I hate this chapter. It's been rewritten four times and I still can't get it how I want it so this is the result. I hope it's not too disappointing.

I think that there's only two chapters left, possibly three. I've been super busy as I'm excited and completely terrified to tell you all that I'm pregnant, so please bear with me with updates over the next couple of months.

Thank you for all of your continued support despite the lack of updates.

The front door is open, which is a stupid move for someone with as many enemies that Gemma Teller Morrow has. There's music playing quietly, some latin shit that Nero must have gotten her into. Judging by the delicious smell, Gemma's in the kitchen cooking. For a moment he's eight years old again, coming home late after riding his bike with Opie but just in time for dinner. Clenching his fists tightly, Jax silently makes his way further into the house and takes a long moment to watch his mother cooking.

She is in her element, a small smile dancing on her lips as she bends down to take a lasagne out of the oven. She looks happy, peaceful, despite the fact that she hasn't seen her grandsons in months. This distance has been good for them all, even her although she would die before she would ever admit it. She's happy in a way that Jax hasn't seen her in many years. Perhaps it's only because she thinks that her competition will soon be out of the way and she will finally get her family back.

Damn you, he thinks bitterly. Why couldn't she just leave them alone?

"You're having a granddaughter," he says softly before he can stop himself.

"Jesus Jax!" Gemma gasps, her hand fluttering at her chest as she spins around to face him. Jax steps into the kitchen, his eyes fixed firmly on his mother. He'd expected to feel nothing but hatred for her, but as he looks at the hopeful smile on Gemma's face, he feels so hopeless.

His mom is trying to kill his wife.

His daughter.

When did everything get so fucked up?

Smirking, Gemma says, "You shouldn't sneak up on an old woman with a bad heart." It's been months since she has seen him and her eyes take him in greedily.

Jax doesn't reply, he just stares her down coldly until Gemma looks away as she realises just how fucking angry he is. She's uncharacteristically nervous, her hands pulling at the hem of her top, and whatever doubts he had that this wasn't true disappear.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Gemma asks, a forced smile plastered on her lips. She walks towards him and stops just shy of four feet from him. She has always been a brave woman, his dear mother. "Nero's coming but there's enough for you too-"

"Didn't you hear me Mom?" Jax says, his voice tight with wild anger. He ignores Gemma's unsubtle warning of Nero and forces himself not to wrap his hands around her neck and end this wretched problem once and for all. Because he wants to, he really fucking wants to. That part of him that grew up believing in an eye for an eye and to protect what is his wants to cut this vile woman open and bathe in her blood-

"What's happened Jackson?" Gemma demands bluntly, her voice strong and sure. She looks every bit the Queen of Bikers as she draws herself up to her full height and stares him square in the eye, all traces of her nerves wiped away.

But Jax knows better now. He knows her, and he knows just how far she will go to get what she wants. It's taken him far too long to realise just how twisted his mom is, and he's done listening to her poison.

It takes him a long moment to answer. "I'm going to have a daughter," he repeats coldly.

For a moment a real smile lights up Gemma's face and it twists something deep in the pit of his stomach to realise that she is genuinely happy. A little girl who she can teach all of her poison to, to make into the perfect little SAMCRO Princess.

If she survived her mother's murder first.

Taking a step towards him, Gemma reaches for him as she says, "Oh Jax, you must be thrilled! A girl!"

Shaking his head in disbelief, Jax pulls away from her just as her hand brushes his, his hand reaching for his gun and drawing it on her before he even realises that he has done it.

Eyes widening is fear, Gemma staggers back a few steps. "Jax," she breathes. "I-I don't understand."

The gun in his hand is steady.

If you do this, there is no coming back from it.

Tara was right. She deserves this and much more. And it will destroy him in a way that will break him forever, but he has to do this. She's his mother, his responsibility. All of the months of trying to be a better man for his family, trying to turn the club legit, it has all been for nothing.

But it's their way.

"No more lies," Jax says quietly, his voice so thick with ice that he can barely recognise it himself. "I know what you asked Juice to do."

The color drains from Gemma's face as she processes his words. It takes her a moment to consider her options, and just as he's sure that she's going to try to deny it all, his mother surprises him. "I did it for you," she says simply, looking him square in the eye.

"Bullshit!" Jax explodes, his voice making her flinch back. He sees a flash of fear in Gemma's eyes as he steps closer to her. Ignoring the slight tremble in his hand, Jax continues, "You did this for nobody but yourself. You wanted back in with me, with your grandbabies. Do you really think I would have let you see my kids even if you'd succeeded? You're poison-"

"I'm your mother!" Gemma shouts, her temper escaping her despite the gun pointed at her. "You need me! My grandbabies need me!"

"They need their mother," Jax snaps. It's the same argument with her, has been for years and he's done with this shit. "I need Tara, not you. Why do you have to constantly make me choose?"

"We're family, Jackson," Gemma says softly, stepping closer until the gun was pressed firmly against her chest. Is she really so confident that he wouldn't pull the trigger? "I gave birth to you," she reminds him. "I raised you. I have been here for you every single day of your life." Gemma shakes her head, her eyes hardening. "Tara hasn't."

"The fuck is your problem? I'm tired of this shit. I'm not having this argument with you again." Jax smiles grimly. "Tara's my family. She was yours once too."

"That girl has stolen my family away from me-"

"And what of my daughter? You didn't give a shit if she died too?" Jax's hand trembles slightly, but his eyes stay locked onto his mother. "Say what you want about Tara, but that kid is your grandchild every bit as much as Abel and Thomas."

At that Gemma finally looks away from him, and if he hadn't known any better, something like shame crept over her. He has always known how his mother has felt about Tara, but putting her risking her own grandchild wasn't something Jax thought even Gemma was capable of. "The baby would have been fine," she insisted quietly.

Tears spring into his eyes as he shakes his head in disbelief. "You don't know that," Jax says softly. "As long as you got your boys back you didn't give a shit. As long as Tara was in the ground you didn't give a shit who else you took out, including my kid." Jax clenches his jax, but even he can't manage to control his voice as he whispers, "You were going to kill my daughter, mom. You were going to take half of my family away from me, and it would have broken me.. How could you do that to me?"

"She took you away from me," Gemma whispers, tears falling down her cheeks as she quietly begins to cry.

Jax ignores her tears. "If Tara hadn't come back, you would have gotten rid of Wendy eventually so you could have Abel to yourself. How would you even be able to look my boys in the eyes and lie to them about what you did to their mother?"

"I've only ever wanted you to be happy," Gemma cries desperately. She wipes her tears away with a trembling hand. "Tara's hurt you so many times. I was only trying to protect you Jax, but you just can't see what she's done-"

"I am happy!" Jax snaps angrily, desperate for her to understand just for one moment. "How can you not see that? I love her. It wouldn't have just gone away if she died." Jax ignores her tears and almost begs her to understand. "She's a part of me, and you would have killed me too."

"Jackson," Gemma breathes.

"What's fucked up is that she actually pleaded with me to spare you," Jax breathes, his voice shaking with rage. Despite everything that has happened and everything she has done, Tara is still so innocent in some ways. It makes him love her more, that light that shines through his darkness. "And that what makes her a far better mother than you ever were to me. She wouldn't ever dream of hurting her sons."

Gemma flinches, but she makes no move to argue. There's nothing else to be said.

"So what now?" Gemma breathes even though she already knows the answer.

His hands are shaking as he forces his finger onto the trigger. He looks into Gemma's eyes and sees nothing but acceptance amongst her tears.

"You deserve this."

He has to do this. For revenge, for his family's safety.

For Abel and Thomas.

For his daughter.

For Tara.

I'm trying to save you. Please, baby.

He can't do it.

He wants to. So fucking much. She's hurt his family. She planned to murder his wife, his everything. And his unborn daughter-

She deserves a bullet between the eyes and so much more.

But she's his Mom. As much as he hates her, there's a tiny part of him that can't stand the thought of being the one to kill her. To look into his kids eyes and lie about what happened to Grandma.

You don't have to be this person anymore.

She's always known him better than he knows himself, his girl.

"Leave," he growls.

"W-What?" she gasps between breaths.

"Go. Get out of Charming. Get out of California. I never want to see you again."

"You have to do it," Gemma says despite her tears. "It's our way." It's so fucked up. His mother is actually begging him to kill her all in the name of some twisted legacy.

This wasn't what the club was supposed to be.

He closes his eyes and the faces of his kids swim before his eyes. This cannot be their legacy. Murder, money and blood. Especially his family's blood - because despite it all, his hatred and his burning need to protect his family, this twisted woman is still his mother.

"It's not our way. Not anymore. Get out of Charming, and if I ever see you again, I will kill you."

And the that's what makes his mother break.

"I can't leave," Gemma whispers thickly, a sob escaping her throat. "Charming's my home Jax. You're my home."

Gemma reaches for him but Jax steps away from her, shrugging her off. "Not anymore. You ruined this. You almost ruined me. I deserved better than you. Knowing that you're out there, all alone knowing that not one person in this world cares about you is a punishment worse than death," Jax hisses. "You know that she's a part of me. How could you even consider doing that to your own son?"

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

Jax blinks back his tears and lowers his gun. "Goodbye mom." After one last look, Jax turns on his heel and walks out of the house, all the while ignoring his mothers sobs and the questions that Nero hurl at him as he finally arrives.

Jax gets onto his bike, his hands surprisingly steady as he puts his helmet on.

It's over.

It's fucking over.

She sits in the middle of the kitchen floor with tears long since dried on her cheeks. It's past 2am and she has not got any other thought in her mind other than the look on Jax's face as he walked out of the door. The baby is moving restlessly in her womb and no matter how many times she runs a soothing hand against her belly she just won't settle. She's getting big, her little girl, too big to be protected from the cruel world outside her womb for much longer.

She does not get up as the front door opens quietly. She does not think that she can bear to look into his eyes and knowing that his love for her has driven him to kill his mother.

He sits in front of her, their knees brushing each others with every breath.

"I didn't do it," he says quietly.

Tara's breath catches in her throat as she looks up at him. The tears in his eyes break her heart as she meets his tormented gaze. A wave of relief washes over her. "I should have done it. If it had been anyone else, I would have been digging their grave right now. But she's my mom." His voice is desperate, as if begging her to understand why he could not kill his own mother even for her. Jax runs a trembling hand through his hair. "She's leaving. She won't ever step foot in Charming again. She won't ever come near my family again."

Despite herself she feels a small amount of pity for Gemma. She had once loved the woman like a mother, and despite their disagreements over the years, she has always loved her grandsons. She loves her son more than anything in this world, and her love for him was her downfall. It did not matter that Tara loved him too, because to Gemma she would always be the girl who tried to get him to leave Charming and in Gemma's eyes that was why she had to die.

Her feelings for Gemma are fucked up. She can only imagine how Jax feels towards his mother.

Tara does not reply. She takes his hand in hers and squeezes his hand with what little strength she has left. Jax clutches onto her hand desperately and whispers, "I'm sorry."

Tara places a trembling hand on Jax's cheek and forces him to meet her gaze. "You have nothing to apologise for," she says softly. Jax doesn't reply, and she knows that this is something that he will carry with him for a long time no matter what she says to him. Letting out a shaky breath, Tara presses his hand to her belly. "We're safe, the boys are safe. That's all that matters." Tara pauses, and ignoring her tears she whispers, "I'm sorry that you've lost your mom, Jax."

Jax tenses, and for a terrible moment Tara wishes that she could take the words back because they're clearly the wrong thing to say, but Jax's face crumples and all Tara can do is pull him towards her and run her fingers through his hair in that way he likes as he silently cries against her neck.

Her heart breaks for him, and for a final time, Tara silently curses Gemma Teller Morrow to hell.