What's this? A second chapter in less than a week? Surely the world is ending or some shit? And it's my longest chapter to date! Thank you all for your patience and support. Whilst this didn't work out as I had originally planned, I hope that this was worth the wait.
"Tara? What-"
"Lyla, call Jax," Tara whispers urgently.
"Don't go in there Tara, wait for the guys-"
Tara hangs up and carefully reaches for her bag. Her heart is beating frantically against her chest, memories of a time when a man held a knife to Abel's throat and all she could do was cower on the floor.
But that woman died the moment she became a mother. Her fingers curl around the gun and tucks it into the waistband of her jeans and pulls her jacket over it. For all of her morals, she will easily gun down the man or woman who dares to hurt her child without losing a wink of sleep. She sucks in a small breath and forces herself into the kitchen.
Her heart aches at the sight of Thomas wrapped in the arms of the woman who Jax chose to marry. His cheeks are flushed, a smile on his face as Wendy cooes at him. She swallows tightly. This could have been Wendy's life if she had never come back to Charming, she realizes. Jax could have gotten back together with Wendy, made sure she stayed clean and eventually have another baby.
But she came back, and she has the life that Wendy wanted with Jackson Teller. Pity stirs in her stomach for the woman. She remembers hearing the news that Jax had gotten married and the drunken weekend that followed. No amount of alcohol in the world could fix her broken heart. But learning that he was going to have a child with someone, that was what broke her. It felt wrong, gut wrenching. She knew then even after all of those years of not seeing him, it should have been her who wore his ring, who had his babies.
She has been in Wendy's shoes before. She has known what life is like without Jax.
But this? This is too far.
Tara walks into the kitchen intending to snatch her son from Wendy's arms, but her eyes land on the gun sitting on the counter and she freezes. "Give me back my son," Tara demands softly. Thomas looks up at the sound of her voice and smiles, the few teeth that he has flashing proudly at her. She tries to muster up a soothing smile for him, but she's sure it comes out as a grimace as her keen eyes assess him head to toe. A weight lifts of her shoulders as she realises that he's unharmed.
But then her eyes flick to Wendy, and dread fills her once more. She has to stifle a gasp that threatens to erupt from her as she takes in her haggard appearance, the sickly hue of her skin to the track marks decorating her arms. She's like a skeleton, the once beautiful face marked with lines of exhaustion and desperation.
Wendy jumps out of her skin. She reaches for the gun with clumsy fingers and whirls around, the gun pointed firmly at Tara. "Why are you in my house?" Wendy cries in panic, her fingers tightening around the gun. "Get out!"
Terror runs through her, but she forces herself to remain calm. Putting a bullet into the woman was out of the question. She doesn't want to kill the woman who brought Abel into the world, plus she isn't that great of a shot. She couldn't possibly take the risk with Thomas in her arms.
Her eyes linger on the gun in Wendy's shaking hand. There's a good chance that Wendy doesn't even know how to use the gun. Fighting her would be a last resort. With her extra weight and the child in her belly to think about, she's not sure that she would be able to win, even with Wendy in her current state.
Swallowing tightly, she realises that her only option is to talk to the unhinged woman until she either saw sense or until Jax got here.
"Wendy, you don't live here anymore," Tara says. "This is Jax's house."
Wendy shakes her head and holds Thomas closer to her. "That he bought for me, for our family," she replies in a shaking voice. "The one that you stole from me!"
"Give me back by son," Tara says softly, not wanting to startle Thomas. The child seems calm enough with Wendy, but she doesn't want to scare him.
"I'm Abel's mother," Wendy whispers. "Leave us be."
"Wendy," Tara says gently, going against every instinct in her body telling her to snatch her baby away from this lunatic and run. "That's Thomas. Abel isn't here-"
"Isn't he beautiful?" Wendy interrupts, running the back of her hand that's holding gun through the child's soft hair. Thomas leans into her touch and giggles. Tears sting her eyes at the sight, panic almost overwhelming her at the gun so close to Thomas.
"He is mine."
Wendy turns her eyes to her and she can tell from the dream like state that she's in that she's high.
"Wendy, please listen to me. That's Thomas. He's nothing to you. Your Abel's mother. Look at him! He's just a baby. Abel's five now, he goes to school. He's learning to read, he can count up to ten. You've seen him!"
Wendy looks down at Thomas, though her eyes are far away. "Thomas. He's Thomas."
"Yes! You need to give him to me before you scare him, he needs me-"
Wendy looks at her incredulously. "Just like Abel needs me. I'm his mother. You just said so yourself."
Tara swallows, and though the words make her want to break into tears, she forces herself to say, "Yes, Abel does need you. I was wrong before. You should be in his life. Give me back Thomas, and we can talk about involving you more-"
"No. I'm his mother," Wendy says firmly. "I don't want to be just involved in his life, visiting him when you and Jax say it's okay. I want him to live with me. Jax can see him when I tell him it's okay. And you? You won't ever see him again."
"You can't even look after yourself!" Tara snaps. She takes a step closer but freezes when Wendy points the gun at her once more. "How can you possibly look after a little boy?"
"I'll get clean. I've done it before-"
"And you've gone straight back to them!" Tara spits.
"Because you put me under pressure, Jax forced me-"
"You made your own choices Wendy. Don't blame others because you're a weak ass bitch."
Wendy shakes her head. "I-"
"Do you honestly think that raising Abel alone will be easy? You won't be able to cope-"
"I don't care!" Wendy shouts. "I'll trade you. Abel for Thomas. My son for yours."
"They are both my sons. It takes a whole lot more than carrying a child inside of your body for nine months to be a mother Wendy. If I thought that you could be the mother that Abel deserves, I'd make Jax give you a chance. It would kill me, but I would do it for Abel." Tara shakes her head and wills for the other woman to understand. "But I know you. The second that things get tough you're back on the drugs and you will neglect him. He deserves so much more. I gave you a chance and you blew it. You chose a needle and Gemma over a chance to know your son. Tell me, was it worth it?"
"You don't know shit about what I've been through," Wendy cries.
"You're right, I don't," Tara replies, her eyes fixed on the gun as she inches her way closer to the unhinged woman. "But I do know that if any part of you wants what is best for Abel, you will stop putting him through this fucking charade. He has a family who loves him, he's safe and happy. Can you honestly say that he will be with you?"
"I can try-"
"You've just kidnapped a baby! How can you possibly think that you're good for him? This is your last chance Wendy. Give me back my son, and we can talk."
"Or what?" Wendy snarls, her lip curling in hatred.
"Or you're going to get a bullet to the brain if you don't hand Thomas over to my wife," replies a voice from behind her.
Tara almost lets out a sigh of relief as she whirls around and sees Jax standing in the doorway with a gun pointed firmly at Wendy. He doesn't even spare her a glance, all of his attention focused on his ex wife as he steps further into the room.
"Go outside Tara," Jax says sternly.
"If you think that I'm leaving this house without my son then you are mistaken," she replies coldly, turning back to Thomas once more. His smile has faded, his little brow furrowed as he looks between her and Jax in confusion. She takes a step closer to him which goes unnoticed by Wendy whose wild eyes are glued to Jax's.
"Jax," Wendy breathes, her eyes lighting up in a way that Tara's never seen before.
"I won't tell you again Wendy," Jax growls, completely oblivious to the way that Wendy is staring at him. For a brief second she pities the woman. Jax is a hard man to love, and whilst she has always been sure of his love for her, Wendy has not. He made no secret of the other women he fucked during their relationship, nor of the fact that she would always be second best in his eyes to the woman who left him.
He hates her.
There are not many people left breathing who he can claim to hate, but she is one of them. Everytime he sees her, all he can see is his premature son who had a twenty percent chance of survival because his junkie wife couldn't refrain from shooting up whilst she was pregnant. He had part of the blame, ignoring her very existence and not giving a flying fuck about her because he was so deep into shit with the club and his thoughts revolving around Tara's every move.
He had no time for her, but that wasn't an excuse to almost kill their baby.
"You won't be leaving this house alive unless you get it into your thick skull that Abel is having nothing to do with you. The only reason why you're still breathing is because you were once my wife and because my son is in your arms."
"I have rights-"
"No you don't. You signed over all your rights. Tara is Abel's mother. You're nothing but an egg donor. Look at you," Jax says in disgust. "You're a fucking mess." Wendy flinches, but he's passed caring about her feelings at this point. "Put down the gun, and hand over Thomas to Tara then you can leave. No harm will come to you."
Wendy stares at him and slowly puts the gun down onto the counter. He notices Tara make a move towards her but he shakes his head subtly. He can almost hear her growl in frustration, but she remains still. Wendy hold Thomas tighter to her and buries her face in his hair. Her body shakes as she rocks him back and forth, and though the gun is out of her hands, he feels no safer with Thomas still in her arms.
Still, he lowers his gun.
"If you loved Abel, you would let him see me," she tries once more, desperation coloring her every word.
"It's because I love him that I won't let you anywhere near him. I won't let my mistake in marrying you poison his life."
She flinches away from him. "H-how can you say that? I was your wife, Abel's mother-"
"I never loved you, Wendy," he tells her firmly. "I wanted to love you. I wanted to try to be normal, have a life with you. But you were nothing more than a distraction to temporarily fill the hole that Tara left."
"We can be a family. You, me and Abel." She tightens her hold on Thomas and runs her shaking fingers through his hair. Jax eyes the gun briefly, but he does not want to risk her going for it with Thomas so close.
"I have a family," Jax replies. "With Tara."
"But what about me?" Wendy cries in despair. "I was your wife! Abel is my son! You just chucked me away as though I was nothing the moment your precious Tara came crawling back." She let's out a heartbreaking sob and buries her face in Thomas's hair.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, self loathing burning through him. The moment Tara came back to town any hope that Wendy had of them reconciling was in vain. He didn't give a shit about Wendy the moment his eyes landed on Tara for the first time in a decade. He had been outside Floyd's taking a smoke as he waited for Opie to finish up when he first saw her. She had been crossing main street to her car, her arms clutched around two bags of groceries that were threatening to break at any moment. Her sunglasses were pushed onto the top of her head, her jeans were as tight as ever and her dark hair trailed behind her in the wind. He'd walked after her in a daze, hardly knowing what the fuck he was doing until he was standing behind her, watching her put her groceries in the trunk of her car with incredulous eyes as she finally turned to him. Her eyes widened in surprise and then a brilliant smile formed on her lips.
"Hi," she said, and in that moment he felt as though he was nineteen again where Tara Knowles was his entire fucking world, and any thoughts on fixing shit with Wendy and being an alright father flew from his mind.
It's one of his favorite memories, and yet it makes him realize what a complete dick he is to everyone else in his life where Tara is concerned.
"I was a bad husband to you, and a bad father to Abel when you carried him. I didn't give a shit back then. You were an inconvenience that I didn't need and I am sorry for it."
"Are you a bad husband to Tara?"
Jax swallows painfully. For the five years he's been with Tara, he has caused her so much pain that he can't understand why she puts up with his shit. From the women to the lies and the violence, he has hurt her time and time again. But through it all, his love for her has never been in doubt. He has always known that she deserves far better than what he can give her. But for a reason unknown to him, she chose him, and he is far too selfish to ever let her go.
"Yes, but I'm trying to be better for her, for our kids."
"Why can't I be enough for you?" she cries, her voice filled with so much anguish.
"Because you're not her," he replies simply, the words brutal but true. "I will never love another like I love her. It doesn't matter what happens. She's it for me."
Wendy lets out a sob and Jax finally realizes that this just isn't about Abel. She wanted it all, him and Abel. She holds out Thomas towards Tara, who all but snatches him and is out of the back door far quicker than a pregnant woman could ever hope to be. The door slams after her just as Wendy lets out a heart wrenching sob and sinks down to the floor, her sobs muffled as she presses her face against her knees.
Jax does not go to her, and though he aches to hold his son in his arms, he remains where he is, his cold, furious gaze fixed on Wendy.
"I love Abel, Jax. So much," Wendy says softly once she gains control of herself once more. "I didn't mean to hurt him."
"I know," Jax replies. The but you did remains unsaid.
"And Tara? Is she a good mother to him?"
"She's the best," he says truthfully. "She loves Abel like he is her own, and he loves her. As far as Tara's concerned, Abel is her son just as much as Thomas is."
"He won't have to know me. I promise that I will stay away." She pauses, her eyes focused on a picture of the boys. "It's for the best."
Jax swallows, and though he hates himself for his next words, he looks at Wendy coldly and forces them out. "Get your shit and get out of Charming. I'll send somebody to make sure you go, so don't even think about crawling back to Gemma. Get yourself clean Wendy. When Abel's old enough, he will know the truth about you and if he ever wants to find you, then I won't stop him. But if you ever try to contact him, if you ever step foot into this town again, I'll kill you."
Wendy's face crumples, but she nods. He forces himself to ignore her tears as he calls over Happy and Rat. "Take her home, let her pack and make sure she gets out of town."
Rat nods and places an insistent hand on Wendy's back as he forces her to walk away from them. Jax ignores her as she tries to catch his gaze for the last time.
"You sure Pres?" Happy mutters under his breath. "This bitch has a way of turning up when you least expect. I can take care of her-"
"No," Jax interrupts. He looks over at his wife and son wrapped up in one another against the nighttime chill. Tara hugs him to her and buries her face in his soft hair, greedily breathing in his unique scent. They're both wrapped in a massive hoodie that has to belong to Bobby. Chibs isn't far away, his eyes unusually soft as he looks at mother and son as Tig looks around guardedly for any new threats. His life would be so much easier if Wendy disappeared from their lives permanently, but he doesn't want to be the monster that Tara accused him of being all of those months ago.
He wants to be a good man for her.
"I can't kill her," Jax says quietly, turning to Happy once more. "It doesn't matter how much I hate her. Without her, Abel wouldn't exist." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash. "This should keep her going for a while."
He doesn't wait for Happy's reply as he heads for his family. He doesn't give a shit that all of his brothers are watching as he strides right up to Tara and wraps his arms around them and holds on for dear life.
"Say what you want about my son, but he's a good father."
Tara doesn't take her eyes off of Jax and Thomas as she replies, "Yes, he is."
They are both silent for a while watching Jax fuss over his son. Despite his eventful day, Thomas is wide awake and happily tugging at his father's ever growing beard. The rest of the Sons look on with amused grins as their Pres blows a raspberry on his son's belly. Thomas's shrieks of delight fill the house and she smiles at the sound.
"Look at him," Gemma laughs huskily in her ear. "I think Jax is having more fun than Thomas."
Tara's smile widens. "Are you kidding? Jax is the biggest kid out of the three of them." They share a smile, and for a moment it's like how it used to be, before there were secret letters, murdered fathers and the constant battle over her children and fake babies.
Tara's smile fades as she turns back to Jax and Thomas.
"Don't worry," Gemma taunts softly. "I won't tell Jax about your earlier accusations.
"If I find out that you had anything to do with this-"
"Thomas is my grandson. I wouldn't put him in danger, no matter what is going down between us." Gemma's voice is sincere, her eyes wide with innocence, and she wants nothing more to believe her, to have the loving grandmother back in her children's lives, but she knows better. She has been burned too many times by the woman who she has allowed herself to love, who has treated her as a daughter when it has suited her.
"I know that you would do whatever it takes to get back into Jax's good graces so you can see my boys. You wanted to prove that Neeta wasn't able to keep my son safe. Wendy was desperate to see Abel. She was vulnerable, impressionable. You twisted her up until she did what you wanted."
Shame and disgust crawl under her skin. "I can't blame you for it, I did exactly the same thing to her but I wanted to get my boys to safety, you used her to get to me, to manipulate your son."
"Where's your proof, Doc?" Gemma hisses in her ear.
Tara smiles bitterly and finally turns to her mother in law. "I don't have any, but I'll die before you come near my kids. I don't give a damn what Jax says."
Gemma smirks. "Choose your words with care, sweetheart. Wouldn't want to give anybody ideas, would we?"
"You would do it, wouldn't you? You would kill me to get to my children." It does not surprise her when Gemma makes no move to deny it, but it does sadden her. "I loved you, once. You were like a mother to me when I needed one the most. You were there for me when Jax was inside, you held my hand when I gave birth to your grandson." She looks at Gemma with hardened eyes. "What happened? What made you hate me so much?"
For a moment, Gemma's eyes soften. "I don't hate you. You're trying to take my son away from me. You're raising my grandbabies wrong. They need to be with family, not some bullshit nursery-"
"They are my children! It is not for you to decide how they are raised. I do not need parenting advice from the woman who encouraged her son to be a criminal - a killer. I love him, I really do, but I will not let my sons go down the same path that he has."
Gemma stares down at her coldly. "Then it seems that we're at an impasse." She makes a move to go but Tara grips her arm tightly and looks at her grimly.
"If I find out that you were the one to give Wendy that gun, I'll kill you myself, and your son will not be able to stop me."
Gemma steps away from her then, looking down at her daughter in law with new eyes as though seeing her truly for the first time. Gemma smiles a thin, biting smile. "There she is at last, the Old Lady that my son deserves. You keep playing happy families darlin'. I know my son. He's with you 'cause you conveniently managed to get yourself knocked up again when you knew he was going to leave you. Once you've popped that baby out, all bets are off and he will be back to the croweaters and porn pussy once again. Your days are numbered, sweetheart, so you best enjoy them whilst you can."
"No your days are numbered," Tara spits. "You're nobody, not even an Old Lady. You're the dried up pussy of a man who betrayed his brothers. You are nothing! This is a new generation, sweetheart. I'm Queen now."
Tara leaves without another word, eager to have her boys back in her arms once more, though she can feel Gemma's furious glare digging into her back. Jax shoots her an amused smile and wraps an arm around her shoulder. The slam of the front door echos through the room a minute later.
It's well into the early hours of the morning as Quinn brings a grumpy Abel back, though he had spared her a sleepy smile as she put him to bed. She can't take her eyes off of them, her two boys who have both been torn from her arms. She can hear Jax in the shower in the background, and though she aches to be by his side, she is afraid that the moment her boys are out of her sight someone else will take them away.
It's stupid and irrational, but after today she figures that she's allowed to be.
She forces her legs to move eventually as her stomach rumbles and she remembers that it's been awhile since she ate something. With one last lingering look, she heads for the kitchen and forces herself to eat, though the banana tastes like ash in her mouth. She frowns briefly at the screaming silence filling the house and spares a brief thought for her husband.
It takes her a moment to see the figure sitting on the couch with a towel wrapped around his waist, his head resting in his hands, slumped in defeat. Jax looks up when he hears her surprised gasp. Tara pauses, wanting nothing more than to go to him but uncertain how to act after their harsh words hours before and their confrontation with Wendy. The memory of his snarling face inches from her own as they screamed at one another is imbedded deep into her mind, the flash of fear in his eyes as they stared one another down, and the guilt that plagued him for how he treated Wendy.
She's not sure that Jax wants comfort from her right now.
But he stretches a hand out towards her, and any doubts fade from her mind.
She goes to him, running her fingers up his arm as he settles both of his palms on her bare thighs, slowly sliding them up her legs to her hips, dragging her (his) t-shirt up as they go. His fingers flare out over over her skin and he tugs her a little closer until she's standing between his parted knees. Her breath hitches in her throat as he lifts her shirt up so he can rest his head on her stomach.
"I'm sorry," he rasps, his lips pressing a brief kiss to her belly.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Tara replies softly, threading her fingers through his damp hair.
"Yes I do. Everything that happened today is on me. My crazy ex-wife took our son. She's messed up because of me-"
"Stop. Yes, you hurt her. But Wendy is a grown woman. She made her own choices."
He does not reply, but she can almost feel his guilt radiating from him. She knows that whatever she tells him, he will not listen now, not today with the memory of Wendy so fresh in his mind.
"I'm not a good man. I'm a criminal and a killer. You shouldn't love me. I don't deserve any of this-"
"Stop this Jax."
"It's true. This house, my sons, my daughter, you."
Tara fists a hand in his hair and tugs his head back sharply. "I'm not a good person. I'm a criminal and a killer too. Stop making me out to be a saint because we both know that I'm far from one. I've stolen, I've sold drugs, I've hid bodies, I've killed people! Yes you're a criminal, a killer. But it's just a part of you, it's not all of you! And that's what I love. All of you. Maybe you don't deserve this life, hell maybe I don't either. But we can have a good life Jax, together."
Tara leans over him and presses a soft kiss to his lips. "Let it go baby. Everything that we've done, it doesn't matter anymore. Our family is safe, the club is clean and Wendy is gone. We have so many reasons to be happy Jax. You make me happy." She cups his face in her hands and runs her thumbs across the fine lines under his eyes. "You told me to let the past go. And I am, so maybe you should too."
Jax gives her a small smile and claims her lips with a bruising kiss. He swallows her cry of surprise and pushes himself closer. Tara pulls away and slides her panties down her legs.
"What are you-"
"Shh. I need this, I need you," Tara whispers, her lips brushing his. It's not about pleasure, but the need to be close to him consumes her entire being.
Jax tilts his head to the side and looks at her long and hard. Her mouth goes dry as he unwraps his towel and reaches out a hand to her. "Come here," he commands gently. Taking his hand, she crawls into his lap, her knees sinking into the plush couch as his strong hold on her tightens as she leans back. "Careful," Jax murmurs.
"I love you," she says, eager to remind him after this crazy fucking day. There are few things that she is sure of anymore, but her love for him is something she is certain about.
"I love you," he echoes, his hands climbing up her thighs, palms sweeping over her stomach before they reach the sides of her ribs. The t-shirt catches on his arms and rises with him making her shiver from the cold air on her bare skin. It bunches under her breasts and he mouths kisses around her belly, his tongue flicking at her skin. His mouth is so soft, like a whisper on her skin. Tara feels her eyes flutter at the sensation, nails digging into his shoulder as she arches into him. She can feel him smiling against her skin, can taste the flare of pride coming off of him.
Her hips rock against his hardening dick, and she feels a pool of wetness between her thighs at the sensation of her clitoris dragging against the soft, steely skin. He watches her, his eyes heavy with his lust for her. He pushes her shirt up and over her head. A shiver rolls through her from the cold air hitting her naked skin, and she arches her back and thrusts her hips down. "Yes," she breathes as his mouth brushes over her nipple, his beard grazing the sensitive skin causing the most delicious sensation.
She watches him, his head thrown back, neck taut, his body tight with tension and his eyes half closed. A small desperate whine leaves her mouth. She thrusts down with more force and leans over him, cupping his face and forcing her mouth on his. Jax groans against her lips but she swallows the sound. He wraps his arms around her waist and pushes himself up closer until his stomach presses against her ever expanding one.
It feels so good, but when it comes to his touch, she always needs more.
She forces her lips away and whispers into his ear, "I need you inside of me."
His hands slide down to her ass, his fingers gripping tightly. She forces herself to her knees as Jax grips his erection, and she slowly sinks down onto his length. Her breath leaves her as she stretches around him, her fingers curl into his shoulder as she moves with a gentle slow roll of her hips. She's so sensitive, each movement has her shaking in pleasure.
Jax thrusts up and their combined cries echo throughout the silent house. Need burns through her, urging her to move quicker. She fists her hand in Jax's wet hair and bares her hips down, and it's her undoing. She stiffens and lets out a long, low cry before her hips pick up speed, chasing that delicious feeling.
Her movements become sloppy and without rhythm until Jax tightens his hold on her ass and stops her. She lets out a low whine that turns into a guttural moan as Jax takes control and snaps his hips up with a speed that he should be proud of. Pleasure flows through her making everyone of her nerves tingle and every inch of her coiling. Her cries grow louder and louder until she's coming with a breathless cry.
Tara forces her eyes open and watches as he comes seconds after, his hands forcing her down onto his cock even more, pushing himself as deep as he can go, his entire body shaking from his orgasm before she collapses on top of him.
It's several minutes until she can move once more. If not for her aching back, she would happily fall asleep there for the rest of the night. Jax runs his hands up her thighs and presses a kiss to her shoulder.
"I need for this day to be over," he rumbles beneath her.
"It is over baby," Tara replies simply before brushing her lips against his. "It's over."