Light beat upon Alfred's eyelids as dawn broke in the forest. His blue eyes fluttered as the man regained his senses and urged his frozen body awake. Alfred looked past his boots and the smoldering pile of ash that had once been a warm fire. He wiped the crust from his eyes and slowly blinked as his gloved hand ran along the stubble along his jaw. The blonde bent his knees. An audible pop sounded from the young man's joints as well as the rushed flapping of wings from the local wildlife.
Alfred looked around the pine needle spot from which he had slept. An indentation from where his body once lay remained. A new sheet of snow filled in the trail of footprints to the point where Alfred had to recall where he and Ivan had come from. In the silence of morning, lost in thought, Alfred recalled all that had happened recently. He slowly gnawed on the inside of his cheek as he became lost in his thoughts.
The young man looked to his right where Ivan laid. The silver-haired man's chest slowly rose and fell with each deep breath of sleep. Alfred's gaze softened. Ivan was never as bad as Alfred tried to make it seem. All those years of living fear for what? Alfred leaned down and placed a light peck on the sleeping man's cheek despite what his boss told him what was wrong or right. His heart, although conflicted, edged him to make peace with the other nation. Maybe Alfred may allow himself to love Ivan but the repercussions of that were unthinkable. The Red Scare was alive and strong and if his boss found out, Alfred would be the butt of every joke, the warning of every fable.
He shook his head before taking a deep breath in and letting it out. The young man slowly stretched out his limbs before he made an attempt to get up from the now compressed pine needle bed. The embers in the fire pit were cold and no longer glowed when he kicked them. Alfred began kicking some snow on the ashes to cover up any signs that they had been there, but the lack of snow encompassing a dirty pile of the flakes said otherwise. He stood with his back to Ivan and shoved his hands into his bomber jacket's pockets, but, at this point his jacket did little to keep him warm.
A soft rustle behind him alerted the blonde that Ivan was waking up. He turned to meet the older man but said nothing. A rosy blush spread over Alfred cheeks as he gave a brisque wave then returned his gloved hand to his pocket. Ivan smiled.
"Good morning." The Russian greeted with a yawn. He too stood up and stretched his arms over his head. "Is there anything to eat?"
Alfred nodded his head. To his knowledge, there wasn't anything suitable for breakfast in their backpack but he did rummage around his coat pockets. "Hold on a second..." he mumbled as he pulled objects from his coat. A twenty dollar bill, an extra glove, a gas receipt and a package of almonds. He took the small bag and waved it at arms length from his body.
"I have this." Alfred offered. Ivan smiled sweetly and gently took the package and began to open it.
"You know, fredka," He began as he devided the amount of nuts in half in his gloved palm. "I'm sorry I have said some mean things to you in recent years and I am sorry." Ivan looked at Alfred and took the other man's palm and dropped some almonds in it. "I am so sorry..."
"Hey," Alfred fisted his hand around the nuts and put his arms around the Russian. "I've been totally mean too. It's a-OK, man." Alfred said in an attempt to comfort the Russian. Ivan just leaned into the American's embrace. Ivan stayed in Alfred's embrace for what felt like forever to the American. After a while, Alfred wince from the pain of the Russians arms digging into his wound. He hadn't had a chance to check the wound but he hoped it had at least scabbed over.
Ivan released Alfred form his grasp after he had squirmed around for a few seconds. Upon his release, Ivan blushed a pale pink and looked away while clearing his throat.
"I am uh... sorry. Is your... w-wound better?" Ivan asked with a clear fight for the right words to say. Alfred shrugged and unzipped his jacket then lifted his shirt. The shirt itself was stained dark red where the gas was initially but now it just looked gross. Ivan bit his lip and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "We should treat that, da?" Ivan added with a glance at the American's face.
"Sure. I guess..." Alfred replied with a gesture to the backpack that laid near their pine needle bed. He doubted there was anything helpful in there but hey, help was help. He watched Ivan as the other man rummaged around the backpack looking for anything that would be of use to treat the gash in Alfred's side. Just as the American was about to complain about being cold, Ivan pulled a small, vacuum-sealed package from one of the pockets of the backpack and stood up.
"I found this and I think it will help." Ivan smiled as he showed Alfred the package of thin gauze. The Russian knelt down and took a fist full of clean snow. Water dripped from his gloved hand to a piece of cloth which he then used to clean the affected area.
"Hey! That hurts!" Alfred cried out but Ivan only hushed him.
"Do not cry like a baby, Alfred. It is unbecoming." Ivan said in a monotone voice. After Ivan had cleaned Alfred's wound, he carefully peeled away the plastic surrounding the gauze and stuck layers of the thin fabric to the other man's gash. Alfred winced at each touch but refrained from crying out. Who knew a day old wound could still hurt so much.
Once the whole ordeal was finished, they both ate their nuts and Alfred was allowed to put his shirt down and try to regenerate the body heat he had sacrificed to the cold.
"The hamburgers have been treating you well, I see." Ivan said in an attempt to break the silence that had persisted for a few minutes. Alfred looked down at his figure at first in anger then in embarrassment.
"I guess. I think I look o.k." Alfred replied. He knew what jab Ivan was throwing and he wasn't having it. "I guess they've been treating me about as well as the steady diet of vodka has been treating you."
Ivan gave a hearty chuckle and nodded. "Da. I try to supplement my diet with more but the vodka has me in her bitter grip." He retorted while clutching his hand into a fist in the air. Alfred didn't smile.
"We should really get going. The sun isn't going to be up forever." Alfred said in an attempt to end the conversation.
Ivan nodded and went to retrieve the backpack from where he left it. Upon taking the bag into his arms, the Russian zipped up any open pockets and slung it over his shoulder. The nylon outside of the bag groaned as the man slipped his arms through the straps and adjusted it on his back. With a smile, Ivan took the lead.
The freshly fallen snow crunched under the men's boots as they walked. The campsite had long since disappeared in the distance. Alfred had been silent for a while now and Ivan had began to chew the inside of his mouth. He had begun to think that he had said something wrong but the Russian refused to look back at Alfred. He didn't want to upset the younger man further. However, Alfred held his injured abdomen and started to wince after an hour of walking. He had eaten his handful of nuts a while ago and by the position of the sun, it was approximately noon.
Ivan ignored the gnawing hunger in his gut and the high position of the sun behind the grey clouds. He focused mainly on moving forward; he focused on moving away from the wooden prison of the cabin. Lost in thought, Ivan took a sharp left and was jolted into reality by a hard tug on the backpack. He gasped when he was dragged backward a few steps and a look back at his travelling companion told him he had done something wrong.
"Dude, you were about walk off that cliff!" Alfred exclaimed. He was too angry to wince in pain as he contorted his body in order to pull the Russian from the edge of the cliff. "Seriously what were you thinking?"
Ivan blinked a few times and took his first good look at the snow covered terrain in front of him. "I was just moving forward. Its not like you think much about the consequences of your actions, Mr. America."
"You know what you irrelevant pile of shit?" Alfred snapped. He had released his grip on the backpack and retreated a few steps from the Russian. "I thought that I had forgiven you and even made peace with you-"
"Alfred stop. I'm so-" Ivan tried to calm the angry youth. He reached out a hand only for it to be slapped away.
"I'm not finished yet." Alfred exhaled in an attempt to regain composure. "I thought we had something but you sure know what to say to make me want to strangle you. I'm done with this..." Alfred exhaled sharply as tears came to his eyes. "I just want to go home!" His voice cracked as he shouted. In the distance, a bird cawed and flew from a tree. He turned on his heel and walked away at a brisk pace in the opposite direction.
Ivan's mouth was agape. Never had Alfred said something like that to him. Sure, they had their moments but nothing that cut each one of Ivan's heartstrings like that. He spent a few moments staring after Alfred as a warm sensation spilled over his chest. Once he couldn't stand the crushing loneliness and annoying sensation, he unbuttoned his coat only to find blood dripping from his chest. His heart condition. The Russian swallowed before tentatively taking off one of his gloves so he could inspect himself. He tried to press some gauze from the backpack to his chest but he still felt pain in his heart. He had hurt Alfred and ultimately himself.
"I'm so sorry Alfred." He found himself muttering that to himself as he put the backpack back on and buttoned up his coat. He mumbled that phrase as he backtracked and looked for the other man. He muttered that phrase when Alfred's footprints suddenly ceased.
A/N :: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. My life took a different turn but recently I've been inspired to continue this.