Author's Note: I've been ill for most of the past week, so Chapter 3 is not ready as quickly as any of us would like. To tide you over until my &%$# health cooperates, here's a little snippet. We can call this chapter two and a half. ;-)

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A week before their "practice" pon farr during shore leave, Kirk was seated behind the desk in his quarters, working on reports, when he heard the door open and looked up to see Spock entering his cabin through their shared bathroom.

This was the first time the two of them had been alone together since the conversation in Spock's quarters, a week before. Of course they worked closely together every day, and in their interactions on the bridge, in the mess hall, and on landing parties, Spock had been the usual consummate first officer, not deviating in the slightest from the way he'd behaved for the past several years. Kirk wondered if that would change, now that they were alone.

Spock came to stand next to Kirk's desk, hands behind his back as usual. "Jim, do you have a moment for a conversation of a personal nature?"

Kirk put down his padd, rubbed the back of his neck, and smiled. "I could use a break, actually. What's up?"

Spock handed Kirk an object that Kirk had never expected to see in his Vulcan first officer's hands: a dildo. It was made of rubber, slightly longer than the average penis but so thick that it actually looked squat, and Kirk chuckled slightly as he examined it. He looked up at Spock and said, only half-jokingly, "Isn't this a little ambitious?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "The ambition is your own, since it was you who proposed that we become lovers."

Kirk shook his head. "I don't understand."

Spock clasped his now dildo-less hands behind his back. "This object duplicates the exact size and shape of my erect penis, which I thought would be useful in your preparations."

Kirk whistled. "Well, Mr. Spock, I'm impressed. Your human half doesn't seem to be much in evidence here," he teased.

"Of course not."

"Huh?"

Spock tilted his head slightly. "You are aware that females have two X chromosomes and males have an X and a Y. Since the genes for male genitals are carried on the Y chromosome, and since my mother had no Y chromosome to give me, in this one area, I am fully Vulcan."

Kirk mock-sighed. "Vulcans already have the strength, the intelligence, the telepathy, and a host of other advantages. Couldn't you guys at least have smaller dicks than humans?"

The tips of Spock's ears turned slightly green, and he stood stiffly, as he did when uncomfortable. "The average Vulcan penis and the average human penis differ in length and girth by no more than half a centimeter."

Kirk laughed. "I should have known — I mean when are you ever average?"

Spock continued to look uncomfortable, so Kirk swallowed his amusement. "All right, Spock, I'll stop teasing you." He set the dildo down on his desk, continuing to regard it for a moment, then lifted his eyes to his first officer's face. "All kidding aside, I'm glad to know just how much I'll need to stretch myself out when I prepare for you."

Spock inclined his head. "That is why I constructed the object." He looked searchingly at Kirk's face and said, "Unless it has caused you to reconsider our proposed course of action."

Kirk smiled. "As long as your cock isn't covered in poisonous spikes, I'm not going to change my mind."

Spock's eyes took on the softness they had when he was teasing. "Vulcans do differ from humans in some ways, but the only part of my anatomy that is sharper than your own are the tips of my ears, and we have already established that you find those pleasing."

Kirk looked at the extremely thick dildo sitting on his desk and back at his first officer. He pitched his voice seductively. "I expect to find all of you pleasing, Mr. Spock; it's just that some parts of you will be more ... thoroughly ... pleasing than I'd expected."

Spock inhaled sharply, gave Kirk a hungry look, and abruptly left the room.

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Author's Notes

1. I had expected to have the last chapter up by now, but I have new health problems, in addition to my usual slate of chronic ones. If I utter the words "ultrasound," "biopsy," and "hysterectomy," perhaps you will understand that I'm not just dawdling... Not only is the problem severe enough to make me too mentally foggy to write, but it's hard to feel sexy with this kind of thing going on, and I don't want to give Kirk and Spock anything less than my best.

I'm having surgery on December 16th, and I really will finish this story once I've recovered; I apologize for the delay.

2. There has been considerable preoccupation in Star Trek fan fiction with the exact size and shape of Vulcan genitals. I couldn't resist teasing us all about this, but no disrespect is intended, either to the fandom or to Mr. Spock.

3. This story takes place right after "The Immunity Syndrome." That episode occurred three-quarters of the way through the second season, and yet I have Kirk thinking that he's known Spock for SEVERAL years. Why?

I'm assuming that the first year of the TV series is the second year of the five-year mission at the earliest. Why? Three reasons:

a. It's clear in "Where No Man Has Gone Before" — the second pilot and the first episode made that features Jim Kirk — that the crew has known each other for awhile. Spock is already calling Kirk "Jim" when they're alone, for example.

b. In "The Menagerie," Spock makes two illuminating statements. He says that he served under Captain Pike for "eleven years, four months, five days," AND he says that the events on Talos IV happened "thirteen years ago."

We know that the events on Talos IV were not Spock's first-ever mission with Pike, partly because he's already the science officer, partly because he's still limping from the previous mission. So at least SOME of those "eleven years, four months, five days" happened BEFORE "thirteen years ago," which means that at the time of "The Menagerie," Spock has been serving under Kirk for at least two years, possibly more. But "The Menagerie" is during the first season of TOS.

c. In "Amok Time," at the beginning of the second season, when Spock asks for leave, Kirk says that Spock has never asked for leave "in all the years I've known you." If their time knowing one another had begun when the series did, then this conversation would be happening at the very beginning of their second year, and no one would say "all the years I've known you" to talk about knowing someone for just over one year. So Kirk and Spock must have known each other longer than that.

Conclusion: Season 1 is the second year of the five-year mission at the earliest. This makes dramatic sense, because they're trying to show us a crew that knows each other well, not a crew that's just meeting one another.

4. Fan-made blueprints of the Enterprise show the captain and first officer have adjoining cabins with a shared bathroom. This isn't canon, of course, but lots of TOS fanfic assumes that Kirk and Spock share a bathroom because of those blueprints, because it makes so many things easier. One of the things it makes easier is having Spock bring Kirk a dildo without his having to wander around the corridors carrying it ... though if anyone could carry a dildo through the corridors while wearing a face that flatly prohibited anyone from mentioning this, it would be Spock. :-)

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