Erm. Sorry? My flimsy excuse this time is that I have been working on another SOA story that is even more gut wrenching than this one is.

Can't believe we're on chapter 15. Considering that this was supposed to be a one shot, I don't half waffle on.

Enjoy. Hopefully I will update soon (ha.)

In the days that follow, Tara is hesitant to let the boys out of her sight. The first three days after Wendy's departure, she keeps them at home and demands that one of Jax's brother's is present at all times in his absence, though she suspects that Jax hates to leave them alone too for he never leaves for longer than a couple of hours.

Despite Jax's reassurances that Wendy's truly gone and that they're safe, Tara refuses to take any chances. They have other enemies, and just because Wendy had been dealt with (for now, the fear that she would come back for Abel would never truly go away), it didn't mean that someone else wasn't going to come looking for revenge.

Going after Jackson Teller's family seems to be a popular form of revenge in this fucked up world that they live in. She doesn't blame Jax. Not this time. She can hardly blame him for his poor choice in women when her poor choice in men threatened his club and resulted in a dead body in her childhood bedroom.

But the what ifs keep playing in her mind. What if next time it is someone who Jax gets on the wrong side of? What if next time they aren't fast enough? What if next time they can't save them?

And it's not just the boys that she worries about anymore. With each passing day, the child in her belly grows stronger and soon she's going to have another child to protect. Charming is a dangerous place, and the father of her children is a dangerous man despite the changes that he has put into effect since he took the gavel. It terrifies her, but it also soothes some of her worries knowing that she is married to a man who will do absolutely anything to protect those that he loves, no matter the consequences.

It's not until the fourth day she feels herself relax when Happy returns. Thomas is asleep in her arms as she sits at the table watching a bare chested Jax cook dinner despite her arguments that she was perfectly capable of doing it herself. He has yet to improve his cooking skills, though watching him makes her hungry for something else. Her libido is crazy right now, not that either one of them are complaining.

If he's embarrassed to be caught by Happy being so domestic, he hides it well. Jax acknowledges his brother with a firm nod.

"The junkie's gone," Happy growls, not one for pleasantries, though his gruff voice softens just a fraction due to her presence. "Don't worry Doc, I made sure that she won't even think about stepping foot into Charming again. Your boys are safe."

A shiver sweeps down her spine at his words, and though a part of her wants to know what Happy had done to sound so confident, she knows that she is better off not knowing about his methods of persuasion. Still, she manages to muster a grateful smile in his direction and thanks him meaning every word. The man may scare the living daylights out of her at times, but is was thankful that he is on their side. She politely asks him if he would like to stay for dinner, but the man declines with a wicked smile. "It's Friday," he says simply.

Tara holds back a grimace and pushes away the images of the jizz fest that the club house will become in a couple of hours after such a stressful week. She catches Jax's eye but his face remains carefully neutral.

Happy leaves with a nod at Jax and an awkward smile for her. Her heart warms a little at the sight, though it's short lived as she tries to think of something to say. The silence grows awkward as Jax tends to dinner, and even the sight of him half dressed does nothing to distract her from her thoughts.

Since he's returned home, Jax hasn't attended the usual nighttime shenanigans at the clubhouse. It's not something she's noticed until now, and she feels a fool for it. Surely there have been parties over the past few months, and yet he's been home every night ready to put the boys to sleep.

Part of her is terrified of being left alone. She knows how unlikely it is that something's going to happen, but with Happy's reassurance that Wendy is gone and unlikely to come back, she feels more at ease for the first time since Thomas disappeared.

"You can go, if you want," Tara says eventually. "I'm sure that the guys would appreciate having you there after everything they've done for us. I don't mind."

She does mind.

Of course she fucking minds.

The thought of him getting drunk and having a good time with dozens of women in various states of undress itching for the chance to get their claws into him while she's stuck at home wondering what the fuck he's up to makes her skin crawl. But she trusts him. Mostly. She's fucking trying so hard not to be a raging bitch who's too jealous and insecure to allow her man out of her sight for one night.

She has every right to be insecure. She knows that, but she doesn't want to be. Memories of the parties she had attended as a teenager come to mind pretty quickly of the half dressed crow eaters parading around, trying to snag a biker even if it's just for a night. The memories of Ima and Colette are hard to forget too.

Deep down she knows that Jax isn't going to jump into bed with some skank unless he really wants to hurt her.

He's happy. The happiest that she's seen him in a very long time.

So for him, she'll suck it up and just deal.

"I don't want to," he replies. Tara raises an incredulous eyebrow and snorts in disbelief.

"I can handle being alone for a few hours Jax. Nothing's going to happen."

Jax turns towards her then and leans against the counter with folded arms. Despite herself, her eyes can't help but linger on his arms and how his tattooes flex. "That's not it. I just don't want to go."

"Why the sudden change of heart? You used to-"

"Exactly. I used to love drinking and smoking until I passed out on the clubhouse floor. That's not my life anymore Tara. I'd rather be at home with my family. I really don't need to see the shit that's going to go down tonight, especially after this week."

Tara's nose wrinkles in disgust, but she isn't one to give up easily. "But won't the guys be disappointed? They need you."

Jax makes an impatient sound and suddenly he's coming towards her and crouching down in front of her. He strokes Thomas's hair and says softly, "You need me more. I'm done with putting the club first. You and the kids are my priority. The guys get it, because you're their family too. I'm sure that if Chibs, Bobby and hell, maybe even Tig, could do it all over again, they would put their families first too."

Her heart is pounding in her chest as she stares into his eyes looking for any sign of dishonesty, but her husband's eyes are remarkably clear as he stares right back. Tears prick at her eyes. They're words that she has wanted to hear come out of Jax's mouth since he got out of prison. Tara shakes her head. "I don't want you to have to give up spending time with your brothers because of me."

Jax cups the back of her neck and pulls her in for a soft kiss. All of the tension from the past few days flow out of her as she meets his lips, though he pulls away far too soon and says, "I'm right where I want to be babe."

A smile tugs at her lips. "You're getting soppy on me, Teller."

Jax smirks in reply, but he offers no denial. Thomas fidgets in his sleep causing them both to look down at him, his little arms flailing as he tries to get comfortable in her arms. Jax reaches out and strokes the boy's head, his face becoming serious once more as he says, "Do you want to leave?"

"What?"

Jax's meets her eyes. "Do you want to leave Charming?"

Tara tenses, aware how much of a sore subject this is between them and one that had been avoided at all costs since their reunion. She looks away and busies herself with shifting Thomas in her arms. The baby remains blissfully asleep despite how much she wishes that he will bloody wake up and scream just so she can avoid this conversation. "Don't be ridiculous Jax. We're moving house in a couple of weeks-"

"Answer me. I know how much of this life makes you uncomfortable. Say the word and we can be out of this house by the end of the week and setting up on the other side of the country."

Tara sighs quietly. It's not something that she wants to talk about, especially with Thomas's disappearance still so fresh in their minds. But Jax's eyes are firm and unrelenting, and she knows that he isn't going to let this conversation drop.

He doesn't come home with bruises and dead mens blood on his clothes anymore. He's home every night and is there for dinner and to put the boys to bed. He's there every morning when she wakes up pressed up against his side. She knows that he's trying so hard to make their life here work. It is not an easy thing to find a balance for his club and his family. Perhaps if she had a little more faith in him from the start, the fucked up year that they've had wouldn't have happened. But all she had seen was the violence and her stint in prison scared the living daylights out of her. All that had mattered was saving her boys from the violent lifestyle that they had been born into.

But now it's her turn to compromise.

She really hopes that her sons do not join SAMCRO, and if she has a daughter, Tara can only hope that she has more self control than her mother does when it comes to bikers. But the brotherhood that surrounds these hard men is a very rare thing, and after all of these years, she's only just beginning to see the allure of why men want to join such a group. Since the moment her mother died, she hasn't had that unbreakable bond with anyone, not even with Jax. Even at sixteen, she had known that she couldn't stay in Charming and become Jackson Teller's Old Lady. She had needed more and had broken the trust between them.

But now that she has children of her own, she's learning how that bond works all over again. Despite her choices in the past, she doesn't want to be the one who takes Jax away from his brothers. She knows how guilty he would feel leaving them, and how useless he would feel in a world where he isn't part of a brotherhood.

Tara looks at his brothers now and sees members of her family, not just her husband's friends. They may not be the most respectable citizens that Charming has to offer, but they are a group of men that look out for their own. She will never forget everything they have done to protect her and her boys, and she has no doubt that they will be at her side in a heartbeat if she truly needed them.

"I did. A part of me still does. But this is our home Jax. Our family is here. Everything that we have now was built here. You and me, the kids, the guys. You said the club is going legit right? I've seen how hard you're trying to make things work with the club and with me. I'm choosing to trust you Jax," Tara replies softly. She smiles, almost sadly because of everything that she wishes that they could be but knows that they never will. "Charming is a part of you. But it's also a part of me. So no, I don't want to leave Charming."

For a moment, Jax doesn't reply as he looks at her in shock. It wasn't the answer that he was expecting, that much is clear. He looks remarkably young in that moment, like a little boy who has just received the birthday present of his dreams. "I will make the club something that the boys will be proud of. The boys will never end up in prison cell. They will never know how it feels to take a man's life just for greed. They will never end up like me. I promise."

Tara smiles softly and pushes the hair back from his eyes. "I don't know Teller. You're not the worst example I can think of."

It's early, way too early for Abel to be pottering around the house alone. It's barely light outside as Tara groans and heaves herself out of bed. She's thankful that Jax is still asleep because it's not a pretty sight. Jesus, when did she get so big? Her back aches and she wants nothing more than to crawl back under the sheets and sleep the day away, but the sounds of a chair being dragged across the kitchen floor is ringing in her ears. She forces herself to move faster and she is just in time to see her five year old son standing on a chair and peering into the freezer, balancing on the tips of his toes as he's reaching for her favourite ice cream.

And suddenly she's wide awake.

"Abel," Tara snaps. "Get down right now!"

Abel jumps and turns to her guiltily. Sensing her anger, he quickly jumps down off the chair, almost giving her a heart attack in the process, and smiles at her sweetly. "Hi Mommy."

The boy's dangerous. He's too clever for his own good. He knows exactly how to handle her and he has her wrapped around his little finger. He can disarm her with just a smile.

But not this time.

She knows his game. He's just like his father, trying to sweet talk his way out of trouble. Tara narrows her eyes at him. She's immune to the Teller charm these days, and she's furious with him. For waking her up and for trying to steal her cookie dough ice cream that has been her partner during her pregnancy. "What were you doing?"

"Getting ice cream."

Tara shakes her head firmly. "No. It's not even six Abel. We don't have ice cream for breakfast."

Abel frowns. "You do. I saw you."

"That is different!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm an adult!" Tara says, slightly affronted that her eating habits are being questioned by a five year old. "I can eat whatever I want for breakfast, and when you're grown up, you can eat ice cream whenever you want. But until then, you eat what you are given."

He looks up at her then with wide eyes that have a suspicious shine to them. His bottom lip sticks out and quivers slightly. Jesus, he looks just like Jax when he wants something.

Jax walks in on them twenty minutes later sitting on the couch and halfway through the tub. He raises an eyebrow at Abel who has ice cream around his mouth and turns questioning eyes at her.

Tara offers out her spoon. "Ice cream?"

Jax smirks and sits down next to Abel. He takes the spoon and wraps his lips around it, a groan coming from him as the coldness his his throat. Tara's thighs clamp together uselessly at the sudden flare of heat in her groin. Jax is shooting her a look and damn she wants him. Right now. Her mind is coming up with filthy ways they can spend their morning in bed with ice cream when her son's voice reminds her that they're not alone.

"Mommy?"

"Yes Abel?" she replies tightly.

"Why's your belly so big?"

Oh.

Thoughts of Jax's tongue licking ice cream off of her tits fade.

Tara looks at Jax. He nods gently, his gaze fixed firmly on their son. They had held off on telling Abel about the baby for a while, both too afraid to tempt fate after her earlier scare. Logically she knows that the baby is healthy. She's almost certain that everything will be fine and in a few months she's going to have their child cradled in her arms. But there's still a small part of her that is terrified that things are going to end horribly for her family.

But with only a few more months to go, her expanding belly isn't something that she can hide anymore, even from her inquisitive son.

"I'm having a baby," Tara says gently, slightly worried about the boy's reaction. He'd been way too young when she had been pregnant with Thomas to know what was going on. But at five years old, he was certainly able to make up his own mind about how he felt with having another sibling.

"Oh," Abel says, his eyes fixed on Tara's belly. His eyes flick up to hers. "Am I going to have another brother?"

"We don't know yet, buddy," Jax says. "But I'm pretty sure that you're going to have a little sister."

"Oh." Abel's eyes flicks down to her belly again, his little brow furrowed in thought. "How did she get into your belly mommy?"

Tara chokes on her ice cream and looks at her son with wide eyes. "Well, erm- Jax?"

Jax's smirk widened. "You're on your own for this one babe."

Furiously, Tara hisses at him, "You're the one who did this to me-"

"Pretty sure that we were both involved Tara."

"You didn't use any protection," she snaps, glaring at him.

Unable to control his mirth, an incredulous laugh erupts from him. "Neither did you! You were on the pill last time I checked!"

"Yes well, I was. It's not my fault that your, erm, swimmers are incredibly determined - that's not a compliment Jax," she says as he almost beams at her with pride.

"Felt like one."

"It wasn't," Tara snaps. "Besides, your part was over within a few minutes-"

"It was longer than a few minutes babe-"

"Whereas my part takes far longer and I have to actually give birth! You owe me."

Jax deflates like a popped balloon, his grin turning into a grimace as he meets his son's curious gaze. "Okay." He clears his throat and straightens his back in determination. "Abel, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they like to-"

"Jax! He's five years old! You can't tell him that-"

"But you said-"

"No!" She rolls her eyes and plants a smile on her face as she turns back to Abel. "Listen baby. When you're older, your father will explain properly." Jax snorts but she ignores him. "Because we love each other so much, we wanted to have another baby. But the baby is in my belly because she's not big and strong enough to come out yet, so you have to wait a little while until she grows. But in a few months, you're going to have a little brother or sister."

There's a long silence. Tara shoots Jax a concerned look but his gaze is fixed firmly on Abel.

"Okay," Abel replies eventually.

"Okay?" Tara replies dubiously.

Abel nods. "Okay Mommy. But I'm still your baby right?"

Tara smiles widely, relieved at his reaction. "You'll always be my baby Abel." It's true. When he's forty and has babies of his own, he's always going to be her baby.

Abel smiles and looks up at Jax who lays a hand on his head. "Why don't you go and see if Thomas is awake buddy?"

Jax snorts and mutters, "And you say I'm a mommy's boy." Tara punches him in the arm but all Jax does is laugh loudly and throws his arm around her and pulls her against his side.

The smile won't leave his face. They're sitting in a diner close to the hospital. She sees the staff and the patrons send him cautious looks and rolls her eyes. It's something that she has grown accustomed to over the last few years, especially since Jax took the gavel. Her husband is a man to be feared, but right now he looks like he's about to explode with happiness.

"Seriously babe," Tara sighs around the straw of her milkshake. "If you keep smiling like that you're going to terrify the entire town. Charming's not used to seeing you smile these days, and you look a touch insane."

Jax snorts, his eyes glittering with pride. "Fuck them."

Tara's mouth tugs into a reluctant smile. Since the moment the words, "Congratulations, you're having a daughter," had left her doctor's mouth, he'd had the dopiest grin on his face.

"You're such a dork," Tara teases fondly, though she is hardly much better.

He catches her hand across the table and presses a kiss to it. Now it's her grinning like a loon. Sitting in this diner, she feels sixteen once again where the most sought after boy in school was devoted to her and wasn't afraid to let anyone know his feelings. The only thing missing was Donna and Opie sitting next to them and teasing them for being lovesick fools.

"Did you ever think that we would end up here?" he asks, bringing their joined hands onto the table.

Tara takes a sip of her milkshake and carefully considers her answer. "Honestly? No. Something always seemed to get in our way. Whether it was me wanting to leave, you wanting to stay, your mother, the club, people trying to kill us. But right now? I've never been happier Jax."

His eyes glitter with happiness. "Well, I never had a doubt. From the moment we met-"

Tara snorts. "You're so full of shit."

"It's true!" he insists, laughter clouding every word.

"I bet you can't even remember the moment that we met."

"Mitchell Green pushed you over in the sand pit at the park so I hit him in the face with my bucket because he made you cry. I helped you up and asked you if you wanted to help me build my sandcastle," he says, looking incredibly proud of himself.

Tara smiles softly. "You remember that?"

"Of course. I knew then that you were special Tara Knowles. I may have been three years old, but I knew."

Speechless, Tara leans over as far as she can and presses a soft kiss to his lips.

"I can't believe we're having a girl," he murmurs. Tara's lips twitch.

"Karmas a bitch," Tara sighs as she finishes her milkshake, but she's already reaching for his untouched one.

"What makes you say that?"

"You spent your whole twenties sleeping with half of the female population," Tara replies. "Now you're going to be spending your forties making sure the male population stays away from your daughter."

The smile is quickly wiped off of his face. "Shit."

"Seriously babe. You're worried about nothing. Let's just hope that she takes after me. I mean look at me. I'm a well respected, successful doctor with three kids."

Jax glares at her. "You also have a mean right hook, killed a few guys, married a criminal and have a thing for bikers."

Tara smiles wickedly. "Only one biker."