This will be a tag to 6x02 because to be honest that ending could have been so much better with an interaction between the brothers. Thank you for many of the prompts that you guys have written for me and I will try to get to them. I was just so disappointed in that episode and I felt that many people also felt that way, so here is what I would have done If I were the the creators of One Chicago. Please do note that I couldn't rewatch the episode so everything is from my memory and details that I read from other stories. I'm sorry if I don't know the exact words or lines from the show.
"Help me, I want to see my father," He had said. The man who killed his father.
When Jay's father was dead because of what he had done. Jay wanted that man to die, no, he wanted him to suffer the pain of never seeing their father again. Jay wanted him to feel the pain of not being able to say a proper goodbye to your father, that pain was unbearable.
The two bullets he felt punch him in the chest, one right where his heart was, It hadn't gone through, the third one however he felt it. Felt it as it ripped through his flesh in his side, felt the warm liquid ooze through his fingertips. He stumbled tripping over his feet, his right shoulder slamming into the concrete.
Jay tried to breathe, his breath hitching as every twitch sent a wave of pain up his body. He felt the warmth seep into his shirt and a more on his back, it was a through and through. He took a moment and finally radioed for an ambo, "offender down" he had called for. He turned his body around, elbows on the ground and inched his way towards Daniel, getting light headed because of the spikes of pain it caused. It was then when Daniel had said that he missed his father, an incomparable amount of anger pushed through him.
The adrenaline had kicked in, wait no, it had been there when Jay was chasing him, it was just that now he felt it. Jay lunged forward, mustering up the strength he surprisingly found and put a finger at his neck, feeling for a pulse. His bullets were sent for a purpose and it had hit its target, but Daniel was fading fast, too fast. His pulse fluttered beneath Jay's fingertips and Jay instantly knew he messed up, adrenaline, it really didn't get him to think clearly.
While his adrenaline still pumped through him, Jay had enough strength to pull his other arm up and grab the gun out of his hand, sliding it across the street, the job was never done. Jay coughed the pain in his ribs and the adrenaline that was quickly fading catching up to him. He was getting more light headed, he felt nauseous to seeing the blood on Daniel's chest and seeing his own.
His blood pressure was dropping, he felt it as he became weak and slid off onto the road. He had heard once somewhere that when seeing blood, a normal human body's reaction was to lower blood pressure in order to stop bleeding, he felt that now.
The pain in his lower abdomen right above his pelvic bone was slowly getting worse. It felt like a screwdriver was wrenched into him. He felt as if someone was repeatedly stabbing him with it every heartbeat that pulsed in that area. Jay coughed, bile rising in the back of his throat both from the flaring pain and sudden guilt that passed through him, everyone was going to be disappointed, Voight of course and especially Will.
Like a savior's calling Jay heard Ruzek saying his name and the sound of running footsteps. Before he knew it, Hailey was leaned over him and he tried to raise his head, minimally embarrassed before putting it back down. Hailey ripped open his shirt, the buttons popping out and with trembling fingers checked that the bullets in the center of his chest hadn't gone through. She then placed her two hands over his side wound that was bleeding rather profusely which made Jay wince his lips pulling into a straight line.
The pressure that Hailey put on him made Jay too dizzy to look up anymore and raised his arm on his forehead, resting it there. He barely heard as Ruzek called for the cops to block off the road and Hailey's frantic calls for him to stay with him. He felt stupid, he was always too stupid, making rash decisions left and right, it was a goddamn miracle he was still alive.
Jay tried to breathe through his nose masking the pain, the look in Hailey's eyes were just too much. He tilted his head to the side avoiding her eyes, he was embarrassed. It'd felt like forever had passed when he heard the distinct wail of an ambulance and saw as paramedics lifted Daniel's body off the ground. They checked his pulse and immediately covered him in a white sheet, he was gone.
A panic rose in Jay's chest as a set of paramedics came towards him and helped him sit up. He grunted and felt dizzy and leaned on them while Hailey continued to grab his hand. Jay was lost in a daze, he zoned out for what he felt like was a couple of minutes until he realized that now he was sitting in the back of the ambulance, a paramedic talking to him.
He heard her vaguely talking about that he still had to go to med, that the bullet had went right through him and that it didn't hit anything major. Jay snapped back into reality when he saw his boss walk up to him. His head shamely made its way looking at the floor, unable to look into his boss's eyes.
A talk about disobeying your bosses order is not a fun one, and Jay couldn't will himself to looking up, not after what he did. Most of his scolding was blocked out by the overwhelming feeling of guilt and nausea.
"It's my job to keep you alive, to look out for you" Was when Jay looked up, a softer more concerned look greeting him.
Jay was ashamed, so many people had stressed out over his life and he was ultimately going to be the one who was going to end up hurting himself. After a quick yes sir, Voight stepped away after giving a pat on his shoulder. The paramedic had him sit on a stretcher and closed the door behind her as she shut the door.
It was only when the engine started and the sirens started to wail that he felt the day's events finally catch up to him. Only hours had passed before he had to let go of his dad. He had shot the man who basically was his dad's murderer and now he had two nasty looking bruises and one hole through him. He'd killed another man today, just like he had killed people ruthlessly overseas, just like he had shot that girl in the daycare, just like he had accidentally fired his own in Afghanistan.
Jay couldn't help it when tears leaked their way out in frustration and anger. He punched the wall of the ambulance a sudden outburst of emotion taking him off guard. Startled the paramedic tried to calm him down.
"It's always my fault, It's always my fault, always my fault." Jay screamed choking up as he repeated the last line.
His chin wrinkled in an ugly way as he cried ugly tears into his hands. Jay was sobbing his shoulders heaving with every breath, in his mind he told himself this was not the way a past ranger acted. He tried to stop himself but ended up making unpleasant gurgling noises. He couldn't help it anymore, it was true and he couldn't deny it, it was always his fault.
His hands covered his face and he hunched forward, his elbows on his knees despite the pain it causes in his abdomen. That was when the paramedic placed a warm hand on his shoulder in an effort to calm him down, not realizing that it would just make things worse. Jay jerked back, his breaths becoming faster and faster as he felt a panic attack coming.
Everyone seemed to place a hand on his shoulder when someone would die, it seemed to be a motion everyone would do to comfort him. But that meant they were always comforting for a death, or a tragedy. Jay couldn't, he just couldn't deal with this one, he didn't want anyone's comforting.
He felt himself losing,he had given up trying to steady his breath, he'd rather just pass out and never wake up. Jay heard the paramedic yelling at him telling him to calm down and he felt a hand on his wrist. Instinct, he pulled away, his panic growing the lights of the ambulance blurred in front of him.
The paramedic was instructing him to breathe but he couldn't, his chest hurt, his head hurt, his heart hurt, hell everything hurt. Jay choked, he felt really dizzy now, his fingers tingled and he was pretty sure he was going to die.
He didn't even realize it but the ambulance had stopped and the driver had opened the back door and now they were pulling him out. The thought of him meeting his brother and facing him just made Jay continue his way down a full blown panic attack. He honestly could not figure out how he had managed to have not passed out yet.
"Jay, JAY!" He heard Will.
"Jay what's wrong?!" Will was shouting, alarmed at the sight of his baby brother who was breathing way too fast and was a teary mess.
"It's- always- my fault" Jay whimpered the feeling which felt like the lack of oxygen taking a toll on his body. He continued to breathe quicker than a normal rate which worried Will.
Will checked his brother over, seeing his packed side wound and reached for his hand. It was cold and trembling slightly he could feel. Jay slightly jerked as he felt Will's hand against his but it surprisingly had a relaxing effect. The paramedics pushed the stretcher through the doors of med and was pushed into an empty room.
The noisy ER had made Jay flinch and his breath hitched again when Will noticed this and quickly got up to shut the glass doors, surprisingly blocking most of the noise out. Jay didn't notice when Rhodes slipped into the room silently waiting beside the door.
Seeing his brother in front of him, Jay had another emotional breakdown when he saw a worried look on is face. Once the first tear had made its way down his cheek Jay was pretty sure he cried at least an ocean of tears out.
"I-I, Dad died, Mom died, everyone dies Will, everyone- everyone I love dies Will, I can't- I can't, and I can't do anything to stop it. Daniel, he wanted- he wanted to see his dad, he wanted to see his dad, Will we don't have a dad anymore, I am the problem Will, It's me everyone around me is hurt, I am the problem." Jay stuttered breaking down in tears. This was as vulnerable he was ever going to get in his lifetime.
"Jay, look at me." Will said turning Jay's head towards him when he tried to look away.
"You are not the problem, okay, Look at me Jay, you are not the problem it's not your fault."
"That's what they always say Will, They ALWAYS say that it isn't my fault, but it is, it always is." Jay choked out repeating the last line like he was in trance.
"Jay, Jay, LOOK at ME, You are not the problem. Listen to me for once will you, you did the best you could, you work the harder than anyone I know, stop looking away JAY, look at me, it's not your fault." Will said with a stern look.
"You need to calm down though, okay? Can you that for me Jay? Please, your body can't handle this right now. Jay look at me, I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to be next to you but please you gotta calm down first." Will offered in a soothing voice running his fingers through his brother's hair in an attempt to calm him down. It seemed to have worked when he was little and had woke up terrified by monster filled nightmares
"Will-" Jay breathed out, trying to follow his brother and held his breath and slowly let it go.
The pain he had almost forgotten about slivered back into his reality and unconsciously Jay hovered his hand protectively around his side. Suddenly a pain he hadn't felt before took him off guard and he moaned and leaned back against the stretcher, catching both Rhodes and Will's attention. This time he was sure he had calmed down and wasn't having a panic attack but he couldn't breathe.
"What's wrong, Jay, talk to me what's wrong?!" Will asked in a panic when he realized his brother was struggling to breathe.
This was different from a panic attack, before when Jay had one he was breathing too fast, he had too much oxygen, now his stats were dropping, his blood pressure diving and his heart rate increasing.
Rhodes who was awaiting by the door quickly rushed to their side when he noticed that Jay was losing consciousness. Before Jay could say anything to respond to his brother his eyes slid shut and the various alarms that blared scared Will.
Without warning, Natalie rushed in after hearing the commontions from the other room and dragged a distressed Will out of the room.
"What, What's happening, he was fine a SECOND ago, TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING!" Will shouted trying to break free from Natalie's grip, man she was a strong woman.
Inside, Rhodes lowered the stretcher and placed a stethoscope on Jay's bruised heart. Maggie rushed in the room and monitored Jay's stats which continued to go downhill. Rhodes suspicions were confirmed when he checked Jay's neck vein which prominently bulged outwards.
"Damn it, he's had serious blunt chest trauma from the bullet that didn't go through, muffled heart sounds, low blood pressure, engorged neck vein, Beck's triad, it's cardiac tamponade." Rhodes shouted and glanced at Will who was outside, still struggling against Natalie.
"Blood pressures dropping, Rhodes" Maggie yelled.
"We need to do a pericardiocentesis, I need a large gauge needle and 50mL syringe, We need an echo." Rhodes shouted keeping a close eye on Jay's blood pressure it was getting dangerously low.
Maggie had put an oxygen mask over Jay's face and watched intently at the monitor as Rhodes moved the echocardiogram probe around Jay's heart.
"Got it," Rhodes said and Maggie handed him the syringe.
Connor put angled it at 20 degrees and slowly pushed it in the direction of his left shoulder. When he hit the pericardial sac, instantly a mixture of blood and pericardial fluid rushed out and his blood pressure was instantly stabled.
"We need to get him to the OR, set him up for a pericardial drain" Rhodes said.
He secured the needle and syringe in place and lowered the sides of the stretched and wheeled him out of the room passing Will who finally broke out of Natalie's grasp.
"Jay-" Will breathed out and tried to grab his hand, but was blocked by Maggie.
"Will, you got to listen to me, Jay had a cardiac tamponade and he's going up for a drain, You know that Jay is in one of the best hands we've got okay? You need to go sit down" Maggie offered in her most soothing voice and dragged Will away.
Will couldn't believe it, a full day hadn't passed since his father had passed away in the same room. His brother was relatively fine except for his emotional break down and bullet wound. Now he was on oxygen and need surgery for something he didn't expect to happen. The thoughts made him dizzy and he let out heavy breaths trying to clear his lightheadedness. He stumbled against the desk.
Natalie grabbed Will's arm and ushered him to sit down in the staff lounge. Will immediately collapsed onto the sofa his head in his hands. NAtalie rubbed circles on his back while he quietly sobbed. Seeing his brother in physical pain angered him, seeing his brother in emotional distress, made him hurt too.
Will knew he was a part of his emotional pain, if only he'd been there for him after the war. If only he had been with him after mom died, if only he had comforted him more when dad died, if only he had been with him when he knew his brother was hurting.
Watching his brother break down like that in front of him, it was something else. It took a lot of stress and pain for Jay Halstead to cry like that, Will can't remember the last time he saw his brother when he was such an emotional wreck. WIll couldn't help his sighs when he thought about how much Jay was hurting right now, he felt guilty, for cutting him off before when Jay was telling him for the first time about how he actually felt.
Will didn't even think about the part where Jay had suddenly lost consciousness and Rhodes had took over, it was too overwhelming. He stood up finding the urge to find some water, the bile in the back of his throat rising. He felt so nauseas, the events throughout the day coming back to him in a vengeance. He scurried over the to trash can and puked, his stomach emptied itself mostly of water and a little bit of his breakfast, he hadn't eaten anything for lunch. In his subconsciousness he felt Natalie patting his back as he continued to choke out bile up his esophagus.
Out of nowhere, Ethan had appeared and handed Will an opened water bottle, holding the cap for him. Graciously, Will accepted the bottle of poland spring and drank about halfway until Natalie stopped him, at that rate he was going to drink himself sick.
Will sat back down, and swallowed the acidic taste stinging the back of his throat. Today, he hoped was going to be the worst day in his life, he couldn't imagine anything more painful as this day.
"Hey, Will you want to talk about it." Natalie asked, trying to comfort her fiance.
He shook his head, Will couldn't, he wouldn't even know what to say the emotions inside of him were just to much.
"No" He croaked.
Will completely sank into his knees and folded his hands, and bowed his head on top of them. Natalie knew her fiance was not a very religious man, but it really looked like he was praying. She left him alone, knowing that it was best to give him his time right now, there was nothing she could possibly say to comfort him. She imagined herself in Will's position and was impressed, she would be handling it much much worse.
"Dr. Manning, we need you in room 3." One of the nurses shouted quitely from the door.
Sighing, Natalie rose up and murmured, "I'll be back" and kissed Will on his hairline.
Will sat there for the next two hours silently praying to whoever was up there. This couch seemed to be his meditation spot, he always found himself here anytime Jay was in the hospital. Today he was here for a relatively short time when Rhodes came by and told him that they'd successfully set up a pericardial drain, stitched up his gsw, and was set in a room.
Will thanked Connor once again, he owed him so much it was several times where Connor had performed Jay's surgeries. Will got to his feet and made his way towards Jay's room.
The sight that met him was not as frightening as the other times he'd seen jay in a hospital bed but it was enough to make him feel nauseous was sure that he wasn't gonna puke this time and dragged over a chair to sit next to his brother. An oxygen mask over Jay's face was never a sight that Will was ever going to get used to.
Jay was still out of it, the drugs they used to knock him out for the surgery had not worn off completely yet. His bandages were covered by a thin blanket, and Will was worried that he'd be cold. Will quickly went to his locker and found his flannel blanket which he kept around just for these occasions.
Will tucked it over his brothers shoulders and held his left hand. Jay's iv was placed in the crook of his elbow and was careful to not jostle it. Will studied his baby brother's hand and was pleased to find it relatively smooth and scarless, contrary to what he expected most ex-rangers hands would look like.
"Jay, I swear to god, please, don't get hurt anymore." Will could feel the tears that were about to come.
"If I lose you too, I won't have anyone left. You gotta stay strong for me man, I know you're hurting." This was going to be the deepest talk he was ever going to half with his brother, it helped that he was unconscious.
"Talk to me when you're hurting, okay? I know I was probably the shittiest brother in the world, I'll try- no I will be here for you okay? Just please, forgive me and know that it's not your fault, hell, it's more of my fault than yours." A couple of tears had made its way down Will's cheek and he quickly wiped them away.
Will sat there, holding Jay's hand and before he knew it he fell asleep. When he woke up he found two very awake pair of eyes staring at him.
"Hey Jay, how you feeling?" Will asked, pretending like he didn't have any sort of emotional speech just a couple of hours ago.
He was doctor Will now and checked his bandages on his chest and side. Will glanced up at the ecg and was pleased to find no abnormal signs. He was going to ring the bell to alert Rhodes that Jay had woken up, when Jay's hand reach for Will's hand to stop.
"Will, I forgave you a long time ago." Jay said in his croaky voice.
Jay looked up into his brother's eyes whose cheeks flushed red almost immediately when he realized Jay had heard his mini speech. Jay had heard Will talking to him, it was mostly like an echo but he still heard it. At first he thought it was a dream but Will's reaction made it clear it wasn't a dream.
"You were awake, aww dammit," Will said smiling when he saw his brothers smirky grin.
For awhile they forgot about the past tragedies of that day, and focused on eachother, glad they still had one another. Now it was really just the two of them and Will was going to make sure, his brother would be with him for the rest of his life.
Well, that is officially the longest thing I have ever written in my life and it's not even that long. This turned out not how I intended it to be as I clearly rushed through everything. Sorry, for the ending being pretty crappy and most of the storyline too, but I still think that they could have expanded so much on Jay and Will's relationship but didn't. Sorry if this is what you guys weren't looking for but thanks for reading anyway.