a fist in the raven's direction. "Everyone but him! HIM! That bird-
"-raven!-"
"That raven is a pain in the ass! A holy terror! Nearly pecking out my eye!"
The sister shot him a look.
"How the hell does she do that? Is it blood magic? Its blood magic, isn't it?" Herah mimed, laughing.
"You are not helping, Herald!"
Whatever else might have been
Serah sniggered, running up to them, looking like a cat that'd just gotten into the creme.
"Hey whiskers! she beamed. "Wanna show you somethin!"
Naruto twitched. "Whiskers? Is that what you're calling me, now?"
"Oh, just look at what I found!, already"
"Eh?"
The so-called "Elvish" offering plate was what she wanted to reveal to them; Sera gingerly showed them it and held it up to her companions, for all to see. "Look at this shite, you can still see the bloody offering, before the people wised up and abandoned this place, in the plate. Wonder why Solas had it?"
"Wait, Solas?!" Herah bristled. "You took that from Solas's hut?!"
"Yeah, why? It looked important so I ah, borrowed it."
Sera put her face right up to the important artifact, as if decreasing the distance would increase her understanding. Then, with a sharp intake of breath, she sneezed explosively, blowing the content of the plate into Naruto's face. There was a moment of terrible, ponderous silence as the trio stared at one another.
Then the blond scowled.
"SERAH!
"Sorry!" she wailed!
Naruto ignored her, groaning quietly as he struggled to clear his blurring vision. Why did his body feel weird...?
"That was elven!" he hissed, pawing at his face. "I've got enough magic mucking around in my body as it is and...why are you grinning?" He reached up, frowning. The tip of a pointed ear greeted the touch of his hand, fingers smaller than they should be. Wait, what? Sputtering, the blond glanced about himself, suddenly aware of the distant sensation of hair brushing his neck.
Lelianna balked slightly. "Oh, dear...
She pointed, sniggering. "You've got tits!"
Naruto glanced down.
"Aw, piss."
An awkward beat of silence passed as he made the connection. And then.
And then:
...why the fuck do I look like an elf, oi?!"
A/N: Aaaaaand there we go. Naruto as another Herald/Inquisitor in addition to the original, if you will. Someone suggested I give it a go, and by Andraste, I hope I didn't dissapoint. If this Naruto seems a little snarkier than most, its because he's realized that his world is probably gone, lost, or forever ruined by his actions. That'd do a lot to mess with a guy's head, not to mention the fact that he's just realized he's ever known is now forever beyond his reach.
And woe to ye who mess with our favorite blond! And YES, the Warden will be making an appearance in this fic, unlike the game! God, that really annoyed me...
So...in the Immortal Words of Serah...
...Review! Or would you rather have an arrow to the face? Regardless of whether you do or not,iIt would make me oh so very happy to hear what you think of this story =D And of course, enjoy the preview! PAIN and HUMOR INBOUND! Eh as long as its, good, right? Can't be shite or nothin'...DARNIT SERAH! Fair warning, its silly as can be!
(Preview!)
"What did you do?"
...nothin'."
"This is not "nothing", herald!"
Solar stared in horror at the scene before him.
He knew something was wrong, just as he he'd known last week when the shinobi dyed his robes orange. Or when she'd glued that wig to his head. There was a certain gleam in those blue eyes that you had to watch out for; had to preempt, or you'd end up in a VERY sore spot, wondering what happened last night and who was sleeping on top of you. The blond just had that sort of...way about him. Or her, since that curse had all but been forced upon them.
Odd, that the ninja's predicament had only made Naruto even more troublesome...one could only pray that they'd find a curse for this curse soon.
Solas had learned to predict such mischeif over a period of days, then weeks, but the trickster's grin-accompanied by the relative disorder of his quarters floored even him.
"What did you do?" he demanded anew.
Naruto's smile was unabashedly unapologetic.
"Alright, fine...but you can't be angry at me."
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
R&R! =D