"So it's just the three of you, then?" Castiel asked.
It was the second night that Dean had come over. The night before Dean had decided to start by painting the walls. All the priming work he had done then, leaving Castiel uncertain what to do. Tonight, however, they had started by laying out drop sheets. Then Dean had passed him a paint roller and informed Castiel he would be helping.
Castiel didn't mind. After Dean had shown him how to apply paint to the roller, make sure it wasn't overloaded, then spread it evenly, he found he quite enjoyed the activity. He left the edges for the more experienced man, but overall they were making good progress.
They talked while they worked, and Dean had just finished telling him about his family. Castiel watched him out of his peripherals, noticing the way his face lit up when he spoke of his brother, but dropped the few times he had briefly mentioned his father.
"Yup. Mom died when I was little. It really messed Dad up, but.." Dean shrugged. "Sammy turned out pretty okay. I'm hoping he'll come home for Christmas this year."
"He doesn't usually?" Castiel frowned, refraining from commenting that Dean himself had turned out pretty okay too.
"Nah. He and Dad... well, they don't see eye to eye."
"That's a shame. You must miss him."
Dean paused, sighing softly as he dropped his roller onto the empty paint tray. He grabbed the can of paint and started to refill both their trays. Castiel could tell that he was thinking, choosing his words carefully.
"Yeah, I guess. I mean he's not far away, but somehow we never have time. He's got the lawyer thing going on, and I- well, dad keeps me busy."
"Doing what?" Castiel questioned curiously.
"Well, this." Dean laughed, gesturing around them. When Castiel tilted his head in confusion, Dean frowned. "You know, the handy man stuff? What I'm doing next door?"
"What you're doing- Wait, what?" Castiel put his roller down, thoroughly confused now. "So... it's your Dad's place, then? Why is he leaving you to do all the work?"
"Dad's place?" Dean frowned at him, then a light switched on. "Wait, you think we bought the apartment?"
"Didn't you?"
"No!" Dean suddenly burst into laughter, shaking his head. "God no, I couldn't afford something like that!"
"I don't understand..." Castiel grumbled, taking a bit longer to catch up.
"Dude... I work for my Dad. You really think I'd pick out half that pretentious shit?" Dean laughed. "He runs a renovation sort of business. People hire him to refurbish something when they buy a place. They give us the money, we buy all the crap and fit it for them. Well... I fit it for them. Dad just buys the stuff. This apartment was perfectly fine, but the guy wanted everything removed and all this rich kid shit put in, for the lowest price. That's what we cater to, so here I am."
"Oh." Castiel flushed in embarrassment and dropped his eyes. He felt guilty about assuming that Dean was the spoiled rich kid, and now understood.
"Yep. Now enough about me. I'm sure it's my turn to be embarrassed about wrong assumptions, so tell me about you."
"There really isn't much to tell. I work, I come home." Castiel answered as he picked up his roller and started to paint the wall again.
"And apparently have random bouts of rage that leads to hot as hell sex with handy men." Dean commented with a smirk.
"That's not-! I don't.." Castiel trailed off with a sigh. "I'm not usually like that."
"The rage part or the sex part?"
"Both." Castiel grumbled, levelling a glare at the man.
"Okay, then tell me what you are usually like."
Castiel was quiet for a moment as he thought about it.
"I'm.. usually rather placid. I like quiet, and organisation. I write lists nearly every day, of what to do. I probably work too much, and don't really take care of my health as much as I should. I care about people way too much, and get attached easily. Though at present, that isn't an issue, since I don't really know anyone here. What else? Um... I like bees, and Elvis. I also, um..." He paused, wondering whether to drift into serious territory or not. The look on Dean's face, compelled by every word, convinced him to continue. "I.. suffer from anxiety."
"Holy shit. That's a lot to take in, man."
"Which part?" Castiel smiled ruefully.
"Give me a second."
The paint rollers were the only sound for a few moments as Castiel waited for Dean to apparently decide which part to address first.
"Every day?" Dean finally asked.
"Yes. It helps me stay on schedule."
"Hm." Dean went quiet and dipped his roller again. Then, "How much do you work?"
"I usually start at two, and finish at eleven, six days a week. Though lately I've been doing a bit of overtime. I finished at two a few days this week."
"That's twelve hour shifts." Dean commented with a frown. "And that's.. wait... like, sixty five or seventy hours?"
"Yes. Though I usually only work forty to fifty hours a week."
Dean was staring at him with an incredulous look on his face, and Castiel tilted his head in confusion.
"That's... Cas, that's way too much! And who starts that early in the morning?! Where the hell do you work?"
"At a gas n sip." Castiel couldn't understand what Dean was so worked up about. "It's twenty four hours, so I do the morning shift. Charlie, that's my manager, she gives me the regular hours so I can afford to live."
"Wait, so if you're working that much... And I'm not judging you, man, but... how come you can't afford to fix this place up?"
"It's, well, it's complicated. I have.. debts to repay..." Castiel hedged.
"It happens." Dean went quiet again, this time for longer. When he spoke again, there was an odd tone in his voice. "Anxiety?"
"Yes." Castiel sighed. This had been the one he was afraid of addressing.
"So that panic attack... it wasn't your first?"
Castiel's eyes shot up to Dean's. He should have known, by the way that Dean centred him in the elevator, the man had experience with panic attacks and hence knew what to do. But he wondered where Dean had gained the experience... Perhaps his brother?
"No..." Castiel answered quietly, searching the man's eyes for any hint of derision or rejection.
He had told people before, and they had reacted badly. He'd learnt not to let anyone in, but with Dean he felt safe. With Dean's next words, that feeling was justified.
"Cas, I'm not gonna judge you. I know how cruel people can be and what they say. But you, you're strong. Confident. Collected. Anxiety doesn't define who you are, it's just part of you. And that's not a bad thing." Dean stared at him, waiting for him to accept the words. Eventually Castiel smiled, and the man nodded before he continued with another question. "You get attached easily?"
"Very."
His cheeks were still flushed from Dean's previous words, but with this topic a heat entered the man's eyes. There was something intense in the way they stared at each other longer than was considered polite. Neither of them spoke, and Castiel felt the beginnings of arousal, but more than that there was an intimacy between them that hadn't been there before.
"Me too. I find it hard to let people in." Dean commented, stepping closer without looking away. "But once I do..."
"You can't let them go?" Castiel finished when Dean stopped mid sentence.
Dean nodded slightly, and Castiel smiled as he moved forward, almost closing the distance between them. They'd long abandoned their painting tools, and stood now mere inches apart. Castiel brought his hand up to Dean's cheek, his thumb brushing over his bottom lip.
"Cas.." Dean breathed, the tip of his tongue flicking over his lip nervously.
This was different. New. Castiel could feel it in the way his hands trembled, the way heat worked its way into his chest. This was intimate, in a way their previous encounters hadn't been, and it both terrified and excited him. He continued forward, moving his hand slightly to cup Dean's jaw, and ever so slowly pressed his lips gently to Dean's as his eyes slipped shut.
Dean sighed, his lips parting against his own. He felt the man's arms slip around his waist, gently stroking across his back. He flicked his tongue across the man's lips, their mouths moving together in a gentle, slow building passion as his free hand moved to massage the arch of Dean's back.
They finally broke for air, and Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's, trying to catch his breath. His head was spinning, but he had a feeling that had nothing to do with lack of air.
"Dean..." He whispered, opening his eyes to stare into shining green orbs. "I need you."
Need. He said need, not want. He felt a momentary flash of worry at his use of the word, but it disappeared at the sight of the smile that lit Dean's face up.
"You have me, Cas."
Castiel groaned low in his throat at the words, as he dived back in for another kiss, more heated than the last. He slowly turned them, both hands on Dean's hips as he pushed them blindly back toward the bedroom. It was a slow trek, heated and yet still gentle, and it took an age until finally Dean toppled back onto the bed.
Castiel gazed at him, panting and spread eagled on his own bed. The look Dean gave him with his pupils blown wide almost brought him to his knees, emotion overwhelming him. It had been a long time since he had felt this kind of intimacy with anyone.
He followed the man onto his bed, straddling him as he continued the kisses, though now they moved along his jaw, then down his neck. He tugged at the tank top, and Dean understood quickly, wriggling and pulling at the material until he managed the get it off and throw it across the room.
"God you're beautiful..."
Castiel commented as his hand moved to the top of his denim shorts. Before Dean could reply, he brought his mouth down on one of his nipples, licking and suckling gently. He grinned slightly as he heard a soft whimper, then slowly continued kissing a trail down as his hands got the shorts open. He gently pushed the material down, taking Dean's boxer shorts with it, until finally his erection sprang free.
"Off." He murmured quietly, tugging at the shorts to get his point across.
Dean complied quickly, shimmying out of the remainder of his clothes and kicking them off the bottom of his bed. Castiel wasted no time, sucking Dean hard into his mouth. Dean choked on a moan, his fingers tangling in Castiel's hair.
"Shit! Cas- ohhh..."
"Mm.." Castiel hummed around the cock in his mouth.
He bobbed slowly, taking more of Dean into his mouth with every stroke until finally he bypassed his gag reflex, his nose pressed into Dean's soft curls. Dean writhed under him, making soft moans and gasps as he worked the cock in his mouth. He delighted in the way Dean's fingers tightened in his hair, urging him on. His tongue pressed against the under side, bringing a gasp and another moan from the man's mouth.
Eventually he pulled away for air, only to be quickly pulled up against Dean's body, a mouth pressing insistently against his own. He groaned softly as Dean's tongue flicked into his mouth, tasting his own essence there. Shocks went through him as Dean moaned into his mouth, the kisses becoming feverish.
"I'm feeling a bit mismatched here..." Dean got out between kisses.
Castiel grinned slightly and stood off the bed, removing his clothes quickly. His own erection freed, he couldn't help but close his fist around it and give a few satisfying tugs. He glanced down as he heard Dean's moan, noticing that the man watched his every move.
"You like watching." He commented, regretfully releasing himself. "We'll have to explore that another time."
"Yeah.. Yeah, next time." Dean replied breathily, watching as he pulled a bottle of astroglide from the bedside table.
Castiel moved back onto the bed, though he straddled Dean again, his knees on the outside of Dean's hips. Dean paused, glancing at Castiel with a question in his eyes. Castiel bit his lip slightly, almost nervous as he held the bottle in his hand, staring at it.
"Dean, would you... I need you, tonight."
The confusion cleared from green eyes, and Dean smiled slightly as he reached to take the bottle from Castiel. He felt himself pulled down into another deep, heated kiss, their tongues tangling as he heard the bottle open. Moments later he moaned into Dean's mouth as he felt gentle fingers stroke down his crack, then press against the tight ring of muscle at his centre.
Dean seemed hesitant, circling around his hole until eventually with a growl of frustration, he pushed his hips back and Dean's finger breached him. He moaned at the intrusion - this wasn't his first time but somehow, this was more.
Dean seemed to get the hint and pressed further inside, barely a few moments passing before he added a second finger. He moaned as Dean stretched him open, completely focused on the fingers buried inside him while his untouched cock dribbled precum slowly.
Dean's mouth moved to his neck, kissing and biting at the skin there as he added a third finger. The fingers brushed against his prostate and Castiel moaned out, his hips pressing forward to crush his cock against Dean's, desperate for friction.
"Dean.. oh Dean..." He panted, slowly rolling his hips.
It was friction, but it wasn't enough, it wasn't what he needed. Groaning in frustration, he shifted to position himself above Dean's cock. The fingers quickly left his body and he heard the bottle of lube open. Mere moments passed and he felt Dean's slick tip pressing at his entrance.
"You look amazing like this." Dean breathed as Castiel repositioned himself, bracing his hands on Dean's shoulders.
Castiel stared down at him, locking their eyes as he slowly pressed down, impaling himself on Dean's cock slowly in short thrusts until finally he bottomed out. He groaned as Dean filled him, the slight burn adding to his pleasure. He could feel the how tense Dean was, obviously struggling to hold back until Castiel could adjust to the intrusion.
They stayed still for several moments until the burn started to fade. Dean was lightly massaging his hips, relaxing him until finally, he started to move. He started with short, shallow thrusts that sent a gentle heat curling through him, until he built up to longer ones, almost lifting off before he sunk back down, impaling himself over and over.
"Shit, Cas.. so tight..." Dean moaned, pressing up into him on each downward stroke. "Not gonna.. ah... last long like this..."
"That's okay-oh.. Me neither... God, Dean, dean..."
Castiel surged forward, meeting Dean's lips once again as he ground their hips together. The thrusts weren't as long but the way his balls and cock rubbed against Dean's belly sent heat curling in his abdomen, hurtling faster toward the edge than he would have liked.
He shifted, and suddenly Dean was pressing right on his prostate with every thrust. He froze above Dean, his fingers digging in as he cried out a litany of Dean's name. The man didn't miss a beat as he took over, gripping his hips and thrusting up into his heat. He could hear Dean moaning as he drifted closer to the edge, untouched as yet.
"I'm going to- Dean, I'm nearly- Please!" Castiel babbled, his voice desperate even to his own ears.
Then Dean moved one of his hands to wrap around his cock, and somehow the warmth of his palm overwhelmed him and sent him tumbling over the edge, his back arching forward with the ecstasy. He heard Dean give a gutteral groan and he thrust once, twice more before his hands tightened and he pulled Castiel down onto him as his cock pulsed. Castiel moaned again as he felt Dean's come flood his insides, setting off another wave of pleasure.
He fell forward against Dean's chest as they lay panting, covered in Castiel's come, shuddering slightly in the aftershocks of their orgasms. Neither of them moved as they came down from their high.
"Well." Dean finally spoke, reaching up to card fingers through his hair. "That was different."
Castiel merely hummed in reply, then slowly sat up. He winced slightly as he pulled off Dean, feeling the loss as his cock slipped out of his hole. He shot the man an apologetic smile as he moved off the bed toward the bathroom, it when he returned he had a damp washcloth. He cleaned them both off, then tossed it in the laundry hamper.
He cautiously laid back on the bed beside Dean, hoping that the man wouldn't immediately leave. His fears were quelled when Dean reached out an arm and offered a smile. Castiel instantly laid his head on his shoulder and cuddled into his side, pressing them together again.
"Dean?" He asked quietly.
"Hmm?"
"...Stay?"
Dean glanced down at him, searching his face. It was as though he knew the single word held more weight than it's definition. That Castiel meant stay, tonight but also stay with me. He felt a flicker of doubt, wondering if maybe Dean wasn't ready for a relationship - Then the man smiled, and Castiel was pulled closer against him.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll stay."
Castiel smiled to himself as he pulled the blanket over them both. He felt Dean's other arm snake around his waist, and he cuddled closer, feeling safe and secure and wanted.
They drifted into sleep like that, soft smiles on both their lips.