Best for Last: Pt II
Chapter Fifteen
ELIZA'S POV
Forcing my eyes open, my forehead creases as I sit up on my elbows. Last night, I came to Arizona's place with the intention of leaving her one final time. But this morning, I've woken in her bed, wearing her clothes, just like it used to be. To say I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement, so I just need a moment to catch my breath and realize that this is actually happening. That I'm here. With her. Where I've always dreamed I would be. Slowly lying back down, my eyes focus on the ceiling above me, Arizona's scent enveloping me and keeping me safe. She's not beside me, but I know she's here. I can feel her. All over me, actually.
Sitting upright, I shift back against the headboard and glance around her bedroom. It's typical Arizona. Trinkets and bits and pieces are scattered across her dresser, and her impressive sneaker collection is on show along the far wall. Smiling, my body relaxes into the mattress, the sound of movement outside the door catching my attention.
"Eliza?" Her soft voice, the one I've dreamed about, calls out gently. "Sorry to wake you…"
"It's okay." I clear my throat as the door opens. "I'm awake."
"Hey, good morning." Arizona closes the distance, coffee in her hands. "How did you sleep?"
"Okay, I think." I smile weakly. "Adjusting, right now."
"Adjusting?" Arizona takes a seat on the edge of the bed beside me.
"Being here. With you." I take a cup of coffee from her. "You know…"
"Yeah." She drops her eyes. "Sorry."
"So?" I breathe out. "This place is great."
"Small talk." Arizona laughs, nodding ever so slightly. "We're taking up small talk."
"I don't know what else to say," I admit. "I didn't think I'd be here this morning."
"No, me neither." She agrees. "Perhaps we should have this conversation another time?" I appreciate that she's just as stumped as I am, but I don't know how to even begin this conversation. Whatever it may be. "I have to train today and I'm sure you have things to do, too."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"I'll be finished by midday." Her eyes focus on mine, the soft blue calming me like it always did. "I don't know what your plans are, but if you're free…I'd like to see you."
"I'll see what I have to do when I get back to my place."
"Yeah, okay." Arizona stands, unsure of her next move. "I'll get out of your way, okay?"
"Wait." I sigh, setting my cup down on the nightstand. "I'm sorry." Standing, I take her hand in my own and release a deep breath. "I'd love to see you this evening."
"Yeah?"
"More than anything." There is no use tiptoeing around. Not when she is here and willing to make a go of this. "Just…call me when you're done training for the day. I'll only be at my apartment."
"Your apartment." She gives me a sad smile. "You remember when it was ours?"
"I do." I nod, glancing out of the window, our hands still entwined. "I remember every moment I had you there with me. Every memory."
"You think maybe one day we will go back to that?" She follows my line of sight, moving closer to me. "You think one day everything will be okay again?"
"I hope so."
"I meant everything I said to you last night, Eliza." Arizona turns back to face me. "When I told you that I would end my career for you, I meant it."
"I don't want it to come to that."
"Me neither, but it could. It's a very real possibility."
"And we will face that if or when the time comes." I know she's just as worried as I am, but there is no use thinking too hard about it now. She's only just signed with her new team, so I know I have her for at least a year. After that year, if things change, we will tackle it then. I could be in a different position myself, I don't know.
"I'm not sure that's the right way to go about all of this, but okay."
"You don't think I believe the things you said, do you?" I ask, giving Arizona a sad smile. "You can be honest with me."
"No, I don't." She admits. "I'm scared, Eliza." Her voice breaking, it shocks me to see her like this. "Y-You tried to end your life and none of this, what we've become, is okay."
"I'm sorry." My arm wraps around her waist. "For scaring you like that. For ever thinking about doing what I did. It was selfish."
"You really wanted to end it all?" Arizona looks at me with a sadness I've never witnessed before. "You really wanted to leave me? I'd never have seen you again."
"I was in a bad place." My eyes close, desperately trying to hold off on the tears I can feel forming. "I never wanted to leave you."
"I-If you'd succeeded…if what you'd done had worked and I hadn't found you." Her body weakens, her knees, too. "Oh, god." Stumbling back against the bed, Arizona drops down to the mattress, sobs taking over her body. "If you'd died, Eliza…"
"Hey, don't." I drop down beside Arizona, pressing a kiss to her head as she leans against me, holding me close. "It's over, and I'm okay."
"I just…" Her body shakes, the tears falling hard and fast. "I need you to never do something like that again. I'd never survive losing you, Eliza."
"I'm here, okay." Arizona lifts her head and I take her face in both hands. "I'm here."
"Yes." She whispers, those blue eyes closing. "Yes, you are."
"Tonight, come to my place and we will talk…"
"I'd like that." She agrees, nodding her head but her eyes remaining closed. "Anything with you…"
ARIZONA'S POV
She's okay. She's good. Scoffing as I climb from my car, I know that couldn't be further from the truth. I know that even though Eliza tells me she's okay, she can't possibly be. How can someone try to end their life, only to be okay the next day? I know it was a cry for help, and I'm thankful that she's here, but I'm not sure she's totally okay. Hell, even I don't feel okay about it all, so I find it hard to believe that she is.
Entering the block, I take the elevator up to the apartment, my hands clammy. I don't know what this evening will involve, but I feel less anxious about it all than I did this morning at my place. Waking beside her felt like a dream, but it always did feel that way. It always did feel like complete euphoria. This has to be our time. I can never let her down again. I always knew I loved Eliza, but school and careers got in the way when I promised myself they wouldn't. When I went to London, I should've fought. I should've come home and gave her whatever she needed. It's just soccer. It's just me, kicking a ball around a pitch. Was that all really more important than the love of my life? I can say with complete certainty, from this moment on, that it's not and never will be again.
Releasing a deep breath as I step out onto Eliza's corridor, the light is shining beneath her door. The last time I was here, she was unconscious. She was attempting to end her life. The last time I was here, I thought I was going to lose her. Never to see her again. Our lasting memory, fighting. Stopping, I remove those thoughts from my mind and shake the anxiety from my body. Feeling like this isn't going to do either of us any favors, so I need to get myself out of this mindset and just enjoy my evening with Eliza.
Taking one final deep breath, I clear my throat and knock on the door separating us. Hearing movement, a relief settles inside me. "Arizona."
Oh, no…
"M-Mrs. Minnick." My stomach somersaults. "Hi."
"Eliza said you were coming by." She says, her voice holding nothing for me.
"Yes, but I can leave." I back up. "I'm interrupting. Just…could you tell her I came by?"
"Maybe you could tell her yourself?" Eliza's mom arches an eyebrow. "Unless you plan to run out again?"
"N-No." My brow furrowed, I can't believe how things have turned out between us. At one time, her mom would've moved heaven and earth for me…but now, now she can't look at me. "Maybe I should come back another time. I'm sorry." Turning on my heel, tears prick my eyes and my heart sinks into my stomach. Eliza's mom is never going to allow this. I know she doesn't technically have a say in our relationship, but she and Eliza are super close, and I know she will agree with her mom.
"Arizona, wait!" Eliza's voice pierces through the silence of the corridor, causing me to stop dead. "Hey…" She grips my wrist from behind, turning me around. "I'm sorry about that."
"No, your mom is right." I give her a sad smile, wiping a tear from my jawline. "When you've spoken to her, call me. Whatever you both decide between you. I won't be mad."
"This is my life, not my mom's." Something in Eliza's voice has changed. A certainty. A determination for the both of us. "She can be as mad as she wants to be, but she isn't going to push you away. I won't let her."
"Eliza." I lace our fingers, stepping closer to her. "You know I love you and you know I want what's best for you. Your mom doesn't believe that's me, and to some extent, I can understand why."
"I can't." She says. "Please, come inside."
"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea." I shake my head, a slight laugh falling from my mouth. "I'll happily come back when we can be alone, though."
"She's leaving." Eliza tugs me down the corridor and inside her apartment. "Mom, I've got this."
"I don't understand, Eliza." Her mom sighs. "You said you were going by last night to end things once and for all."
"And that was a mistake."
"Why?" Mrs. Minnick asks. "Because she looked at you lovingly and told you she wouldn't leave again?"
"Actually, yes." Eliza squeezes my hand, but I don't feel like I should be here at all. I want to stick it out and stand up for myself, but Mrs. Minnick is like another mother to me. I wouldn't dare disrespect her or her opinion. If she believes I'm wrong for her daughter, I don't know how I'm supposed to change her mind.
"Mrs. Minnick." I mouth runs dry. "I know I haven't done anything lately that would cause you to trust me, but you have to believe that I love Eliza. More than anything in this world."
"Mm." Scoffing, she shakes her head and grabs her purse from the counter.
"I know we've messed up, or rather I've messed up, more than once, but I'm here and I'm never leaving again. Eliza knows that, and she trusts me when I say that. I would appreciate it if you could do the same."
"Honestly…" She approaches me. "I'm not sure I could ever truly trust you again, Arizona." Disappointment in her voice cutting through me like a knife, I drop my gaze and simply nod. "If Eliza wants to make this mistake, I won't stop her. I won't be the one to hurt her. You do that enough alone."
"Mom!"
"Goodbye, Eliza." Mrs. Minnick approaches the door. "I'll call you in a few days." Shuddering as the door slams shut, my lip trembles as I try to control my emotions. I know she isn't fond of me right now, but I didn't expect that attitude or that look from her. I completely understand that times have changed between us all, but still…I expected something more from her. Anything but that.
"I'm so sorry." Eliza pulls me closer. "Arizona, look at me."
"She's right." I smile weakly. "Everything she has just said was totally right."
"No."
"You're out of your mind giving me another chance." I laugh. "Completely out of your freaking mind."
"Don't do this," Eliza begs. "Don't let her push you away."
"Oh, I'm not," I say with certainty. "I'm never losing you again. I just hoped things could've turned out differently."
"Do you love me?"
"More than life…" I fist my hand in her tee, pulling her flush against me. "I love you so much, Eliza."
"Then that is the only thing that matters." She smiles fully for the first time in a long time. "Mom will come around. I know she will."
The sound of the track changing that is playing low in the background, my arms wrap around her waist. "Dance with me?"
"I'd love nothing more…"
There's so much craziness surrounding me
There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe
All my faith has gone you bring it back to me
You make it real for me
Well I'm not sure of my priorities
I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
And like holy water washing over me
Pressing my forehead against Eliza's, a smile curls on my mouth, our arms holding one another securely. She's right, her mom will come around. If she doesn't, there is nothing I can do about it. Once she sees that I'm here for her daughter, she will see that I'm the one for Eliza. She will see just how much this gorgeous woman means to me.
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately
'Cause you make it real for me
When my head is strong, but my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
But I can find the words
You teach my heart to speak
"Thank you," Eliza whispers, her lips brushing mine. "For coming back. For staying tonight."
"I love you. There is no way I'm about to run away."
"I'm so proud of you, Arizona." Eliza's lips ghost over my own. "You've done exactly what you wanted to do. You are successful…you made it."
"None of it matters anymore," I whisper, my eyes closing. "You. You are where I should be. Where I need to be. Forever."
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately
'Cause you make it real for me
Everybody's talking in words
I don't understand
You got to be the only one
Who knows just who I am
And you shine in the distance
I hope I can make it through
'Cause the only place
That I want to be
Is right back home with you
"You know…" Smiling, I focus on her gorgeous green eyes. "Being here with you like this…it's like we never parted."
"I know." Eliza's arms wrap around my neck, our bodies slowly swaying. "I've missed you so much."
"Some days I wanted to end it all," I admit. "The soccer, it didn't matter. It will never matter like it once did. This, with you, is where I want to be. When I tell you I'm not leaving, I promise you. With my entire being, I promise you, Eliza."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
I guess there's so much more
I have to run
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere,
Somewhere I can run
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately
'Cause you make it real for me
You make it real for me
"I can travel," I say.
"Travel where?" Eliza studies my face.
"From here to Orlando daily." I shrug. "If this is where you want to be."
"I-I hadn't thought about it."
"No rush." I smile, pressing my lips to her own. "Just…if that's what you want, we can make this our home."
"You want us to have a home together again?" Eliza's eyes brighten but her unshed tears don't go unnoticed by me. "Y-You mean that?"
"We were always supposed to have a home together, beautiful." My thumb trails her cheek. "That will never change."
"You." She sighs, smiling. "Just…god, I don't even know."
Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. Song was 'You Make It Real' by James Morrison.