Lacking the experiences he had in attending funerals, Connor thought that the worst part would be to see the lifeless bodies of people who, until two days ago, were very much alive. He was wrong. The bodies in the coffin wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the heart wrenching wails of the men's families, mourning for their fathers, their sons, their brothers.

Connor wished he could un-hear all of that, the cries were still ringing in his brain after the ceremony. It was a simple ceremony, with a few people delivering eulogies, followed by the actual burial. Connor sat with Kevin at the edge of the small cemetery.

"You okay?" Connor's shirt was sticking to his back from the afternoon heat. He tugged his tie down and undid the button at the collar of his shirt.

Kevin nodded, and returned his gaze to the ground.

His eyes were red-rimmed, but Kevin hadn't cried. In fact, he hadn't spoken a word since they left the mission hut.

"Are you still thinking about...what you were saying yesterday?" Connor asked.

"What?"

"Are you still blaming yourself for this?"

Kevin just stared at his shoes.

"Kevin?"

Connor waited for another few minutes, but Kevin remained silent.

"Why don't you talk to Nabulungi?"

Kevin gave Connor a questioning look.

"Tell her how you feel," Connor suggested. If there was anyone who can get through to Kevin, it was probably Nabulungi.

"Why would I do that?" Kevin said glumly.

"Because it could help."

Kevin frowned, "Help who?"

"You? Nabulungi? I don't know? Closure…all that," Connor stuttered, "Just…talk to her. Please?"

"Maybe."

—

It was a dinner to celebrate the 'life of Mafala Hatimbi', as Arnold had put it. Nabulungi and Arnold had invited a few people over for a meal at Nabulungi's hut that night.

"A toast to Mafala," Gotswana raised his glass of beer, before downing it and smashing the empty bottle against the edge of the table.

Everybody recoiled at the crash.

"Is that...a thing?" Poptarts gaped.

"No, it is just a way for me to releases all the pent up anger and sadness that I have inside."

Arnold raised his beer, "Okay...How about we avoid sending sharp, dangerous projectiles flying all over. A toast to Mafala!"

Everyone followed suit and echoed the toast.

"And a toast to Elder McKinley, who saved us all!" Kimbay yelled.

"What?" Connor chuckled nervously, "I didn't...I didn't do anything."

"You got the attention of the police," Nabulungi explained.

Connor didn't bother to explain how the threat of a diplomatic crisis was what prompted the police to come. He just wanted to get this toast over with, so that they would stop staring at him like that.

Connor nodded hesitantly and raised his cup of water.

"Aww look, he is blushing," Gotswana grinned.

—

It was one in the morning when Connor finished clearing up Nabulungi's hut, it was the least he could do. Most of the guests have already gone back home, except for the four missionaries. Arnold had dragged Kevin and Nabulungi into her room, leaving Connor and Poptarts on the couch.

"So…when are you returning to the US?" Connor asked.

Poptarts shrugged, "I don't know yet."

"I'll miss you."

"Can you save your goodbyes for when you're really leaving, Connor? I'm too drunk for this tonight," Poptarts laid his head back.

"Do you want me to write it all down instead?"

Poptarts shoved him away.

"I mean it Poptarts, I'm really glad that you were my companion. And I'm going to miss chatting with you at three in the morning while lying in bed."

"You mean you waking me up at three in the morning to talk about Elder Price and complain about everyone else?"

Connor shoved him back.

"Yeah, Connor. I'll miss you too. This mission is probably one of craziest, and one of the best few months of my life," Poptarts said sincerely, "Keep in touch, you hear?"

"Of course. I will never stop bugging you," Connor promised, "Shall we head back? My mom will be getting worried," he pointed his thumb towards Nabulungi's room, "I have to go collect Kevin."

Connor knocked twice on Nabulungi's door, "Guys?"

The door flew open, and Arnold got up into Connor's face with a finger on his mouth, "Shhhh…They are sleeping."

Sure enough, Kevin and Nabulungi were laying on the thin futon she had as a bed, eyes closed and breathing even.

"Oh," Connor didn't realise Kevin was that tired.

Arnold sighed sadly, "They kinda cried themselves to sleep. Can Kevin stay here for the night?"

Hopefully that meant Kevin had heeded Connor's advice.

"I guess that's okay. I'll just get Poptarts back before he falls asleep on the couch outside, and come back in the morning."

"You know, I'm sure Nabulungi wouldn't mind if you guys crashed here? It's late."

Connor shook his head, "My mom will be wondering where we are."

Besides, the whole village was safer now that The General was gone.

"Oh, right! Your mom's here! Cool, okay. I'll see you tomorrow then?" Arnold nodded, "Goodnight Elder McKinley."

"Goodnight, Elder Cunningham."

—

Connor was pleasantly surprised to see sunlight when he opened his eyes. He has become so accustomed to being awoken in the middle of the night, that he has forgotten how it felt like to sleep through the night. He felt a little guilty when he realised that he slept better when Kevin wasn't in the same room. To be fair, it wasn't Kevin's fault that he was plagued with nightmares which disrupted Connor's sleep. Connor could empathise, he had been in Kevin's shoes after all. And now he knew how Poptarts felt.

Connor's nightmares died with the General. Kevin's, on the other hand, weren't getting any better. Kevin didn't remember any of them in the morning, thanks to his pills. But Connor did. Connor was stuck with the memories of waking up to crying and moaning, and more often than not, he felt even more exhausted in the morning than before he went to bed.

He loves Kevin, he does. So much. But Connor also loves to not be deprived of sleep. Did that make him a bad person? A bad partner? But this is what love meant, right? Making the choice of being with someone through thick and thin, even though it sucks sometimes?

—

"Knock knock," Connor called out as he rapped on the flimsy wooden plank of a door.

Nabulungi answered, "Elder McKinley. Good morning."

"Morning, Nabulungi. How are you doing?" Connor embraced her in a warm hug.

"I hope it gets better, but having Arnold here really helps," Nabulungi returned the hug.

"I'm glad you and Arnold have each other."

"Elder Price, not so much help," Nabulungi frowned, "He had a lot of bad dreams."

Connor stepped into the hut, "Yeah, he kinda does. Is everything okay? What happened?"

"Oh it is nothing, I just was startled awake a few times. I just…I worry about him. He is still so..."

Connor sighed, "I know. Is he awake?" Connor spotted Arnold lounging by the couch with a piece of yam in his hands, "Morning."

"Morning! Yam?"

"I already ate. Where's Kevin?"

"Listen, Kev is going to spend the day with me and Nabu, and you're not invited!" Arnold declared.

"What now?"

"Arnold," Nabulungi chided.

"You've been hogging my best friend for weeks!"

"No I haven't-"

"Who knows when I'll ever see him again! It could be months, it could be years!" Arnold's eyes widened in horror.

Nabulungi sighed, "I'm sure Elder McKinley can join us-"

Arnold folded his arms across his chest, "You can have him back at the end of the day."

"Are you being serious?" Connor couldn't really tell, "You can't...ban me from seeing Kevin?"

"I'm not banning you. I'm just saying that Kevin and I are going to be spending quality companionship time together, for one last time."

"So why is Nabulungi allowed to join and I'm not?"

"Whenever you two are together it's like you guys are in your own personal bubble," Arnold accused, "I never get to spend time with Kev anymore!"

"That's not true?"

It wasn't even remotely true. Connor could very well argue about how Nabulungi and Arnold were the ones who were doing exactly that when they hung out.

Nabulungi had enough of their squabble, "You boys decide what we are doing, I am going to go see if he is awake."

Arnold and Connor were left to stare at each other.

"Fine," Connor conceded, "I'll just go do something else."

Arnold's face broke into a wide grin, "Really?!"

"Yes, really. Maybe I'll take the time to show my mom around the village."

"You're the best!" Arnold flung himself at Connor.

"Ow ow, yeah right, okay," Connor rolled his eyes, "So does the time start now or…"

—

"Did you bring my things?"

Connor set his bag down in front of Kevin, "Of course I did."

"Thanks."

"Need any help with the shirt?" Connor offered, when Kevin just stared at the piece of clothing he was holding in his hands.

"Huh?"

"The shirt," Connor raised his eyebrows, "You okay?"

"Mm hmm," Kevin nodded, "I just can't believe this is going to be it, you know?"

Connor hummed in agreement, as he buttoned up Kevin's shirt, "But aren't you excited? We'll be starting a new life."

"I guess," Kevin smiled.

"So…did you talk to Nabulungi last night?"

Kevin's smile disappeared, "I did."

"What did she say?"

Kevin snorted, "She called me a stupid idiot."

"And? How are you feeling?"

"I feel the same, alright?! I can't just turn it off and stop feeling guilty. I can't, I don't know how. If it was that easy, did you think I wanted to feel like shit when my dad told me he'd rather me be dead? Did you think I wanted to feel so fucking scared all the time when the...when I-," Kevin deflated, "It's not that easy, Connor."

"Kevin-"

"Can we drop it? I just want to enjoy my last day here."

Connor had a sudden thought, "Your pills, did you…"

"Don't worry, I didn't," Kevin picked up the small bottle, "See, still full."

"But...you thought about it?"

Kevin sighed, "To be honest, I never really stopped thinking about it. But you don't have to worry, I promise I'm not gonna do anything stupid."

Connor trusted Kevin to keep his word, "Okay."

"So, what's the plan for today?"

Connor shook his head, "Uh, I won't be joining you three."

"What? Why?"

Connor shrugged, he didn't want to sell Arnold out, "I think my mom may be getting bored being all alone at the hut, I should bring her around or something."

"Oh, okay then. I think I'll be going to the school to visit the kids," Kevin put on his sling, "Bring her along?"

"I'll see what I can do. Be careful, you know how rough kids can be sometimes," Connor raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not made of glass," Kevin rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean."

—

Connor was eager for his mom to see what he had been up to for the past six months. It was a weird sight, for his mother to be here, in his Uganda life.

"This is the clinic! Gotswana's the only doctor in the village. Although, he's very good," Connor proudly presented Gotswana's hut.

She looked mortified, "You mean to tell me, you were out here with just a hut of a clinic, and the nearest healthcare facility was where we came from?"

Connor held out his hands, "Oh no no, there's a hospital in Kitgum. It's where we brought Kevin for his appendectomy. It's not as big, but it's much closer than the one in Kampala."

She tried, "Closer, like maybe a half hour's drive away?"

"Three hours by bus, but! That is not important!" Connor added hastily, "Let's go see the school!"

Connor took in the sights and sounds of the villagers bustling around the grounds, committing them to his memory.

"Elder McKinley!"

"Hey, Sadaka!"

She walked towards them with two bags of coffee beans balanced on her shoulders, "Who is that with you?"

"Oh, this is my mom! Mom, this is Sadaka."

"Ah, I see," Sadaka put the bags down at her feet, "Hello! Welcome to our home! Elder Mckinley and Elder Price spend a lot of time at my Kafe. Best coffee in the village! Do you want to try some?"

"Thanks, but I don't drink coffee," His mother smiled, "Tell me, what is Connor like here?"

"Mom," Connor groaned.

Sadaka laughed and patted Connor on his shoulder, "Oh he is great! All the boys to listen to him, and they have done a lot of good around the village! So different from the other useless white boys we get in the past."

"Well, we did what we could," Connor shrugged.

"Nabulungi said that you are leaving tomorrow?" Sadaka slapped Connor on the arm, "We have not even given you a proper farewell party yet!"

"Yeah, no. It's fine. It was sort of a sudden decision."

"That is too bad. You better bring your ass back to visit sometime."

"Sure thing, Sadaka."

Sadaka handed one of the bags to Connor, "I know Elder Price is going to miss my coffee a lot. So here, take this. A farewell gift."

Connor didn't have the faintest clue how to turn coffee beans into a cup of coffee, but they would figure it out.

"Thanks, Kevin would love this," Connor put his arms around Sadaka.

"I know."

"Stay safe, Sadaka."