—Why you don't like to talk about the past?
I didn't know what time it was, I just knew that Christian was insatiable, and I wanted more and more of him. We had enjoyed each other all night, although I was sure I had done more than he had. For me it wasn't just hot, wild and passionate sex, it was much more. For me it was making love. Because that's what you do when you love a person and I couldn't deny it anymore. I was foolishly and stupidly in love with Christian even though he didn't know it. I didn't imagine what would happen if I told him, or what his reaction would be.
I was lying on his chest, sliding my hand gently as Christian stroked my hair. He had paused briefly when I had asked him the question, but then he had continued to caress me. He didn't answer me.
—I just want to get to know you better. —I said to him too low so he wouldn't listen to me.
—Don't you already know me? —he asked me in a serious tone, but he kept sliding his hand through my hair.
Apparently he had listened to what I said.
—Not enough, sometimes I feel like I don't know who you are. —Christian lifted my head to look me straight in the eye.
—I don't think that's a good idea. —he shook his head.
—That's what you said on the subject of sleepwalking and I think I've dealt with it well so far. — I said smiling at him.
—Yes, it's true, but there are certain things from my past that you won't like to know.
—I think that should be my decision, I don't think so. —I said to him as I lay my head back on his chest.
And I stayed like this for a long time. None of us said anything, we just hugged. I imagined that Christian had some sort of internal battle and was deciding whether or not to tell me. I just hoped he would. That would only help me to understand a little what had happened there.
—London was very complicated for me, I never really wanted to stay there.
—And why did you do it? —I asked him curiously, hoping that this time he would answer the question and not evade me.
He remained silent again and answered after a sigh.
—My parents forced me.
How strange. Although this still didn't explain some things, for example because he hadn't said goodbye to me, he hadn't called me. Why he pretended that I didn't exist.
—Why didn't you ever call me?
—You may think it's absurd but I lost my cell phone and the truth is I never learned your number, believe me, what I wanted most in the world was to communicate with you, but you never gave me your e-mail, it wasn't that we needed it, we lived side by side. I always wanted to explain things to you.
In that part he was right. When we wanted to talk we simply called each other's house.
—You can do it now. —I said to him as I sat on the bed and he did the same as me.
—I'm trying, it's been a long time since I've talked to anyone about my past. —he replied as he took my hands in his own.
—Do you mean, you answer my questions? —I asked hopefully.
—I will try. —he replied as his grey gaze pierced mine.
I could see sincerity in his gaze. What had changed in our relationship so that he would agree to speak of the past? That didn't bother me now. Now I just wanted to ask him everything.
—Then let's start from the beginning. Why did you leave that way that night?
—You don't know how much I wanted to change what happened that night, what I wanted most was to stay and make love to you. You don't know how much I hated my parents for forcing me to leave without saying goodbye to you. —he answered in a low voice, looking down at our intertwined hands.
I had never imagined this. He hated his parents for my sake. How far had Christian come to love me at that time? Was he doing it now?
—You finally slept with me. —I answered him while he looked up smiling.
—Yes, it didn't do me any good to get angry and hate someone, in the end what has to happen will happen no matter what you do sooner or later. —he said as he kissed me on the lips. —Now let's go to sleep, I think I've told you enough for today. —he said, taking the blanket and covering both of us while we lay down on the bed.
—And what are you going to tie yourself with, we don't have the handcuffs. —I said to him, turning towards him, and for a moment he stared at me thoughtfully.
—I think we're going to have to improvise. —he said, getting out of bed and picking up the tie from the floor.
—Are you sure you won't get rid of them?
—I have to at least try. —he said to me, holding out his tie.
I took his hand and stared at him.
—I'm all yours. —he said as he put both hands in front of me smiling and I couldn't help laughing too.
I tied the tie on his left wrist and then gave him mine right so he could tie it there. I think it was going to be safer than tying him to the bed. As soon as he did, he lay down on the bed and I lay on his chest. And while I listened to the rhythmic beats of his heart and he caressed my hair, I fell asleep.
And as I went to bed I woke up the next morning. Christian slept peacefully beside me while I was still lying on his chest. I loosened the tie, being careful not to wake him up, and slowly got out of bed and into the bathroom. I cooled off a little in the shower and went back to the room. I took the first thing I found, which was Christian's shirt, and put it on. He was still asleep so I took the opportunity to prepare breakfast.
— You know what I want to do.
Christian's voice behind me took me out of my concentration on preparing breakfast, which was almost finished. He was lying on the counter, without a shirt, as usual, and in sweatpants that fell sexy on his waist. I hadn't even felt it coming.
—I don't know if you don't tell me. —I said to him as I put a plate of waffles on the counter.
—I want to paint you. —he answered while I was freezing for a moment with the other plate in my hand.
It was lucky that I was with my back to him so he couldn't see my face. This was the first time I heard that someone wanted to paint me. It's the dream come true for every woman who's ever seen Titanic. And it was also mine, although I wasn't going to admit it in front of him.
—Ah, that was it, yes, why not. —I replied as naturally as I could while I put the other plate with waffles on the counter.
But no matter how natural I had answered him inside, I was euphoric, nervous, and anxious.
— So you think you can devote some time to me, just today. —he said as she walked to where I was and sticks to me.
—My time is all yours. —I replied smiling. —You're going to paint me with the dress you liked so much. —I asked him while he smiled at me and glued his lips to mine.
—The idea was very tempting, but in the end I'll end up taking your dress off as soon as I see it on you.
—Then. —I asked framing an eyebrow.
—I'm going to paint you exactly as you are right now. —he said to me against my lips. —You look very sexy like that now...with your hair scrambled and my shirt on. —he said to me sensually as he kissed me briefly on the lips and then went to the fridge to get the juice.
Was he serious about it?
—You really think I look better this way than I did last night. —I inquired by raising an eyebrow while he looked at me and thought about it for a moment.
—You look good in whatever you're wearing, but last night you were exceptionally beautiful. —he replied as he put the juice and two glasses on the counter and I blushed at his comment. —I love it when you blush like that. —he said, sliding one hand down my cheek.
—Then let's have breakfast. —I told him changing the subject as I went and sat at the bar.
Christian sat next to me and stared at me.
—Anyone would think you were anxious for me to paint you. —he said to me as I stopped the fork halfway to my mouth.
—Not much. —I replied as I put my fork in my mouth.
—Has anyone ever painted you? —he asked me while I was blushing again. —I don't think so. —he replied with sufficiency.
—No, no one has ever painted me. —I answered him firmly as I stared him in the eyes.
—Really? —he said thoughtfully. —That makes it more interesting. — what he meant made it more interesting.
—Why do you say that? —I asked him curiously.
—You'll see. —he replied as he began to eat breakfast.
I didn't know why, but I imagined that he had painted hundreds of women on other occasions.
—Have you ever painted more half-naked people? —I asked him as he looked at me sideways.
—Yes. —he replied as he took a sip of juice.
—A lot? —I asked him, fearing the answer.
—Do you want a number? —he asked, raising an eyebrow.
—Yes. —I replied firmly, but I didn't really want to know the answer.
—Eleven or twelve. —he replied as he thought.
What I feared. It wasn't that I hadn't painted anyone, but it wasn't the same at school as painting someone important to you. Now I felt at a disadvantage. I continued to finish my breakfast now much slower than at the beginning. Now I didn't think it was a good idea for him to paint me. At the end of the day, just another one of the many that he had already painted.
—What's the matter with you? —he asked as he lifted my head and stared into my eyes.
What was happening to me? Was I jealous of the women he'd had? Or the women he had painted. It was completely absurd.
—Then will I be number thirteen? Will I become one more number? —I asked him as he squinted.
—A number? —he asked without understanding.
—Yes, then I'll be the thirteenth woman you've painted. —I asked him while he looked at me very seriously.
—Not really. —he replied smiling as he ran his hand through his hair.
—I don't understand you, haven't you painted twelve women before me? —I asked him without understanding what he was saying.
—No. I have painted twelve people, but no woman. —he replied while I looked at him in confusion.
—What do you mean? — I asked him intrigued.
—Exactly that, you're the first woman I'm going to paint and I can't wait to start. —he replied as he smiled sideways, causing me to melt on the sidewalk.
Why his smile still had the power to disarm me completely.
—Are you done yet? —he asked me as I looked at my plate.
The truth was that my appetite was suddenly gone. At that moment I didn't think I could eat anything else.
—Yes, I think I'm done. —I answered by running the plate to the side and looking into his eyes.
—Then come on, I don't want to lose another second. —he said as he offered me his hand and led me to the room.
—And how do you want me to get on? — I asked him as he hit me and kissed me on the lips.